Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Peter Pan, Captain Hook, or any of Mr. Barry's other wonderful characters. I write about them solely for my own amusement, and make no profit from it except that which I receive from knowing my writing has been enjoyed by others.

Chapter 13

Lost Memories

For once, James was not dreaming of death. His dreams of late had been filled with blood and war. He had dreamed of roaming through empty, blasted landscapes, hunting for something he could not find, angry for a reason he could not remember. He had dreamed of great battles and screaming armies, and of cutting through his enemies with cruel joy. But now, James dreamed of flying. He floated on the back of a cloud that lifted him up and carried him over green hills, blue lakes, and fields wild with flowers. His eyes widened. After traveling through barren lands for so long, such beauty was strange to him. Such sights had been familiar to him once, but his recent nightmares had driven away all the pleasant thoughts he'd ever had. He sank deeper into the cloud, and felt the memory of happiness beginning to return. Warm wind passed over him and James lifted his face to meet it. For the first time in what seemed like many ages, he was at peace.

James opened his eyes and believed himself to be deceived. He lay in his own bed in the captain's cabin on the Jolly Roger with the afternoon sun streaming through the window. He distinctly remembered being swallowed by the crocodile, and yet there he was, covered with a soft down quilt and surrounded with no less than five big, comfortable pillows. He was wearing a long white night-shirt, and when he put a hand to his face, he knew that he'd had a good shave recently.

A pixie who had been watching the Captain intently jumped up the moment James moved and jangled in the ear of a woman with glasses who was sitting on a chair at his bedside. She looked up from the book she had been reading with a start. Her eyes found James' and she stood suddenly, dropping her book to the floor.

"You're awake," she said.

"This isn't a dream?" he asked.

"No, this is real," she told him. She put a cool hand on his forehead, and her fingers lingered on his face for a long while, tracing the line of his jaw and the curve of his mouth. James looked up at her, confused. She took her hand away.

"How did I get here?" he asked. "How long was I away from my ship?" An old fire was rekindled in his eyes. "What news of Peter Pan?"

Sophia searched his face for any sign of recognition. Finding none, she sighed and told him, "Your crew and I fought the crocodile and won. We made her release you. That was three days ago. You've been asleep since we brought you home. As for the rest, I'm not sure how long you were gone, and I've heard that Peter Pan hasn't been seen by any of your crew for months."

"You went up against that monster… for me?" he asked. He struggled to sit up. "Why? I know my crew. They would not have acted alone. It must have been you… Who are you to risk so much for my sake?"

His question seemed to affect her physically. She closed her eyes, and her breath became more ragged. She sat on the edge of his bed and took hold of his hand, which was lying on top of the covers.

"Do you not know me?" she asked. Her eyes were tired, and where they had been full of joy a moment before at seeing him awake, they now brimmed with pain. James suddenly wanted very much to tell her that he did know her, but he could not.

"I know I do not wish to hurt you," he said, "by being unable to give you the answer you'd like."

"That's something, then," Sophia said. She tried to sound cheerful, but when she turned her face away, James saw that she was crying. Her face was wet, and new tears were forming at the corners of her eyes.

"You… cry because I do not know you?" he asked.

"Yes." Her voice was almost too small to hear.

James studied her carefully as he removed his hand from her grasp and pressed his palm against the side of her face.

"Don't be sad," he told her. "I don't remember much of anything, but… somehow… I know your face, your voice."

"Perhaps your memories will return with time. I'm simply glad to see that you are alive." Sophia sniffed once and smiled hesitantly. "I thought that I might have lost you, James."

When she said his name, a memory that had been long-hidden was triggered in Hook's mind. No one called him James. He could not recall anyone using it since he'd come to Neverland. No one, that is, except for the one who had written the letter. The one who had loved him.

"It was you," he murmured. Sophia leaned close, fearing that he was slipping into delirium. "You wrote me a letter once. I found it in the empty room."

"Yes! I did!" she said.

"Then I know your name, Sophia."

She let out a happy cry and threw her arms around him with such force that both of them fell backwards onto the mound of pillows. James, who was taken aback by her sudden exuberant show of affection, coughed awkwardly. Sophia immediately disentangled herself from him. She straightened her dress and pushed her glasses, which were askew, back to their proper place on her nose.

"I'm… I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…" She blushed. "It's just that… I'm glad you got my note. And that you know my name."

He smiled at her, as if to tell her no harm had been done. "Your letter is in my desk, in the secret compartment in the first drawer, would you bring it to me?" James requested. "The key to your room is with it, I believe." She opened the drawer. "You have to put your fingers on either side of…"

He heard the sound of the hidden latch popping open before he could finish.

