DISCLAIMER: see chapter one
A/N: Well here is eight; I hope this love stuff isn't becoming too daunting… hope you enjoy, happy Memorial Day (week end) -RaeAnne
CHAPTER EIGHT
Morning light wakes me; I shift so I can see my wife as she dreams, so peacefully on my chest.
I love her so much I almost hurt. My body aches to hold her, though I already do. My heart can't take it, I just want to wrap her in my love and melt away…away from the galaxy, away from the Force, away from all contact. The thought of being away from her scares me, and I know when we enter our respective lives our time will be limited; it will never be as it is now.
I slowly untangle myself from her, she doesn't wake, only stirring, murmuring my name. I dress quietly, watching her sleep all the while. She moves a little, arm reaching out to where I had been, she moans and scoots her head into my pillow.
I lean down and kiss her forehead, "I love you."
As quietly as I can I open one of the double doors letting the warm breeze in, the sunshine is mild and welcoming.
Sinking into a chair, I observe as bees buzz here and there among the roses; nature at work. I don't regret a thing, well maybe that we didn't act sooner; I stare at the powdery blue sky that holds scarcely a cloud I am filled with certainty.
"Like sky and water," I smile; I think I finally understand my own analogy. She is the sky; full of grace and beauty…she encompasses my world. Like the sky, she can be peaceful, but she can also be stormy, she is the sky because she can never be contained, she can never be taken away, she will always surround me.
"My sky, my hope my love…my wife," I mutter.
"My rippling water, my saving grace, reflection of my soul, my love and my husband," her warm voice floats on the heavily scented breeze.
"Good morning, love," I turn to look at her. She is in her nightgown, I am so very glad I am only one who sees her in this…I would be very jealous, and most likely violent towards any man who would see her in this.
"Good morning," she answers coming over to me. She reaches out running a hand through my hair as she leans against the side of my chair.
I catch her hand and pull her into my lap.
"Obi-Wan!" she giggles.
"Yes?"
"What was it exactly you were thinking about before I came out?" she tips her head, arms circling my neck.
"You," I lean forward kissing the most wonderful spot I discovered last night, "You know right here…right where your collar bone meets your neck…this little hollow," I grin nipping the skin ever so lightly.
"You know all the right places to make a girl swoon, you know that right?"
"Only you baby."
She rolls her eyes and groans, "I missed you when I woke up."
"I'm sorry darling; you were so beautiful I didn't want to wake you."
"Hmm," she tilts her head back giving me access to her perfect neck.
"Well, it seems you were thinking about water and sky huh?" her voice is low and husky eyes fluttering shut as my lips move lower.
"Yes…you are the sky and I am the water…" I manage between kisses.
"Yes, I'll agree with that. You are the water I can't live without, you sustain me, and you make my dry soul flourish. You are the rapids of water that toss me about showing me passion and desire, but also the calm lake that ripples gently, showing me care, patience and deliberation as you love me passed the point of comprehension. I see my reflection in your dark waters, I see a soul that echoes mine, and I see my hope, my truth, my love…and light…" she kisses me hard.
"Indeed, water and sky."
"Padme…can you come here for a minute?" I call her from her gardening later in the day.
"Yes, just a second," she pats, into place a new Moon Flower bush.
I put down my lightsaber and meet her in the middle of the courtyard where moments ago I had been practicing.
"I want to teach you something," I take her hands.
"Alright."
"When we go to Coruscant we'll be in the presences of Jedi who will be able to sense…sense us. It is what they are trained to do. They won't be looking for it, but if emotion is obvious, they will sense it. Anakin…he will hard to stop, he will try hard to connect with you," I lace and unlace my fingers with hers.
"We did nothing wrong…" she whispers eyes focusing on our hands.
She is attuned to me, it's shocking but wonderful, "I know, but Anakin does not like change," I sigh, "and I am still a Jedi, a Jedi who has broken a very big rule."
She nods.
"You need to further your ability of holding your thoughts at bay, concealing emotions. You are extremely good at it now, but still a marriage and all the things that go with it will be hard to hide, especially if someone were determined enough."
I step back a few steps, widening the distance between us, holding my palms out I beckon her to do the same, she does and they rest against mine.
As I stare into her eyes, trying to focus a thought hits me, "Honey, I want to try something, a theory if you will…" it's a long shot, crazy really, but just maybe…"I think perhaps, we can meet, your heart and mine in a force…a force of love…shall we try?"
She doesn't balk, doesn't comment but nods. I really don't a have a clue as to what I am doing, but surely it can't hurt.
