A few nights later, Lorelai was in the middle of another disaster. After she had picked Rory up from the police station (Rory! At a police station!), gotten donuts from Luke, and put Rory to bed, she sat on her couch and stared at the wall. She had no idea what to do. Rory still hadn't told her the whole story, and Lorelai couldn't seem to find a way to connect with her. She'd never had to deal with this kind of stuff before, and for a split second, thought about what it must have been like for her parents. Is this why they couldn't communicate? Had they also sat around, dumbfounded, wondering how on earth they were going to handle their daughter?
Tired of thinking about it, she started for the stairs, only to be stopped in her tracks by a soft knock on the door. When she opened it, she was not surprised at all to see Luke, just standing there, with those eyes. The second she saw him, she lost her resolve, and collapsed into his arms. She hated when she did this, when she lost it like this, especially in front of Luke, but she couldn't help it. She really needed a hug, and Luke was there to give her one, plain and simple, no questions asked.
Seeing him now, she realized how much she needed him, and she hoped she hadn't sounded too ungrateful earlier. As much as Luke wanted to help, she knew that handling Rory was something she needed to do on her own. It was something she always had done on her own, and for the most part, it seemed to work well that way.
As if reading her mind, Luke broke the silence with, "Hey. I know you said you didn't need any help, and I respect that, but I just came over to bring you something."
Lorelai stepped away from him and wiped the tears away. "What?"
"You have to let me in first."
"Right, right, sorry. I kind of attacked you there."
Luke closed the door and took off his jacket, making himself comfortable. He reached into his back pocket, producing a napkin from the diner with the words, "I love Lorelai Gilmore. Don't tell anyone" written on it. Lorelai took one look at what he was trying to hand to her, and rolled her eyes.
"Oh, man," she said, giggling, "I knew you were never going to shut up about that."
"I just don't understand why you would want to keep a stupid napkin."
"Oh, you want to play that game? Ok, tough guy, give me your wallet."
"What?" exclaimed Luke, "No way."
Lorelai was not taking no for an answer, and reached into his back pocket, brandishing his wallet. "Wow, that was way too easy," she mumbled.
"I'm letting you win because you're sad," said Luke, "now give that back to me."
"No way!" said Lorelai, flying up the stairs with his wallet in her hand. Luke had no choice but to follow her.
Lorelai, with Luke hot her heels, ran into her bedroom and plopped on the bed, closing the door behind them.
She started rifling through his wallet, pulling out a twenty. "Hmm… a twenty… that's all you have?"
"Really? I thought I had more than that. Oh that's right, I must've given that hundred to the woman who left my apartment this morning. What was her name? Brandi? Staci? Something like that. Nice girl."
"Ok, now I'm keeping this, thanks," said Lorelai as she slipped the bill into her pocket.
She continued to search through his wallet, completely fascinated by the idea of searching through Luke's stuff, while Luke was absolutely horrified, because he knew exactly what she was about to find and that he was desperately losing at this game. She pulled out a tiny piece of paper, pretending to be shocked.
"Oh, and what's this? I believe this is a horoscope I gave you… what was that? EIGHT YEARS AGO? What are you still doing with this stupid thing? Throw this away."
"Not a chance. That horoscope is the reason we're sitting here right now. You think you ever would've slept with me if I hadn't told you that story?"
"Yeah, how many women have you said that to?"
"You would like to know, wouldn't you?"
Tired of this game, and a little bit insulted, Lorelai looked down into his wallet again, pretty convinced she had already found everything she was going to, when she pulled out a wallet sized photo – of her and Rory when Rory was a baby. She held it up for a few seconds, and then looked at Luke in wonder.
"How do you have this? I don't even have this."
"You gave it to me."
"I did?"
"You said you hated the way you looked in it, so in an effort to clean out your photo album, you were giving them out to everyone you hated."
"Nice."
"I thought so."
