a/n: How sad! This is my last chapter! The finale! No more chapters! Aww Considering the new rule on FFN with lyrics, I had to edit this chapter. The song I was going to use for this chapter was Reason by Dir En Grey. If you read the lyrics it would have fit nicely with the chapter. I actually wrote the chapter according to the lyrics so that it fit with it well. If you would like the originally ending with the lyrics, please leave me your e-mail address so that I could e-mail it to you.

Disclaimer: I don't own YuGiOh.. But I do own this story!

Chapter 24: In Words That Are Mine Alone

There was no reason anymore. There was no point of staying. It just meant another defeat for her. Another reason for her to look at herself in pity. The woman looking at her before the mirror was another dumb bitch as far as she was concerned. A weak nobody. Someone who gave excuses and always stuck by the rules of I'm in love. It wasn't love. It was self hate. Self destruction. It made her weak. It made her want more. It made her suffer without it. It made her suffer with it. She could only lie to herself for so long. She could only give excuses for so long. The questions that haunted her in the mornings or whenever she was not around him only seemed to intensify as time went on. The same intense feeling matched the one she felt when he kissed her, when he touched her. It hurt to know only a fraction of the truth. In time could she handle the whole naked truth? How much will it hurt? Knowing. Seeing? For some time she could see… a bit hazy, but see nonetheless.

She left Seto in his room sleeping soundly, unaware of what was really happening. When she awoke Seto was no longer holding her. He was on his side of the bed sleeping away while she drank in his presence. After a kiss on his cheek she rose up from the bed .

Before she left she found herself in the kitchen, a place she never really entered. That one maid was nice to her. Not even she knew what was going on. It all seemed natural to her, though. Of course he probably has done this before. Bring a strange woman in his house and then use them like nothing. Cassandra probably saw it every couple of months. Today her couple of months were up.

Has it been that long? Have they been in this sick relationship for that long? If she thought about it they have been together for about four months now. He was using her for four months, wasn't he?

Didn't he admit it just the night before? Right to someone on the telephone no less. He couldn't even say it to her face. His plan. His game. His toy. So surreal.

'So pathetic.' She thought bitterly. Lorena would be mad at her. If she only knew. Once she got into Tokyo Princess, she'd probably break down and tell Lorena the whole thing. She knew Lorena would be proud of her. Leaving him. Leaving him while he's sleeping. Leaving him with a note by his bed.

'I heard the truth. The whole truth from your own lips last night when you thought your words would not reach my ears. I will no longer allow you to hurt me.'

If only she could see his reaction. His turmoil. If he even felt it. Cassandra walked in and saw Anzu linger around in the kitchen..

"Miss? Are you leaving?" Turning around startled, she bent and nodded. A goodbye, Japanese style.

"Thank you. Thank you so much for everything." She whispered and walked up to the maid. Even though she didn't know her well, she knew she'd miss her. God, was she sentimental. Bending over again, she turned around.

"Wait" Cassandra's hand was extended out as if to reach for Anzu. "Are you leaving him? For good?" The only response she got was a nod. Anzu knew she couldn't turn around and face Cassandra. The maid would see her pain. "Just know then.. " Cassandra paused, trying to find the right words. "Just know that I have been with Seto for a long time. You are the only one outside his brother who really did something to him. You did something to him no one was able to achieve and I don't think will be able to achieve in a long time if you leave." Cassandra's words almost made her turn around in hope that maybe they were getting somewhere.

But how much could she take? Wasn't her future staring at her in the eye? Wasn't her future in her hands?

"Thank you." Anzu quietly said and walked out of the kitchen not wanting to hear anymore. Her decision was already made. There was nothing that could change her mind. The whole night she spent thinking about it. What her decision would be. She even had Seto holding her the whole night which made the decision even more difficult. Nonetheless, she made it. After heavy consideration, she made it and would not back down.

When she got to the foyer of the mansion, she saw Kaiba sitting on the second to last step of the stairs in front of the foyer. He was dressed in his usual attire. Suit and tie. No trench coat though.


"Where are you going?" He asked lowly, looking down at the marble floor. After a tsk, Anzu no longer felt afraid. No longer feeling like she was chained down by some unknown force. She felt freer. Like she could face the truth. She turned her back towards the door and faced Kaiba, stopping a few inches from him. He looked up at her, his eyes back to ice blue. Uncaring. Cold. Heartless. Unknowing.

