Author's Note: Ah yes the funeral… Hardest. Chapter. Ever. Sorry it took so long to get this bloody thing out, but it took me forever to figure out what I wanted to be said here. I am not even exaggerating when I say I wrote NINE versions of this chapter before finally deciding on this one.
Also, sorry it's a bit short, originally I planned to write the reception scene (which will be the next chapter) in this chapter, but I thought that you all had waited quite long enough for me to update, so I figured you would prefer a short chapter than none at all… And the next chapter will hopefully be up MUCH sooner than this one was because I've already started on it and it's mostly done…
Disclaimer: So long, and thanks for all the fish...
Blackbirds Singing In The Dead Of Night
"If I ask you to, would you tell me that this is all just some bad dream I'm having?"
I turn my eyes from Batman's grave to the darkened soul standing solid beside me. The gentle breeze is ruffling his ebony hair and his face is shadowed in a stony exposition, making him look very much the part of grieving son desperate to stay strong for the sake of the rest of his family.
"I could," I reply, returning my gaze to the final resting place of the beloved hero, "but what good would it do when you already know that you're not?"
Robin doesn't answer. I didn't think he would, as the question was more rhetorical than anything else.
I watch as he drops his shoulders and runs a weary hand through his careless hair, making it stick up awkwardly in all directions. I determinedly resist the faint impulse to reach over and smooth it down for him.
Batman's funeral concluded a little less than a half an hour ago and all those who attended the morose affair have by now made their way over to Wayne Manor for tea and memories.
Well that is to say all but Robin and myself, who, for the majority of the time passed, have stood in a reverent sort of silence as we pay our final respects to the departed hero. More like he reflects and I stand awkwardly beside him.
Although darkness and the general melancholy of everyday life may be considered something I am quite familiar and acutely at ease with, funerals are most assuredly not… and Batman's was worse than most. Far worse.
When sitting back and reflecting on funerals, a certain expectation as to what will be seen, what will be heard, and what will be experienced predictably comes to mind…
Hysterical sobbing from devoted lovers… possessed ravings from those who have not accepted the deceased passing… cover-up coughing fits from the men… silent whimpers from the women… restlessness from children who do not comprehend the gravity of the event they are bearing witness too…
That's what I expected, that's what I had been prepared for.
I had not, however, been prepared for the overwhelming stillness of the quietly devastated… nor had I been set to witness the tragic emptiness of silent tears streaming down faces that would have otherwise appeared unaffected.
Every soul at the funeral, save for possibly myself, was far beyond destroyed by the Dark Knight's untimely death… and the tangible sadness that they all felt was so great and so profound that, to an empath such as myself, it felt as though being physically tortured… as though every muscle in my body was contracting at once to give birth to flames.
Their pain had been hazy and intense all at once and had it not been for Robin firmly clutching my hand within his own I would have run from the scene and vomited several times over.
Eventually the dizzy sense of blurred emotion became so concentrated that I was forced to lean heavily in to Robin to make sure that, despite its valiant efforts, gravity remained inside my sphere of control. Robin, for his part, barely seemed to notice.
And now, as I watch him walk slowly over to the headstone of his fallen mentor, I wonder if he truly is completely cured of the deadly numbness I fought to save him from… though I can feel the immense sorrow within him, his presence remains empty and stoic as though he were merely watching a boring television show instead of burying his surrogate father. So help me, if I have to beat it out of him again-
He kneels upon the freshly shoveled dirt and bows his head in a shocking display of personal defeat… my previous concerns vanish as I watch in morbid fascination as he grabs of fistful of the brown earth above Batman's covered grave and clenches it tightly within his hand.
He whispers something I make a point of not hearing before closing his eyes and resting his forehead against the cold, gray headstone… seeming to take a strange solace in the solidity it provides.
After a moment, he slowly rises to his feet and places a crimson rose on the top of Bruce's tombstone. He chokes back his tears, looking at though there is still much more that he needs to convey, but can not seem to find the words to express himself properly.