She continued to look through his wallet, amazed at the amount of crap he managed to keep in there. Just as she was about to give up, she spotted what looked like a used tissue crumpled in the corner. She carefully pulled it out, not wanting to come into contact with whatever germs it held, and waved it in his direction.
"Luke, I think you have a –" she stopped, because as it unfolded, she realized it was the napkin she had written on a few days before. Oh, he was so not getting away with that one.
"Well, well, well. What have we here? Is this or this not my handwriting?"
"Gimme that!" grumbled Luke, grabbing the napkin out of her hand as he begun to shove everything back into was wallet. "I am so going through your purse."
This thought horrified Lorelai. For some reason, it was ok when it was Luke's stuff, and it totally flattered her to know that he was so sentimental, but the last thing she wanted was for Luke to know exactly what she kept in that purse of hers. She couldn't take the idea of him knowing that she had saved the cork from the champagne on their first date, or the tag from the mattress he had helped her move, or the receipt from the first time he had served her coffee. And she really couldn't take him knowing that she felt the need to carry all that crap around with her every day.
Putting his wallet back in its rightful place, Luke got up and started walking towards the door, in an effort to retrieve Lorelai's purse from downstairs. Lorelai blocked his exit, and reached up and pulled the hat off his head, "and by the way," she started again, "I believe I bought you this here baseball cap, that you wear every single day and never take off…" she finished that sentence with a kiss, hoping to distract him enough that he would forget all about his little trip downstairs. It worked momentarily, until Luke abruptly pulled away and tried to get around her. She grabbed him by his belt buckle, and then proceeded to take it off, mumbling, "I believe I bought you this belt as well…"
"What's your point, Gilmore?" Luke was having a hard time speaking, because Lorelai was already unbuttoning his pants.
"You owe me a lot of money."
"You still have my twenty bucks," Luke muttered. He was quickly losing track of this conversation while Lorelai did that thing she did with her lips on his neck.
"You'll get it back," she whispered into his ear, at which point they both completely lost interest in the rest of the conversation and tumbled back onto the bed.
It felt really good to be wanted, Lorelai thought, as their clothing was quickly discarded, and Luke had certainly succeeded in cheering her up. She wasn't sure if there was anyone else in the world who could do that just by coming over uninvited and offering nothing but his company. She remembered telling Michel that the only reason she was accepting Mike Armstrong's gifts was because it was nice to be wanted. She forgot that she already had that, right in front of her.
Later, Luke was sound asleep and Lorelai was restless. Sometime in the last few days, they had switched roles – Lorelai found she couldn't sleep her life away anymore, and Luke had made peace with whatever he was wrestling with at night. She crept downstairs and sat down at the kitchen table with a pint of Ben and Jerry's, staring forlornly at Rory's room, and wondering what was going to happen. Rory seemed apologetic about her incident, and they seemed to be on the same page regarding fixing the situation, but something was still off. She knew there were still details Rory hadn't told her, and she had a strange sense of foreboding about the days to come. However, she was already feeling a little bit more upbeat about tackling whatever it was, and she had only Luke to thank for that.
On a whim, she got a dollar bill out of the 'rainy day' fund, and wrote on it with a Sharpie.
Here's your money back. Don't spend it all in one place.
You're a lifesaver (like the candy!). Thank you.
Surveying her note, she decided that it was sufficient, and went upstairs to slip it into his wallet.
The next day, after barely surviving the hell instigated by everyone with the last name 'Gilmore,' Lorelai drove down the highway between Hartford and Stars Hollow, blasting the radio, wondering what had happened. Where had she gone wrong, she thought, that her perfect, smart, beautiful daughter had messed up so royally? What kind of mother was she that she had let her daughter do this? And then it occurred to her that she was a great mother, the best in fact, and that this time, perhaps Rory's misgivings were completely her own. That fact saddened her even more, because she knew there was nothing she could do about it. That didn't mean she wasn't going to try though. Lorelai could live with the slight attitude problem Rory was sporting at the moment. She could even live with the boyfriend from hell Rory had. What she could not live with was Rory dropping out of school simply because it was too hard, or whatever she thought. She was not going to let Rory screw up her life like that. She had never let her quit like that before, and she wasn't going to now. She just had no idea how she was going to get Rory to listen. Especially not with the royal family hanging around over there, trying to convince Rory that she was destined to become Princess of Genovia or whatever.
