warnings: AU like you wouldn't believe, and yaoiness too, (iruka x kakashi. perhaps some future pairings). and plotless again. plot and i are not on speaking terms. or ever were. somc OC, but they're mostly filler.
rating: PG-13 for pouncing, kissing, swearing

A/N: if you don't like AU fics where the characters are made to endure retarded high school shenanigans and such, then run far far away, cause that's all this is. Kakashi, Iruka, Genma and various others in high school. unfortunately i don't have first hand knowledge of what a japanese school or students are like, so consider this some sort of japanese-american amalgamation. cause it's AU, i've also made Iruka a few years younger than Kakashi rather than just one year. I wanted to, it's done, so there ;)

Chapter 01: Probabilities

In his 14th year, Iruka Umino never expected to find himself regretting that he hadn't worn matching socks. That's because normally he never gave it a second thought, and usually wore two of a pair anyways. And because normally he would have some type of shoe on. How often do you take off your shoes but not your socks in a school day? And how often it is that you find your mismatched sock condition is exposed thanks to an impromptu basement game of spin the bottle?

Despite how often it didn't happen, it did on this day in the life of high school freshman Iruka. Never mind the statistical improbability of it, it was here to stay. Moreover, Iruka was here to stay, for the time being, no matter how he wished it weren't so. Seated cross-legged on the floor in a ring of seniors and two of his classmates, Iruka tried to hide his one rainbow stripe socked foot and his one star socked foot under his knees. What had happened to his sensible solid color ones? Oh yes, they were buried somewhere in one of the moving boxes. So he was wearing a pastiche of someone's worst sock collecting years. But who in the family had such bad taste?

He was mulling this over when for the third time that night the horrid words "your turn" were flung his way. Iruka looked up, blushed and swallowed, laughing nervously. The new faces around him tittered and watched intently.

'Now, why am I here?' Iruka asked himself again. 'Right, I was supposed to be working on a project with Tomoko and Keita.' He looked at his two project partners, who had been friendly enough with him in class. They'd neglected to mention when they decided to meet after school at Tomoko's house that a party would be in progress. Tomoko's elder sister, Aya, a popular senior girl, was playing host. They'd promised to start working after one round too...

"Anytime now, kid" Aya said, smiling, trying her damndest to suppress a giggle. Iruka felt like wincing, felt like running up the stairs, felt like breaking that fucking bottle.

He pressed a shaky hand to the bottle in question and gave it a turn, palms sweating as he hoped for once that it would land on a girl. Hell, on anyone, anyone, ANYONE but...

The bottle slowed, it's lazy spin was positively agonizing. Then stopped.

...that...guy...

Dumbfounded, Iruka looked from the bottle neck, across the grey carpet, up over a male body to the expressionless countenance of 17 year old senior Kakashi Hatake. Just like the two times previous. Then Iruka looked crestfallen as the rest of the circle whooped and hollered. Keita, sitting by him, slapped him on the back. Kakashi looked nonplussed. Again.

Managing to smile weakly once more, Iruka spoke when the din of laughter died down somewhat. "Well, I guess I'll have to skip a turn again."

"Nope, not this time." singsonged Aya, a malicious gleam in her eye.

Iruka looked up with a surprised, then pleading stare. "But you let me skip the other two..."

Aya snorted. "That was just to be nice to the new kid. Plus, it's the 21st turn, this time you two gotta go in." She gestured to the closet door with the easy grace and gravity of a hangman pointing to the gallows.

Iruka blushed, sputtered, spazzed, pointed at Kakashi, looked imploringly at the group. "B-but, but he's a guy! and I'm not, um, you know...and, well, I mean - "

"Are you sure? The bottle lands on Kakashi every time you spin. You may as well give him a chance kid. You don't mind, do you K?" Genma sneered, earning a new round of laughter. Iruka wanted to take the toothpick from the senior's mouth and wipe that smirk off his face. Even Keita and Tomoko were laughing! Traitors!

Finally Kakashi spoke up, seemingly as amused at Iruka's discomfort as the others. "Let's just get this over with. Don't worry, I won't try anything on you if that's what you're afraid of." Holding both hands up in the air with palms open, he looked almost trustworthy. Or would have, if he wasn't waggling his fingers so. "And don't call me K" Kakashi said, giving Genma a warning glance. The blonde senior simply grinned.

Iruka frowned, annoyed now as well as embarrased. "I'm not afraid. I told you, its just...fine, whatever!"

The circle of teenagers snickered and laughed as a reluctant Iruka was pushed and pulled into the dark closet. Kakashi sauntered in after him.

Aya stood at the door, facing the couple. "You have 7 minutes. Use them well. Staaaaaaarting...now!". Iruka glowered as the door closed, leaving them in darkness. He could hear the bastards outside laughing and chatting it up as they resumed thier game.

Iruka sat to one side on some cardboard boxes, Kakashi stood at the other against the wall. It was quite dark, except for the slit of light coming in from the bottom of the door. Iruka had his hands stuffed in his pockets. He was mostly silent and shuffled waiting for his 7 minutes to be up.

He piped up cautiously. "Hmm, can you believe that bottle? It's gotta be-"

"-rigged?" finished Kakashi. "Yes, it is."

Iruka looked sharply at him, made an indignant noise.

"Don't take it so personally. It's just a little prank our class plays on a new kid every year." A soft chuckle emanated from Kakashi's direction. "You ought to pay more attention. It wasn't even the 21st turn you know."

Iruka's face scrunched up as he said huffily "Then you do this to someone every year? Sit in a closet with them for 7 minutes? That's pretty stupid."

A pause. "No. Before this year I never played. This time I volunteered." In the dark Iruka couldn't see the change of expression on Kakashi's face, but he could detect a change of tone in the discombobulated voice. Feeling distinctly ill at ease Iruka tried to change the subject.