"Close your eyes," I instruct. "Open you mind, feel your breathing, the air enter and exit…that's it. Now calm, let your thoughts go…that's right, now I want you not to think—just feel. Feel my touch, feel my pulse, shh now…reach out with your heart…" I feel her hands shake against mine. Her mind is calm, her heart is pounding.
"Come on—focus on me…I am right here…" I take one of her hands laying it against my heart. "Right here…Reach out…" I whisper letting myself sink into this new aura.
"I love you Padme…I love you…" my heart shouts.
"I…I…I love you too"
My eyes open with amazement.
"I heard you! I heard you!" she laughs swaying a bit, "I heard it, 'I love you Padme' just as clear as if you said it aloud!"
"Amazing, just amazing!" I hug her close.
"We have our own way of speaking to each other now, but we must be careful, we can't use it in the presence of Jedi yet, till we have a better grasp of it," I am so in awe I can barely think straight.
"I know," she sobers.
"Alright then, let's get to work on hiding your thoughts…" I step away.
We leave today; the atmosphere in the house is solemn. I watch her slowly pack her things, folding her clothes meticulously.
"We will, find a way," I say softly responding to her unvoiced question, her thoughts have been troubled, she wonders if we will be able to be together, if we will be able to make this work.
"Obi-Wan, I am nervous," she sighs sitting heavily on the bed.
"It will be okay, I promise, you trust me remember?" I grin kneeling in front of her.
"Aw, you know I do," she smiles softly.
I lean my head against her abdomen, loving her hands running though my hair.
"You and I will be okay, we will make it."
"I know, I just pray we don't hurt those we love in the process," she shivers.
She is thinking of Anakin, and I echo her worry, my heart giving it's own quake.
Only ten minutes from Coruscant, I can't believe I am making the jump back to reality. No more moonlit walks, no more long talks about nothing, no more just being.
"Remember what I taught you okay?" I engage our heart force.
Padme's eyes brighten as she looks across the transport to me.
"Of course. Remember I love you okay?"
I fight down a smile, "I can't forget... Remember when you see a handsome senator or any handsome man for that matter, you're mine and I love you."
She laughs aloud.
"Master Kenobi, we are making our landing," the captain comes over the intercom.
"Here we go," I send one last message, "Nothing more once we step off this space craft…understood?"
She nods and the ship bumps slightly as the landing gear engage.
"Ms. Amidala, we've arrived," I stand leading the way to the exit.
It is so strange to look over at my wife and see her stern expression, cold eyes, and absolute posture; she is aloof—to me. It's the way it has to be but I didn't realize it would be so painful. If I were to look at us now I would wonder if the last few weeks—the past week had even happened—the only proof at the moment is the shinning diamond hanging around her neck. I never realized when I gave her that necklace what an impact it would have on me, it reminding me of our love, our vows.
The exit ramp lowers slowly and we start down. Just as I had expected, Anakin, Master Windu and Supreme Chancellor Palpatine are here to greet us.
"Master! Amidala!" Anakin greets us warmly.
"My word Ani, you have grown up! I didn't believe it when Master Kenobi told me that you had…" she laughs hugging him. I watch them for a few seconds and I see my padawan's face ease, he does care for her…I fight back a tinge of jealousy.
"Good to have you back Obi-Wan," Master Windu shakes my hand.
"Thank you sir, it's good to be back," I nod trying to make my voice sound truly glad.
"Yes, it is good to have our newest senator here in one piece," Chancellor Palpatine gives a smile that to me seems more like a sneer. I hate politics, and I don't trust politicians, which seems ironic seeing as I am married to one…
"I'll be escorting Padme to her quarters Master Kenobi, your services are no longer required," Palpatine glares with that sickly charming smile, I don't know what it is about this one, it just makes my skin crawl.
"As you wish," I bow away gracefully.
Walking away from my wife without so much as a goodbye or a touch has to be one of the hardest things I've ever done. She doesn't look back, and I try and refuse to look forward. If I wasn't a Jedi, if I wasn't trapped in the moment of now I would let my mind wander back to the rainy day on Naboo…to the heaven where Padme and I dwell…if now only in our memories.
A/N:
ShadeShine: thank you, a compliment is always greatly appreciated and heart warming :-)
starnat Yeah, Padme and Obi-Wan just have that…thing. Some call it chemistry, others I've heard call it a spark…me I just call it true love. :-) Thanks for the review :-)
Sparkle85: Thank you:-)
TheAmazingTecnocolorRingWraith: LoL, prepared is certainly not how I would describe myself…I just love writing, I've been writing since I was in second grade…I'm now 19, so you can imagine the stacks of notebooks and loaded CD's I have with nothing but my over active imagination lol. Thank you for reviewing!
