a/n: I know I said no more angst but I can't help it! Down with rainbows damn it, down with them!

Disclaimer: I do not own YuGiOh

Chapter 21: Tentative Decisions

It's been a week since Anzu last heard of Kaiba. A limo driver would come by her job every night to make sure that she came home safely. Angry that he did not come himself or that his driver had no message for her from him, Anzu would angrily take the bus instead or Lorena would take her home. Every night for the past week she denied the limo ride home. Even though she knew Kaiba wanted her to get home safely, she would rather walk home in the dead night than to accept a ride from a man who hasn't contacted her for a week without any explanation. There was nothing she did wrong, absolutely nothing wrong. The night he came to her house they made up, or so she thought. When she got back home there was his limo in front of her house waiting for her return. Every night that damn limo would make sure that she came home safely.

Mars was teaching another lesson to the class. Ever since that day the tabloids connected her and Mars together he kept his distance from her. They would say hello and goodbye like student and teacher but it all seemed fake to her. She knew that he didn't want any problems and decided that it was probably better not to mess with the CEO's potential girlfriend.

Today Mars seemed to be trying his best not to even have eye contact with Anzu. He asked all the students except for her if they were doing okay in their dance routines. In a couple of days there was going to be a competition held so that the winner could have a scholarship and a guarantied in to a dance school in Europe. Even though Anzu has been having her problems she still worked on her routine religiously. With or without Mars's help.

"Mazaki? Are you paying attention?" She could hear the other students laugh behind her as Mars went up to her. "I said are you listening to me?" She shook her head to shake the thoughts out of her head.

"I'm sorry." She mumbled. Mars frowned and crossed his arms across his chest.

"Are you prepared?" He asked though his voice sounded like he was containing himself from yelling at her.

"For?" She asked innocently.

"For the competition." He stated simply.

"Oh." Anzu whispered and felt herself blush for looking like a fool in front of her competition. After this people would think she didn't care about dancing. "Of course. I'm ready for it." She said determinedly.

"Are you sure? It would be embarrassing to our school if you flake out while you're dancing." He crudely mumbled before turning around so that he stood in front of the class. Though he mumbled it, the whole class did of course hear his comment and snickered behind her. "That's it class. Remember to practice if you are competing." Anzu stood still until everyone left wanting to clear some things up with her instructor.

"Mars?"

"Yes?" He responded while getting his bag.

"What you said was uncalled for." Anzu didn't even bother getting her things just yet.

"My apologies." He said uncaringly without even looking back at her.

"What the hell is your problem? Why are you acting like this?" She asked with hurt in her voice. There was nothing she did to him that could make him act so callously towards her. After a sigh he turned around to finally look at her and dropped his bag on the floor.

"Nothing. Just my own stupidness." He breathed out.

"That still doesn't explain why you're acting like this. And it sure as hell doesn't explain why you embarrassed me in front of my classmates."

"Listen, Anzu. I'm attracted to you, okay? But when I saw that newspaper with you and that big shot CEO I guess I got mad. I didn't know you were with him. I mean, you never told me. So I guess I felt like you lied to me even though I never asked if you were involved with someone or not." Mars looked down at the floor shying away from Anzu.

"Mars." She whispered, holding back tears. "I'm not with him. He's an old friend, nothing more." It was a lie but then again wasn't Kaiba the one ignoring her?

"But the newspaper said.."

"Those were tabloids. Everyone knows that tabloids are all bullshit." Mars looked up at her and smiled apologetically .

"I'm sorry. Look, I think you have the greatest chance of winning the competition. After this semester I'm going to Europe with the winner to help that person train. I'm not going to be their teacher but their coach. Here, in this school, I can't be with you. You're my student but if you win we could start dating without worrying about my losing my job or you getting kicked out of school." He continued when Anzu didn't say anything. "That is, if you want."

Anzu didn't say anything for a while. What would happen if she did win the scholarship? Her and Kaiba would definitely be over then. Could she start dating Mars? They do have more in common than her and Kaiba. Could they?

"That would be nice." She softly answered after noticing that he was still waiting for an answer. If her and Kaiba were going to be over if she left for Europe, then why not start a relationship with someone who actually wanted to be with her and date her? "Let's just hope I win." She laughed nervously.

"You'll win. I'm sure of it." He stepped towards her and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow." He walked towards the door and stopped to look back at her with concerned eyes. "I'm sorry for picking on you in front of the class."