"I know how to open it," Sophia said. "You showed me once." The envelope was tucked beneath several ancient golden coins, and some gems that were especially finely cut. She carefully pulled it out and brought it over to him. He shook the envelope until the key fell into his hand and held it out to her.

"I'm glad to see this," she said. "It'll be nice to have my own room back. Besides, I'd imagine you'll need some privacy, now that you're awake."

The implications of her words were not lost on him.

"Where have you been staying?" he asked.

Sophia shrugged. "Right here, of course." She pointed at the rumpled half of the bed the Captain was not occupying. "It's a big bed, James," she said practically. "And I wanted to be nearby if you woke, even if it was in the night."

James raised an eyebrow. Though he remembered nothing about her, somehow he wasn't surprised at her lack of concern for propriety. Hoping that he might be able to bring back some memory of her, he took the letter from the envelope and reread it for the first time since he had put it away. When he finished, he looked up at her hopeful, smiling face and shook his head.

"I know from this letter that you love me…"

"But you remember nothing else," Sophia finished for him.

"Perhaps, as you say, everything will come back to me in time," he said. He tried to sit up further and winced.

"You're still weak from being curled up in that crocodile for so long," Sophia told him. "You should rest. I'll leave you in peace, now."

She bent down, meaning to kiss him on the cheek. James, however, had other ideas. He reached out quickly with his good arm and pulled her close to him. He pressed his lips against hers, and though Sophia tensed for a moment, she soon abandoned any reservations she might have had and let him kiss her.

When they parted, Sophia was having trouble breathing normally again. James gave her a wily smile and ran his fingers through her hair.

"Now that, I seem to remember quite well," he said.

Sophia embraced him again, more carefully this time. Suddenly, he gasped, and pulled away from her so that he could see her face. He stared at her in wonder, as if he were seeing her for the first time.

"The first day I met you, you floated apples and oranges around my cabin. You almost dropped one on my head," he said. Sophia nodded vigorously, and motioned for him to continue. "I remember… You met the Lost Boys, and we had an argument. You broke the door with... leaves and vines." Again he looked to her for confirmation of his new-found memories.

Sophia bit her lip in embarrassment, but finally said, "Yes, go on."

"We went to the fairy grove together… We saw them dance…" He smiled at the memory. "And the first time I kissed you, I thought I'd frightened you away."

"But you hadn't," Sophia reminded him.

James grinned. "I remember that, as well." As other memories returned to him, his face grew serious. "I remember the day you left, now. I waited for many days, and you did not return."

The bare, raw pain on his face made her mouth go dry. "I wanted to," Sophia said. She drew her legs onto the bed and curled up next to him. "I tried so hard to find my way back…" She shivered and drew the covers over herself.

"Tell me," James urged her.

"For days, I traveled over the Sea Between Worlds, trying to go back the way I had come, but I found nothing but fog and water. When I was too exhausted to maintain the flying spell, I thought I was going to die. But then… there was a boat…" She yawned and rubbed her eyes. "It's a very long story, and there will be plenty of time for the telling of it later, when we're off this island. For now, suffice it to say that I found my way back to earth, and with the help the Darling children—I believe you met them, didn't you?—I was able to come back. Because… well… here I am." She yawned again.

"How long since you've slept?" James asked, not quite awake himself.

"Couple of hours right after we brought you home," she murmured.

"Then I am not the only one who needs rest," he said. "Stay here with me and sleep, Sophia."

She nodded, and laid her head on the pillow next to his. For a long time, neither of them closed their eyes. She had forgotten how very blue his were and could not look away.

"If I shut my eyes, will you be here when I open them again?" she asked.

"I wondered the same about you," he admitted.

"I promise," she whispered, "I'll not get lost again."

-----

When James was strong enough to go out on deck, he insisted on making a production of it. When Sophia tried to reason with him, he argued that donning his fine clothing was necessary in order to show the crew that their captain was fully recovered. And so, she brushed the dust off of his black velvet coat and had one of the pirates polish his boots until they shone. One thing, however, gave them a bit of trouble. Both James' hook and the contraption that attached it to his arm had been lost in the belly of the crocodile.

"You don't have an extra one anywhere, do you?" Sophia asked.

James pulled a box from under his bed and flipped the top open. There, nestled in red satin, were the various hooks that he had used over the years. "I have these," he said, "but without the rest, I'm afraid they're of no use."

Sophia toyed briefly with the idea of magically attaching one of the hooks to James' wrist, but eventually realized that there was no way to guarantee that the attachment wouldn't be permanent. James watched her, still fussing over one of her books. For the occasion of his first appearance on deck since his recovery, she was wearing a burgundy dress with silver embroidery trailing up the bodice and around the sleeves. He was fairly certain he'd never seen her in it before.

"Where did you get that dress?" he asked.

"I found it in the hold," she told him. "Do you like it?" She stood and turned around so that he could see the gown at its full advantage.