"H-how was the bottle rigged? I'm gonna look at it after they finish playing this stupid game. I'm not even supposed to be down h-"

Before Iruka could finish he found that something was blocking his view of the strip of light he had so intently been staring at in the dark. He felt the gentle pressure of fingertips on his chin. Soon his head was tilted upwards so that he was looking into Kakashi's dimly lit face, into the one eye that wasn't covered by his white hair. Before he knew it Iruka was being kissed.

He felt the wall against the back of his head as Kakashi pressed into him. He felt Kakashi's fingers wrap around his wrists to hold them down by his sides. Muffled noises and scuffling sounds bounced about the small closet. In shock, Iruka could only manage to pull away for a nanosecond before Kakashi resumed the kiss. Iruka pushed back but was really no match in strength against the older boy. Only when Kakashi decided to move down to his throat did Iruka have a chance to breathe.

"What...what are you doing?" he asked, trying to free his wrists and wriggling. Kakashi just kept nibbling and nuzzling the boy about the collar, skillfully undid Iruka's top shirt button with his mouth. Iruka's efforts to free himself were proving futile, partly because Kakashi was bigger and stronger, but also because he was being very very distracting at the moment. Very. That's not to say Iruka wasn't being somewhat distracting as well.His panting and squirming only made Kakashi a bit rougher, lose a little more calm, caused his breath to come harsh and hot against Iruka's skin.

"S-stop..." Iruka whispered, his voice unsteady. Kakashi pulled back a little at hearing the request and looked into Iruka's face. Even in such faint light Kakashi could see he was flushed, dazed, drop dead cute, but what decided it was the slightly parted lips. Kakashi leaned forward and kissed Iruka again, gentler this time. Iruka squeezed his eyes shut, unprepared for the reaction his body was giving. Inner-Iruka yelled at him, told him 'This is practically a stranger, and not only that, a boy! You should bite him! Yes, that's it, bite him!' However, thanks to Inner-Inner-Iruka, he only ended up nipping at Kakashi's bottom lip, at which Kakashi just began kissing him harder. Inner-Iruka seethed. What is your problem? Inner-Inner-Iruka could only sigh dreamily.

Kakashi slid as arm around the younger boy's waist, untucking his shirt and drawing him closer in one sweeping move. Iruka's resistance was weakened still as he felt Kakashi's fingers brush up the skin of his back. He felt like he could barely get a breathe in, even when they weren't kissing. Kakashi had undone most of his buttons, was on his knees between Iruka's legs, kissing Iruka's chest. The hands that gripped Kakashi about the shoulders most definitely were not pushing him away. Iruka arched without meaning to, gasping as a tongue flicked against his nipple. Before Kakashi could go any further there was a loud bang on the door.

"Times up!" came Genma's voice. The sound of the turning doorknob broke Kakashi's little spell. Iruka bolted upright and pushed the senior aside, slamming his palms against the door.

"Umumumum!..." oh my god oh my god oh my- "Oh, uh, oh no! The door, uh, the door, um, it's stuck! Yes, very stuck!" shouted Iruka, holding the knob with one hand and turning to look at Kakashi over his shoulder. 'Help!' his wide brown eyes fairly screamed.

"Stuck?...Hey, hand me those pliers, or that hammer." barked Aya from the other side. Iruka could see shadows gathering at the bottom of the door. Clinking sound ensued as Aya and some students fished through a toolbox.

Iruka clenched his teeth. "Hold the door so I can fix my shirt!" he hissed to Kakashi. This was all his fault anyways!

Kakashi smiled and came up behind Iruka, wrapping his arms around the smaller boy's waist.

Iruka sucked in a breath as warm fingers splayed over his stomach. "No! We can't-" but stopped when he noticed Kakashi was doing his buttons up for him. The doorknob rattled again, making Iruka jump. Kakashi tucked Iruka's shirt in, coming dangerously close to brushing him in some sensitive areas. This also made Iruka jump. He gritted his teeth, his palm still flat against the door that threatened to pop open, his other hand clamped in a deathgrip over the doorknob.

"All finished" Kakashi said silkily against Iruka's ear, kissing the upper curve and then stepping back. At that Iruka let the door burst in.

Iruka and Kakashi stood in the doorway, blinking as thier eyes readjusted to the light. Kakashi was the picture of cool and composure, as per usual. Iruka was the picture of something else altogether. Perhaps a car-wreck victim or a rodeo bull rider. This was because while in the dark it seemed that Kakashi had buttoned his shirt and tucked it in all nice and neat, in the light it was plain to see that nice and neat hadn't even made an appearance, and snickered at Iruka's shirt from whereever it was that they were vacationing. Plus some stray strands of hair were standing on end.

Teenagers are cruel. They laughed. (Though some wondered just what it was Kakashi had done to the lad...this was just supposed to be a prank after all...) Iruka looked down at his misbuttoned, rumpled shirt and decided not to stick around. Ignoring the scattered apologies (they didn't sound too sincere anyway, what with all the laughing) and calls for him to sit back down, Iruka grabbed his things and ran up the stairs. Once outside in the cool cover of falling twilight, he began readjusting the buttons on his shirt while walking home. Really, two of them are out of place. Did Kakashi do that on purpose? His face burned.

It had been his first day of school and already he wanted to move again. Of course, the probability of that happening was less than nil. Iruka stomped off unhappily into the sunset.

tbc-

ultra-anal A/N: why the 21st turn? because i was trying to combine spin the bottle with 7 minutes in heaven, so 21 being a multiple of 7, seemed to make sense...originally i had put that it was the 7th turn, but then since iruka had already gone twice, the 7th turn would have come up too early in the game...um...yeah...like i said, anal...