Obligatory Author's Note: Err, Meow?
No, but seriously… it occurred to me as I was writing this chapter that I never specified WHEN my little fic takes place in relation to episodes. So, just to let you know… this is POST-"Birthmark."
Oh, yes one more thing. In this chapter I make note of Raven's empathic absorbing abilities... now, as I have mentioned before, I haven't seen all that many episodes of Teen Titans, so technically I don't know if Robin knows or doesn't know about this ability (with my luck he does) but for all intensive purposes for this story, he doesn't. Okie dokie? Cool. Knew you'd understand.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans, but if I DID I would STILL be writing this story. The only difference would be that you would actual see it on the Telly…
Blackbirds Singing In The Dead Of Night
I'm running through flames… they lick at my heels, blistering my bare legs. My clothes hang from my body, torn and tattered, clinging to me with nothing more than willpower. My skin stares out from behind the rags… revealing bloody scratches of uncertain origin and the glowing letters of my unwanted destiny…
Everywhere I look I see fire and pain and suffering. The screaming is unlike anything I have ever heard… humans in eternal torment, suffering in an everlasting inferno.
I know this place well. The remnants of my home in Jump City…after He gets through with it… after I allow Him to…
I hear His voice in my ear. He's telling me that running is useless. After all, He lives within me, within my mind, within my soul…within my very blood…
And with each pound of my petrified heart I feel His presence.
I should just give in and stop running from Him…it would be so much easier. I wouldn't suffer at all, He promises.
I know better than to believe a liar, but the gravitational pull of temptation is still there, tantalizing me with the possibility of never feeling pain again. Never feeling the burning of loss and defeat, or the sting of love in despair, or the repugnance of self-contempt…I'd feel nothing… nothing…
He'll catch me eventually. I can't stop Him. No matter how hard I may try, in the end He will win… so why not just make it easier on myself? Why not let Him have what He wants so badly? It's my destiny, right? There's no stopping it. Why bother trying?
His voice is so reassuring; sounding just like a father should sound…
The fire around me is growing and the heat is burning my flesh.
I welcome it now…just let the pain end…
A pillar of fire and lava erupts in front of me, stopping me dead in my tracks.
I put my arms up to guard my face as flame pours out at me.
It washes over me as gentle and as soothing as bath water. I feel no pain…just like He promised I wouldn't…
But shame still envelopes me…His apathy has not settled into place as it should have…I can still hear the horrible screams of the suffering mortals and it sickens me…
I shut my eyes in an effort to block the images, but now the sounds are deafening… I can make out the individual screams; it's no longer just an androgynous roar…
I fall to the floor and hug my head, trying to obstruct the noise, the horrible noise…but instead it just clarifies the rumble and I can now hear four distinct, earsplitting screams of agony and torture…
In horror, I jump to my feet and look to see where the screams are coming from…
I don't see them, I can't find them… Cyborg… Starfire… Beast Boy…Robin… I scream their names… where are they? I have to find them! I have to save them…
They wail in a torment that should have been my own. A pain that I alone should have suffered…
Tears trail down my face, and they burn me like the fire should have. I run through the blaze, caring no longer for my own suffering only that of my friends… my only friends… my family…I have to find them.
Where are you? They scream on and on. Where are you? Where are you!
I run and run, wailing their names as they wail out to me to help them… save them… but, as His voice informs me once more, no matter how hard I try, I never will…
The sounds of two over-inflated ego's bickering like nine year-olds stirs me from my restless oblivion. Why am I not surprised?
Cyborg and Robin are standing about four feet apart, both, for their part, looking heated.
"I'm in no mood to talk about it now, Cyborg!" Robin's voice is sharp in an irate whisper. His hands are clenched at his side, suggesting that it is taking sustained effort for him not to reach out and whollop his best friend.
"Man that is NO excuse!" Cyborg's deep voice is louder than Robin's, though it's obvious he's trying to keep his voice low as well. Thanks for the effort, morons. He's standing at his full height, towering over Robin as though at any minute he's going to give up and just step on our much smaller leader.
Theoretically speaking, I could end this little spat they're having by making known my consciousness, but at the moment I don't feel like bothering… besides, as all the world knows, if Robin and Cyborg don't fight it out and by doing so lay the ground for tactical forgiveness there will be no living with them for weeks… And in some cases months.
