Tabessa: So as you'd expect, the time agents came to my area of the city in search of recruitments capable of time travel.
Carl (tiredly): Attention fading...
Tabessa: After achieving one of the highest scores, the time agents then forwarded their recommendation to the committee, on account of me being so awesome, y'see?
Carl: Going once..
Tabessa: I mean, my capability in robotic combat, and my weight being so affordable to limit wasteful spending, made me a prime candidate. Sure ninty percent of the score is based on weight, but they all saw I had potential.
Carl: Going twice...
Tabessa: One of the first things I did after finding out I was chosen was riddle my rivals houses with hidden bombs. They were always such jerks to me in grade school, I was disappointed that they all survived but at least one of them got, like, a thousand stitches.
(Carl throws his arms up in disgusted frustration.)
Carl: Okay, this scene is getting stupid, how can anyone even think that this is funny? (He begins to leave.) I'm gone.
Tabessa (vain!): 'Course I never got caught because it was all blamed on the robots. They are good for some things, like being a scapegoat to blame on for the crimes you committed against your fellow man. Saved me from jail twice!
(Tabessa finally notices that she is talking to herself. She runs over to Carl to catch up with him.)
Tabessa (sounding very hurt): Hey, how come you left? Where are you going? I'm not done yet.
Carl (he sighs): Look, I'm not going to lie to you, you're a very boring person. I really don't care about the details of your dull yet dangerous life anymore. A person can only stay polite for so long, y'know?
(Carl turns away from her. A menacing click is heard as Tabessa points her gun at the back of Carl's neck. His eyes shrink in perfect fear as she jabs it to make contact with his skin.)
Tabessa (coldly): Hey, you brat. This is my origin story I'm trying to educate you with, so you're going to listen, got it?
Carl (in a croaking whisper): ..Yeah.
(Something catches Carl's eyes, he looks toward the house and can make out Libby and Sheen staring through a window from inside Tabessa's house, both of them gaping in dread as they witness Tabessa putting a gun to his head. Carl quickly turns toward Tabessa, trying to sheild her view of the house, acting as casual as possible.)
Carl: Well, um, how about you continue your fascinating story? (He points to a different table.) Like, over there?
(Tabessa reholsters her weapon and crosses her arms in satisfaction.)
Tabessa: That's more like it.
(They approach the table, covered in empty platters. She swats one of them in a blaze of anger.)
Tabessa (mad): All of you guys are pigs! No one had the courtesy to put out the rest of the food? (She bats another empty platter.) GOD!
A Boy's Voice: Maybe we'll start being polite once you start acting like a civilized human being, spaz!
Tabessa (yelling to her right): Sleep with one eye open, Tafaratom! (She turns to Carl.) Your first task as my apprentice is to abduct the leftover sandwiches from behind the house and bring them to me so I may selfishly eat them in one sitting. They are in a red and white cooler. You have exactly five minutes.
Carl: Ah, okay..
(The camera follows Carl as he detours through some scrap metal and cardboard boxes, he turns a corner to enter an atrocious looking backyard full of rusting parts and dying weeds. He spots the cooler on a slab of broken concrete, he opens it to see a plate of sandwiches and a tray full of various cheeses.)
Carl (in low anger): Well, my first task as a sullen youth will be to spit in each one of your precious sandwiches...
Jimmy's Voice: Hang in there Carl, we'll get out of here eventually.
(Carl gives an "ACK!" of surprise. He looks around in every direction.)
Carl: Jimmy? (He adjusts his goggles.) Am I hearing voices?
Cindy's Voice: Nah, we're here. Just in cloak mode.
(Jimmy, Cindy and Goddard materialize before him.)
Carl (relived): Oh man, thank goodness you guys are here!
Jimmy: I take Sheen and Libby are still in the house?
Carl (he nods): I don't know what to do. (He lifts the plate of sandwiches) If I don't get back out there soon, boring future girl will probably freak out.
Cindy: Yeah, we saw that, it's like she's stricken with two scoops of crazy. I'm surprised you didn't wet yourself.
(Jimmy eyes the plate of sandwiches, then to the cheese tray still in the cooler. He smiles as an idea comes to him.)
Jimmy: I think I have Phase 1 of our plan figured out. (He puts his hands out to Carl.) Sandwiches, stat!
(CUE Rotating Atom)
(CUT TO INT Shot - Inside Tabessa's Home. Libby paces uneasily as Sheen taps the side of his head with his hand in an odd gesture of thought.)
Libby: That future girl is insane! She nearly shot Carl!
Sheen: Yeah, when's the rescue mission going to get started so we can all leave this depressing future?
Libby: I don't know. I was hoping Goddard at least showing up. Maybe something went wrong, he got ambushed by too many robots, or the Chrono-Arch is malfunctioning back in the present.
