PART FIVE
When it was pitch dark at the Duke Farm, it generally meant everyone was asleep. The chickens vanished into the barn, and the cow spent equal times eating and sleeping. Rosco watched the last light go out and saw an opportunity to sneak in and take the girl back. Duke or no Duke, she was going to come along peaceably. Leaving Flash to watch his patrol car, he sneaked toward the farmhouse using stealth methods he had learned in the movies.
"It's so quiet here." Daisy Mae Duke shared her bed with her would-be aunt. "How do you stand it?"
"You never lived on a farm before?" Daisy's voice echoed out of the dark by her side.
"Never." The younger lady answered. "My mom had a little house down from the Sheriff's office. We always heard traffic from the nearby highway, but here, all this silence is driving me nuts."
"You get used to it." Daisy settled back into her pillow. Maybe too used to the silence, she thought she'd heard a noise that shouldn't have belonged. Even with the squirrels and possums loose on the property, nothing should be stirring outside the house. A vague shadow had even past over her window from outside the farmhouse.
"I'm going for some milk." Daisy lied to excuse herself. "You want some?"
"I'm okay." The young girl started scratching her leg around her cast. It felt like it had ants going through it. Older Daisy pulled on her robe and stood in the darkness of the hall outside of the room. The shadows of her cousins were obvious because they both slept shirtless and their brawny shoulders were apparent in shadow; her Uncle Jesse always wore a long nightshirt.
"You heard it too." Jesse spoke.
"Someone's on the property." Bo realized. "I'll give you one guess."
"Rosco." Luke answered. "Boss must want Daisy Mae back." From the back kitchen, the sounds of someone rapping on the back door roused up the small farmhouse. A solitary light came on in the kitchen and Jesse Duke maneuvered past the kitchen table to open the back door. From out of the darkness, Sheriff Rosco Coltrane emerged playing the role of sheriff.
"All right, Dukes," He held up his gun as if it were a mere toy. "Freeze! You're under arrest!" He started giggling under his breath.
"For what?" Jesse could intimidate the simple-minded lawman by just standing up to him.
"Kidnapping!" Rosco revealed. "I know you're holding that girl here against her will."
"Kidnapping?" Jesse responded in disbelief. "Rosco, that darn hat of yours is pulled down so tight it's cut off the blood to your brain. We Dukes have never held anyone anywhere against their will! That young lady is here on her own and can go anytime she wishes."
"Oh," Rosco groaned at that obstacle. "Well, in that case, I'm arresting you for abduction!"
"What's the difference?" Luke looked at Bo snickering at this odd face off and then back to Rosco. The question threw Rosco off a bit as he tried to think up an answer.
"Plenty, I mean…." He looked at Jesse and realized he preferred chasing the boys for speeding rather than facing off against Uncle Jesse. "Uh, come on, Uncle Jesse, I know you're holding that girl and well, Boss wants her back. He got some sort of extradition with that Mayberry Sheriff to come pick her up, and, well, I'd have to arrest you all for holding her."
"Rosco, you so call as look at that girl and I'll…"
"I'll go…" Daisy Mae cut off Uncle Jesse and came out hobbling on a single crutch from behind Daisy. Dressed in cut-off jeans and a t-shirt, she braced herself on her one good leg as her Aunt Daisy turned to her.
"No, girl, we protect our own here." Daisy replied.
"No, I don't want to get ya'll in trouble here." The young girl forced her way into the kitchen. "I'll go," She looked to Rosco. "If you don't arrest any of them for letting me stay here."
"Well," Rosco mustered a thought and realized that Boss just wanted the girl for the reward. He didn't say anything about him having to arrest the Dukes and quite frankly, he didn't want the extra trouble. "At least one of you here is smart. Head on out to that there patrol car!" He grinned ear to ear at how simple and easy this was going. Daisy looked to her cousins and Uncle Jesse and started begging them to help her young niece.
Balladeer – "That a girl's a bit of something, ain't she? And if you think the Dukes are going to let her get away from them, where have you been? This is Hazzard, ain't it? You know Luke would come up with a plan to free her. Early the next morning, the boys had their plan into effect."
Parking the General Lee before the courthouse, Luke pulled himself out of the windows of the car behind Bo and hurried for the bars on the windows under the courthouse. One cell was empty, but the blonde beauty sat sitting on the cot in the next cell. She looked to see if someone was watching then
"I got to know one thing." Luke looked at her flawless features through the bars. "Are you in any trouble back home?"
"Well…" Young Daisy rolled her eyes and twisted her hair around the end of her finger.
"She's my brother's kid alright." Luke looked to Bo ready to hook the chains to the back of the General Lee to bust her out of the jail. The chiming and rattling of the myriad rings attracted the ears of someone else discovering the would-be escape.