Lorelai walked into the diner in a daze, already on autopilot. "Rory's dropping out of Yale," she announced, telling Luke of her and Rory's ruined plans.
"I know you think you have this under control, but I can help," said Luke, with such determination it startled her.
It dawned on her that to love her was to love Rory just as much, something that Luke had probably understood way before she did, which already put him way ahead of the game. She couldn't remember another man, even Christopher, taking such an interest in Rory's life. In fact, she couldn't remember anyone taking such an interest in her life. She had always made a point of handling everything herself, because she had to. And now here was Luke, telling her that she, in fact, didn't have to handle everything herself.
As Luke was ranting (did he just say he wanted to kidnap Rory? She had kind of tuned out), it hit her. This was it, this was what she had been looking for. Suddenly, all of the little things he had done for her, and for Rory for that matter flashed through her mind, and didn't seem so little anymore. In fact, it was just occurring to her that they had done seemingly little things for each other for so long, that she couldn't remember what life had been like before him, and she didn't care to. The moments flashed through her mind like a slideshow, so vivid they made her current situation seem unimportant.
The time he had baked a cake for Rory's 16th birthday. When he dropped everything to help her find Rory's escaped science project, even though he thought she had gone completely nutty. The chuppah he had built for her, even though she now knew how much that must have killed him, still decorating her front lawn. The time he offered to singlehandedly rid her house of termites. Attending Rory's graduation. Moving Rory's stuff into her dorm. Lending her money and a shoulder to cry on just so she could achieve her dreams. Bringing her food when she was simply too lazy or overworked to walk the half mile to the diner. Not letting her get away with her usual array of bullshit.
Buying his father's boat, even though she knew it would start an argument. Arranging Louie's funeral. Helping him find an apartment so he and Jess wouldn't kill each other, even though she could care less whether Jess lived or not. Picking him up from jail (what was with people calling her from jail?). Not letting him get away with his usual array of bullshit. The list went on and on, and suddenly, everything made sense, and she couldn't believe she was only now realizing this.
Listening to him talk about Rory as if she were his daughter, she had to admit that he could probably kick Rory's ass much more effectively than she could. And that was what she needed. Someone to pick up the slack. Someone to talk some sense into her daughter when it all became too much for her to handle on her own. Wasn't that what she had always wanted? A partner in crime? Maybe Tevye and Golde had it right, she mused. Spending 25 years sharing your bed with someone, starving together, fighting with each other, cooking for someone – if that wasn't love, what was? The realization hit her like a ton of bricks, and she didn't notice that she was gazing at Luke as if he had suddenly turned into George Clooney.
Her gaze made Luke stop talking. She looked like either she had had too much to drink, or she was plotting her evil revenge on Rory and her parents. Either way, the situation wasn't looking very good to him. "What?" he inquired, as gently as he could muster. He didn't want to lose momentum, for he still had a lot to say about Rory's temporary bought with stupidity of the Paris Hilton variety, but he worried that Lorelai was really losing it.
Luke's sudden change in tone pulled Lorelai out of her reverie and back into the moment. She stared at him a second longer. "Luke will you marry me?" she blurted, before she could stop herself. Despite the fact that her heart rate skyrocketed at hearing those words come out of her own mouth, it felt right. No one else was going to understand her the way Luke did, and besides, if she waited for Luke to suggest marriage, it might take another nine years. Luke looked as taken aback as she felt, though the look on her face said the opposite.
"What?" he asked again. He could not believe what he was hearing. Something like, "I'm going to kill my parents" would have been more apropos in this situation. Nowhere in this conversation was he expecting a marriage proposal. Is that what that was? Man, Lorelai's brain worked in strange ways. Not that this was surprising to him, but of all the non-sequitors, that's what came out of her mouth? She couldn't possibly mean that, could she?