"It's okay." Anzu said as she picked up her own bag. It was a saying she continuously repeated in her head. Everything was going to be okay.

It's been a bad, horrible week. All he could think about was Anzu. Every night when he would leave his offices he would want to go straight to her job to see her but couldn't. That night he gave in. He easily gave in to a part of him that he hated. Wasn't he supposed to be the cold one? The unemotional one? The one who didn't need love?

Then why did he feel like he depended on Anzu? Why did he just want to crawl into her bed and hold her? Why did he want to feel her presence? It didn't make sense to him. It scared him. That night he came to her, he gave in. He scared himself. Of what he was actually capable of. Of what he could show; weakness, needs, love.

She was doing something to him. So what was the best solution of avoiding her doing anything to him that he might regret? Avoid her, of course. But he couldn't just leave her. The reason why they started ... whatever it was that they started was because of the fact that he would offer her a ride back to her home. Since he couldn't see her yet until he was in a clear state of mind, he would send a limo driver. Each night she would refuse the driver but Kaiba ordered the driver to make sure that Anzu got home safely.

Mokuba would be coming in a couple of days. It seemed that the younger Kaiba liked coming more frequently now. Was it because he now knew about Anzu's and Kaiba's relationship? Well, it didn't matter. He would see Anzu again when he was how he once was, before Anzu.

"Mr. Kaiba?" Sherri asked at his door.

"Yes?" She opened it and cautiously entered his office. Any step could be fatal as far as she was concerned. Since the beginning of the week Kaiba has been doing nothing but yelling and screaming at people. Sherri was one of those people.

"Your brother's flight should be coming in tomorrow around noon."

"Thank you." Maybe tonight he would see Anzu. See how she's doing.

"Seto?" Anzu whispered against his lips. They parted slightly so that she could see his eyes. Though they were closed, she wanted to see how he looked. With a slight smile on his lips, his eyes flickered and blue clashed with blue. Anzu too was smiling but her smile faltered when his eyes slightly widened. With a cross of confusion and bewilderment in his eyes he pushed her away, standing up abruptly from the couch. Without another word Kaiba stormed out of her apartment and drove off in his car. Anzu sat frozen to the same spot Kaiba left her.

"What just happened?" She whispered through trembling lips.

"Anzu? Anzu? Wake up!" Eyes widening and her body flying upwards someone caught her. "My god, are you okay?" Lorena asked.

"Yea, I was just dreaming." Anzu answered truthfully while getting up from the couch in the dressing room.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Lorena asked again.

"Yea. I just need to go relieve some stress." Anzu took off her sweat pants and headed for the dance floor when Lorena stopped her.

"Anzu, is this because of your friends?" The situation between Jounouchi, Yugi and her was resolved in the middle of the week. Jounouchi called her to apologize about the whole thing. Otogi had to calm him down and tell him everything. After a while Jounouchi calmed down, though he didn't accept it. Yugi then called her afterwards and told her that she was still his friend. She didn't know if that meant that he accepted Kaiba and her or not but she would rather take that than anything. Jounouchi has not bothered to contact her since their last conversation. He was still a little mad she figured. He had a reason to be, she thought now.

"No."

"It is because of Kaiba?" Anzu froze and looked shockingly at Lorena. "It is?" She whispered.

"It's nothing. Don't worry about it."

"Are you guys over?" Bitterly Anzu laughed. This whole time Lorena still did not get that they were never a couple. It was all a little façade, a dream in little Anzu's head.

"We never even started." Was her bitter response and Anzu left the room to go out on the dance floor.

Tonight was a busy night. Everyone was on the dance floor conversing, dancing and having fun. Seeing everyone smiling and laughing made Anzu want to cry. Her friends were no longer that mad at her so why was she so down?

Of course she knew, Kaiba. It all came down to Kaiba. Since when she become to dependent on him? Since when did she need him to be happy? When she was in high school she was happy all on her own. She'd go out on dates get over the guy and that was that. Why did it matter with Kaiba? Because she knows she can't have him? Or because she knows it's possible and he won't let it happen?

