(A/N: Hey everybody, I just thought a humorous fic is something I need to write to get me out of my dark and depressing mood… so I want to know what everyone thinks so please review! )
Previously in Chapter 1…"It's… it's not you Darien… It's just what I am… I'm sorry, I hope you won't hate me forever or anything…" she cried before opening the car door and running out into the streets. Darien could feel the shock running over and over through him. Serena… the love of his life just told him she's now gay… what's a man to do.
Chapter 2Serena felt her head pounding in a maddening headache. While shivering and wrapping her pathetic wrap around her shoulders. She found herself in front of a tall, brown door and she felt her hand reaching for the doorbell. After she rang the doorbell, the door opened to reveal a head of shiny black and gorgeous, deep eyes that burned like the fire that Serena was sure this woman was made of.
"Serena?" the woman said slowly before opening the door all the way, leading the crying heap inside. She seated Serena next to her on the couch before comfortingly wrapping her long arms around her.
"What's the matter honey?" she asked soothingly as she felt Serena break down harder at her soft voice and burying her face in the crook of the woman's neck.
"Rei…" she sobbed as she felt the dark beauty softly stroking her head.
"You told him didn't you…" she asked slowly as Serena lifted her red eyes to meet the soft gaze of Rei's.
"Yeah… he… he didn't take it so well…" Serena said with her hoarse voice before wiping her freshly shed tears. Rei sighed and ran a hand through her dark hair, a habit that Serena noticed Darien had also. 'Why am I thinking of him…?' she thought, angry at herself.
"Serena, darling… don't take it too hard on yourself… men are just… thickheaded, they are so not open-minded and can't accept reality. He'll get over it and find a bimbo that he can screw." She spoke coldly, thinking of men got her temper rising, before getting up to go to the kitchen.
"Do you want anything to drink?" she called out to the still recovering blonde, wiping the tears still, and forcefully smiling.
"Yes please… a cup of hot chocolate." She said slowly while stretching her aching limbs. Rei smiled at the innocent angel that was now hers. It was about a week and half ago… how they met…
FlashbackSerena wandered around the club looking for a place to sit.' Maybe I should've called Lita out to join me.' She thought while a depressed sigh followed her thought. She ordered a pina colada and was sipping it through a straw, after about 4 pina coladas she could feel herself getting more and more depressed, she felt bad for feeling this way, but she felt as if she didn't love Darien like that anymore. 'I thought I loved him…' she thought as she sighed again. She felt another presence to her left so she turned her groggy eyes. A beautiful raven-haired beauty smiled back.
"Hi there." She said with a friendly wave. Serena weakly smiled back before concentrating on her alcoholic beverage again. Rei looked at the depressed blonde thoughtfully.
"What's a girl like you doing in a place like this?" Rei asked, laughing at her choice of cheesy words.
"Huh? Oh… just trying to drown in my own misery." She responded lazily. 'Was this girl trying to hit on me? I must have drunk to much…' she thought as she slowly got up. She stumbled and the dark-haired woman helped her.
"Do you want to come over?" she asked slowly, licking her lips. Serena jumped at the woman's forward display of suggestion.
"Um… sorry uh… I'm not like that." Serena said with an akward smile before walking with unstable footing toward the door. Rei looked at the backside of the blonde hungrily. 'That girl is too hot to be wasted on some dumbass male…' she thought evilly before following Serena. She grabbed the blonde's arm before leading her to her car. Serena weakly shook her head.
"You must have mistaken me for something else miss, but I'm straight as an arrow." She drawled out, her words slurred. Rei gave her a small smile.
"Then why are you so depressed, come on, just try it, and if you don't like it we'll stop." Rei said seductively before lowering her mouth on Serena's. Serena was about to object when she found this not weird at all, in fact, it felt like the most right thing she's done in the past year. She felt herself lean into the kiss, they arrived at Rei's house and she lead the innocent girl inside her bedroom, kissing her senseless…
(A/N: Okay, stop right there, I am sorry to say, but I don't like anything to do with Yaoi or Yuri, I'm only using the lesbian thing as a uh… thing in the story plot. so I feel very uncomfortable writing a yuri sex scene. Sorry to disappoint anyone who likes yaoi or yuri, but this fic is going to end up a DarienxSerena thing… so just pretend the whole sex thing happened already…)
The next morning, Serena woke up with a painful headache, she could smell omelets cooking. With her stomach grumbling, she followed the scent and found herself looking at a humming woman. She turned around and greeted Serena with a warm smile.
"Good morning baby." She said as she walked toward the shocked Serena, giving her a passionate kiss the Serena felt herself liking. 'What the hell happened?' she thought with panic, breaking the kiss and looking at the dark-haired beauty carefully.
"What happened?" Serena asked, she could feel her voice shaking and her body backing away. Rei smiled at her before going back to the kitchen to turn over the omelets.
"Everything…" Rei answered with a satisfied smile. Serena nervously sank down onto a couch, memories of last nights events flooding back with full force.
"You raped me!" Serena accused angrily leaving Rei with a scowl.
"I did no such thing! You responded just as much you sex-deprived slut!" Rei heard herself screaming back.
"I am not sex-deprived!" Serena yelled haughtily before crossing her arms.
"You could've fooled me when you couldn't stop moaning!" Rei yelled back. They argued for a while and Rei sighed as she rubbed her tired temples.
"Look, if you regretted it, fine. Out you go." She said as she pointed at the door. Serena sat quietly processing the events carefully again. She couldn't believe she was doing this… but…
"Who said I regretted it?" She said with a smirk before she jumped on Rei, kissing her and stroking her hair. Rei smiled into the kiss, 'I did it, I knew I could persuade this one' she thought as she kissed back.
End of Flashback
Rei came to Serena with a mug of hot chocolate. Ever since that day, they've been together, Serena getting more and more used to the idea of being with a woman and liking it.
Darien…
"Arggggghhhh!" he screamed before throwing a vase against the wall, his butler watched with horror as his master was practically destroying the office. Darien could feel hot tears running down his face at the thought of Serena and him being over. 'I can't give up on her… I love her' he thought angrily. 'And?' a voice in his head asked. 'And what?' he answered. 'What if you love her, she's a lesbian now my friend. You can't turn her back.' The voice taunted. He charged into his living room and saw that the T.V. was on. 'Who turned the fucking T.V. on at a time like this!' he thought angrily, going over to turn it off, he stopped, the movie 'Mrs. Doubtfire' was on, he watched Robert Williams disguise himself as a woman and his eyes grew wider by the second. He stood up abruptly and raced to his car, driving himself to his best friend Andrew's house. He repeatedly knocked on the door, before an annoyed man answered it.
"You're killing my door." Andrew growled as Darien let himself in. Andrew flinched when he saw Darien's wild eyes.
"Andrew!" he yelled as he grabbed his friend by the shoulders.
"What?" he meekly answered back.
"I… I…" Darien started. Andrew looked pissed.
"I was working on making a mask for the movie 'The Thing.' I need to get it done by tomorrow, can you spit it out already?"
"Andrew, my friend, I want you to make me a woman." Darien said with a proud smile on his face, happy that he'd thought of the idea. Andrew's face paled.
"WHAT!" he shouted as he stepped away from his crazed face. 'Darien's finally gone off the edge… what did Serena do?' he asked himself.
A/N: What? Darien wants to be a what? What does he mean? He doesn't mean literally does he? Well, you'll find out next chapter! Future humorous scenes can be expected!