Unstable
Chapter 2 - Letter
'Michiru,
'You were the first and only person to befriend me when I first attended this school. I don't know how much I could ever thank you. I don't think I'll ever be able to come up with a proper way to thank you. I've had so much going through my mind since my parents died, I guess I'm going to explain everything. To explain what I feel...don't feel...and want to feel.
'You've met Samone and Jamison. They're very good to me. Very nice people I suppose. But I miss my parents. I miss mom and her cooking. I miss our baking parties. My dad always dreaded 'bake-days.' He was never allowed in the kitchen on those days. We'd always need a bath afterwards, because we would be covered in flour. I miss my dad taking me to baseball games. They weren't major league games, in fact there were new players almost every time. I miss the Formula-1 races he took me and my mom to. I loved racing...in fact, I still love racing. I've dreamt of being a world renown racer. I don't think that'll happen though.
'I've had so many things running through my head, so many confusing thoughts. Lately, I just don't care about my grades...or even my life. I know you do, and Samone and Jamison do...but I don't. I'm not smart enough to ever make anything of myself. Just make me a crash dummy or something, I don't care.
'I have my body. I'm too muscular, people think I'm a guy. I hate it. I mean, I have short hair, because I like short hair. You like playing with it. I like it when you play with it. I don't like when you ruffle it though. I'm not a dog Michi.
'I have a secret to tell you. Only because I trust you. Haven't you ever wondered why I refuse to change in front of you. Like when you stay the night or something. It's because I'm hiding something from you. My cuts. No, not the scars from the accident, cuts that I did myself. See...I hate everything, life and the such. I have such a deep hatred for everything. My life, school, teachers, other students...just...everything.
'I have another secret too. As if you aren't shocked enough. I think I'm actually falling in love with someone...You.
~Haruka
I'm not sure what caused me to write this letter. I guess I really did want to get everything out. I'll probably lose Michi as my friend because of this letter.
Carefully, my nervous hands folded up the letter. It had spand two pages, probably because I messed up so much. I couldn't put my thoughts together well. I'm secretly hoping she'll remain my friend after reading this.
Quietly I reached behind me and picked up the stapler off the teacher's desk. I am in physics right now. My grade is stable enough...I didn't need to pay attention.
I stapled the letter closed, to keep the two pages together while they sat in Michi's locker.
When the bell rang, I hurried from my seat. A few people looked at me, it was nothing new. I just knew I had to get to Michi's locker before she did. And then out of viewing distance once she got there. I can't face her about this. Hence the letter.
"Pardon me." my voice was soft as I pushed by people in the hall. Hell...my voice wasn't just soft, it was scared. So many thoughts. 'Would she tell someone?' 'Will she stop talking to me?' 'Maybe she will still care.' 'Maybe she'll start making fun of me for being a dyke.' God I hate when I get like this. I can't make since of anything!
There it is, Michi's locker. Nobody was around it and Michi wasn't in sight. Good. I moved to it and looked down the hall...then up the hall. I was so nervous that she would see me. I looked at the letter once more before sliding it into the slats of her locker. Then hurried off to gym.
Chapter 2 - Letter
'Michiru,
'You were the first and only person to befriend me when I first attended this school. I don't know how much I could ever thank you. I don't think I'll ever be able to come up with a proper way to thank you. I've had so much going through my mind since my parents died, I guess I'm going to explain everything. To explain what I feel...don't feel...and want to feel.
'You've met Samone and Jamison. They're very good to me. Very nice people I suppose. But I miss my parents. I miss mom and her cooking. I miss our baking parties. My dad always dreaded 'bake-days.' He was never allowed in the kitchen on those days. We'd always need a bath afterwards, because we would be covered in flour. I miss my dad taking me to baseball games. They weren't major league games, in fact there were new players almost every time. I miss the Formula-1 races he took me and my mom to. I loved racing...in fact, I still love racing. I've dreamt of being a world renown racer. I don't think that'll happen though.
'I've had so many things running through my head, so many confusing thoughts. Lately, I just don't care about my grades...or even my life. I know you do, and Samone and Jamison do...but I don't. I'm not smart enough to ever make anything of myself. Just make me a crash dummy or something, I don't care.
'I have my body. I'm too muscular, people think I'm a guy. I hate it. I mean, I have short hair, because I like short hair. You like playing with it. I like it when you play with it. I don't like when you ruffle it though. I'm not a dog Michi.
'I have a secret to tell you. Only because I trust you. Haven't you ever wondered why I refuse to change in front of you. Like when you stay the night or something. It's because I'm hiding something from you. My cuts. No, not the scars from the accident, cuts that I did myself. See...I hate everything, life and the such. I have such a deep hatred for everything. My life, school, teachers, other students...just...everything.
'I have another secret too. As if you aren't shocked enough. I think I'm actually falling in love with someone...You.
~Haruka
I'm not sure what caused me to write this letter. I guess I really did want to get everything out. I'll probably lose Michi as my friend because of this letter.
Carefully, my nervous hands folded up the letter. It had spand two pages, probably because I messed up so much. I couldn't put my thoughts together well. I'm secretly hoping she'll remain my friend after reading this.
Quietly I reached behind me and picked up the stapler off the teacher's desk. I am in physics right now. My grade is stable enough...I didn't need to pay attention.
I stapled the letter closed, to keep the two pages together while they sat in Michi's locker.
When the bell rang, I hurried from my seat. A few people looked at me, it was nothing new. I just knew I had to get to Michi's locker before she did. And then out of viewing distance once she got there. I can't face her about this. Hence the letter.
"Pardon me." my voice was soft as I pushed by people in the hall. Hell...my voice wasn't just soft, it was scared. So many thoughts. 'Would she tell someone?' 'Will she stop talking to me?' 'Maybe she will still care.' 'Maybe she'll start making fun of me for being a dyke.' God I hate when I get like this. I can't make since of anything!
There it is, Michi's locker. Nobody was around it and Michi wasn't in sight. Good. I moved to it and looked down the hall...then up the hall. I was so nervous that she would see me. I looked at the letter once more before sliding it into the slats of her locker. Then hurried off to gym.