"Bo and Luke Duke!" Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane rushed to grab his pistol. "Freeze!"
"Heh…" Bo grinned harmlessly and tossed the chain. "Catch, Rosco!" The would-be lawman fell to his feet trying to hold the long chains. Before him, the boys dashed back for the General Lee. Rosco hurried ready for another race with the boys while behind him Daisy Duke hastened into the courthouse to get Daisy Mae.
Balladeer – "Now, ain't that slick? While the boys distract Rosco, Daisy rushes in to get Daisy Mae. I wish I had a family like that."
"Daisy?" Daisy Mae braced on her good leg and held on to the bars. "What's going on?"
"We're getting you out of here, honey." Daisy picked up the keys to the cell and unlocked the cell holding her niece. "Come on, my jeep's over at Cooter's." She pulled open the cell door and turned to the way out, but Deputy Enos Strate stood barring the way.
"Daisy," His heart wasn't into arresting her. "I wish you hadn't gone ahead and done that."
"Enos," Daisy answered sweet and honeyed. "You could let us go if you wished."
"I wish I could, Daisy." Enos replied stepping forward. He pulled out his revolver, but Daisy kicked it out of his hand. Grabbing Enos with a fond touch, she pulled him into the cell and slammed the door on the both of them.
"Go, girl, go!" Daisy yelled for her niece to run as well as she could on one foot. Next to her, Enos scrambled to his feet and watched the young girl hastening up out of the basement cellblock. Testing the locked doors, he looked to Daisy with the keys and then watched her dropping them down the front of her shirt.
"Now, why'd you go and do that?" He scowled upset and confused at the predicament. "What am I going to do?"
"I'm sure you could think of something." She grinned and took his arm to break him out of his shy shell.
Outside the courthouse, Daisy Mae Duke hurried as best as she could on her two crutches and looked to Cooter's Garage across the street. As she looked up, she recognized a familiar blue Ford Tempo stop at the corner between her and the garage. She recognized the figure in the cap behind the wheel and paused from the sight of his traveling companion coming after her.
Balladeer – "I was wondering when those boys would arrive."
"What are you doing here!" She looked at the sight of him. He was her stepfather, and she didn't care for him at all.
"Young lady," Her stepfather stood before her pointing his finger at her. "I promised your mother on her death bed to look after you, and quite frankly, you ain't making it easy. Now, I don't care how much trouble you're in this time, but you are coming home!"
"I ain't going any where!" She tried to hit him with her crutch, but her stepfather knocked it away and that lifted her up off her feet. Opening the back of the car with one hand, he tossed Daisy Mae in with a frustrated but careful gesture, slammed the door on her and slid back into the front seat.
"Johnny Paul," His driver started to reason with him. "I don't think this is the way to handle this."
"Let's just head home." His companion grumbled a bit upset as the car rolled past J.D. Hogg in his white open top Cadillac. Hogg's cigar fell from his lip watching his pretty blonde potential reward heading away from him. Leaning over the front seat, he grabbed the speak box off his CB Radio and yelled into it.
"Rosco," He screamed. "Where are you!"
"Chasing the Duke Boys down Highway 36 toward Treetop Lane." Rosco answered back as Flash's ears flapped in the breeze. "They just tried to bust the girl out!"
"Correction!" Hogg hung on as his driver spun his limo around to chase after the Tempo. "She did bust out, and is now heading south on Highway 16 with two strange men. If you don't get her back, I'll bust you down to night watchman at the old Hazzard Ice House!"
"But it's cold in there!" Rosco spun his patrol car round to speed into the other direction. Bo and Luke looked back at him abandoned their chase and acknowledged the chatter they were overhearing from their radio.
"Uncle Jesse," Luke called on the radio. "Did you hear that?"
"I heard that." Jesse started heading south toward Highway 36. "Who do you suppose got her!"
"I have no idea, but I'd sure like to find out!" Luke held on as Bo spun the General lee around to catch up from behind Rosco in his patrol car. On Shelby Road, Cooter began driving back from Crockett County and watched Uncle Jesse speed past him. Not one to miss a good chase, he turned away from Hazzard and joined them on the race to the road for Chickasaw County. Back at the courthouse, Daisy reached her jeep as Enos started up his patrol car.
Balladeer – "What do you know, he got the key back after all. Now let me get this straight, we got sweet Daisy Mae in the first car shooting toward the highway in Sweetwater up to Mayberry…."
"Let me out of this car!" Daisy Mae kicked and screamed like a spoiled child as her stepfather rolled his eyes. " I hate you, I hate this car, I hate Mayberry and I hate my whole life!"
"Shut up!" Her stepfather yelled at her then tried to calm himself down. "I am really tempted to dump her at the side of the road!"