"It's between Raven and I, okay?" Robin voice is shaking with self-control as he speaks and I can't help but feel a burst of satisfaction knowing that he is no longer trying so hard to maintain his emotions.
"It might'a been between you and her when you all were in the gym," Cyborg says, punctuating each word by poking Robin's chest with his mechanical finger, "but when she ends up beat-up and comatose in my clinic, then we have a group situation."
"It's not like that, Cyborg," Robin says as he throws Cyborg's finger away from him crossly.
"Oh? And how exactly is it, Robin?" Cyborg's asks in a patronizingly low voice.
A good friend at this point would undoubtedly jump in and help out her friend. Undoubtedly, I try to keep the smile off my face as I watch Robin continue on his road to incoherency.
"It's… well," he scratches his head, knowing his effort to articulate properly the situation is failing, "it's like this - err…you see, she was trying to-"
Cyborg just crosses his arms in front of his chest, as if proving his point.
Okay, okay. I'll be nice. "You know the two of you are becoming quite the passionate duo," I say mockingly. My voice is thick and much lower than I had expected it to be, but they hear me nevertheless. "Tell me, having trouble picking out the china?"
Cyborg rushes to my side immediately, disregarding my comments. "Hey, dark girl," he says, his voice is so wonderfully tender that it just about brings me to tears, "how you feelin'?"
You don't hate me... how could you not hate me? "Like I got hit with a red and green Mack truck with a license plate that said 'Wonder Boy'," I say blandly.
Cyborg chuckles softly. "I think your gonnabe okay," he says as pats my arm softly in assurance.
Cyborg moves as if he is about to walk away from my side, and before I can think better of it, I grab a hold of his armored hand, halting him, and I look into his questioning eyes. "Thank you, Cyborg," I say, trying to convey as much meaning into that statement as possible. Thank you for helping me. Thank you for forgiving me. Thank you for being my friend.
His eyes soften and he smiles warmly, "No problem, girl." He laughs playfully and ruffles my hair, a gesture I would have at any other time been most unappreciative of, but can't help but find gratifying now, "You've grown on me, you know. Like a fungus."
"Oh wonderful," I try to say sarcastically, but the note of good humor is irrepressible.
Cyborg's smile widens and he winks at me with his human eye. He then looks over at Robin and his expression changes in to one more stern, "We'll continue our discussion later." He steps away from my side and begins to step towards the door, "Now, if you two don't mind," he yawns and stretches out his limbs, "it's late, and I need to let my system rest." He opens the door and steps out, but just before he closes the door again he scrutinizes Robin and I, "Can I trust you both not to kill one another while I'm gone?"
Robin sighs in defeat, "Yes, Cy."
Cyborg looks at me for confirmation and I raise my right hand in the air, "Scout's honor."
"You're no Girl Scout," he says, "but I'll take it anyway."
The door swooshes shut, leaving Robin and I alone.
I watch with my eyebrow raised as Robin slowly walks over to the cot next to mine and lies down on his side facing me. "He doesn't believe that I didn't try and kill you," he clarifies plainly under my inquiring eyes.
I smirk at him, "There is good reason for that…"
His expression sours, "Stop it. I feel bad enough already." He buries his face into his pillow and mumbles to himself.
"Don't worry too much," I say to him, "I'll talk to him tomorrow… in fact I have to talk to a lot of people tomorrow…" Starfire and Beast Boy, hope they are as forgiving as Cyborg…
Robin brings his face out of his pillow and mutters a thank you.
"So," I say trying to alleviate the disposition, "what was the final count on the injuries you inflicted upon my hapless body?"
He glares at me, his expression indicating his ill-humor. "You have a concussion," he voices quietly. "Cyborg said it was pretty bad."
I nod. No real shocker there. "You brute."
"Your noise was broken too," he continues, paying no attention to me, "but it looks like the combination between your healing powers and Cyborg's medicine has healed it pretty well."
I touch my nose gently, "It feels better."
"You still look pretty bad though, real puffy and bruised."
I glance over at him, "You really know how to make a girl feel good about herself don't you?" I say sardonically.
