Entrapment
Chapter 8: Come Walk in My Soul
Dr. Beckett looked over the group of people standing anxiously before him before he answered Weir's hesitant question. "Aye, I bloody don't know how, but the major is still with us. He gave me quite a few scares on the table, but he survived the surgery. It was like putting Humpty Dumpty back together." The doctor shook his head slightly in disbelief as he spoke.
At the team's collective sigh of relief, he continued as he held up his hand to temporarily halt the flood of responses. "Aye, but he is far from being out of the woods just yet. His injuries are quite severe, and the long wait he had until he received medical care have taken a toll on his body. The next 48 hours will be touch and go. If he can make it past this window, I will have a better idea of the prognosis for his recovery. At this point, it's up to him, and we'll have to wait and see."
Beckett looked drained from the efforts it took to keep the major alive this far. The doctor needed sleep, but the group knew he would not truly rest until his patient was past this critical period without developing complications that might further jeopardize his health.
"When can we see him, Carson?" Elizabeth asked the question foremost in the assembled teammates' thoughts.
"You can shortly. Dr. Hornbeck, the orthopedist is setting his leg now. Then he'll be moved into the intensive care area where we can monitor him more closely. He's still unconscious, and I suspect he will be for a while due to a severe concussion. But I will let you see him once we have him settled." Beckett assured the group.
"Carson, do you think there will be lasting repercussions from his heart stopping? I'm no medical expert, but it seems to me for a person to clinically die for several minutes cannot be a good thing." McKay asked still unsettled by the memory of his friend's condition when the rescue team broke into the room.
"Luckily, Elizabeth started CPR right away, and we were able to resuscitate the major quickly before there could be any long-term brain damage due to oxygen deprivation." The doctor replied.
"What about his other injuries, Dr. Beckett?" Teyla asked.
"Well, he has a nasty head wound, but there is no indication on the scans of either a skull fracture or subdural hematoma. The major has several broken ribs, along with the leg fracture. He also had a ruptured spleen, which we had to remove, and a lacerated liver and kidney, both of which we managed to repair. Between the internal injuries and the external wounds, Major Sheppard lost a significant amount of blood. Added to those injuries, the shock and subsequent cardiac arrest have weakened his body considerably. We have him on a ventilator to help him breathe too since he appears to have inhaled quite a bit of plaster dust along with suffering severe bruising to his lungs. The ventilator will take the stress off his lungs so his body can concentrate all it's energy on healing." Beckett explained.
Ford blew out a breath. "Sounds like it's a miracle the major is even alive."
"Aye, he's a tough one he is. Even after what he's been through, he's still got some fight left in him. Let's hope it's enough to get him on the road to a full recovery." Beckett wanted to be able to give them a more definitive answer, but it was still too early to predict how well Sheppard would respond to treatment.
Beckett gestured for the four people to sit back down to wait until he gave them the word that it was okay to visit Major Sheppard in the SICU area. Then he crossed the room to clean up at an examination cubicle before rejoining them.
Removing the surgical scrubs he was still wearing over his clothes, he tossed them into a nearby laundry bin and retrieved his lab coat from the hook on his office door. Pulling the coat on, he walked back over to the waiting area where Weir, McKay, Ford, and Teyla quietly sat. Upon his return, he told them he expected it would not be much longer before they would be able to briefly see the major.
He noted Elizabeth had not even looked up but remained sitting with her eyes locked on the door she last saw John brought through. He knew nothing short of an armored tank would remove her from the medical bay. His practiced eyes could tell she was keeping a tight rein on her emotions for the benefit of the others. Carson observed her for a few minutes, silently assessing her physical and psychological state. She looked totally spent, yet he knew she would not rest until she was able to check on her ranking military officer.
"Elizabeth, I would like to keep you in the infirmary overnight for observation as a precaution since you were unconscious for a few minutes following the collapse. I suspect you'll be wanting to stay near Major Sheppard, so I'll have my staff get you settled into the bed near his." Carson said.
"Thank you, Carson." Elizabeth answered absent-mindedly, still keeping her eyes trained on the intensive care section of the infirmary.
Carson was about to go back into the surgical area to check on the orthopedic staff's progress. As he turned away from Elizabeth, he saw that the knuckles on one of McKay's hands were bloodied and bruised.
