"Here I am."

Sequel to "Finding No Comfort in The Flames"

(golden sun songfiction)

Alone… It's a scary word. It conjures the worst thoughts in your mind. It plays games with your conscious. It's possibly the most depressing idea ever. And it's real.

Ivan was alone tonight, once again. She wasn't there. He was, but she wasn't. She had stirred the thoughts in his mind and then left. The last words echoed painfully in his mind. "I'm sure you and that Feizhi will be very happy." Then she had walked out, that was well over a month ago. Sheba did.

(Here I am… With broken wings. Quite thoughts. Unspoken dreams.

Here I am… Alone again. I need her now. To hold my hand...)

But she left him all by himself. Vault was minus one wind-adept. Sheba had walked out so suddenly. Ivan barely had time to swipe the thought from her mind about her going, with Jenna back to Lalivero. He felt somewhat guilty over that, she would have told him if she wanted him to know. But she didn't and she hadn't talked to him since then. Not that he could blame her; he had been "out" with another woman. Granted, while it was Feizhi, he never felt the same way while he was with her as he did with Sheba. Sheba and he seemed to be so much the same person. Even if they weren't wind-adepts, they would've still known what the other was thinking.

(She's all; she's all I ever had. She's the air I breathe.

She's all; she's all I ever had…)

It all went back to the time at Jupiter Lighthouse. Ivan was trying to fight off the Proxians, with the help of Isaac. When Sheba came around the corner, and into sight, he must have been transfixed. In an instant, he was hit, and downed. "I guess that's what you get." He said, and as the words drifted aimlessly out the open window. From his viewpoint, he could see the finished product of several months. New Vale, to be specific. He knew that Isaac and Mia had settled there. Every time you looked at them, Isaac would throw himself head-long into a passionate kiss with Mia. "It must be nice, not to be alone." Again, pain poured out of him with the words.

A star shot across the sky as Ivan sighed. Even the djinni who sat with him seemed to be depressed. "Are you going to sit here all night, or are you going to do something about it?" Gust, his first creature friend, spoke up. He was always a take-charge kind of djinni, a good influence for Ivan. Too bad the floating assistant couldn't stop him from sneaking out on Sheba one night. Ivan would always over-analyze things, rather than to act on them. Well, he had, until that night last month.

(Flashback Begins)

"This place is a lot different than I expected." Ivan said as his eyes scanned the large open room. The place was a new club, 'Breeze', open only to wind-adepts; like him and Sheba, and unfortunately to Feizhi. 'Well, this way more awkward than… pretty well anything.' Another thought plagued him at this point. 'Why am I here with Feizhi, why not Sheba? I said that I couldn't go out tonight when she arrived at my house. Then, I sneak out just to be with another girl. This would be a fairly simple problem to resolve, if I wasn't quite in this spot.' Yes, what was also true was exactly how close he and Feizhi were at this point. It was more than just their lips that were pressed up against each other; Feizhi was practically crawling all over him. He figured it was the whole "helped to save the world from destruction" bit, that had work too well. At first he didn't resist, hell, he encouraged her. It wasn't until someone walked in, a person wearing very familiar clothing. She unfortunately noticed them, how couldn't she? "What in the name of Atalanta are you doing, Ivan?" 'Yikes! I know that voice.' And as he should, he turned bright red in embarrassment, as Sheba peeled the 'fangirl' off of Ivan in a fit of rage.

(Flashback Ends)

Another sigh. Ivan realized that everything reminded him of Sheba, whom he should never have been cheating on. "I deserve to be dropped off of Venus Lighthouse!" Then his eyes went wide, "Oh geez that just leads me back to thinking about Sheba..." He buried his face in his hands, just as the djinni patted him on the shoulder and asked a question. "Well, what did you have with her that you're so broken up about?" Ivan looked up with shock and horror. "She was the perfect woman, she was beautiful, intelligent, she LOVED a joke, especially about Garet, granted we could always read each others minds, and until that night, she was mine…"

"You really stepped in it that time, huh?" Gust piped up. "Thanks! You are soooo… helpful." He didn't even look at the djinni. "Well, how's Feizhi been?" Ivan shuddered at the name, that name had screwed his life around. The djinni didn't notice, and continued. "Actually, come to think of it, you haven't talked to Feizhi (shudder) at all since then. What did you see in Feizhi? (shudder) What did Feizhi (angry shudder) have that Sheba didn't?" '…an unhealthy obsession' Ivan thought into the djinni's mind. 'Now, please stop saying that name.' "Why, am I saying it wrong? Feizhi? Feeizhi? Feizhee?" the djinni continued the torturous vocal game. It was all that he could do, not to strangle the small purple creature. "I don't know it you're trying to be funny, but it makes me want to kill you…"

The silence persisted, but eventually Ivan answered. "She actually hasn't left town, I can still sense her." "Well, this should be obvious. Go over to her house, talk to her, maybe you can save one relationship out of all this mess." "Maybe I will." Ivan got up and crossed the room to leave. The trip to Feizhi's new residence in Vault was made quickly, even for a person so fleet-of-foot. When he turned up at her house, he pounded on the door.

