RAR #8: Hello again, my dear readers. I'm finally back with a new chapter for this story. Now that life has slowed down to a leisurely pace, I am able to write freely. I'm not sure if I like how this chapter turned out. I guess I will leave it up to you, the reader. Hint hint, nudge nudge. Yeah, so after a long stint of writer's block and a crazy time after turning in my term paper (which I aced! Sweet!), I can finish this story in no time. Thank you for being patient. Here is some of the reward. Hope you like it.
Nogard sat behind her desk, silently appearing to grade the tests of the previous class while her current students worked diligently on the book assignment she had given them. Conflicting emotions and thoughts swirled like a thick fog within her mind. Her quill paused, her eyes locked on the parchment before her.
"Mr. Thuban, please cease your attack on Miss Calis," she voiced fairly monotony. "Spitballs are quite obvious in dark hair, especially when they are charmed to change colors." A small, portly boy in the back of the room froze, the fluorescent pink wad of damp paper that he had been positioning for flight fell forgotten to his desk. The raven haired girl in front of him turned around and proceeded to stick her tongue out at the would be assailant. "Back to work, both of you."
Nogard was far too distracted as it was, there was no need for her students to add to it. Lupin had been gone for no more than an hour, but it seemed like centuries. Her tears had run dry only minutes before her class had begun. She wasn't quite sure if she could handle seeing him again, let alone think about what may happen. Her complete distress over the situation scared her. Did she want to be with him once again? Or did she want to walk away from more than thirty years of her life and continue her current charade?
Approaching footsteps broke her thoughts abruptly. Her eyes rose slowing to meet the warm, penetrating stare of her love. Lupin strode confidently toward her desk, presenting a professional air that made him appear to be visiting on business as opposed to pleasure. Students peered up from their textbooks curiously, gladly excepting any excuse to halt their tedious, half hearted efforts at work.
"Good afternoon, Mr. Lupin," Nogard greeted, voice steadied with great effort. "How can I help you?"
"I was hoping that I could take a moment of your time, Professor Nogard," Lupin replied, tone completely professional. "Privately of course. Official business." His lie was perfectly fabricated for the ear of the unintended audience whose stare bore into his back, but his eyes pleaded with her bleeding heart to speak with him plainly.
"May I ask the nature of this business?" she stalled, slowly losing her composure.
"Dumbledore has advised that I should speak of it only in private, Ms. Nogard."
She bit her lip nervously. Nogard stood and scanned the classroom, the eyes of her students shooting back to their work, their quills springing to life instantly. She looked back at Lupin.
"In that case, my office is the perfect place." She gestured toward the staircase behind her. Her attention returned again to her students. "Don't even think about getting out of your seats until I return. I promise that the one that even stands shall find himself in detention so fast that a Firebolt wouldn't be able to beat him there. Understood?" A collective nod assured this fact. "Good, and don't think I won't know who gets up."
Upon this declaration, Nogard accompanies her visitor to the enclosed loft that was her office. The heavy oak door closed behind her, protecting their conversation from prying ears. Lupin leaned leisurely against the edge of her desk, eyes once again probing hers. She turned away from him, unable to make eye contact for fear of a breakdown.
"What's wrong?" The concern in his voice was nearly unbearable. "Are you feeling all right?"
"I'm fine," she muttered, her tone unconvincing to even herself.
He tilted his head slightly, searching her expression for some sign of emotion. It merely remained blank and unchanging, an action she had developed quite well over the years. Though her mind and heart were complete chaos, her expression stayed this way, at least for the moment.
Lupin was quite obviously unconvinced. "I thought you'd be at least a bit excited to see me. Maybe even if it was the slightest hint of a smile, I'd be satisfied."
His comment caused her to round on him. "Excuse me? You suddenly walk back into my life and just expect me to be completely overjoyed and ready to drop everything to be with you, is that it?"
"Not at all," he defended, realizing the suggestion of his words. "You know that isn't what I meant."
"Could have fooled me." Words were flooding from her mouth before she could stop them or think it through. Her voice grew stronger with each utterance. "I was doing just fine before today. After years of chasing you around like I had in school, I had worked so hard at moving on. Just when it had begun to work, here you are, screwing it all up."
"Chevious---"
"What makes you think that this isn't what I want?"
"You're being irrational."
"About what exactly am I being irrational! Did you ever conceive the fact that maybe I want to be alone? That maybe I don't love you anymore!" Nogard froze, her lips parted in utter disbelief. She had said the inconceivable. She had hurt the one person she had promised to herself she would never hurt.
Lupin's eyes hardened, anger and torment tracing the lines of his condition aged face. He straightened up, his now icy stare piercing his aching heart.
"Is that how you really feel?" he asked. She was silent, attempting to find the words to voice her feelings, but her pause seemed long enough to answer his question. "I see. Well, then, I guess my business here is finished. I won't hold up your new life any longer."
She could only stare at him, her voice completely failing. His attention turned to the door, which he opened slowly as he once again took on a semiprofessional appearance. He descended the staircase quickly. At the foot, he turned again to Nogard who had appeared on the landing above him.
"If there is any need to contact me, Dumbledore knows where I'm staying. Good afternoon, Professor Nogard."
In one sweeping motion, he gave a slight bow and strode determinedly out of sight. Nogard stared after him for a few moments before she felt the twenty or so prying eyes that had now fallen on her. She survey the class below her with criticizing eyes.
"Mr. Thuban, due to your continued use of spitballs in you assault on Miss Calis, you will be joining me in detention." Several of his classmates snickered. "No need to worry about getting lonely, Mr. Thuban, because Mr. Creevy, Mr. Bandens, and Miss Carlway will also be joining you due to the fact that they left their seats during my conference with Mr. Lupin." She paused once again, awaiting complaints. When none came, she concluded, "Class dismissed."
The students filed out eagerly, wanting to flee from her apparent warpath. Nogard strode back into her office and slammed the door. She seated herself sideways in her armchair, allowing her feet to dangle over one of the arms. She rubbed her temples in frustration.
"I guess that is the end of that," she thought aloud. "I'm alone once again. I should get used to it, I suppose. This is how it will be from now on."
The final wall surrounding her heart crashed, and tears poured from her eyes. Cradling her head in her heads, Nogard let out the years of pain alone in the silence.
RAR#9: There you have it! I have decided that I do like this chapter. Chevious' irrational side comes out again, as it has many a time in the past (see JE). You'd think she'd have control of that by now, eh? It was yet another sad chapter. They just seem to keep coming out like that in one way or another. I tried to add a bit of comic relief to it by showing Chev getting her teacher on. LoL It just reminded me of all those teachers who have eyes in the back of their head. I don't know what you thought, but I thought it was pretty funny. Getting back to the story itself, this wonderful thing that I love to write is nearing its closing. Sadly, I will soon be hanging up my pen on this piece, within the next couple chapters in fact. Hopefully the next chapter will be up very soon. Until then, happy reading.