"Rodney, what happened to your hand, laddie?" Carson exclaimed when he noticed the scraped and raw skin on the astrophysicist's knuckles. "Come with me so I can clean and bandage those abrasions before they get infected." The doctor beckoned McKay to follow him into the treatment area.
Once Carson had Rodney sit down on one of the beds, he pulled over a portable supply cart and took out some antiseptic wash and some gauze pads.
"Now, are you going to tell me how you skinned your hand, son?" Beckett asked again.
"Oh, there's nothing to explain really. I just found a rather unique method of determining the Rockwell Hardness of a certain self-centered chemical engineer's jawbone." McKay shrugged as Carson motioned for him to put his hand out for closer examination.
Beckett gave McKay a look that conveyed part admiration, part amusement, and part admonition. "Well, you don't say now. But you should know that since the jawbone is connected to the skull bone, the jawbone would be just as hard as certain thickheaded skulls. Let that be a future reference to you the next time you are so inclined to punch someone's lights out."
"Did they teach you that important fact in what passes as medical schools in Scotland, Carson? Or did you read that in your copy of 'The Chanter's Guide to Healing Spells and Incantations'?" Rodney quipped.
"No, son. I learned it through painful trial and error during a few skirmishes in rowdy pubs after Happy Hour in my wayward youth." Beckett answered as he wiped the scrapes with an antiseptic swab causing the scientist to yelp in pain.
"Ouch! That stings for Christ sakes. I am missing some skin there if you haven't noticed. Geez Carson, is that stuff flesh-eating acid disguised as antibacterial ointment?" McKay winced as he pulled his hand back out of Beckett's grasp.
"Don't be carrying on like a wee whimpering bairn, Rodney. I need to clean these knuckles properly so you will be able to box another day. Not that I would officially condone relying on fisticuffs to settle disagreements." Carson mildly scolded as he grabbed the hand back to finish cleaning it.
"I'd usually agree wholeheartedly, Carson. But Kavanaugh's callous attitude and comments in regards to Major Sheppard's accident were enough to make me want to experience firsthand the cathartic benefits of a good right hook to someone's face." The scientist commented still fuming inside when he remembered the long-haired scientist's reaction to news of the day's events.
"Aye, well there is that I grant you now. And given why Dr. Kavanaugh was at the receiving end, I can understand why you would want to clout the arrogant bugger. I've been sorely tempted to take a whack at him myself on occasion. But you did not hear that from me." The wily Scotsman admitted.
"Did you say something, Carson? I'm sorry, I must be so distracted that I already have forgotten your last comment." McKay exchanged a look with Beckett to let him know that he would not repeat anything the doctor said in regards to Kavanaugh.
Beckett finished securing the gauze bandage with surgical tape before sending McKay on his way. "There you go, laddie. Try to stay out of trouble if you can. I have enough to keep me busy for the time being tending to the major."
"Hmm, well yes. Carson, I just wanted to let you know you pulled off a miracle today. I mean, bringing Sheppard back from death's door, then getting him through the trip back and the long hours of surgery was nothing short of phenomenal. I know I tend to equate medical science with voodoo, but it took a lot of skill, perseverance, and determination to do what you did today. So, thanks for saving John." Rodney stated in a quiet, somewhat subdued voice.
"Aye. I hope it was enough, laddie. He's still got a rough road ahead of him." The doctor cautioned.
"Well, we'll all be there for him every step of the way." McKay cleared his throat and glanced at his watch. "So, do you think it is safe to assume the rest of your medical staff is done poking and prodding the poor major so we can finally see him."
Beckett checked the time on his watch also. "Aye, I think they should have Major Sheppard settled by now. Come on, Rodney. Let's go see how he is faring." The Scotsman tipped his head in the direction of the SICU and headed out of the examination room towards the waiting area to get the rest of the group with McKay following closely behind.