Robin looks momentarily stricken, "I'm sorry, I wasn't-"
I raise my hand up to quiet him, "Please don't apologize anymore, Robin. 'Sorry' is becoming the most over-used word in your lexicon."
We both stay silent for a moment. The air is thick with hesitance and an uncertainty as to what needs to be said between us now. The events of this evening hang between us on an almost perceptible line.
"What about you?" I finally ask, breaking the uncomfortable stillness. "What injuries can I brag about later?"
He smiles and points to his bottom lip, "Six stitches and a cracked jawbone."
I sigh dejectedly, "That's all?"
He laughs for a moment before groaning in pain. He tenderly reaches up his hand and touches his jaw, "If it makes you feel better, it hurts like hell."
I'm about to express my appeasement, but, upon grasping how much pain he truly is in, I think better of it. Instead, after swiftly establishing that I am feeling strong enough to stand on my own, I toss the covers off me and throw my legs over the side of the bed, heaving myself into an upright arrangement. I stand and wince as I feel my bare feet hit the cold floor. Thanks for taking off my shoes and socks, you bastards. If I catch a cold, I'll be sure to send flowers.
"What are you doing?" Robin asks as I slowly limp over to his cot.
I ignore him, "Scoot over," I say once I am by his bed.
"Ah, Raven?"
"Hurry up, would you? I can't stay standing up for long." And indeed my legs buckle painfully and I pitch forward onto him. "This is why you listen to me when I tell you to do things," I state, though my voice is muffled by his shoulder.
"Well," he says as he helps me roll off of him, "how was I supposed to know you were serious? I know my bed's alluring, Raven, but honestly-"
He breaks off his ego-trip to chuckle as I glare disdainfully at him from my new position beside him on the cot.
"-Or not," he concludes. "So what are you doing exactly?"
Restraining the urge to be violent. "Hold still," I command as I reach my hand up to his face, channeling as much energy as I can muster in my weak condition. He doesn't move when my hand lightly contacts his face, and looks appropriately thunderstruck when I absorb his pain.
I take my hand away. "Neat, huh?" I say insipidly.
"How did you do that?" He whispers as he touches his face in awe.
"It's part of being an empath," I state, uncomfortable under his admiration. "Just comes with the territory."
He grasps my hand and looks it over in fascination, "Does it hurt?"
I shake my head, for some reason finding it difficult to speak as he begins drawing mini-circles on my palm… almost as if trying to coax the healing powers from it… Snap out of it. "Can I have my hand back, please?" I ask in a much softer voice than I had intended. I fight to keep the red from pooling in my cheeks. What the hell is wrong with you?
Robin releases my hand quickly. A flash of emotion passes over his face, but it's gone to quickly for me to register. He smiles awkwardly, "I'm, uh, definitely going to be hitting you up whenever I'm in pain now, Raven. Just letting you know in advance." His usual cocky aura is back and I never realized how much I missed it.
"Yeah," I agree, finding it strangely difficult to keep the conversation going. "You're going to become addicted to me before you know it." The words leave my mouth before I can think to stop them. Oh dear God… I feel my face beginning to do its remarkable impersonation of a tomato as I mentally smack myself. Real swift, please continue to embarrass yourself, Raven, you're becoming so very good at it.
He smirks, whether at my statement or at my discomfiture is anyone's guess… though I'm pretty sure I know the answer. In an act of surprising humility on his part, he stays silent. Whew.
A moment or two of uncomfortable silence passes. Uhg, I can't take this crap. I interrupt the stillness by moving to get up and go back to my own bed. And bury my face in humiliation. But, Robin grabs my arm, halting me. I turn back to face him, my confusion undoubtedly evident in my eyes.
"I wanted to talk to you… uh, about tonight," he explains. I sense the hidden imploring in his statement, though his face looks gravely serious.
I sit back once more, "All right," I say simply, knowing that this will be less of a talk and more of a listen.
He averts his eyes and pauses a moment to gather his thoughts. I watch as he nods to himself and then lifts his eyes once more to mine. Even through his mask I can make out an intensity in them that has never before been directed at me. "I wanted to thank you, Raven," he says, his voice struggling not to choke with emotion. "Though, that doesn't seem adequate enough for what you've done for me." He grabs my hand and squeezes it between his, "I really don't know what to say. You-you really saved me here tonight."
