Summary: This is a Santa Clause 2 fanfic. Erin's heart has been shattered by the deaths of most of the people she loves a year prior to the events in this story. She believes anyone she loves will get hurt so she refuses to show any feelings of affection, developing a case of the melancholies. It's time for someone to supply her with the best kind of medicine, which isn't laughter. Bernard/OC
Disclaimer: I don't own SC2. Disney does. So there! I only own Erin, who's based on me, by the way (8.
Notes: Since I don't think the movies ever say where Charlie and his family live, I've put them in New York. Scott and Santa are the same person. I might include some song lyrics in latter chapters. I based the title on the saying laughter is the best medicine. 'thought', "speech" , song lyrics, "more than one person speaking" , emphasis
Chapter 5: The Toy Santa
"Okay, everyone! Can I have the room for a minute? Thank you! Take a cocoa break." The elves were leaving just as Erin arrived. Santa had called her down to hear Curtis's plan. She'd known that Bernard would be there, but there was no reason to worry. After all, it was just an ulcer earlier, wasn't it? She hurried over to them while Curtis and Santa started talking about some technical stuff.
"What's this and what does it do?" she asked no one in particular. Curtis puffed out his chest proudly before answering, "It's called the Universal Pantograph and it can shrink, copy, and enlarge toys." "I see. Pretty cool." Bernard was surprised that she was interested in that stuff. Meanwhile, Santa and Curtis continued their conversation. "Wait a minute, you tripled the ram . . . Curtis I see where this is going. I'm not getting in there." Bernard jumped in just then. "Besides, making a copy of Santa won't fix anything."
"I've added a fuzzy intelligence chip. So while you're looking for a wife and dealing with Charlie in New York, " "The toy Santa will be here melting in front of my fireplace." "No, the toy Santa will be dealing with business up here." "I can deal with business up here. Santa, if the elves ever found out we'd made a switch . . ." He then proceeded to make a hilarious face while gasping, which caused Erin to stifle a laugh. "No, no. This machine is not the answer!"
It was at that precise moment, they heard a noise. They all looked down towards the floor. A brown mouse had crawled up the conveyer belt. "Hey, you! Shoo!" But it was too late. The mouse had entered the Pantograph. Eager to see the results, they rushed to the other side. Before long, the Pantograph opened again. The mouse skidded down the belt, followed closely by a toy replica. Erin snatched up one before it could run off, but missed the other. Before they could blink, she'd run off in search of the other one.
"Look, you can't get much better than that." Santa contemplated the options, and then agreed. "I can't watch this." Bernard walked over to Erin, who was under a desk trying to get the mouse. The poor thing was looking around, desperately trying to find a way to get away from the giant human. Erin, sensing it was afraid of her, began to softly whisper comforts to the creature. Suddenly, the Pantograph gave off a loud noise, scarring the mouse. It jumped and ran past her, only to be caught in Bernard's waiting hand. He gently stroked its fur to calm it down a little, then handed it to her.
'Thanks Bernard. I thought I'd never catch him." She gave him her warm smile and for a second Bernard felt this warm, calming, weird feeling deep in the pit of his stomach. He didn't know what it was, but it felt good. "You're welcome." Suddenly, Curtis shouted, "It's perfect!" "That's because it's me Einstein." They rushed over to join Santa and Curtis. "Santa, are you ok?" "There's a shock in there."
Erin wasn't paying much attention. She was preoccupied with the two mice. She decided to name one of them Socrates and the other Aristotle. Suddenly, the guys started to scream. As she looked up, a hand reached up to cover her eyes. "Hey! What's going on?" "It's NAKED!" She understood perfectly and waited patiently for whatever it was to be covered up properly. Finally, the hand was removed from her eyes, and she had to pinch herself to make sure what she was seeing was real.
Before her very eyes stood two Santa's. It was obvious which one was the toy Santa because his face looked rubbery and his hair looked waxy. "Can he talk?" "Go ahead." So Santa began to talk to his toy self. At first it didn't respond, but then it began to repeat him. Bernard just stood their staring at them. 'Not bad." "Not bad yourself." "I'll be right back." "He's coming right back. "Santa pulled Erin and Bernard off to the side. "I need your help." "What do you mean?"
" I need you two to convince the elves that…Toy Santa is me." "Ah, hmm. Have you seen that thing?" 'Well, at least they're on the same train of thought.' "I have seen it, and I think that if you keep the elves at a distance and tell them…I changed my look, this might work." He was starting to convince Erin, but Bernard still remained skeptical. "Santa, we are in way over our heads here." "If anyone can do this it's you, Bernard." "We're not gonna lie to all the elves, are we Erin." He turned to her and saw she was smiling and nodding at Santa. "Are we Erin?" He asked, only this time he didn't sound so sure of her answer.
Me: Hello, all you people who are still reading this story! I have a confession to make. This is not the original typed chapter. Only half of it was saved and moved to a different computer before the one with the rest of it and the rest of the story crashed, so that's why the story kind of died for awhile.
(Sees the evil men with the shovels come closer)
Back off evil demons!
(Whacks them with rolling pins, shovels, and any other blunt objects she can find)
That ought to keep them away for a few weeks, or until I post my next chapter. Any who, it's time to meet my insane homeskillet, Dom'sgurl!
Dom'sgurl: What's up, homeskillets! (Cuddles Jaybird) Guess who I've got for us today?
Me: Just a sec. In case you haven't read my other fanfic Enchanting Eyes, I decided to invite my good friend Dom'sgurl to come over at the end of each chapter along with anyone she can kidnap along the way. Now, who did you kidnap today?
Dom'sgurl: I got, drum roll please, (drum roll) Zigzag from Holes!
Zigzag: Huh?
Me: Aww, isn't he so hot?
Dom'sgurl: Yep.
Jay: Hey, what am I, chopped liver?
Dom'sgurl: But not as cute as Jay-Jay! (Kisses Jay)
Jay: That's more like it.
Zigzag: Why am I here?
Me: (Menacing and evil like) You're here to ask the readers to review for my story. If they don't review, I don't post, and if I don't post, no one can come to take your place, and then you'll be stuck here forever.
Zigzag: (Completely terrified) Review, people!
Dom'sgurl: Aww, you scared the poor boy!
Zigzag: Help me, please! I don't wanna stay here!
Me: It's better than digging holes, isn't it?
Zigzag: You've got a point. But still, they need to review, don't they?
Me: Absolutely.
(Evil men come back)
Die, evil men!
(Drop kicks the men senseless)
Dom'sgurl: Scary, isn't she?
Zigzag and Jay: Yep.
Me: (Continues to beat the ever-loving snot out of the evil men)