When the four were finally ushered into the intensive care unit and brought to the major's bedside, they were shocked by the number of monitors and equipment hooked up to the injured man. Lying unnaturally still and pale, Sheppard had a myriad of wires and tubes connecting his body to the various medical equipment. An IV line trailed down one arm while a transfusion line went down the other. Various catheters and drainage lines also snaked out from beneath the blanket covering his prone form. Monitors surrounding the bed displayed EKG, EEG, and blood pressure readings with a steady, reassuring cadence of sound. Most disconcerting was the respirator hose that partly obscured the major's face as it did its job of breathing for the unconscious man. Although Beckett had assured them the ventilator was only to ease the stress on Sheppard's injured lungs, it unnerved them to not see their friend breathing entirely on his own.
What little of Sheppard's face they could see around the respirator and the bandage covering his head wound was discolored by bruises and scratches. The pallor of his skin only served to emphasize the dark circles under his eyes, which were only a few shades lighter than his tussled hair. One of his legs was propped up by an extra pillow and covered in a cast that extended to just below his knee. Never in all the times the team had seen the major in the infirmary had he ever looked so frail and broken. His present condition was in such contrast to his normal vitality and vigor that the four visitors practically let out a collective gasp when they first approached his bedside.
"Don't let all the bruises and swelling bother you over much. They may look a wee bit nasty, but they should heal quite nicely in no time. It is the injuries you cannot see that are the most worrisome." Carson informed the group when he noticed their startled expressions as they surrounded the bed.
"He looks so weak Dr. Beckett. It is disheartening to see a warrior such as the major like this." Teyla said in concern as she looked upon her team leader.
As he watched his CO, Ford added. "I know what Teyla means. I have to keep checking the monitors to remind myself he is still alive. It's hard to see a man usually so full of energy lying so still."
"Carson, John is going to be fine isn't he? The fact that he made it this far has to be a good sign doesn't it?" Elizabeth looked up at the doctor hopefully.
"There's always hope where there is still life, lassie. The major won't give up too easily. We just have to be patient and give his body the time it needs to heal. If we can keep any complications from setting in, he has a fighting chance." Beckett answered.
"Carson is right. Sheppard always ends up smelling like a rose no matter what the nature of the trouble he finds himself in. He'll pull through. You cannot keep a man like the major down for long." McKay reassured the others.
"Aye. Now I don't want to spoil the party, but now that you have seen him, it would be best if you all would go get some rest yourselves. You all look done in, and if you don't get some sleep, you won't be any good to anyone. There is nothing you can do for the major for the time being. He needs peace and quiet in order to heal. I will let you see him again in the morning for a wee bit. Now be off with you. Doctor's orders now." Carson ignored their mild protests and started shooing all but Elizabeth out of the infirmary.
Seeing the logic in Beckett's request, Teyla urged Ford and McKay along also. "Dr. Beckett is right. The major needs to rest and will be monitored closely. I am sure the medical staff will notify us if there is any change in his condition. Come. Let us get to bed ourselves. I think it is best that Dr. Weir be allowed to have a few minutes with Major Sheppard alone."
As Ford and McKay filed out of the room followed by Beckett, Teyla turned back briefly to Elizabeth and touched her gently on the shoulder. "Who is to say whether the major cannot still sense that you are here? Why don't you talk to him, Dr. Weir? I think it would be beneficial to his recovery if he could hear your voice and know that you are near."
Elizabeth looked up and met the knowing gaze of the Athosian. Nodding in appreciation of her support and friendship, she patted the hand resting on her shoulder before Teyla too took her leave.
"Thank you, Teyla. Don't worry, I will stay here with John so he is not alone through the night."
A few minutes after escorting Ford, McKay, and Teyla out of the SICU, Dr. Beckett headed into his office to grab a much-needed cup of coffee and finish up his patient's medical charts when he spotted Kavanaugh as he came charging through the medical bay entrance. The scientist had cornered a nurse and was demanding that she locate Dr. Weir immediately. Not wanting to witness the conceited man harangue a valued member of his staff, the doctor rushed over to intervene.
"Look here, Dr. Kavanaugh, I will not be having you disturb my patients or harass my staff. So if you are not in need of medical attention, laddie, I strongly suggest you leave my infirmary." Beckett warned the haughty scientist.
"I have a right to speak to Dr. Weir. I have a legitimate complaint to file against Dr. McKay for bodily assault against my person." Kavanaugh whined.
