Part 31: The Decision
Nicholas blinked.
Somehow, he had never expected the Holy of Holies to look like the long-gone garden of his mortal home, right down to the little bench the village carpenter had made for his mother. Everything looked just as it did before he had been sent away to learn the duties of a Baron's son. It was one of the rare happy times of his life.
He was just about to smell one of the roses when...
Welcome, Nicholas. Please, take a seat; be comfortable.
That voice again! Whirling, Nicholas glanced frantically about for the speaker, recognized it as the same one that had spoken to him in his dream with the Vampire and then again as he lay dying. Had another of the Community followed him here? No, that was ridiculous... not a vampire. Not here in this sacred place. Another angel? But there was only Andrew standing quietly by the courtyard gate, a rapturous expression on his face.
It dawned on him then just who the speaker truly was and he trembled in awe.
"My God!" De Brabant whispered, falling prostrate onto the ground. His fingers clenched into the fertile 'soil' as if in his moment of panic he was considering digging his way out to avoid His wrath.
A warm sound of soft laughter.
Yes, my beloved one, I Am addressing you. But please, do get up and take a seat.
Gulping, De Brabant nervously picked himself off the grass and numbly sat down on the bench, head bowed in a gesture of subservience despite what had been said.
Some call me Jehovah or Yahweh, but I prefer simply that of your Father---there is no need here for formality between us: a parent and his child. Mine is not the way of your youth, Nicholas. I have no need for unthinking allegiance and demand only that you show me respect---as you should all others. This illusion of your old home is only to help you relax in pleasant surroundings. Again the friendly chuckle. Unless you'd prefer floating on clouds and rainbows?
Self-conscious of his appearance before the Almighty, the knight had raised his hands to brush himself off while God spoke, but found the action unnecessary. Amazingly, the dirt had failed to cling to him after he'd hugged it. Or maybe not so amazing as none of this was physically real. This was Heaven, after all.
Dear Everything! He was in Heaven standing---well, sitting anyway---before the Creator! There were so many questions popping into his mind; however, Nicholas was afraid to speak even one. A glance back to where Andrew was standing revealed that his escort was on the verge of laughter, obviously amused by his friend's reaction to God's greeting and resultant befuddlement.
De Brabant didn't know whether to be embarrassed at his discomfiture or annoyed with Andrew for enjoying it so much.
"Relax, Nicholas," The Angel of Death chuckled. "Unlike your other sire, this Father won't bite."
"Just fry me with a thunderbolt," Nicholas muttered.
Oh no! Had he actually said that out loud? For a second Nicholas was mortified---he'd insulted God!---but a blanket of warmth surrounded him and he felt himself relax under its touch.
Nicholas, Nicholas, you confuse me with the fiction of Zeus. I assure you I am much more emotionally sound than that temperamental myth. ...Even if I did create the platypus.
Recalling the consternation that had erupted amongst the stuffy, sanctimonious 'Professors of Scientific Study' when the first European had discovered an egg-laying, duck-billed fur bearer on the island continent of Australia, the corners of Nicholas's mouth couldn't help but twitch upwards.
He had always pictured the Almighty as a mighty monarch whose demand for justice had to be appeased if you fell away from the appointed path. Never had it occurred to him that God might have a sense of fun.
That's better. I gave you a beautiful smile---it's nice to see it being used at least once a century, the Father jokingly noted. Now you have, I'm sure, many questions you'd like to ask after 800-years of pondering my work. Go ahead and ask me one.
Feeling a bit better between God's display of good humor and Andrew's reassuring presence, Nicholas asked the first thing that popped into his head.
"Do you hate me?"
The loving warmth intensified until Nicholas felt his whole being tingle with it.
Oh, my child, of course not. You are as precious to me as any of my children.
"But I've murdered so many innocent people!"
And have repented a thousand-times over for each one---do you think I don't know everything you've done? Everything you've thought from the most selfishly vile to the most virtuous sacrifice? I KNOW you, Nicholas de Brabant, better than anyone. Trust that my opinion of your worth to me is sound. A pause. None I choose are perfect for none of my Children are. That is what Childhood is—growing from an imperfect state.
"I didn't mean to imply.." Nicholas began then sighed. Of course he knew he wasn't perfect---far from it. "What happens now?" he asked.
That depends. You could stay here and spend eternity with Me from this moment on.
Nicholas' eyes lit up with joy at that. He wanted so very much to stay here with Don, Natalie, Alyssa and Jeanne... and he'd yet to see so many of the others---like his mortal family. He had not seen them in so long he could scarce recall their faces.
The joy dissipated rapidly though and De Brabant froze with renewed apprehension. Was he mistaken, or had there been an unspoken 'but' at the end of God's statement?
Nicholas, my fretful knight---do you still think you are unworthy of this? Do you think that Moses was better? He had a temper to match yours. Patience? That shepherd's cudgel was not just used to walk with. Elijah constantly doubted and feared for his life. Peter had problems with bigotry. I tell you again, none of my servants are perfect.