"Robin-"
"-Let me finish," he stops me. A tear rolls down his eye as he continues, "Batman was my family. For so long, he was all I had… he was the closest thing to a father I had. When he… when he d-died… I just… I just froze. It felt like my life-force just breathed out of me the instant that Al told me what had happened… I just… I just couldn't believe that he could die, you know?"
I nod my head stupidly.
"I didn't think anything could ever kill him," he wipes at his eyes angrily. "He was always so indestructible, so infallible… and an… an accident does him in. A goddamn misplaced box kills him… after all the things he's faced, and it's his own damn fault… what way is that to go, Raven? What way is that to go? I just… I always thought he'd go down fighting… in a blaze of glory, sacrificing himself like the hero he was. And now… I don't know, I just… he was always my fall back, you know? He was always going to be there and he was always going to have my back… and I knew… I knew that if ever there came a time that I was just in over my head… he would be there and he would pull me out of it…and now… now I have nobody to fall back on."
My hand creeps up to his face and brushes a tear from his cheek, feeling very awkward about all this, but at the same time knowing that this is what he needs. "That's not true at all. I'm here, Robin. Cyborg, Starfire, and even Beast Boy… we're here for you to fall back on now. I know it can't be the same, and that maybe we're not quite as organized as Batman was," Robin nods and chuckles softly, "but we're still here. And we're not going anywhere."
He bows his head, "I don't deserve you all."
"No you, don't," I sigh, the note of humor barely perceptible in my voice, "but we're here anyway."
"How did you know?" He asks, apparently only half-interested in being reassured of his self-worth. "How did you know that I wasn't okay? Everyone else seemed to think I was fine."
"We share a bond, remember?" I repeat his words back to him, trying to ignore the memory of the day that followed his concern. "I've been inside your mind."
He smirks, "Let me inside yours, right?"
"Yes, I believe that's what you said," I concur, and continue before he has the chance to question me once more about events I have no wish to recall, "but that's for another day."
Robin allows me my peace and decides instead to stay quiet for a moment. He grasps my hand once more and begins to weave his fingers through mine, a gesture that I instantly feel is too intimate, but am too drained to do anything about. "I have to go to his funeral on Friday," he speaks suddenly, his masked eyes searching mine, "will you go with me?"
A thousand replies swim through my head. Why me?; Take Starfire, she's better at this comforting crap.; I'm washing my hair that day.; I have to meditate.; No… But as I look at him in his vulnerability and misery, I can only articulate one answer.
"Of course, I will."
To be continued!
Syaoronsangel: The 'Raven-Pillow' comment actually is a direct quote of mine when I was in a similar situation… I thought it was appropriate here, and I'm glad you thought it was funny! I really strive to make them seem at least vaguely realistic, so to know that I'm accomplishing that is very reassuring. Hope you continue to like my story!
Child of Blood: I don't think I could stop this story, even if I was flamed into pieces! I've grown too attached to it. I know basically how every chapter will go so I don't have too much of an excuse for stopping! I'm glad you like it and hope you continue too!
DITZY: Thank you!
Halcycon: I'm honored to be your first Robin/Raven fic! I hope I don't wind up turning you off the couple! And as for your question, no it wasn't part of Raven's tricky plan (I'm not clever enough for something like that…) she was just to weak to even stand much less use her powers (go with me on this one…). I'm sorry I didn't make that clearer in my story. Hope you continue reading!
Ravrob4ever: Thank you kindly! I've had several people say that my story is original and it just gets better every time I hear it! I hope you continue to enjoy!
xJiHyex: I hope you continue to 'stalk' my story and I am so very glad that you like it. Robin and Raven are VERY hard to keep in character, especially when trying to get them to admit feelings for one another. They're stubborn bastards…
Lynx16: I agree that OOC is becoming a much too reoccurring element to Robin/Raven stories… though I understand why. They are VERY hard to keep in character and often my feminine dedication to lovey dovey-ness wants to overtake me and have them just attack each other already. I promise to restrain myself. Hope you continue to enjoy!
Rosethorn1611: Thank you so much! Hope you continue to enjoy!