"Aye, you can do that later through the proper channels in Dr. Weir's office. It can wait until she is released from my care." Carson insisted.
He certainly did not want the annoying man in front of him to unduly upset or anger Elizabeth with his petty grievances. Normally, she could easily put Kavanaugh in his place, but the day's emotionally traumatic events were more than enough for her to handle right now in the doctor's professional and personal opinions. Beckett would do anything to see that she was allowed privacy and not be distracted from her time with the major.
Kavanaugh persisted nonetheless. "With all due respect, I feel differently, Dr. Beckett. What I have to say to Dr. Weir is of the utmost importance and cannot wait until later."
Carson was about to lose his patience with the man. He was exhausted and concerned for the welfare of his gravely injured friend and colleague who was lying comatose in the next room. He had no time or energy to deal with the trumped up allegations of this disagreeable, self-righteous narcissist. He could see why Rodney had lost control and decked him in the jaw.
"Listen, laddie. I won't be asking you politely again to leave my patients alone. Either you go quietly and take your complaints elsewhere, or I may be forced to use the biggest enema I can find to remove whatever obstruction is lodged up that skinny arse of yours."
Kavanaugh opened his mouth to protest further but quickly closed it again when he noticed the Scotsman was staring him down as if daring him to continue so he could make good on his threat. Glaring back momentarily at the usually mild-mannered doctor, the chemist evidently decided not to pursue the matter. Instead, he cut short his tirade and turning abruptly, he strode out of medical bay. Before he left, he shot a parting retort in Beckett's direction.
"Fine! But mark my words, Doctor Beckett. Dr. Weir will hear all about this in my report. I promise you."
"Aye, and I am sure it will make interesting reading at that, laddie. Good day to you." Carson cheerfully called out in reply. He chuckled slightly to himself as his response caused the departing scientist to throw him a disgusted look before he disappeared out into the hall.
Oblivious to the heated discussion going on between two of her colleagues in the next room, Elizabeth sat quietly alone with John. The only sounds that filtered to her ears were the soft, incessant beeps of the cardiac monitor next to the bed and the regular rhythmic hiss of the respirator. Looking at the man lying in the bed next to her, she thought about their final conversation with its emotional revelations. She reflected on the surprising confessions that passed between them before John's life had slowly slipped away while he was cradled in her very arms.
When did this one man become so important to her? When did her feelings change from friendship to something deeper and more profound? In the months since they first arrived through the stargate, she learned to trust his instincts and rely on his counsel. She depended on his quiet strength, and acknowledged his sharp intelligence. She also had come to enjoy his sardonic wit and devil-may-care attitude. At times she almost envied his innate ability to balance work with play even under the most stressful circumstances. He challenged her to be a better leader by showing her that listening to one's heart was just as important as using one's head.
She valued his friendship and worried about him most of all each time his team left on a mission. He always departed with a wave and a smile aimed up at her in the control room, and hers was the first face he looked for when they returned. When the major was off world, she never fully relaxed until he came back to Atlantis safe and sound. When he came back injured or sick, she was fraught with worry and heartache until he once again was well.
Elizabeth could not recall exactly when her feelings changed. It seemed as if her heart always beat a little quicker in his presence right from that fateful day he sat in the Ancient's chair in Antarctica. Whenever he was near, her spirit soared a little higher, and her soul felt that much more complete. Yet, until John Sheppard walked into her life, she did not even notice something had been missing. She not only had a fulfilling career that kept her challenged and busy, but also a relationship back on Earth that she once thought made her happy. But when the opportunity to find Atlantis was handed to her, she jumped at the chance to venture to the Pegasus galaxy without once looking back.
Elizabeth knew Simon deserved a better goodbye than the videotape she left him. But because part of her could sense their rapport was becoming strained even before she abruptly departed, she decided to avoid any possible tearful or angry goodbyes and make a clean, if not cowardly break. If she were honest with herself, she would admit she never truly loved Simon. She tried to convince herself that she did, but when they were together she still felt a vague, nagging emptiness within her. Nothing seemed to fill the void. Not work, not travel, not family, not friends, not even Simon. Nothing or no one ever completely made her feel whole. Until now.