He knocks his bare knuckles lighting against the burial stone, evidently at a profound loss, before he gradually shuffles back to my side.
His knees are now caked in the dark brown of wet earth, but I don't know that he notices or even cares. The stark contrast of the dirt on his black slacks provides a hypnotic rhythm to his walk and it entrances me for a moment with its slow simplicity
"I didn't come up with the epitaph," he informs me randomly after a few moments of silence. "Alfred asked me what I wanted it to read, but I… I wasn't really up to the job… so he asked Selina to come up with it."
I hold my interest for a further explanation as to the identity of Selina for later, and instead pause a moment to read the inscription once more to myself. Bruce Wayne. Beloved Father and Philanthropist. He Saved a Lot of Lives. "Fitting," I say simply.
He nods, "Yeah… yeah, it is."
I can feel the grief and regret permeating from his pores. It turns my stomach.
I sense him unconsciously inching closer to my side; an instinctive motion that I know has everything to do with his need for the comfort I am not sure I can provide him.
I don't know how to help you, Robin…
He's so close now that our thighs are brushing through the fabric of our slacks.
I wish now, even more than before, that Robin had brought Starfire instead of me… she probably would have been a much better companion to an event such as this. All I have done thus far is stand stoically, uselessly, beside him; uncertain as to how I am supposed to offer him the soothing presence he is wordlessly pleading for.
I don't know how to give you what you want…
My hand inadvertently brushes his and, instinctively, he clasps it and entwines his fingers through my own… not noticing my shock at the unexpected contact of his warm hand against my icy skin.
I turn my gaze in an effort to meet his, but his eyes are closed in a useless attempt to defend his unmasked pupils from the harsh, radiantly burning sun. I watch in cloudy fascination as he leans his head back and breathes in the warm afternoon air. The sun briefly illuminates his skin and for a moment he glows dimly despite his shadowed psyche.
It has been an aberrantly beautiful day for a funeral… especially a funeral in Gotham, which is notorious for its normally dismal climate conditions. It's almost as though Nature decided that on this day of profound mourning, in order to show her unfathomable respect for the fallen champion, she would exclaim her own delicate beauty and gentle power… and infinite grasp of poetic irony.
Despite the pleasant weather, the heavy weight of the day is beginning to take its toll my body and before long I find myself stifling a yawn.
"Are you ready to go in to the reception yet?" I ask in what I attempt to make a soft and understanding tone. I still manage to sound harsh, even to my own ears.
He pauses a moment in consideration before firmly shaking his head, "No, not yet," he turns to face me and in his eyes I can plainly see the hazy sorrow of the unresolved, "but, you can… I think I'd actually like to be alone for a little while anyway."
I offer him a small, accepting smile. "All right, but I'm warning you now, I have a very low tolerance for socialites. For their sake, try not to be too long." I reach up and squeeze his shoulder gently before turning around and leisurely starting toward Wayne Manor.
"Hey Raven!"
I stop and twist around, "Yes?"
"I, uh…," he looks down at the ground as though the words his is searching for will magically appear somewhere on the earth. "Well for all of this, I really, uh, I really owe you one."
I can not help but smirk at his well-meaning emptiness. This is the kind of thing you just can't pay back, Robin. "Damn right you do, Grayson," I call back to him as I start walking once more to the looming mansion, "and, I'm taking your firstborn too, but just to make sure it all evens out."
Although I do not see the grin that erupts across his dark features, I know it's there.
To be continued!
Author's Note Part Deux: Most of you will undoubtedly by disappointed by the way this chapter was presented, but, after much thought, I decided that only a vague description of the event was necessary for my vision. I am very sorry if you're dissatisfied, but if it makes you feel any better, the funeral is NOT, and never was intended to be, a crucial element in the long run of this story… the climax of the story is many more chapters away. Batman's death is not the center focus of this story, it's really just the prologue…. Okay I'm done explaining myself… feel free to throw the tomatoes now. Wakka, wakka, wakka!
On to the Reviewers!
