General disclaimers apply.
Chapter 2:
Cat: Who is that?
Zach: It looks like a person.
Ariel: No, dude! It's a llama!
James: No, it's an ostrich!
David: Ostriches don't have noses, man.
James: Well if you're the smart one, what the fuck is it?
Cat hung her head and let out a long exhale...
Cat: There's skin on that nose, peoples, not fur or a beak.
Ariel: Maybe it's Miss Hermy herself?
Zach: Who the fuck is Hermy?
Ariel and Cat look at Zach as though he had fallen from Mars.
Ariel: Hermy or 'Mione is short for Hermione!
Zach: Ohhh... Nobody tells me anything!
Cat rolled her eyes at that and looked back at the figure.
Cat: Hey...
Ariel: What are you looking at?
Ariel followed Cat's gaze. The figure had gotten very close, and was coming into the light of a nearby torch. This person looked very familiar...
Evil Unknown Person: What do you think you are doing outside the castle?
The figure then walked briskly towards us until the features on his face were made visible.
Ariel: It's your cousin's evil potion's teacher!
Cat: Oh my goddess... he thinks we're skipping!
Zach: Potions?
James: Evil?
David: I'm confused!
SNAPE: (pulls out wand) I don't recognize you! Tell me your names, houses, and why aren't you in uniform?
Cat: Um, er, ... we're Hermione Granger's relatives and friends...sir...
SNAPE: Indeed,( glances around suspiciously and starts walkin swiftly) This way... NOW.
They glanced around at each other, nodded, then quietly followed Snape. He took them to the stone gargoyle that was the headmaster's office, not that they would know this.
SNAPE: White chocolate.
Kids: What?
The stone gargoyle lept out of the way to reveal a spiral staircase.
Kids: Ooooooooooh!
SNAPE: (glares) Follow me...(muttering-- ) wretched midgets!
James: What was that, mother sweetness?
SNAPE: None of your business, munchkin!
Dumbledore: Professor?
SNAPE: Headmaster Dumbledore. I found these things in the field.
At the mention of being called "things", Ariel and Cat bristled visibly.
Dumbledore: They appear to be more of teenagers than "things", Professor Snape.
SNAPE: Yes, sir. All the same, but still, they were where they shouldn't be-
Dumbledore: Which is?
SNAPE:( a little shocked at the headmaster's interruption) in... in the field- ...sir.
Dumbledore: (he smiled) I'll take care of them. You may go now, professor.
Ariel and James were grinning like the insane Chesire cat...They were at Hogwarts! Cat, David, and Zach were thinking along the same lines.
#Ohmigod! Orgy! Oh! Magical Orgies!# Zach was thinking while bouncing on the balls of his feet.
Dumbledore(Cont'd): Well, now it is time for you sorting ceremony, I suppose. Young man,(he looked over at David) behind you, you will find a three- legged stool and a hat, if you please?
David nodded and placed the stool at the center of the circle that, by instinct, had formed, with the hat on top. Ariel and James stared stupidly at the stool.
James: Whaddat?
Zach: Are we all supposed to fit on that stool? I don't mind.
Ariel smacked him on the back of his head.
Dumbledore's eyes twinkled as he said: Dear boy, I am sorry you will not get to do that, Please sit down.
Zach: "Awww..." He hung his head for dramatic effect and reluctantly sat down as Dumbledore placed the hat on his head.
HAT: Hmmm...let's take a look...oh... my goodness gracious...how...what! stutters ok...SLYTHERIN!
Zach: Erm... is that good?
Dumbledore: Why, yes of course it's good! ALL of the houses are good. twinkle, twinkle
Dumledore: Now Miss Shadowfax(Cat), please sit down.
Cat ran over excitedly, sat on the stool, and jammed the hat on her head, very much like Hermione when she got sorted.
HAT: Ahhh...finally a Granger relative...definitely has the brains ...a darker side... clever... a reader...RAVENCLAW!
Cat: Yay! I'm blue and SILVER!
Dumbledore: (smiling) Congratulations! Welcome to Hogwarts! Now- James, I believe, is it?- your turn.
James walked nervously up to the stool and placed the hat on his head.
HAT: Hmmm... good heart.. empty head...not surprising seeing as your best friend is a new Slytherin...GRYFFINDOR!
At this Ariel and Cat exchanged looks. A Slyth and a Gryff: Best friends? It was unheard of! Oh well,... We're all friends.
Dumbledore: Ah. This should be refreshing! Welcome! Now, Miss Black(Ariel), It is your turn to be sorted.
HAT: A Black? Interesting. Hmm... dark... not so innocent... hmm... Yes! SLYTHERIN!
Ariel: Yay! GREEN! does Egyptian walk
Dumbledore: That's two! That's four galleons right there!
David: What?
Dumbledore: Your turn Davey- boy! Sit down on the stool, Mr. Hotazel (hehehe... say that one slowly! lol)
David: Okay.
HAT: Hotazel ... hehe... anyway... dirty mind... mygoodness, KINDERGARTEN!... smart... happy... RAVENCLAW!
David: Yea! I'm S- M- R- A- T, smart!
All laugh-
Dumbledore(DB): So, alas, we have two new Slytherins, two new ravenclaws, and a new Gryffindor! It is getting late, so off to your common rooms!
Your fellow house members have already been notified of your arrival..
Ariel: Sir, where are our common rooms?
DB: Mr. Filch will show you.
At this, Filch walked out of the shadows and all the kids jumped.
#Aah! Save us!#
Filch glared at them: Follow me.