Sheen (in quiet ire): Stupid intervals of dramatic tension, can't they leave us alone for a day? (He shouts to the ceiling.) Is that too much to ask! Does our perilous predicament entertain your twisted mind, oh spinner of fortune! Are we mere marionettes in this story you call reality!
Libby: Sheen calm down...
Sheen (he continues to rant): Well we'll fight to cut ourselves from your imprisoning strings! Our fates are not controlled, we are free to make our own decisions!
Libby (weirded out): Who're you even talking to?
(Sheen grabs Libby's arm as they walk through a hallway to enter another level of the house.)
Sheen: Are you sure the front door is the only way out of the house?
Libby: Yeah, I searched everywhere. Why?
Sheen: With a future run by sadistic killer robots, each house of this time period must be equipped with a secret door to escape should the home ever fall under a surprise attack. (He points to some hanging photos and paintings.) One of those may be hiding a switch or some sort of lever.
(Sheen begins to look under the pictures and portraits. Nothing so far. He approaches a framed "prayer" (Bless This Time Of Unmerciful Despotism) crocheted in pink thread. As he lifts it to look under it, a part of the wall materializes to show the junky weed ridden backyard.)
Sheen: Yes! I was right!
(Libby stares in stupefied awe, her mouth open in comical wonder. She points to the secret entrance as she stares at Sheen.)
Libby: How..did you..?
Sheen: My rational mind presented me with the facts and evidence of this future. The surroundings and present state of government was all I needed to hypothesize such an assumption.
(Libby gives him a disbelieving look. He looks sheepishly at the floor.)
Sheen (he gives in): Okay, I saw it on episode 497 of Ultra Lord when he was busting out of the laser mansion in the badger run serfdom of Orlando.
Libby: Thank you. (Her face softens.) All that matters is that we have a way out; no matter how crazy and beyond belief it is.
(They leave the house and enter the unkempt yard.)
(CUT To Tabessa's Party - She finishes off a final bite of a sandwich. Carl stares off into space with bored apathy.)
Tabessa: Damn, those were good sandwiches. Nice job lackey.
Carl (insulted): What? I'm not your lackey!
Tabessa (she grins happily): Of course you are! Lackeys do menial tasks, so their mercenary masters can live idle, relaxing lives crammed full of shooting stuff and blowing things up, it's the law of nature.
Carl: Guess that includes listening to your stupid stories, too, right?
Tabessa (in one ear, out the other!): Exactly! (She grabs Carl's hand affectionately.) And if you do a good job, maybe you'll get to go out with me.
Carl (disgusted): Um, yeah, I'm thinking no.
(Carl yanks his hand out of her grip, only to have it regrasped.)
Tabessa (she titters): Aw, I like modest boys.
Carl (annoyed): Stop touching me!
Unseen Boy's Voice (yelling): Holy Christmas! Robot in the area!
(Tabessa's guests murmur and squeal with fear as they see a massively huge robot approaching the get-together. We recognize the robot as Robo Fiend, from the Ultra Lord Show.)
Robo Fiend (bellowing): Tremble before me pitiful things! For I am Robo Fiend! Mighty reaper of your weak flesh!
(A wild grin appears on Tabessa's face, she releases Carl and grabs her gun from her boot and strides toward Robo Fiend. Carl sees his chance and takes off toward the house.)
Tabessa (gung-ho): Ho-Ho-boy! Must be a new model, an' I get to be the first to trash it!
(A loud gurgling is heard. She stops, clenching her teeth in discomfort.)
Tabessa (she heaves slightly): Yikes, maybe I ate too fast.
Sheen (loud & off camera): AHH! Robo Fiend's in this stupid future, too!
(Tabessa whips around to see Sheen and Libby, her hand clamped over Sheen's mouth, crouching near the side of her house.)
Tabessa: Hey! You let my past-ling out!
(The hulking Robo Fiend opens its mouth and releases a green mist. Most of Tabessa's guests begin to frantically run away. Tabessa shields her face from the mystery fumes. Carl runs toward Sheen and Libby.)
Carl: Come on! It's just a hologram!
Libby: What?
Carl: Yeah, don't worry, it's not real. Jimmy's controlling it.
Sheen: It seems pretty real to me!
Libby: Let's just get moving!
(The three kids take off toward the direction of Robo-Fiend. Tabessa watches in confusion at the robot's obliviousness to the three open "targets".)
Tabessa: How in the..?
(A menacing gurgle is heard. She clamps a hand over her mouth quickly.)
Tabessa (muffled): Oh God...
(A sick burble erupts from her mouth in loud disgusting volume.)
Tabessa: Cheese... there was cheese.. in those sandwiches..
(She dry heaves as she struggles to keep the food down. Tabessa runs frantically behind a pile of twisted scrap metal. Loud retching and sick splashing noises are heard as she throws up. The Blue Haired and Redhead future girls from earlier watch her in disgust while partaking in some Purple Flurp.)