Erin Hatfield: Thank you for reading my little ficcie! I don't think the writers will ever get their heads out of their asses, if they did though I would officially declare it a national holiday! Hope you continue to enjoy!
Majestical: I actually specifically made Raven have to dress in unappealing clothes simply for the reason that I get tired of stories where the "unattractive" girl does her hair, puts on makeup and a tight dress and suddenly she's magically "attractive." It's all rubbish to me and I'm glad you agree… Raven is defiantly more the suit-type.
M.I.A Since '85: You ask good questions my friend. The way I see it, Raven has never been able to be completely herself because she is unable to express her emotions to their full capacity. Therefore, I would assume that a lot of what she says, feels, and thinks would naturally contradict. It's not that she cares what other people look like it's that she, regardless of what she says, cares what she looks like just like any normal girl… the only reason it's less obvious with her is because for as long as she's lived all she's ever done is mute her emotions… but just because they're muted doesn't mean they aren't there…. Okay I'm done being philosophical, and I'm sure I've confused the hell out of you haha! Glad you like my story and hope you continue to enjoy.
Suijin: I completely relate. I am the youngest of six, four of which are girls; therefore hand-me-downs were basically all I wore until I was 16. And believe me when I say that having to wear a pink, taffeta 80's dress to your freshman Homecoming (it was in 2000 by the way) will leave you scarred forever, haha! I'm also doing a snoopy dance because you added me to your favorites. Hope you continue to enjoy!
Raggedywings: Thank you so much! Hope you continue to read and enjoy!
Lynx16: Thank you, dah-ling. And yes, the Robin vs. Richard angle is VERY fun to play with.
Sharawolfdemon45: He-he. I'm blushing and giggling. Seriously. Thank you so much, hope you continue to enjoy!
Mysti-eyed: Ah, yes, I remember Romeo and Juliet homework all too well haha. Hope you get through it better than I did!
Ni9htdreame12: Sorry it took so long to update! Hope you continue to enjoy!
ChocolateCurlz: CC and CC…hmm, we should start a band! I'm glad you liked Raven's reflection of Starfire and herself… I took pains to make sure it came out as natural as possible. I have to agree that there are way too many Rob/Rae fans out there who are willing to write off Star as evil if it gets their couple together. Personally, I think it's more interesting when there is angst and the human element involved. Plus I kind of have a place in my heart for Starfire… it's not her fault the writers seem intent on putting her and Robin together after all. And as for Terra and BB, sadness abounds. I think that that story arc was really a stroke of brilliance in the show, it really added depth to BB's character… and makes playing with his emotions in fanfic world sadistically fun! And for the love of god never re-think the way you write things, especially on my account! Haha. I come out with a decent chapter here and there… but I fully realize that I'm not consistently good, whereas you turn out story after story of awesomeness. By-the-by if you don't update soon I might have to take hostages… hehe. Hope you continue to shower my ego! Lova ya.
Shadow290: Sorry about the wait my friend. I promise that, while this chapter might be kind of lacking, the next few chapters will be worth it!
Ravrob4ever: Thank you for appreciating my take on Star. Too many Rob/Rae writers are eager to discount her as a biotch for the purposes of getting the birds together… I just can't bring myself to do that though. Star is pretty okay in my book so you'll get no bashing from me. Hope you continue to enjoy!
Otakualways: Sorry for the delay! The next few chapters are on their way and I promise they will be far more exciting than this one.
Rosethorn1611: Thank you so much! I'm glad I made your day… and you so totally made mine! Hope you continue to read and enjoy!
Syaoronsangel: No problem about the e-mailing my friend, I'm just sorry I hadn't been before! Glad you liked chapter 5, it was my favorite so far. This chapter is a bit slow, but the next few chapters will be more interesting I promise. I had a lot of fun dressing Raven in BB and Robin's clothes, and a part of me wishes I could dress BB and Robin in Raven's…. hehe. "And now, the Teen Titan Transvestites!" Very "Rocky Horror Picture Show" hehe. I'm glad you liked Robin's de-masking… I have to agree that too many times it's done very cheesy. Hope you continue to enjoy… I'll give you cookies if you do…hehe.
