Disclaimer: Ruroken is not mine and never will be, no matter how much I wish it was!
To my love,
I'll never deliver this. But perhaps it will clear my mind and my heart to write the words down that I wish I could tell you.
She must have loved you a great deal to die for you. Yes, I was told what happened. Told the whole touching story that sank me into this depressed state. Would I have done that if I had been there? Would I have died for you?
Probably not. I've never been the lie down and die type. Instead of leaping in the way to die, I would have fought. Fought to the bitter end by your side. For some reason, I used to think that you'd like that in me.
But maybe what you needed wasn't the violence? I know your past. You were once Katsura's hitokiri. You lived by the sword, making the streets slick with blood. I understand what you were back then. And I know how you've changed. I've seen both sides of you. The killer and the man who puts up with all of us... the group that you gathered.
I'm sorry that you had such a dark past. Such a horrible betrayal. Such a sad story.
I'm sorry that I can never be what she was to you. That you never loved me the way that you loved her.
Most of all, I'm sorry that you died, because I could have been wonderful for you.
So many regrets.
I will miss you, Shishio.
Love always,
Kamatari
Author's note: (laughs) Man, the weird things that pop into my head in the wee hours of the morning... Thank you so much for reading, and please review. I'd like to know what people think about this piece... Especially since it's about as far from my normal stuff as I could get without leaving my comfortable angst category (hehe...)
Also, a VERY big thank you to sueb262 for noticing the grammatical errors. (That's apparently another thing that happens when I write in the wee hours of the morning...hehe). Seriously, though... thank you!
Dewa mata!