Today is the WWE family picnic. Ric told us it's an annual thing and everyone has a great time. Judging by the look on most people faces they'd rather be at the dentist having teeth pulled. Well that's how i feel it's bad enough being dragged about by two mental old bats but to top it all of Mr Mcmahon is here. And i have to be introduced to everyone inculding Ric's kids. I hate those arkward moments were you go through all the formal meeting. Fleur this is so and so, so and so this is Fleur. Then there's the false cheery smile and firm friendly hand shake where you say pleased to meet you. You aren't pleased of course you'd rather be talking to your friends. I look round and see Vince McMahon sat on a bench holding his head as three little children pull at his trouser leg.
"Grandpa Vince chase me" one screams
"Grandpa Vince buy me an ice cream" another squeels
"Having fun there Vince?" asks Ric with a grin
"Whoever invented family picnic should be shot" Vince says in a dry voice. He picks up his can of beer and downs the lot.
Oh dear i must remember to avoid McMahon at all costs.
We walk over to a free picnic bench still playing happy familys when Ric smiles brightly
"David" he shouts, not that he needs to shout he's already loud enough. If i go Deaf i'm sueing him!
"Hey Dad" the young man shouts back.
He is sitting at a table with a tall beautiful blonde woman, two twin girls with identical brunette hair in pig tails.
I sit down feeling ever so slightly uncomfortable around all of these new people. I mean i am really shy and i'm very careful about what i say as i'd hate to cause anyone any offense.
"Hello Stacy, where's your family?" asks Ric
Oh so those two aren't married then.
"They couldn't make it so i thought i'd come and talk to my old father in law" the blonde laughs
I look at them all for a moment. So Is Stacy David's ex wife? What the hell is going on in that messed up family. Ric obviously noticed my confusions.
"Stacy is a wrestler" Ric explains "she and David used to be in a fed together where they were together"
"Oh i see" I say nodding my head, pretending to know what's going on. What's a fed again? Well i'm not going to ask because they'll all laugh at me.
All there is for me to do is sit and stare at my plate. Not the most interesting thing in the world. Ric, David and Stacy are all talking about wrestling while My mother tries her hardest to join in. It's quite embaressing really. Mean while the brats...i mean David's girls are arguing over who gets to play with malibu Barbie.
"Fleur darling have you ever considered being a diva, maybe Ric could get you a little backstage job or in one of the offices" My mom suggests while trying to get me to join in the conversation.
It's official my mother has gone completly out of her mind. Mind you i'm not sure you can lose somthing you never had.
"No i don't think so" I say politly
"Well sweetheart i think it would be good for you" she continues and i roll my eyes which starts her off again.
"Fleur Williams don't you roll your eyes at me, you young lady should have some more respect!" she says in a raised tone, she won't shout because she wouldn't want to embaress her precious boyfriend. Not like he shouts and draws attention to anyone.
"Go on Fleur you would do really well in the offices" Ric says taking my Mom's side as per usual.
"Well Ric "I say in a formal tone of voice, at least i hope it is. "I'd rather watch paint dry"
"Fleur!" My mother yells and everyone looks round.
"Yeah well i hate offices" i say shrugging my shoulders.
Mom just shakes her head give me the ' I'm very disappointed in you' look. Yeah like that's supposed to make me feel guilty.
I bite my lip, er no i definatly don't feel guilty...well i do kind of.
Everyone looks up and smiles...what are they smiling at?
"Randy why don't you join us" says Ric in a merry voice.
Maybe he's drunk. A young man sits down beside me. Oh god he's gorgeous. Do not make a fool out of yourself. Whatever you do stay calm.
"Hey" says Randy.
Wow even his voice is sexy.
"Randy this is my new girlfriend Rachel and her daughter Fleur" Ric says introducing us all.
I can honestly say this isn't one of those arkward introductions and if i say nice to meet you i will actually mean it for once.
"Randy here is twenty and is in a stable with me and two other guys Dave and Hunter "Ric continues but i'm not really listening to him anymore.
"So Ric" I ask "What were you saying about office jobs?"
"Oh so you want to work there now?" Mom asks raising an eyebrow at me.
Honestly that woman can't even trust her own daughter. That's terrible.
"Fleur would you like some Dr pepper?" asks Ric with a bright smile.
"Er...no thanks" I reply
Oh God he's going to tell my mom and i haven't been rude at all today.
"But you love DR Pepper" my mom says suspiciously
There she goes questioning me again!
"Yeah well i want to be healthy and just drink water" I explain
"Why?" she asks with a stupid bewilderd expression on her face.
"Because it's good for you and it doesn't stain" I reply
"Or explode" adds Randy.
Randy, David, Ric and Stacy all giggle a little. Oh great they all know now!
"What's..."mom starts
"Shall we make our announcment?" asks Ric changing the subject.
Thank god for that, i can't believe he is doing this to me.
"Ric and I are getting married!" mom explains
The lid on the bottle of water flys off as she says this and Mr Mcmahon get's soaked as he walks past the table. Oh not again. But that's the least of it. They looney toons are getting married. They barely know each other!
"But you hardly know each other!" I exclaim in pure outrage.
"Oh darling.."my mom starts
"How can you do this to me!" I exclaim
"but i thought you and Ric were getting along now" she sighs
"Well we are sort of.."I admit grudgingly, I suppose he's ok but i didn't want him to know that.
"Well what's the problem?" asks David "I think it's great"
Who asked his opinion?
"Well it's ok that they love each other but..but..but i'm gonna be called Fleur Flair!" I cry.
As if Fleur isn't a bad enough name, my mental mother would have to be different. To top it all off they all burst out laughing. Well isn't that charming i'm having a crisis and they're laughing!