"What about the mulling?" said Luke, much to his chagrin. Nice one, Danes.
"What?" Now it was Lorelai's turn to be dumbfounded.
"The meeting, with the job and the bath products and the mulling." Luke couldn't believe he was bringing this up now, but his uncertainties got the better of him. They still hadn't come to an agreement about the house, or what they would do if Lorelai was in fact pregnant, or even where they were going to have dinner the next night.
Lorelai couldn't help but smile at Luke's unfounded insecurities. "I'm not selling the inn, Luke."
"But I –"
Before he got a chance to finish, Kirk and Taylor, followed by about twenty sweaty cyclists came loudly bursting in to the diner. Kirk and Taylor were mid argument. Damn, thought Luke, did I not remember to lock that door? Before he knew what was happening, the crazies had taken over all of his tables, and Lorelai was nowhere in sight. He considered calling Lane so he could take care of the Lorelai situation, but decided to let it marinate for a while instead.
Meanwhile, after they had been interrupted by Stars Hollow's own version of Lenny and Squiggy, Lorelai had to get out of there. She didn't have the patience to wait around while Kirk and Taylor finished arguing about exactly what time the bike race had finished. The look on Luke's face when she had asked him to marry her told her all she needed to know, and she wasn't ready to face that rejection yet.
She went home, changed into pajamas, and threw herself onto her bed. Had she really proposed to Luke? She couldn't believe that her amazing ability to say the wrong thing at the wrong time had possibly messed up the best relationship she ever had, yet again. What was wrong with her? And what was that look anyway? Was he shocked? Angry? Confused? She wasn't sure, but happiness definitely wasn't in there. Sure, Luke didn't exactly walk around smiling like the Cheshire cat, but she knew when he was happy and that wasn't it.
She desperately wanted Luke to know how much she needed him, wanted him to be there with her for the rest of her life. But did she have to say it like that? Did she have to scare the crap out of him, prompting him to never want to speak to this crazy woman again? Hadn't she promised him, a long time ago, that stealing his answering machine tape was the last crazy thing he would ever have to endure from her? And now she goes and does this? She had totally blindsided him with that proposal, and now she was expecting him to know exactly what to say? She knew that wasn't fair, yet she couldn't help expecting it. Talk about crazy, she thought, while she picked up her cell phone.
Halfway through dialing, she remembered, and almost hung up. But she decided to go through with it anyway, on the off chance that Rory would actually answer her phone. No such luck.
"This is Rory. Leave a message."
"Hey kid," Lorelai started, trying not to cry or sound upset. She didn't think it was working. "I think we really need to talk. Call me."
Lorelai hung up with an exaggerated sigh, and threw the phone against the wall, where it made an elaborate sqeaking noise, and then died. She so desperately needed to talk to Rory right now, but no way in hell was she getting back in her car and driving all the way back to Hartford. If Rory wanted to talk to her, she could call her, or come over, or e-mail her, none of which she'd been very good at doing recently. Lorelai knew she was being dramatic, but she couldn't help herself. She turned out the lights and cried herself to sleep, forgetting all about the dead cell phone sitting on her floor.
Later that night, when Kirk, Taylor, and their posse had all left and Luke had finally finished cleaning the diner and convincing himself that Lorelai was not, in fact, coming back, he trudged up the stairs to his apartment and threw himself on his bed. He had no idea why Lorelai had run out like that, but if he knew her at all, he knew that her disappearance signified that, for whatever reason, she must be pretty angry with him right now. He almost got up and ran over to her house, but decided against it, picking up the phone instead. She didn't answer her house phone, and her cell was turned off, which pretty much confirmed his fear that she wasn't interested in talking to him.