"I'm going home, Kaiba." The name made him narrow his eyes at her. Before he could question the change, she sat down next to him. "I heard everything last night." She laughed. It was a cover. It was something she learned from him. A lesson she was thankful for because it masked the hurt she felt inside. The feeling of her wanting to throw up was not shown. Would he believe her? Could she fool the master? The answer came as a yes when he didn't say or do anything but look at her strangely. "I heard everything. It made me realize something. It made me realize that we can't do this. I can't do this. This game, this relationship, this what ever the hell you think it is. To me it was a mess. It was destructive, and I can't do it anymore." The tears were now close to falling. Clearly visible to him. Wiping her tears with the back of her hand, he noticed her hands were shaking. "I'm not a fucking toy, Kaiba. I have morals. Some of which I forgot when I was with you, but morals nonetheless. I need to get away from you. I can't be around you anymore." She got up, afraid she'd go hysterical around him. He stood up as well, grabbing her elbow.

"So you're going to leave? You weren't even going to tell me? You were just going to leave me and tell me through a fucking piece of paper!" He yelled in her face, a mix of angst and anger clearly on his face. Like he wasn't expecting this at all. He wasn't expecting it. He thought she'd be around him forever until he got tired with her. But this, this was a certain turn of events. She was leaving him. She caught on. She heard what he said last night. She heard his nonsense. What he didn't mean. What he said out of anger.

"A toy damn it! She is just a piece of nothing that satisfies me every once and a while! Soon she'll be out of here anyways and another whore will replace her."

Those words she heard and still she stayed the night with him. How could she stay? He didn't blame her now. He couldn't. it was his own fault. What were they doing? What the hell was it about her that made him bring her to his arms night after night? The tears now fell down her cheek, she didn't even dare look at him. She knew what he would say. He would tell her that she was so damn weak and to get out of his face.

"I need to go, don't you understand?" Her voice shaking. "If I stay I'll let you hurt me. I will let you! I'm not prideful, I'll admit it. I'll let you hurt me to the point that I'll depend on everything you do. I can't do that to myself. I'm sane enough to see that. If I stay any longer I won't be able to save myself." Now daring to looking at him, she held his cheek. "I'll hurt you. I'll find a way. I know ways and you know how to destroy me completely. We can't keep hurting each other. It's not fair to us." Letting go of his cheek, she walked away from him towards the door, grasping the doorknob like it was her only lifeline. "Let me go, Kaiba. Please let me go." She gritted through her teeth miserably, her face streaked with tears. Kaiba turned his back towards her, one foot on the stairs, ready to walk back up stairs to his office.

"I can't promise you anything. I never could. I don't know what I'm capable of. Loving you, hating you, loathing you, lusting for you. I can't define it. What I feel for you is.. Indefinable. It's all the same to me though. You can't blame me. It's not in my background. What I'm supposed to feel for you, it's not in me. At least not now. You obviously know what you want, right?" His voice as low and calm as she's ever heard it. Like he was thinking, explaining and mourning all in the same time. From behind him, he could feel her eyes on him. It was the only honest anything he's ever told her. It was a shock to the system and to her emotions. Knowing in the back of her mind he meant everything, she still couldn't make herself give him another chance. Say to forget the whole thing and go back to whatever it was they would do. It wasn't possible anymore. But the least she could do was tell him what she really wants from him.

"I want you, Seto. Not Kaiba, not the always working, unfeeling, uncaring Kaiba. I want the Seto who wants to love freely, to care freely, and to laugh freely. The Seto you would sometimes show me. I want a relationship. A real relationship. I want love. A heartrending, blissful, insane, but it's worth it by the way you look at me love. I want so many things that I know you're not ready for. You are capable of it. But you're afraid. And I can't wait. I won't wait for it. I won't wait for you to one day wake up and say that you want what I want. It's not fair. Not to me."

"Nothing is, Mazaki!" He bit out, but not looking at her. In a way he wanted the same things as her. But he couldn't admit it and he knew why. It was because she was right. He wasn't ready yet. He was more than capable to. It was just fear that held him back. It was fear that was going to make him lose the only girl he really cared about. The person he could actually see himself with. The only person who could break him. After regaining his composure, he sighed heavily and started to walk up the stairs. Fuck everything. Fuck love. Fuck Anzu. Fuck what they have. The only thing he needed was his work. The only thing that couldn't hurt him the way she was hurting him was his work. His excuse.

"It isn't fair for us to keep each other from what we really want in life. We both want different things. We have to let each other go. Maybe sometime in the future we'll both be realistic about our desires." She couldn't read him. He kept fluctuating between sadness to coldness. Maybe he meant what he said last night. She was just a toy. "If it's worth anything. I wish I knew what I wanted. Then we wouldn't have to do this." He turned around stopping in the middle of the stairs. His work wouldn't care about him the way she did. No one could. Her intentions were always pure. Untainted. She was his match. He knew it. He was just to scared to say it. To believe it. His eyes held emotion, emotion she wanted him to say out loud. It was proof that he truly wasn't ready. It made her sob. It made her weak in the knees. If only..