"You are, as usual, lovely."

His eyes followed her every move, and Sophia smiled. She enjoyed knowing she had his attention.

"If you found that dress in the hold, and we seem to have a never ending supply of whatever we need down there, do you think it's possible, then," James asked, "that there might be something with which we could attach this hook to my arm?"

"That's… a very good idea," Sophia said. "I should have thought of that."

"You can't always think of everything, you know," James teased her gently.

"I know!" Sophia said as she started for the door. "And that fact will continue to irritate me!"

Sophia spent nearly half an hour in the hold, rummaging through boxes filled with buttons, shoes, hats, clothing, candles, ammunition, alcohol, and various odds and ends. Finally, she spotted a flat, wide wooden box that had fallen behind a barrel of flour. It didn't look like anything she'd seen so far, and when she opened it, her suspicions were confirmed. The box contained a device similar to James' old one, though it was considerably more comfortable looking than its predecessor. It was as new as if it had just been picked up from the leather worker's shop. Sophia replaced the lid, put the box under her arm, and climbed back up the ladder to show James what she had found.

When both of them were finally properly attired, the Captain called Smee to his cabin and ordered him to assemble the crew on deck. Hook listened until the sound of the pirates' voices conveyed an appropriate measure of curiosity, and flung open the door. He stepped out onto the deck with Sophia on his arm. The pirates let out an explosive cheer. Many of them threw their hats in the air, others brandished their weapons. James took a step towards the ship's wheel, and the crowd parted for him. As he passed, the crew whooped and shouted.

"It's good to have you back, Cap'n!"

"Three cheers for Captain Hook!"

"Not even the croc could keep him down!"

James drank in the admiration hungrily, and Sophia could almost see him growing stronger and more confident with every moment that passed. She walked beside him unobtrusively, beaming with quiet pride.

When the crew had gone back to their work, Sophia and the Captain paced about the deck.

"It's good to be in the open air again," James said.

"Then just imagine how good it will be to be on the open sea," Sophia said.

James looked out longingly at the horizon where the ocean met the sky, but he shook his head. This was a topic of conversation they had only touched on briefly since Sophia had come back.

"You mean to try to help the ship sail from Neverland," he said doubtfully.

"If you'll allow it, yes, I do. I didn't spend years trying to get back here and get you back from the crocodile just so that things could go back to the way they were."

"Things as they were with you here were far better than they were without you," James said. "I don't want to lose you again."

Sophia held onto his arm more tightly and rested her head on his shoulder. "You won't lose me. We'll all go together this time. There's not chance of being separated, and this time, when we reach the Sea Between Worlds, I won't be alone."

"And then what will we do?" James asked.

"Oh, there are many places we could go… I don't think the real world is the best idea, but then, Neverland isn't the only magical world, you know. The Sea is just full of them!" Sophia's eyes were bright, and she became more and more animated as she talked. "I managed to find several of them while I was looking for Neverland, and I know how to get back to them, too. We could go to the places I know, or we could explore, find new worlds…"

"And you think you can do this without hurting yourself?" James asked.

"It won't be easy," Sophia told him. "Getting the entire crew through the barrier is going to require me to magically shield the whole ship, unless every man on board can rid his mind of his feelings about Neverland. But, that shouldn't hurt me. It might tire me out a little, that's all."

They had made a full circuit around the ship by now, and were facing land. It was summer in Neverland, and even from the ship it was obvious that the island was bursting with life. James face was pensive, and Sophia worried that Neverland's hold on him was too strong for him to break.

"When did you want to sail?" he asked.

"You're growing stronger every day," she said. "If I had my way, I'd spend tomorrow preparing, and we'd sail the day after that."

A small, boyish shape appeared above the trees. It circled above the beach for a while before turning towards the Indian village. James watched the boy go without saying a word. Finally, he told her, "Do what you must. We sail the day after tomorrow."

Sophia did not have time to be happy that he'd agreed. A cry from the man in the crow's nest made her look up. Two more Lost Boys were flying just off the starboard side of the ship. They were gesturing to one another excitedly, and Sophia realized they were pointing at Hook.

"We're leaving not a moment too soon, then," Sophia said. She slipped an arm around James' waist and a protective gleam glinted in her eyes.

"Peter Pan knows I'm back," James growled.

Sophia felt him tense, as if her were about to spring into action. It had been a long while since he had had a real enemy to fight. "Listen to me!" she insisted. "I want you to promise me you won't go looking for Peter Pan, just to have one last chance at him before we leave. In fact, I want you to promise me that you won't fight with the Lost Boys at all, even if they come to get a look at you."

"And what if they attack us first?" James asked.

Sophia smiled sweetly, but her eyes were hard as agate. "They won't," she said.