He knew he should have followed her earlier, but he absolutely could not bear the thought of leaving Kirk and Taylor alone in his diner. One of them might take their shirts off or something. Besides, he wasn't exactly sure what he was going to say to her. Of course he wanted nothing more than to whisk her away somewhere, marry her, and spend his life with her. But he still wasn't entirely convinced that's what she wanted. What if she decided, two years from now that she was bored of Stars Hollow, sold her inn after all and spent her time traveling everywhere, without him? What if Christopher showed up again, and she decided that she needed to be with him after all? He was pretty sure chances of that happening were null and void, and that now he was just making excuses, but still, you never know.
Besides, he couldn't say yes now if she was going to be this angry with him. Obviously he had not said the right thing earlier, but she had completely blindsided him with her proposal and he was surprised. Good surprised, but still. He needed to tell her all of this, but he couldn't if she wasn't going to answer her damn phone, he thought. Maybe if they both slept on it, they would be more rational in the morning, he thought, as another idea came to him, and he got up and flew out the door.
When he approached Lorelai's house, it was completely dark, save for the lights in her jeep that she had left on. He didn't have patience to locate the spare key, so he tried the door, and sure enough, it was unlocked, as usual. He bypassed getting angry about the open door, and went right to rummaging through Lorelai's kitchen. He finished his task quickly, and then snuck back out just as quietly as he came in. On his way out, he also turned on the porch light and turned off the lights in Lorelai's Jeep.
The next morning, Luke woke up with a nagging feeling in his gut. He wasn't even sure he had slept at all, but either way, something was bothering him. He still hadn't talked to Lorelai after they were rudely interrupted by the Stars Hollow mental institution and she ran out. He knew it must be killing her that he hadn't answered her question yet, but he had a plan, dammit. Besides, if she was actually mad at him, and was going to yell at him, well, that could wait. He had other things on his mind that he thought were more important to resolve first.
Before he could stop himself, he was in his truck driving towards Hartford, with a box full of food on the passenger seat, and a gift wrapped book sitting next to it. The last thing in the world he wanted to do was have any kind of contact with Richard and Emily Gilmore, but he had to make sure Rory was ok. If she and Lorelai were not speaking, something told Luke that Rory probably wasn't doing so well, and he had to see for himself what the problem was. Plus, he knew firsthand that spending any kind of time at all with Richard and Emily could lead to disaster, and if Rory had to spend all day hanging out with them, the least he could do was bring her some greasy food to eat and possibly something to read, although he was pretty sure she already owned every book known to man.
He pulled up to the Gilmore mansion, and tried to figure out if there was a way to get to the pool house without being discovered by the owners of said mansion. He poked around a bit, and immediately found Rory lounging by the pool in a skimpy bikini. He watched her for a second, wondering when the hell Rory had gotten old enough to wear a bathing suit like that, and when the hell she had even bought that. Upon second glance though, he realized that he recognized the bathing suit, and that it probably belonged to Lorelai, and then he wondered whether Lorelai knew that Rory had borrowed it. He also found himself thinking that women share weird things…
"…Luke!"
"Hi Rory."
"What are you doing standing there like that? You scared the crap out of me."
"Oh, uh, sorry. I brought you some food. I thought you might need it, you know, after eating foie gras three meals a day over here."
"Thanks," said Rory, getting up and pulling on a T shirt and shorts.
"Could we, maybe, go inside for a few minutes?" Luke was suddenly very uncomfortable and wondered what the hell he had even been thinking in the first place.
Rory looked at him quizzically, but obliged. "Uh, sure. Come on."
Luke grabbed the box and followed Rory into the pool house, and looked around in amazement. The place was bigger than his apartment and Lorelai's house combined, and it was only meant for lounging in between swimming and sipping martinis or whatever rich people did? He couldn't believe it. He quickly regained his composure though, and started putting the food away in Rory's fridge. He couldn't believe he was putting food away in a fridge that belonged to Rory, but not Lorelai.
"So how's it going over here at chez Gilmore?" he asked, trying to hide his disdain.
Rory wasn't buying it, though. "Does mom know you're here?" she said as a response.
"No, and I'd like to keep it that way please."