"Hello… hello! hello?" He rapped over and again on the solid wood door. No answer came to respond. "Please Feizhi, I know you're there, answer me." Still there was nothing. "Don't make me have to beg…"

Just then the door flung open, hitting Ivan square in the face and sending him falling backward to the ground. "Well, if it isn't Mr. Hero?" She had a twisted sneer on her face, much unlike her usual self. "What's the matter? Sheba left you so you're going back to your number two pick?" Ivan jumped to his feet as fast as humanly possible and tried to defend himself. "But isn't the more important part, that you are my choice now?" Feizhi's mouth gaped open. "What's that supposed to mean? You believe that you can just show up here and I'll jump at the chance to be with you? Ivan, I don't want to just be your go-to girl when things aren't going well with you and another woman." "But, I'm sorry, it can't happen again, Sheba and I broke up for good." She faked a smile, a sickening smile. "Words; it's all better now… Not! If you cheated on Sheba, how can I know that you wouldn't cheat on me?" "But…" "No, that's enough talk from you. If you think that I can be won back that easy, you're out of your psynergic mind!" "Listen then, mind read me and you'll see the truth. I know as well as you do that you are a master at that." The door slammed shut. Feizhi yelled through, "I don't want flattery from a cheater." Ivan hung his head in shame and turned away from the house.

Across the county, a young blonde haired man starred out to the east. His name was Isaac and he was picking up the psynergic messages from Ivan. He'd been getting them for about two weeks now. He knew things weren't going good. Ivan had one special ability from traveling with the group so long. Distances were nothing when it came to sending messages; readings from afar were quite another story, so he couldn't get answers back.

"What's he saying this time?" His blue-haired fiancé asked from the large armchair across from the window. "He's really trying to make Feizhi believe him. I think he may have given up on Sheba for good." Isaac shook his head slowly, a note of vicarious despair stayed with him. "He'll figure out one of these days that you can't hide secrets from other wind-adepts." "Really? That's weird because I wasn't quite getting that same message. Oh well, nothing more we can do." Mia nodded in agreement, calling Isaac over to her. "Maybe I should take your mind off that for a while?" A slight smile spread on Isaac's face, he seemed to be about to say something, but it quickly was replaced. His mouth was in use for anything but words…

Back in Vault

Ivan had turned away and began the walk of shame back to his house. In one foolish move, he lost the possible love of two women. He wondered why he couldn't have just chosen one. 'Where should I go now?' The words echoed in his skull. They stung like a needle jabbing him over and over. "This night couldn't get any worse." He said to no one in particular. But the night wasn't over yet…

A slow foot shuffling was the best transportation Ivan could manage for the jaunt home. He pushed through the door carelessly, and almost ran straight into someone. A short, blonde someone. "Sheba? When did you get here?" Ivan was startled, to say the least. It wasn't an easy moment to stomach; in fact, it sat like a brick in his belly. Even if someone enjoyed silence that time would still be more then one's day's worth of it.

"Ivan, I'm confused." Ivan motioned to speak, but Sheba held her hands up, closed her eyes, and turned her head a little to the right. The wince on her face made it clear that she needed to get through this story before anything else could be started. "It started when I left Vault to go back to Lalivero. I was so mad at you; I just needed to get away. Jenna and I stayed there for over two weeks and then I got more visions. They told me to come back here." Ivan shifted on his spot before speaking up, despite what she wanted. "No they didn't. I know what you're thinking; I'm a Jupiter-adept too. The door swings both ways." Sheba appeared stunned at first, but then sat down on the nearest chair as Ivan took in her thoughts. His eyes went wide as he absorbed the events of the last month. "That's, however, not exactly what I had meant by that statement…" The young man said as he finished the read and came to the night that she and Jenna had spent together.

"Well, there you are…" Sheba could hardly face Ivan, as the embarrassment had turned a 180. "I don't know exactly what to say." "I know; I still do not believe how easily I gave in to a foolish emotion like that. I am, as of yet, unable to come to a conclusion about all this. I don't know who I love." "Hey, join the club! Buy the t-shirt!" "Ivan, I'm going to say what I had never wanted to say before. I want to give 'us' another try." It was his turn to be astonished again. "Even after what I didn't?" Sheba got up and walked to Ivan, where she put a hand on his shoulder. "If we don't have each other, who do we have? The djinni?" Ivan starred dumbfounded at her. "I'm only kidding!" She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into a tight embrace. The silence bent the laws of time but this moment shattered it to them. They didn't want to let each other go, lest they drift apart again.

(It's the way she makes me feel; it's the only thing that's real.

It's the way she understands; she's my lover, she's my friend.

When I look into her eyes, it's the way I feel inside.

Like the man I want to be, she's all I'll ever need.)

The time came and they felt the magnet's pull towards each other. Their lips locked for the first time well over a month and their eyes gently closed. The kiss was given and received on both sides with passion. When they broke apart slowly for some much-deserved air, Ivan spoke up, at no more than a whisper. "So, what was it like…" "Ivan dear, you should be glad I came back here to you," Sheba replied carefully, her face smeared with a grin. "So don't push it."

(So much time, so much pain. There's one thing that still remains.

The way she cared, the love we shared. And through it all, she's always been there.

She's all; she's all I ever had. And the world is so cold, so empty.

She's all; she's all I ever had…

It's the way she makes me feel; it's the only thing that's real.

It's the way she understands; she's my lover, she's my friend.

When I look into her eyes, it's the way I feel inside.

Like the man I want to be, she's all I'll ever need.