"Go. Be happy. Dance. I'll be there for you if you need anything. You know I'll help you." He whispered. Hesitation was heard in his voice. It was a start. But not enough. It was too late to start. "I.."

'Stop hesitating.' She thought as more tears fell down her face. He was serious. Everything he had said before he meant. Shaking his head as if he changed his mind, he tenderly smiled. "Stop crying. No one in Julliard is going to accept a crybaby like you. " Was all he said before he continued to walk up the stairs and disappeared in the dark hallways. It was a tease, he knew she would never dare cry in Julliard. The only person she would cry in front of was him. He was the only one. And will always be. The thought made him frown. 'Be happy. Please be happy. Smile more. Laugh more.'

Hearing his door shut made her heart sink. Was it really over? Was all the drama and tears finally over? More tears will come, but soon they will stop. He was honest. She had to give him that. He was so honest that it scared her. Made her think twice. Made her want to run up those stairs and hug him. Never letting go. Scolding herself for even thinking of leaving him. But it was good for her to leave him. For the best. She shut his front door and walked away from his house. Her car was parked just around the corner. After getting in the car, she drove to the first stop sign. Since he went to his office she could not stop from sobbing. She was close to hysterical. Not looking at his house as she drove by it. Her cell phone rang. Picking it up she automatically knew it was Lorena. Somehow she stopped sobbing so that she could answer the phone.

"Hey." Lorena cheerfully said.

"I'm gonna be at work in about half an hour, okay? I'm going to say goodbye to you guys. I didn't get a chance last night." She said softly. The emotions she felt towards Kaiba was draining her and had no more energy. The visit at her job could be a gateway of her hysterical sobs that she knew was coming. It was sad to leave her job. But she was thankful. Leaving her job were the least of her problems right now.

"I knew you were coming by. The gang is all here. Just get your happy ass over here so we can celebrate!" Lorena was always a wild one. Anzu knew she'd continue to talk to her. Tell Lorena her problem. Her worries. One day Lorena won't have to work two jobs. One day she'll meet that man who loves her and has some cash on the side.

"Okay." Anzu will be happy. Within time she will be happy. Her face no longer have traces of the tears she cried at Kaiba's. They will both be happy one day. He'll find someone who loves him half as much as Anzu did. And Anzu will continue loving him. As much as she shouldn't, she can't help it. A sullen Anzu will be around for a while. But she'll be gone and another stronger Anzu will come back.

"What's the matter?" Lorena asked worriedly. Anzu knew the way her voice sounded was one of someone who just finished crying. The thought of Kaiba brought tears to Anzu's eyes again.

It's nothing. I'll be there soon." After an okay, they both hung up. It was becoming nothing. A something that will soon turn into a nothing. A nothing she will soon forget. A nothing in her past. A nothing in her future…

Fin

'In words that are mine alone

I want to tell you

That on the other side of sadness

I can see brightness'

You guys hate me. I know. I wanna thank everyone who reviewed. I'm glad you guys loved my story! You guys were a HUGE inspiration! I'll be sad to let this story go. But alas.. i shall take my final bow and leave the stage with pride. Just not yet though.. it ain't over till the fat lady sings.. and just a reminder.. this fat woman got a few verses left to belt out.. (wink)

To my wonderful reviewers:

Krimzon Lily- yea.. No more sugar for you. Here's the last chapter.

yoursolastsummer- I know I am a horrible person. That was the last wrench. I hope you like the last chapter.

AllisonWalker- See? She picked her dream!

Ssp - well, you got your wish.

TeaG- I've updated! She picked!

Starian Princess- Thank you so much for calling me genius! I have read your fiction and I like it! Please do update!

La Vie En Rose - nope. That was not the last chapter! This is! I hope you liked it.

twilight eyes 8120- Aww! Thank you so much for being so supportive in my story! This is my last chapter but you know it's not over. (wink)

ang3l-blue- Thank so you much for the review! Yes, this is the last chapter but I hope you enjoyed it.

amberblood- exactly! I wanted to put Mokuba in the action! He deserves some screen time!

yugikid- I really hope you liked this chapter. The ending is not something most people would want, I know but then again this is a Didihoney angsty story!

Rain5101- Whoo hooo! Go Mokuba! He knows how to put some more drama in the story!

clutsyangel27- no more waiting for you! Here's the last chapter!

Nightfall2525- thank you so much for the support!

Once again thank you so much for the support!