That was the second time Jehovah had compared him to the prophets and saints and Nicholas was about to ask about that when there came the sounds of growling and demands for someone to be 'quiet'.
Come in, Miguel, Gregory.
A section of the 'garden' disappeared in a blaze of light as two Warrior Angels came through holding tightly onto golden chains that were attached to a prisoner. Crouched between the two angels and securely bound by the strong restraints was Nick's Vampire.
The humanoid animal's simple clothes were disheveled, its hair in disarray as it snarled and snapped at the two angels holding it captive. Tawny eyes that matched the chains in hue shone with both anger and fear.
Especially fear.
The Vampire howled its misery.
Somehow he had lost the reassuring presence of his Host---the Other having been ripped from him in a mere eye blink. With it had also gone every sense of family or kindred, leaving him utterly alone. Seconds later he'd been left stranded in this overly bright place that effectively blinded him. Where was he? And where was the Host? The Nicholas was needed to make sense of this! Setting out into this new and scary realm, he'd wandered in search of someone he knew, trying to find a scent or sound to follow, but it was useless---there was no scent he recognized---and of sounds there were too much!
Noisy strangers without heartbeats yet not smelling of kin had surrounded him fairly quickly. He'd snarled at them to warn them off, but that had only made them get louder. Their yells made his ears hurt. So he'd tried to lash back to make the noises stop. Unfortunately, they were strong and he was outnumbered. His cries to his pack calling for assistance had still gone unanswered and these strangers had succeeded in taking him captive. That made him angry as well as confused and afraid. Now he just wanted to bite someone---anyone! If they would not let him flee then he would fight!
"Vampire?" Nicholas was stunned at the sight of his long-time counterpart struggling with giant captors. He had not even realized until now that his and the creature's spirits had separated at death, though, indeed, he had long thought that gaining Heaven would automatically mean freedom from his bestial nature But that was before---when he'd considered vampires to be synonymous with evil. Since then he'd not given any new consideration to what would happen after he died.
At the sound of his voice, the Vampire gave a sharp bark of relief and lunged forward towards the knight, the desperation-powered move actually dragging the two angels forward a half step before their combined strength stopped him in his tracks.
"What's going on?" Nicholas asked the fearsome-looking pair, concern overshadowing his awe of the powerful entities. He glared at the angels, voice laden with indignation. "Why is he bound like that?" A lump of dismay knotted in his throat as his mind conjured up its own explanation before the angels could reply. "He isn't welcome in Heaven, is he?" De Brabant breathed as much to himself as to the Warriors. Expression aggrieved, he turned enough to round on Andrew, who was looking just as upset as the knight. "They're going to take him to Hell!" he accused the Angel of Death. The thought made his stomach lurch.
Braving the two angels towering over him, De Brabant strode between them to lay a hand on his doppelgänger's head. Instantly the Vampire calmed and 'looked' up---though it was clear from the nearly non-existent pupils that the humanoid animal could not see anything. It recognized him, though, nose flaring as he twisting to lick the knight's palm before leaning into him, purring in trusting contentment.
He was not alone now---not alone. The Host had come at last; together they would survive.
Nicholas sighed. He had to do something---say something on its behalf. Absently, he let his fingers begin to smooth the errant locks, searching for the right words as he pleaded, "He's not evil or wicked really. You can see that, can't you, Lord Jehovah? Surely there is a place here that he can stay?"
No, Nicholas, I would not toss him to the Fire, nor does he deserve Hell. However, your companion cannot be left here alone. He would need your influence to contain his volatile nature. I'm afraid that he may have to be consigned to Limbo where he will not harm himself or others.
"Limbo..." Nicholas did not like the sound of that. His religious upbringing taught that Limbo was... well, like waiting room. Dull, boring, waiting until you were allowed into Heaven. But if you were never allowed in?
The garden scene changed to that of a muted landscape where hundreds of people---but most particularly vampires---roamed and concerned themselves with simple activities. None seemed unhappy. However, neither did any express any sense of true joy. After being in the brilliance and eternal song of Heaven, this... mundaneness was downright depressing.
Limbo is not as you are thinking, Nicholas. It is a realm of quietude, Jehovah spoke softy. It is the place for those who are not evil, yet who cannot or will not tolerate Heaven. He will be with others of his kind who've passed before. Those and their 'Host's who are neither wicked enough for damnation nor able to abide My Presence.
Nicholas watched the vampires---or to be strictly accurate---the Vampires and their Human Hosts living together in mutual companionship, ignoring the regular humans as they, in kind, were ignored. Could he leave his Vampire here while he reveled in the presence of Glory?
No... He couldn't. How could he possibly be happy when a loved one was... not?
"But it wouldn't be the same for him," Nicholas argued searching for some loophole to this situation. "He'd still feel alone without my being here with him." He looked up---as good a direction as any for 'facing' God. "I can watch over him," Nicholas volunteered.