Selfless: Oh! I love you because you used the word 'guffaw'! Nobody uses that word anymore and it's one of my personal favorites…right behind 'persnickety'. Glad you liked chapter five. This chapter, 6, is really more for transitional purposes so you have to promise to read it regardless of how slow it is… the next few chapters are going to pick the story up tremendously, so keep reading! I hope you continue to enjoy.
DarkRavenCosmos: Thank you so much. And I have to agree that her relationship with her family is… dysfunctional. I actually plan to build more on that in coming chapters so keep reading. I know this chapter is a bit slow, but the next ones will play big in to the grand scheme of things. So keep reading!
Zaire: Thanks! Hope you continue to enjoy!
Doza: Sorry that the funeral thus far has been pretty vague. But you'll be getting your guest appearances in the next chapter so keep reading! Also, what you said about how the more human hero's are the more we want them to live forever was incredibly poignant and in once draft I did of this chapter Raven said something very similar (obviously I cut it though…) The story will actually not revolve around Batman's death… that is just one of the trials that Robin and Raven are going to go through in this little ficcie of mine. Hope you continue to read and enjoy!
Cherry Jade: I love saying things in dictionary form too! Sorry about the long lack of updates (this chapter was a doozy) and doubly sorry for the slowness of this chapter… but trust me when I say that what's going to be coming around the bend will pick of the story considerably. I actually attempted to write out a big long chapter and explanation of the funeral, but every time I finished it, it came out sounding very forced and contrived… so eventually I just realized that, besides the fact that it was not all that important to the story to have, Raven just would not be able to describe a funeral while it was happening because she would be too busy reeling from all the emotions everyone else was experiencing…thus, this chapter was born. I know that it's a bit vague, but just bear with me for a little while longer, okay? I promise it will get good soon. Love ya!
Alena-chan: Never apologize for spelling errors my friend because trust me when I say that if I didn't have spell-check to back me up, my chapters would be unintelligible haha. Glad you liked chapter five… it was my favorite thus far to write. This chapter was sooooo hard to get through haha. But I am real excited about the next several chapters, they promise to be much more fun to write. Hope you continue to read and enjoy.
Sarah Cabbage Patch: Thank you for taking the time to review my baby! I always enjoy seeing new reviewers on my list. I'm glad your excited about where I'm taking my story… though I know this chapter is a bit weak… the next several chapter will really lay out what the big climactic battle will be about. Hope you continue to read and enjoy!
Gentle-writer: Don't feel 'like a pebble in a lake of (my) story' my friend! I always look forward to your reviews and hope to see more of you as my story begins to unfold.
Hollywoodstarsandeves: Dressing in boy's clothes is basically a pastime in my household, haha. But having to dress in guys DRESS clothes would be more than awkward, especially if you were attending a billionaire's funeral. Yikes. I almost feel bad for making Raven go through that… almost. He he. And it totally sucks that you can't see 'Birthmark' yet. I really hope that it airs for you soon. The big spoilers in my fic won't be coming for a few more chapters (although as I said, I do allude to events in 'Birthmark' a lot) so hopefully you'll have seen it by then. Love ya! Hope you continue to enjoy. I know that this chapter is kind of dull and repetitive, but I promise the next few will add some twists.
Rubianca: You don't sound like a broken record to me! I love hearing that she's in character so feel free to say it until you are blue in the face, hehe. It sucks that you haven't seen 'Birthmark'! I hope CN Asia plays it soon so that you can keep reading. The chapters that are going to deal with the events of 'Birthmark' are coming up, but hopefully you'll have seen it by then. I've got my fingers crossed. If you have any questions or anything, feel free to ask me and I'll be happy to answer. Hope you continue to read and enjoy! I know this chapter is slow but the next few will really be something.
Azarathgirl: Rough stuff my friend. Hope it all sorts itself out soon. My ex-best friend, who I had known my whole life, fooled around with my ex-boyfriend (while he was my boyfriend) behind my back, so I feel ya.
Love you all!