Chapter 3: The Single Most Important Detail

Santa's room/office was amazing. It had changed so much since her last visit eight years ago. It seemed more colorful and alive. As always, the puppets Punch and Judy were still there. Bernard was helping Santa get ready for a meeting between the legendary figures when Abbie came in with two mugs of cocoa. "I brought some cocoa for you, Santa. You can have some, too, Erin." "Now is not the time, Abbie." She ignored Bernard and went up to Santa's desk.

"I sent Dasher down for some Brazilian cocoa beans yesterday." Having never tasted Brazilian cocoa, Erin got up from the floor to get her mug. Santa, on the other hand, looked at Abbie rather skeptically. "So, what's the bad news" Abbie, a smile plastered on her face, replied"What do you mean" "When you play the 'designer bean card', generally you have bad news." The smile faded from her face as she handed him a roll of parchment.

"What are you doing with the naughty and nice list" "Just don't shoot the messenger." Erin had a feeling that she knew what this was about as Santa began to unroll the list. "It's . . . Charlie." "Sheen? I thought he straitened out." Abbie shook her head. "Not that Charlie." Now Erin was positive that her guess was right. Her suspicions were confirmed when Santa said"My Charlie. My son Charlie is on the naughty list? There must be some mistake." Again, Abbie shook her head. "We don't make mistakes. I'm sorry, Santa." And with that, Abbie left.

"Is this what you and Curtis were trying to tell me" At that moment, Curtis walked in pushing a strange machine with magnifying glasses. "Great! You told him! Now I can get you dressed for that meeting." Clearly, Curtis was talking about something else. "I can't have the meeting here. I've gotta go see Charlie." Bernard decided to take control, not wanting Curtis to get off so easily. "Curtis, tell him now." "Santa, there's a Clause." "Well, that would be me." "No, there's another Santa Clause." "Curtis, if you haven't noticed, the malls this time of year are filled with other 'Santa Clauses'" This was starting to remind both Bernard and Erin of when Scott first became Santa.

Flashback:

"You read the card, you put on the suit, and so you fell subject to the Santa Clause." Bernard was leading Scott and Erin around while trying to explain everything. Note the word 'trying'. Well, at least Erin understood him. 'She also doesn't mess up my name.' "Oh, you mean the guy on my roof." "No, not Santa Claus the person. Santa Clause the clause." "What" Bernard, desperately trying to not raise his voice, turned around. "Look. You're a businessman, right? A clause as in the last line of the contract."

End Flashback:

"No, I mean there's another Santa Clause. There was a first clause but there's also a second clause." Erin was getting board and, apparently, so were Punch and Judy. "Get on with it!" Curtis pulled out the business card Scott found on the last Santa. "When the last Santa fell off your roof, you found this." "Yeah. 'He who wears the coat takes on the responsibilities of Santa' and, of course, the rest would be history." Bernard nodded"Right. But it seems our number two elf" He turned to face Curtis. "The keeper of the Handbook, overlooked the SINGLE, MOST IMPORTANT DETAIL IN THE HISTORY OF CHRISTMAS"

Erin had never seen Bernard this mad. It was actually really entertaining. Curtis, however, was undaunted. "Wow. One mistake in nine - hundred years." "What is going on here" Bernard then proceeded to pull up a set of magnifying glasses, the largest one being the one that gave them the best view of the card on the stand. Curiosity getting the best of her, Erin joined them around the odd device.

To her surprize, she saw the most miniscule letters she'd ever seen hidden in the red design. Santa began reading them out loud. " 'The cardholder acknowledges the woman of his choosing (not valid in the state of Utah) to be joined in holy . . . MATRIMONY!' I've gotta get married" " Yes, it's the Mrs. Clause." "Well what if I don't want to get married" Santa chose that moment to tighten his belt, showing them how thin he'd suddenly become.

"Oh, no. The de - santification process has begun" Curtis managed to say all in one breath. "De - santification? You mean in that clause it says that if I don't get married I don't get to be Santa" Now Erin started to get worried. If Scott de - santified, she wouldn't get to stay with him anymore. "What about the kids? What about the elves? What about you guy's" "Don't worry, Santa. There's still time for you to find a wife." Erin was becoming skeptical. "How much time does he have" Curtis answered her. "28 days."

"So he's gotta find a wife by Christmas." "Actually Christmas Eve." Santa looked as if he'd lost all hope, which he had. "I guess it's over." "No! You can't give up! Because if you do, we have to." Erin walked over to Santa's side. "Please don't give up Mr. C. After all, nothing is impossible." Bernard hadn't known her to be so optimistic. Suddenly, Santa's beard grew shorter before their eyes"Christmas is getting very complicated."

AN:Review please! With fingers crossed behind her back I'll give you ramen and pocky!