"Really?"
"Really. I just wanted to make sure you're ok."
"I'm ok," Rory said, a little too quickly. "Thanks Luke."
Luke finished putting all the food away, and leaned on the refrigerator. "So can I ask you something?"
Rory didn't say anything, which Luke took as permission to talk to her anyway.
"You like my burgers, right?"
"Way to fish for compliments there, buddy. You trying out a new recipe or something?"
"I'm serious."
"Yes, Luke, I love your burgers. Why do I all of a sudden feel like that annoying little kid from The Cosby Show – you know, the one who didn't even belong to the Huxtables yet still always had to sit through Cliff's lectures?"
"Do you want to know how long it took me to get those burgers right?"
Rory rolled her eyes, but played along anyway. "How long?"
"Three years, ten months, 2 days and 2 hours."
Rory burst out laughing. She couldn't stop. "Seriously, Luke? How hard is it to make a hamburger?"
"Have you ever tried?"
"Good point."
Rory considered this for a moment, and decided that despite the fact that she felt like she was about to reenact a scene from a bad 80's sitcom, she really did want to know more about Luke's life. She realized, right then, that she never had taken the time to find out how he ended up where he did, which, when she thought about it, was actually a really good place for him.
"Did you always want to own a diner?" asked Rory, knowing how dorky she sounded, and also knowing that she might not get much of a response.
"Me? No way. I mean, I loved helping my dad out at the store, and always wanted to work there, but mainly because I wanted to be like him. It's not like I ran around Stars Hollow telling everyone what I wanted to be when I grew up," Luke added pointedly
"I did that once," Rory retorted.
"And every Halloween, when you would put on your mother's glasses, carry a pencil around and tell everyone you were an ace reporter."
"Are you going to continue the story or not?"
"When my dad died, I realized I didn't love the hardware business like he did. I mean, can you imagine, loving the hardware business? What is so fascinating about selling toilet plungers and screwdrivers all day long? Can you imagine trying to explain the difference between a Phillips head and flathead to people like Kirk all day long?"
Rory's face was blank.
"Right. Anyhow, I knew how to cook, so I turned the store into a diner. I thought it would be more fun."
"Was it?"
"Not really," admitted Luke, "but at least I tried it, and still managed to keep my dad's store around." Rory didn't say anything, still contemplating Luke's words, when Luke remembered that he'd had the same conversation with Lorelai a few years back. He remembered telling her that Rory looked up to her the same way he once looked up to his dad.
They stared at each other a few seconds longer, at a loss for what to say next. Rory got up and fidgeted, and Luke could tell she wanted to be left alone. He started for the door, but not before he reached into the bottom of the box and handed Rory the book he had so expertly gift wrapped with newspaper and some tin foil.
"I know it's not, like, professionally gift wrapped or anything, but I thought you might want something to read. Not that you don't own every book known to man, but sometimes you need a new perspective on an old one."
"Thanks, Luke," said Rory, completely blown away by his gesture, and started to pick at the wrapping.
"You can open it after I leave. Mushy stuff makes me kind of queasy."
"Got it."
With that, Luke was out the door and back in his truck, headed back to Stars Hollow. It took all of Rory's strength not to cry like a five year old and beg him to take her home with him. She could really use her bed right now, she thought, that was if her mother hadn't turned it into a sewing room or something yet. Instead, she opened the book Luke had given her and looked at the cover. It was a well worn copy of Pippi Longstocking, probably from the 50's – perhaps even a first edition, thought Rory. She was impressed. She opened it, and saw the scribbling on the inside front cover.
Rory,
I found this in my apartment, buried between my old baseball glove and my sister's pot stash (don't ask). It must have belonged to my mother.
You're an amazing kid, just like Pippi. Don't lose heart.
Love,
Luke
Not knowing what to do with herself, Rory did the only thing she could muster. She choked back the tears, put the book on the shelf, next to the textbooks she had just brought from school, and went back outside to forget that the last few days had even happened.