For what amounts to near eternity? came the sympathetic reply. He would never change, Nicholas---not for millennium. Humans in Limbo have some opportunity to change, but Vampires..? They are more set in their ways, my child. Only on Earth with its 'active' environment is there the possibility of growth.
De Brabant hesitated. He wanted to say yes--- that he would accept the role of guardian. But truthfully, the reality of eternity was beyond even his ken. Odds were stacked that at some point he'd fail in his stewardship. He certainly didn't have a great track record with such things. Not only that, but his twin would always be without his sight---rendered blind for as close to forever as made no difference.
What kind of options were these? Unrelenting and unending loneliness or blindness?
Nicholas felt the hot tears fill his eyes.
"Is there no hope then?"
One.
"Yes?" Nicholas blinked back his tears. If it could be done, he would attempt it.
On Earth. The sunrise has not yet touched your body, so it is still a capable vessel. I can send you both back---where you'd continue living as a vampire.
"Oh..." the knight whispered with reluctance, not really wanting to go back now that he was here. Not if it could be helped. "But wouldn't that just be postponing the inevitable? I'd just die again sometime in the future and we would be back to the same dilemma."
True, you would eventually die once more. But between then and now you could build your relationship with this Vampire so that when you returned, you and he would be as One in mind and temperament. There would be neither Nicholas nor Vampire natures contending with each other---but something truly special... a blending of both.
"Symbiotic," Nicholas swallowed at the idea of being eternally intertwined with this hedonistic animal. Sure he cared about its fate, but...
"It is a risk, my friend.," Andrew spoke up, seeing his friend's hesitation. "If you agree to go back with him then he would evolve with you. In effect the Vampire is now the unruly toddler to your teenager. Both matured together each would be greater than either is separately. But only if you remain dominant." He placed a cautioning hand on de Brabant's shoulder. "Let your Beast take control, and you would both descend into pure animalism."
"A winner takes all, loser goes to Hell proposition.." Nicholas breathed.
Yes, my child. But you are forgetting that there is even more at stake. ...Your kindred on Earth.
Nicholas stiffened.
"What about them?"
The Night People have never learned to hear me---a rare enough thing for the Day People. You were the only one, Nicholas. The longer I go unknown to them, the more end up in Limbo or worse. He wrapped his Love around the knight. If you go back, you could teach them of Me. Give them the opportunity to change. To grow as well.
Limbo... Jehovah was saying that all of his friends from Aristotle to Merlin would end up in that silent place... being content with themselves, but never gaining anything more. Never knowing the fullness of Heaven. Of this Peace.
De Brabant wrapped himself in the Love and the music like it was a shielding cloak protecting him from a bitter rain.
Oh, but he did not want to leave this! Yet how could he let his inaction condemn the others to that which he feared himself? And Lacroix? Left alone to mourn his son, would his sire even make it to Limbo? Nicholas had never realized it before, but now his spirit knew that his presence in the older vampire's life had actually had a quelling effect on the Roman's penchant for violence. As bad as it had been at times, it could have been much worse. That incident on the train with Corporal Adolf Hitler came to mind. If he had not been there to gainsay the move, Lacroix would have brought that one across.
He did not want to go back to Earth and play at being a Moses.
But he had to go, didn't he?
Decision nearly made, Nicholas asked, "What must I do? How will I be able to help guide them as you say?"
Merely listen for Me. I will tell you what to say and to whom.
"No 'going to Africa'? No preacher's tents or revivals?" Nicholas' voice nearly cracked with nervousness. He really did value his privacy and had no desire to be an evangelist. And going from past history, saints and prophets never fared well under the public eye until many years after they'd been crucified, staked, immolated, hung, stoned...
God chuckled. No, Nicholas, I will bring those open to hear about Me to you. You may stay or go wherever you wish. All that is required is that you remain open to hear when I speak to you.
"Oh," Nicholas couldn't help the deep sigh of relief that escaped his lips.
I will always love you no matter what you decide, Nicholas. But I must have your decision now.
Reaching to hold his Vampire close, Nicholas smiled a little woefully. "Just don't lose our luggage on the way down?"
Heavenly laughter came from the Holy of Holies as Andrew laid his hand on the knight's shoulders.
And Nicholas de Brabant with Vampire disappeared from Heaven...
tbc
A/N: I had the most horrible time trying to figure out how to address Nick's Vampire half... 'he' or 'it' and or a combo of both and when? After messing around awhile, I decided to just chuck the question and get this posted before you all despaired of me. Oh, and I forgot to count the epilogue chapter so this story is actually 33 and not 32 in total.
Reading what I've written so far, I can only hope I haven't offended the Almighty by putting words in his mouth---especially ones I don't think He'd agree with. cough Well, if you read in the papers that someone in the U.S. got fried by lightning... don't expect post #32 anytime soon.