Unstable
Chapter 1 - Only a friend?
Blasted alarm clock! It's amazing that it's still operational after the numerous times hitting my wall. The chirping was the absolute worst noise to wake up to. Dammit. I let my hand crash down onto the large snooze button. It gave my just fifteen more minutes of much needed sleep.
It's hard for me to sleep this time of year. Five years ago is when my parents died. I often become quiet and distant in school and around my step-parents. Nobody bothers me. Everyone knows to leave me alone.
"Haruka, hon, time to get up for school." Samone popped her head into my room. Her and Jamison cared about my schooling. I guess they want to see me make something of myself. That's what they want. I couldn't care less about my future. The way I saw it...I'd live on the streets if they would let me.
"I know, I heard my damn alarm." That was the angriest I could ever get with either of them. I couldn't bring myself to yell at these people. They'd always been so good to me.
I simply ignored her sigh. I had learned that it was her way to show care and worry for me. I just didn't know sometimes. Samone and Jamison are the only two that care. Nobody else does. Nobody else ever has. Nobody else has ever cared for me.
So little ran through my mind as I dressed for school. Just thoughts of who would give me 'the look.' The look was what I called it anyway. It was nothing more then a blank stare. You know the one you give a person who's just told you something devistating. Where you can't tell if the person giving you 'the look' is angry, disgusted, happy or sad. I hate 'the look.'
Algebra, history, physics, gym. With a lunch hour thrown into the mix there...that was my day, nothing more, nothing less. In that order too. I hate all of my classes. Except for gym, for some reason I enjoy that. I suppose it's because the guys treat me like one of them.
I get 'the look' when I pull into the school's parking lot EVERY single day. Only because of the car I drive. Nobody seems to understand that the Lexus I drive...isn't even mine! It's Jamison's. I just get it because he works at night and gets home at 5a.m. before I leave for school. I'm so used to it though. To pull into the parking lot, everyone stop what they're doing to stare at the white Lexus. Like they've never seen one before. It's not like it's on fire or anything. Damn people...nothing better to do then stare at a lonely girl.
I sigh softly and pull into my usual parking spot, at the far end of the parking lot, where nobody ever parked. So I know I don't have to worry about the car getting hurt. Jamison would ring my neck...Then sue the school. I chuckled to myself at the thought of him going against the board of education. He'd probably win too.
Algebra. Heaven knows I HATE this class. I'm not a math person, never have been...NEVER will be. I took my normal seat in the back of the class, near the window. The window always gave me something to do while Mrs. Cambell bores me to death. The window was my ticket to the deepest thoughts in my mind. A place I never go, unless completely bored, or alone. In this case it was out of boredom that caused me to dive deep into my own mental images. I somehow developed the ability to search through them, for a good image when I wanted...searching for good images, lately, didn't seem to happen much. Not this time of year anyway. Only of the accident. I could never control my mental thoughts this time of year. Just the accident. That's all I could think of. The accident...that damn accident 5 years ago.
Something broke my concentration. As it did every morning in this class. Her name was Michiru Kaiou. I guess you could call her my friend. I haven't known friendship for 5...well...4 years. I met Michiru last year, when I was new to this school. She was the only person that talked to me. She kept me company during these few weeks. She was the only one. Either she was brave, or stupid...or just cared. I don't know.
"Hi Ruka, may I sit with you?" I just nodded, my eyes watching her, even if my head stayed facing the window. "How have you been?"
My eyes strayed over to look at her face. Why the hell did she care so much. I know it's just gonna end up in hurt for her. I can't tell her my deepest secrets. The only thing she knows of me...is that I live with foster parents, and that my real parents died. I could never tell her of my cutting. I couldn't hurt her like that.
During the course of the class period, my eyes traveled to her. What was I thinking! I just wanted to kill myself for such thoughts. Such thoughts...of love.
Chapter 1 - Only a friend?
Blasted alarm clock! It's amazing that it's still operational after the numerous times hitting my wall. The chirping was the absolute worst noise to wake up to. Dammit. I let my hand crash down onto the large snooze button. It gave my just fifteen more minutes of much needed sleep.
It's hard for me to sleep this time of year. Five years ago is when my parents died. I often become quiet and distant in school and around my step-parents. Nobody bothers me. Everyone knows to leave me alone.
"Haruka, hon, time to get up for school." Samone popped her head into my room. Her and Jamison cared about my schooling. I guess they want to see me make something of myself. That's what they want. I couldn't care less about my future. The way I saw it...I'd live on the streets if they would let me.
"I know, I heard my damn alarm." That was the angriest I could ever get with either of them. I couldn't bring myself to yell at these people. They'd always been so good to me.
I simply ignored her sigh. I had learned that it was her way to show care and worry for me. I just didn't know sometimes. Samone and Jamison are the only two that care. Nobody else does. Nobody else ever has. Nobody else has ever cared for me.
So little ran through my mind as I dressed for school. Just thoughts of who would give me 'the look.' The look was what I called it anyway. It was nothing more then a blank stare. You know the one you give a person who's just told you something devistating. Where you can't tell if the person giving you 'the look' is angry, disgusted, happy or sad. I hate 'the look.'
Algebra, history, physics, gym. With a lunch hour thrown into the mix there...that was my day, nothing more, nothing less. In that order too. I hate all of my classes. Except for gym, for some reason I enjoy that. I suppose it's because the guys treat me like one of them.
I get 'the look' when I pull into the school's parking lot EVERY single day. Only because of the car I drive. Nobody seems to understand that the Lexus I drive...isn't even mine! It's Jamison's. I just get it because he works at night and gets home at 5a.m. before I leave for school. I'm so used to it though. To pull into the parking lot, everyone stop what they're doing to stare at the white Lexus. Like they've never seen one before. It's not like it's on fire or anything. Damn people...nothing better to do then stare at a lonely girl.
I sigh softly and pull into my usual parking spot, at the far end of the parking lot, where nobody ever parked. So I know I don't have to worry about the car getting hurt. Jamison would ring my neck...Then sue the school. I chuckled to myself at the thought of him going against the board of education. He'd probably win too.
Algebra. Heaven knows I HATE this class. I'm not a math person, never have been...NEVER will be. I took my normal seat in the back of the class, near the window. The window always gave me something to do while Mrs. Cambell bores me to death. The window was my ticket to the deepest thoughts in my mind. A place I never go, unless completely bored, or alone. In this case it was out of boredom that caused me to dive deep into my own mental images. I somehow developed the ability to search through them, for a good image when I wanted...searching for good images, lately, didn't seem to happen much. Not this time of year anyway. Only of the accident. I could never control my mental thoughts this time of year. Just the accident. That's all I could think of. The accident...that damn accident 5 years ago.
Something broke my concentration. As it did every morning in this class. Her name was Michiru Kaiou. I guess you could call her my friend. I haven't known friendship for 5...well...4 years. I met Michiru last year, when I was new to this school. She was the only person that talked to me. She kept me company during these few weeks. She was the only one. Either she was brave, or stupid...or just cared. I don't know.
"Hi Ruka, may I sit with you?" I just nodded, my eyes watching her, even if my head stayed facing the window. "How have you been?"
My eyes strayed over to look at her face. Why the hell did she care so much. I know it's just gonna end up in hurt for her. I can't tell her my deepest secrets. The only thing she knows of me...is that I live with foster parents, and that my real parents died. I could never tell her of my cutting. I couldn't hurt her like that.
During the course of the class period, my eyes traveled to her. What was I thinking! I just wanted to kill myself for such thoughts. Such thoughts...of love.