A Romance in Three Acts:

Hello All. This I wrote quicky. As it symbolizes it is a three act story.

I'm glad that some of you read Draco's Detour, I quite liked it. Anyway here is: The Mating Rituals of Trolls. I wrote it really quickly based off of a plot bunny someone kindly gave me on Fictionalley. The facts in this aren't exactly perfect 'cause I don't have the second book to check the facts.

Anway, I hope you like it and check out my lj and Draco's Detour.

p.s.: Ramblings Readers: I actually WROTE the sixteenth chapter and then my computer detected a threat and shut itself down. BEFORE I saved. And I actually liked that chapter :sobs:.

Nia

People say that love is something that you can't avoid, that it hits you when you least expect it. Usually at the most embarrassing moment, it bowls you over, strikes you dead, and plunges you right down to the depths of all those icky sentimental people you loved to hate. Until you became one…

Draco is winning. He has to be winning. Draco. Always wins. Because he is a Malfoy.

Malfoy's do not get fucked over by Harry Potter. Although I don't think Harry Potter was that bad. Scrawny runt, no muscle, but with some good training he'd do. Anyway, it wasn't fair to beat up someone runtier than you. It's against the Code. And I always stick to the code, unless Draco overrules it. Because he's a Malfoy.

Only Malfoy's can overrule the code.

You have to understand, me and Crabbe. We're not naturally violent people. We don't like beating people up except to get a rush.

But it just happens. It's predestined, Goyles have served the Malfoy's since the beginning when Gregorian Malfoy saved Forth Goyle from the Fierce Dragon of Tine Alfa.

Same thing with Kinley Crabbe and the Giant Boar of Lorath. If Malfoy hadn't been there poof…no more Crabbes.

Crabbe and me. We're best mates. Draco's our leader. We follow him, and we follow the mark.

Ouch that has got to hurt. Took one right in the shoulder, if I'd been up there I'd just have rushed Potter and distracted him.

See, Potter's strength is in his agility, people get thrown of balance when a hunk of muscle comes running at them.

Screws 'em up. You know?

Of course I wouldn't be up there. We're kind of statues, we don't do fancy wand work. Although Crabbe's really good at woodwork, he carved a really good image of Ginny Weasley last year.

Draco threw it on the bonfire last New Year's. Crabbe cried, so I hit him over the head with the beer bottle so he wouldn't get in trouble.

It's a snake eat snake world down here you know.

Bloody 'ell! That damn Potter, he's talking to a snake. Next to me Blaise is cracking up, tears are rolling down his cheek. I thump him hard on the back and ask him if he's ok.

He says he's just freakintastic and cracks up even louder. Granger is staring at us disapprovingly, or it could just be the really tight t-shirt Blaise is wearing.

Think he took one of Theo's by accident.

'How come you're cracking up then?'

'Just the incredible spiffing irony of it' He collapses laughing it. Yep. Granger is definitely staring.

'What?'

Blaise is on something, I'm sure of it.

'Harry Potter is talking to a snake' He starts laughing again. I don't think that's cool-in fact it's downright scary.

I heard him-you know, Him can talk to snakes.

Is that why Blaise is cracking up?

Everybody is looking at Potter kind of strangely.

Then comes the sound from the yellow clad group 'Holy shite! It's Voldemort' It's said loud enough for me to hear.

But the people on stage don't, Potter is looking horrified and backing away from Justin Finchfletchley who's pointing accusingly at him.

Finally Potter just strides out of the room slightly baffled.

That Hufflepuff must be a moron. How can you confuse Harry Potter and Voldemort.

They're like yin and yong. That thing that Theo keeps raving on about: the 'Cosmic Balance' or something.

They're pairing us up. I can see Professor Snape standing up there:

"Granger and Bulstrode" Poor Millie.

"Zabini and Goyle" That's a pretty even pairing I guess. I've got force on my side and Blaise has got his wits.

If anything happens to Draco Blaise takes over, he's a pretty decent guy and at least he doesn't pluck his eyebrows.

"Come on Goyle" Blaise beckoning me.

We get into duel stance:

He quickly fires an incendio that I dodge and I try a trip jinx that misses him and hits Granger.

She blocks it and throws Blaise a dirty look for not being hit by it.

He ignores her and sends a quick jelly legs my way.

Finally I give up and begin spinning in a circle, with my wand pointed out, see it makes a shield and doesn't take the energy to hold it up.

I'm getting closer to Blaise now and then. I stop suddenly and lunge, and then.

I see.

Millie is beautiful, she's raising her wand and bringing it over her head in a fluid movement and her hair is curling down the nape of her neck and she symbolizes power.

Pure and untainted. Granger lets out a small shriek as the curse brushes past her, but my eyes are on Millie, she's stopped now and for a second she's utterly peaceful.

And then…I feel a cold icy blast, Blaise's wand is at my head.

Damn and blast. I lost.