Wanting to sit down away from the loud crowd she walked out of the club with her bag into the chilly night. It was time to call it a night. She meant to just walk out to the sidewalk where the bouncer could see her but a vehicle caught her eye making her walk towards it like a zombie. The window of the car went down revealing the man who she's been thinking of for a week. Her head titled to look at him with a frown on her face. Her eyes looked dead to him, like she thought he was an image that would fade away if she dared touch it.

"I came to personally take you home." Kaiba sighed out as if he was frustrated with the fact that he had to come. In reality he came because he wanted to see her. A week of not hearing her voice or seeing her face made him actually miss her. A ride home wouldn't hurt, would it? He knew he had to be careful around her. She did something to him that made him either hate her more or want to be around her more. Or maybe both.

Anzu blinked a couple of times, looked back numbly, and then turned her head back towards him but avoided his eyes. Her eyes were looking off to the side as if she was thinking.

"I don't need your rides, Kaiba." She spoke with clenched teeth. Something told Kaiba it wasn't because she was cold.

"Well you have two choices then, Mazaki." He was annoyed with her. Didn't she understand? They were never going to be an item. Why was she mad? He held no responsibilities with her. He was not to be with her romantically. At least that's what he's trying to avoid. "You could either stop being a drama queen and get in the car with me or you could take the bus with that perverted old man and I'll follow you until you get home safely."

"I'd rather take my chances with the old man." She spit out.

"Well then, I'll be right here." He spat out as well and leaned back against his seat to show her that he wasn't leaving.

"Why did you leave like that?" Anzu asked sadly after a couple of minutes of studying him in silence. His eyes avoided hers as he opened them.

"I have my reasons."

"I'm tired of this Kaiba. I really am. You show me sides of you I love and then you push me away. You push me away and you become like the old Kaiba I hate. I find myself on my toes because I don't know if you feel the same way for me or if you're just using me?" Anzu's eyes met his. "Is that it? Are you just using me?" She barely whispered out. Before they both knew it Kaiba was out of the car and holding Anzu with one hand on her cheek, caressing it with his thumb and the other holding the back of her neck. The look on her face when she asked if he was using her made his chest hurt. She looked so hurt, so lost. Had he said the wrong thing he felt like he was going to kill her emotionally. Like he was going to ruin her by a simple wrong answer.

Then what was the right answer? He didn't even know. Was he using her? Was he using the talented sweet selfless Anzu Mazaki? His enemies, her friends already found out about them. There was no other reason why he would stay with her. Wasn't that the reason why he was with her? To ruin her friends? To make them hate her? Wasn't it?

A major part of him screamed no. He was with her because.. because he chose to be. Not for revenge. Not for his own satisfaction but for reasons unknown to even him. She pulled him in with one look, one word. Didn't she realize that by now? Didn't she realize that he's scared? Or does she still think of him how he was when he was in high school? A cold hearted bastard who cared for no one and felt for no one? Perhaps. All he could do now was avoid answering her a question he didn't even know how to respond to. Say he did respond, he could hurt her with the answer. That or he could hurt himself by ranting about his confusion. With her he could feel his words tumble out of his mouth but he would never dare vocally say anything to her. His greatest fear was that one day she would make him vocalize his 'real' thoughts, his real emotions. He greatest fear was letting her in.

All he could do for now was hold her. Hold her in the dead night and feel her tremble underneath him. He felt like she was going to try to escape. He couldn't let her. He missed her body against his too much to let her take that warmth away.

"Don't hate me. Whatever you do, don't hate me." He mumbled against her hair as he pressed her against him even more. He could feel her hesitating arms wrap around his waist, her head resting against his chest.

"What would you rather me do, then? Love you?" She picked her head up when she felt him tense up. That's the last thing he wants her to do. Even if she did love him he was never going to be capable of showing the same rare emotion to her.

"No." He softly said after a minute making her grip on to the back of his shirt.

"Then I don't know what you want."

'Yes you do.' He thought bitterly as he let go of her.

"You'd make it hard to love you. You make it hard to feel anything for you except for loathing." She paused to touch his face. "But for some reason my feelings for you are strong. They are still here." She held her heart. " I don't know why they are still here but they are." Kaiba said nothing in response afraid of what this meant. He didn't want her to love him. If she loved him then he would do the same to her. He didn't want it. Any of it. It scared him. Let him live alone. Let him never know about love. He just didn't want to hurt Anzu because of the fact that he didn't even know how to love. He would hurt her over and over again. She'd be one of those stupid women who stayed in messed up relationships just because they loved the other.