Jackwolf: I read the article, and it was indeed great! Obi-Wan is the man, and what a gorgeous man at that! Thanks for the recommendation.
I thought the undercurrents where more like sinking rapids in all the movies (when they had them together that is) and the stuff in I was the basis for this story.
The way Padme reacted when Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon jumped from the balcony, the way Obi-Wan reacted to finding out Padme was the Queen…there was so much that it was hard to miss, AOTC was my favorite of the first three I think, though III is a close runner up if not caught in a tie.
Episode II even had a bit in it as far as Obi/Padme undercurrents go, the most important I think is when Padme is so thrilled to see Obi-Wan, and clearly, it was him she was thrilled over since she didn't even recognize Anakin.
Episode III held a few, but impacting scenes. Them in her apartment, the ship, the hospital…I also found it a little thrilling that first person Padme suggested going to for help was Obi-Wan…evidence of a repressed emotional attachment? She feels safe with him; she put her trust in him, something I think she realized was a folly and completely misplaced in Anakin. Obi-Wan is a rock, he is solid and comforting, Padme wanted that; needed that. Over all I think the story (the real, though unconfirmed story) of Padme and Obi-Wan is that almost of Rome and Juliet, an ill fated love affair that didn't even get the chance to bloom… for many reasons, a love that could have been wonderful but for boundaries and rules, senate and council it was never realized. Horribly sad I think…
I haven't read any of the books, which is something because I love to read, it's just this I don't know phobia thing LoL I have the original paperback from Return of the Jedi (and I am sure the ANH and TESB somewhere) that had been my parents and I have read only a few pages… LOL
SuP3RG1R: Wow 5 times? Awesome girl! Me I am afraid I haven't had the time to see it but once; life, it's a pain sometimes! Though I have been seen more then once going through the t-shirt displays in the boys departments…it seems to be the ONLY
(aside from ebay and such) place to find Star Wars t-shirts! It makes me so mad! I swear it's like they think boys are the only ones that like Star Wars…I mean have they looked at Ewan? So being 19 (and female) and seen in the toy department, boys department, and heard arguing the finer points of the Jedi Galaxy I have received many a raised eyebrow… lol …and the fact I have been doing this since the new merchandise came out… And don't even get me started about going through the toys at Burger King…I do have an Obi-Wan now though…
Nyoko What fun you must have had, aside from the homework that is! I am glad that you're back now, thank you so much for the review, always so glad when people like my stories enough to come back :-)
Yeah, I am an ol' softy when it comes to weddings! I hope you and my story will be happy together for a very long time, may your love be one that lasts and lasts… (till at least the next chapter…or the last chapter of the last part ;-)
abcabc Oh dear, I didn't mean to kill you…how will you review my other chapters…oh dear what is a writer to do? LoL The white dress, I couldn't get away from, I tried to think of something else, but well it just fit :-)
Obi-Wan is perfect, yes so perfect it makes me sick, how in the world is any guy supposed to live up to that ideal? I mean really…every guy I am thinking "Nope, not cute enough…nope doesn't have that sweet dependable steady as rock heart or those make you drool blue eyes…no brown robes to shrug off and show those shoulders, doesn't have that voice that reduces me to a puddle…and he does not have a big enough lightsaber…" Yeah, Obi-Wan is perfect all right!
Tell me about it! When I saw Obi in the ship hands on hips I wanted to stand in my seat and cheer! Let's hear it for the boy! Let's hear for my baby! (sorry, throw back to that old Denise Williams song) I then felt my heart hit the floor when those words came "Let her go Anakin!" That scene was just amazing!
And get your mind out of the gutter…mine is already paying rent; I put the down payment on buying it Monday! LoL I certainly need a way of getting a hold of Obi-Wan and GOOD Anakin…yummy! LoL
Man, I need help, professional help, I wonder if Dr. Phil will do a special on obsessed Obi-Wan addicts which a severe need of a reality check…my last one bounced.
sassy-satine Thank you, always so complimentary, I am so grateful:-) Yeah a lot of lovey dovey stuff, I just love it! They don't have enough in the movies, so I go overboard I am afraid… :-)
Yeah, if we could just erase Anakin, life would be that much the better! A little less interesting perhaps…but better :-)
A/N: Wow, I think I spend just about as many words replying to reviews as I do in the chapter! I am so blessed to have such awesome readers! Thank you guys!