Elizabeth never gave much credence to the idea of soul mates until this maverick pilot entered her life and took a walk in her soul. With his cocky grin, his permanently tousled hair, and his warm green eyes, he stole his way past her defenses and captured her heart in ways no one ever had before. Yet, she still was hesitant to act on her feelings. Elizabeth rationalized all the reasons why a relationship between her and the major could not work. She was civilian, he was military. She was his boss, he was her subordinate. Technically, there were no written regulations that banned such alliances, but open fraternization was frowned upon. As leader of this expedition, she took her responsibilities seriously. Elizabeth convinced herself that she could not afford to do anything that would undermine her authority or create a conflict of interest where team members were concerned. So she hid her feelings and kept their relationship on a purely professional level as did he.
Elizabeth did not know what the future held for their budding relationship if John recovered. Not if, when...WHEN he recovered she mentally corrected. Maybe he would regret his declaration to her. After all, he admitted his feelings under great duress. She would not hold him to any promises given under those conditions. Not when she herself was unsure of the next step that they should take. Part of her so wanted to throw caution to the wind and explore what they could truly mean to each other, especially in light of how close she had come to losing John for good. But another part of her--the more rational part--was still reluctant to take their relationship to the next level. Theirs was not a safe or secure existence. They were still strangers to this galaxy. They were cut off from Earth and surviving by only sheer luck, perseverance, and their own ingenuity. The never-ending threat from the Wraith made it difficult to plan too far ahead or even think about an uncertain future. Yet, perhaps this was the very reason that they should make the most of every moment and enjoy what they had. Maybe it was time to live for today for tomorrow might never come.
As Elizabeth sat quietly holding John's still hand, she made a promise to herself and to him that she would no longer fear getting hurt. She would no longer wait for someday, because someday was now. Who knew if they would ever have another opportunity to share something so special. She did not intend to waste another chance. So Elizabeth heeded Teyla's advice and spoke to the unconscious man before her. Not sure if he could somehow hear her words, she nevertheless told him how much he meant to her. She talked about how she appreciated everything he had done, even the little gestures he probably thought had gone unnoticed. She mentioned how much she enjoyed their balcony chats, the funny jokes he told her, the stolen glances and touches when they thought no one was watching, the way he stood beside her no matter what. She even told him she found their infrequent differences of opinion stimulating and the banter between him and Rodney to be at times quite amusing. Most of all, she told him how much she needed him and how alone she would be if he were gone. She didn't know how long she continued, nor did she care. All that mattered was that she finally found a way to open her heart and let John know just how she felt.
When Carson came into the SICU unit later that evening to check on both his patients, he found Elizabeth asleep in the chair at John's bedside with her head resting on her arms, one hand still clasping the major's arm. Quietly approaching so as not to disturb the slumbering woman, he carefully placed a blanket over her shoulders. A quick glance at the monitors by the bedside assured him the injured man was holding his own. He smiled knowingly as he looked one last time at the sleeping couple before he turned and walked softly out of the room, leaving the pair alone in peace.
Over the next few days, Elizabeth rarely left John's side. Only when one of the major's team members came to hold their own vigil, did she leave and only then to quickly shower, eat, or relay instructions to Peter and the rest of her staff. Every other moment was spent in the infirmary sitting at his bedside. They all were greatly relieved when Sheppard made it past those critical first two days with his vital signs slowly growing stronger. On the third day, Beckett was able to remove the respirator and replace it with a nasal cannula. Although Sheppard still remained unconscious, his body continued to gradually heal. They were elated when Carson pronounced a day later that the major should eventually make a full recovery. His brain scans showed normal activity and indicated a return to consciousness could be expected any day now. At this point, it was up to John to decide when it was time to wake up.
It was sometime in the early evening five days after his surgery that Elizabeth was dozing as she sat in her usual spot by the bed. She had fallen into a light sleep while going over some daily reports and schedules. As she rested in the chair, her laptop remained propped against her knees, the data she had been scanning still displaying on the monitor. She was roused by a soft moan emanating from the patient lying next to her. Quickly putting her laptop aside, Elizabeth got out of her chair and leaned over to check on the injured man as he slowly regained consciousness. Peering down at his face, she smiled when she saw that his eyes were finally open, and he was looking at her.
(TBC)