"Don't love me." He muttered almost to himself. "Don't be stupid enough to do that."

"Why not?" She asked not knowing that he was thinking to himself and didn't expect a response.

"Because I don't need that kind of love. I never wanted it. Why start now?" He coldly stared at her.

"Everyone needs that kind of love." She kindly said.

"I don't." He turned back to get in his car but stopped when he saw her walk to the passenger side. "I thought you would rather take your chances with the perverted old man?" She smirked and opened the door to sit down.

"I changed my mind. I would rather take my chances with a confused CEO." She joked.

"Put on your seatbelt." He said after he put his on and noticed that she didn't. He sat there waiting for her to put it on and when she didn't she noticed that he was quiet and looked at him. "Did you hear me?" He coldly said.

"Oh." Kaiba would never change. She would never change. She knew what she wanted already. She made up her mind. Whether or not Kaiba would one say give in, she didn't know. He cared for her, that's all she knew for now. If he didn't he wouldn't make sure she would come home safely. It gave her reason enough that he would one day think twice about love. "I know you care about me." She whispered as she put on her seatbelt. He scoffed secretly knowing it was true and started the car. "Kaiba?" He hmm'ed without looking at her. "I don't want to go home just yet." He glanced at her, seeing the nervousness in her. When she got nervous, he realized, she plays with her hands.

"Where do you want to go, then? It's three in the morning and nothing is opened." His eyes went back to the road.

"You're the driver." She cheekily responded. " I want to keep on talking to you. Like rational adult, not ten year old children." Not helping but to smirk, Kaiba nodded his head. She almost sounded like him. Cold and demanding.

"I won't say much."

"That's fine. I'll do most of the talking and you'll listen until you decide you want to talk." Anzu responded fully awake and not a bit tired. Kaiba looked at her once more and saw that she was smiling. She was going to make him talk. If it took her all night and day, she would make him.

"What's with the smile?" He asked paranoid of the reason behind the smile.

"No reason." Little did he know it was the first smile she had in a week. It seemed like he was the only thing to make her smile. Her was her sweet poison. Her addiction.

That's it for now. There's three more chapter left in this story.. Yes, three more chapters. I predict that by the end of next week I'll finally be done with this story because like I said I already wrote the last chapter of it and that means that I only need two more chapters to write. I'm still satisfied with my last chapter so it will stay as is. I might have to tweak it a bit. Thanks for all the support guys! I didn't get much reviews last chapter but that's fine! I still love you guys and I'll continue writing for the sake of the people who do like this story.

Tyri Dragonite- you'll see by the end of next week.

yugikid- I view love the same. I get scared easily which is how I'm putting his mentality. Completely avoiding love because he feels like he's never had it and if he did then he would be hurt in some way. So why not just avoid the hurt along with the love?

Rain5101- I soo used your quote in the beginning of the chapter! Lol..

nausicaa5- I completely loved your comment! I teared up! I tried to personally e-mail you and thank you but it didn't work.. I don't know why. So I just want to thank you so much right now because you do not know how much that means to me that you said that. It is true that with age comes maturity but sometimes I read fics written by fourteen year olds and I'm blown away! I'm 18 by the way.. And I swear half the time I think I'm so immature. I am a psychology major and very imaginative so it's easy for me to get into people's head and how one would react to something…Thanks again for the heart warming review!

yoursolastsummer- my blasted cold finally went away! I'm glad that I surprised you with four new chapters. I bet it was really nice to get those when you came back on your trip!

Wow- one word: thanks! It is almost ending. Like I said.. Three more chapters left.. One of which is done so the update will be soon. The second to last chapter will be posted along with the last chapter. If not then the day after I post the second to last chapter.

huda- Ahaha.. Me in the same category as Azurite? Thanks for that comment! It really made my jaw drop. The Gundam Wing story is on a major hold. I really wish I kept it as a one shot because I don't know how to continue that story. Maybe one day I'll get back on the saddle and continue. Until then I'll try to finish my other stories. Thanks for the comment again.

gurlhushere13: you'll have to wait and find out I guess..

kira-924: here's one more chapter for you. I'm glad I caught your interest enough for you to read all 20 chapters in one sitting. I really appreciated that!

Me-write-ficcys- yea.. Me and cliffies.. We're like this (crosses forefinger and middle finger)

LL - LUV you for reviewing!