Redhead Future Girl: You are like the worst mercenary ever. Seriously.
(CUT To Jimmy, Cindy and Goddard at a street corner, they look on to see Sheen, Libby and Carl running toward them. Jimmy fiddles with his watch, initiating his digital link to open Time Travel Mode.)
Sheen: Jimmy! Oh man, quick, get us out of this place.
Jimmy: No problem!
(Jimmy accesses Time Travel on his watch. A blinking 67 pops up coupled with a timer of 31:56.)
Jimmy: Uh-oh..
Cindy: What's wrong? Why isn't it working?
Jimmy (eep..): Oh no, the Chrono-Arch is only receiving half the capacity of electricity. The lab must be suffering a brownout.
Carl: Brownout?
Jimmy: Kinda like a step below a blackout, a reduction of electrical current normally caused by an overuse in energy consumption. (He shakes his head in confusion.) But the Chrono-Arch isn't that much of an energy eater, what could be sucking all the power?
(CUT Back to Present Retroville - EXT Shot - Jimmy's club house is plugged full of multiple extension cords. The camera follows the yards of cord into Jimmy's living room. Hugh has hooked up a huge 70 inch TV and a big mother of a stereo and subwoofer to a game console. Loud awesome sounding video game music blares out as he frantically presses buttons on a controller. He is on the final battle of Super Duck Dueling III. A toaster oven, baking a mini-pie, is close to his feet. Which are soaking in a fancy ICE/HOT Foot Spa thingy.)
Hugh Neutron (yelling determinedly): You're going down Gouki Canard!
Booming Video Game Voice: No Mercy... FIGHT!
Hugh Neutron: Bring it!
(CUT Back to the Future with Jimmy and co.)
Jimmy: With a decrease in power, the portal won't launch for another half hour.
Sheen (miffed): Great, just enough time for stupid future girl to hunt us down like dogs.
Carl (ditto): Yeah, what a way to drop more unwanted suspense!
Jimmy: Relax guys, I think we have gotten through the worst of this situation. Half an hour won't kill us.
(CUT back to Tabessa's "party". The hulking Robo Fiend suddenly fades away in a blink. The remaining guests murmur with confusion at the unusualness. Blue Haired Future Girl guzzles another can of Flurp as she watches while Redhead Future Girl stretches her arms tiredly.)
Blue Haired Future Girl: Huh, hologram. I shoulda' known.
(She releases a loud obnoxious belch. The girls laugh at the unladylike behavior. Tabessa stumbles into view, wiping her mouth furiously as she views the mess of the situation.)
Tabessa (fuming): Those jerks, how dare they ruin my party and my hopes of reaching first base!
Redhead Future Girl (sarcastic): Oh, poor you.
Tabessa (she shakes an angry fist): They took my past-ling too!
Blue Haired Future Girl: Oh, so the rumors were true. Did you know that Damacus has issued a sanction against you for abducting a person from the past?
Redhead Future Girl: Heh, yer' gonna get it.
Tabessa (haughtily): As if! They'll never find me.
Blue Haired Future Girl (she points past her): Oh, then I guess that bounty hunter coming this way is looking for some other wanted fugitive, then, eh?
(Tabessa turns to see a large burly man approaching her direction. Donned in heavy silver armor, a huge mongoose style assault rifle strapped to his back.)
Tabessa: Oh hell..
Redhead Future Girl (she snickers): You are so going down.
Tabessa (desperate): I need a decoy! Quick, one of you two pretend to be me. I have to pursue those kids who foiled me!
Blue Haired Future Girl (dryly): Oh, pfft, yeah, sure. We're just the spitting image of you. (She crosses her eyes and lowers her voice slightly.) Duh, hi, lookit me! I'm Tabessa, I'm a big stupid halfwit that thinks she's so frickin' cool! Dur!
(The girls laugh loudly. Tabessa curls her lip in rage.)
Tabessa: Nevermind! I forgot that you two are worthless imbeciles!
(The silver armored man approaches her. He shows Tabessa a glossy sheet of paper. Looks all-important an' stuff.)
Bounty Hunter: Tabessa Redunda, I am here to escort you to the Committee's Court. Make it easy for yourself and submit willingly.
Tabessa (her eyes closed in defeat): I guess there's no choice. I may as well face my punishment with dignity.
(The Bounty Hunter reaches to grab her arm. Tabessa suddenly executes a lightning fast uppercut to the man's face. He collapses with a gasping yelp onto his side, wheezing urgently for air. Tabessa leaps over him gracefully and proceeds to run full speed ahead to her new mission of vengeance. The other future girls watch this in mild amazement.)
Redhead Future Girl (unimpressed): ..She says, while running away like a coward.
Blue Haired Future Girl (she grins): Hey, look on the bright side. (She gestures to Tabessa's house with her thumb.) Free house.
Bounty Hunter (in a raspy voice): Agony..
(CUE Rotating Atom.)