"Are we being chased by a white limo?" His driverin the dark blue baseball caplooked back to Boss Hogg and Sheriff Coltrane in the patrol car behind throughthe rear view mirror.
Balladeer – "…Followed up by Rosco, the General Lee coming up along the outside and coming into the lead, and then Uncle Jesse in the pick-up, Cooter in the tow-truck and then Enos and Daisy at the end. You know, one of these days, they all ought to get a parade permit."
"Pull over!" Bo smacked the Tempo with the General Lee.
"What kind of crazy town is this!" The other driver screamed back and saw a tree racing toward his grillwork. Turning the wrong way, he next saw air and then the car tilting toward open water below him. Gritting his teeth and closing his eyes, he heard screams and then felt a large crash as he hit hard earth under soft water rushing into the car. Up above him, the General Lee stopped quickly as Boss Hogg in his white limo passed him for a quick start near him only to be smashed into by Rosco in the patrol car. Reeling from the impact, Rosco looked round for his best friend.
"What a horrendous crash…" He saw Flash wrapped in the seat belt. "Aw, good girl…."
Racing down from the squealing of brake oil and brake pads, Bo and Luke opened up the flooded car in the two feet of water and pulled out the two kidnappers. From the back seat, a head of blonde hair from a shapely female body stretched across the back seat looked out gratefully and beamed her lucky-to-be-alive grin.
"You boys got a lot of explaining to do!" Bo pulled Daisy Mae's stepfather from the car out of the car ready to fight him, but the weary figure wasn't in a mood to fight. He just turned to the car.
"My car!" He wept for it. "My first car!"
"Lucky thing I'm here." Cooter grinned down into the water gully. "You boys need a tow truck?" He started laughing.
"You boys are in a lot of trouble!" Boss Hogg yelled at the strangers in the flooded car. "That young lady is under my custody. Rosco, arrest everyone! We'll clean up the mess later!"
"I ain't going back to Mayberry!" Daisy Mae screamed as Luke carried her to safety. "I hate it there. Uncle Jesse, I want to live with you at the farm. There's nothing to do back in Mayberry. My mom's gone and I don't…"
"Daisy," Her stepfather tried to be stern. "You've been skipping school since your mother died. I promised your mother I'd take care of you."
"Uncle Jesse…" Daisy Mae looked to the white-haired old man she had grown to love and respect.
"Now you listen here, young lady." Jesse looked at her. "I never been to this here Mayberry, but a town's a town, and I'm sure it's a very nice place if you'd just give it a chance. It seems to me that you're running away because you lost your mama, but you got to go home, so why don't you go home, only till you finish your schooling, and then, if you still want to, I'll be glad to have you come back."
"Well, this is all fine and good," Boss Hogg chewed on his cigar as he spoke. "But that young lady is under my custody until Sheriff Taylor comes to get her and give me my reward!"
"Mister…" The figure in the cap splashed and sloshed in the water up to his knees. "I don't recall my paw saying anything about no reward."
"And just who is your paw!" Hogg yelled back.
"Sheriff Taylor." The young man pulled off his cap to reveal a head full of red hair. "I'm his son, Opie Taylor."
Realizing he had been gypped out of an imaginary reward that had never existed, Boss Hogg pulled off his hat and began stomping it. Doing so caused him to sip into and land in the gully and splashed with mud. Even with Rosco coming to help him back up, he wasn't happy. He already had that fictional reward spent.
Balladeer – "And that's the story of the Duke cousin from over the state line. Other-Daisy returned home as promised and went back to school and just to remind her of what she had to look forward to, the family even came to visit her once in a while. Strange thing is, Uncle Jesse kept reminding Sheriff Taylor of another mountain man from his part of the woods."
"Mr. Duke…" Andy Taylor looked the white-haired patriarch over. "You look sort of familiar. You ever have been to Mayberry before."
"I ain't been this far north before in my life." Jesse answered solemnly. He heard the door to the courthouse opening and closing and looked over expecting to see Bo and Luke. Instead of his boys, he saw a skinny deputy sheriff drenched down to his uniform and wringing out his cap. Daisy looked away to conceal her smirking grin while younger Daisy tried to understand it.
"Barney, what happened to you!" Andy asked with loud concern.
"I caught this big orange car speeding down past Goober's gas station and I landed with the patrol car in Myers Lake!" He shuffled a bit defeated and embarrassingly waved his skinny arms. "All I saw was taillights and exhaust!"
Sheriff Taylor turned to Jesse Duke.
"Mister Duke," Andy looked up with a bit of small town wisdom. "You ought to tell those boys to slow down a might. They're going to get themselves hurt some day."
"From your lips to God's ears." Jesse answered back.
Balladeer – "You all come back, you hear."
END