Sharawolfdemon45: I'm sorry I was a bit delayed in getting this story updated for you! Writer's block is a nasty ailment. I'm glad you like it and hope you continue too.
Ally127: Thank you! I've been called awesome… excuse me as a strut now….
Azarathgirl: Thank you for continuing to review and enjoy my little fic. Love you much for it!
Chiclet2021: I'm glad you liked my pillow gag… true story actually… different people, but true none-the-less. Thank you for continuing to like my story! Hope I can keep you interested.
Semmy-genius: (beams) thank you! I'm feeling quite haughty now…
Solitaire parker: Thank you thank you thank you! I appreciate your appreciation! I actual decided to write this fic after reading a few Robin/Raven stories that I felt didn't really grasp their characters. I have to say that it is rather difficult to keep them IC, so thank you for appreciating my endeavor and I hope that I can keep them sounding real to you.
The Wings of a Raven: Thank you! I hadn't really thought of this story as fluff, but I don't mind if you do! Hope you continue to read and like.
Softballtitan009: Oh I'm glowing… thank you so much for your lovely review. I get tingly when people say that they think my story is one of the best… hope you continue to think so!
Dove of Night: Glad you liked Raven's "Miss-Fix-It" job on Robin! I was afraid some people wouldn't understand, glad to know you did! Hope you continue to read and enjoy!
Shadow290: I'm so glad that I captured his ego and her sarcasm for you. They are a hard couple to write so it's lovely to know when people think they sound right.
Raggedwings: Thank you! Keep reading and I hope to keep you entertained!
Maile: Of course the other Titans won't stay mad for long! Like I'd really make them all hate her… although it is tempting… Nah, I'll be good. Hope you continue to enjoy!
SRC: I got an 'Ay Caramba', excuse me I have to do a happy dance now… Anyways, glad you like my little ficcie. And I promise to do my very best to keep them in character and not glorify them. I agree that they are often written as to perfect and infallible. Frailty is human nature and I love exploiting it! Hehe. Hope you continue to enjoy!
DarkRavenCosmos: (Controlling urge to sound like Starfire) Thank you! Yes, I rather like the image of him carrying her as well. Schools a bitch, esp. when you've got stories to update! Hope you continue to enjoy my fic!
Siren's Call: Thank you so much! When he first wakes up is my favorite part too. Hope I continue to impress you!
Selfless: My friends use to call me 'The Walking, Talking Dic….tionary' so I feel your pain! I'd hug you in comradery but alas, this is the internet and I can not. I hope this update was soon enough for you and you were not forced to go on a murderous rampage… I'd feel quite guilty. Hope you continue to enjoy!
Mysti-eyed: Thank you for reviewing and I love how nice you were about asking me to update! Most are like 'update soon or I'll hex you' haha.. not that I mind. The fact that you like my story is quite lovely enough for me.
Majestical: I sincerely hope that I can mange to keep you interested, and your encouragement is appreciated!
Cherry Jade: I look forward to your reviews the most! You sound like Raven huh? You and I would have gotten along splendidly during my 10th grade year at high school! Basically I am drawing from who I use to be when I write all the characters… I was Beast Boy when I was in 6th and 7th grade… Starfire in 8th and 9th… Raven in 10th and 11th… Robin in 12th… and now I'm kind of a Cyborg, just easy going. Boo-yah! Sorry couldn't control myself…
Alena-chan: Thank you! I hope I can keep on your 'awesome' list as my story progresses!
ChocolateCurlz: I have to tell you, the fact that you, almighty CC of the Robin/Raven world of awesome fics, is even reviewing my story is like the coolest thing ever… much less even enjoying it. I feel quiet giddy, actually… but at the same time strangely inadequate… ah! Panic attack! Hehe, hope I can continue to make you want to read my story.
Hollywoodstarsandeves: Raven does have an awful lot of sarcasm doesn't she? Even while I was writing it, I was like 'Oooh, you bitch!'… In the best way I assure you. I'm so glad you're getting the contempt/admire feel… it means I'm doing my job. Hope you continue to review… I really look forward to hearing from you!
Rubianca: Thank you so much! Robin and Raven thank you too… isn't that right? Oh wait damnit. I forgot they don't exist again…I hope you continue to enjoy my fic!
Love you all!