I just knew tonight was going to be a disaster i just knew it. The smell or burning is travelling through from the kitchen. I told mom she can't cook but did she listen to me? Nope not a chance. She splashed me with water instead. She stands up quickly and runs through to the kitchen. I stay in my seat twirling my straw about in my glass watching the swirly patters. I look up to find everyone looking at me. They can look at me all they want what exactly am i meant to do. Call up the magical tooth fairy and ask her to go back in time and give my mother cooking skills? I don't think so. I roll my eyes dramatically as i stand up and walk through into the kitchen. Honestly the things i do for these people. Half of them i've never met and the others i met at the picnic. Luckily for me i've had the chinese place on speed dial since i was six. I wouldn't feed my moms cooking to the dog...well if we had a dog i wouldn't feed it to the dog.
"Fleur Darling" She calls as i hang up the phone.
A daughters duty is never done. What on earth does she want this time. I sigh as i turn round to face her.
"What?" i ask her.
"Don't take that tone with me!" she exclaims "and don't say What"
I roll my eyes and stick my tongue out when she turns round. She is so infuriating she treats me like i'm an immature child.
"Whatever would you like me to do oh mother dearest?" i ask sarcastically.
"Go entertain the geusts while we wait for the food to arrive." she tells me completly overlooking the fact that i was being sarcastic. She's not the sharpest knife in the draw.
"Entertain the geusts?" i ask
"Yes" she says impatiently like it's the most obvious thing in the world.
Entertain them? What am i meant to do..plate spinning and jumping through hoops of fire?
"Do i look like a clown to you?" i ask
"Well you are wearing quite alot of make-up..."she starts as she looks at me.
"ha ha ha excuse me while i colapse into fits of hysterical laughter" I say raising my eyebrow at her.
"Oh and Fleur at least act like a polite young lady" she adds as i go to leave the room.
She's one to talk! I can't believe she told me i need to be polite what about her getting her own daughter to be a clown for an evening.
Everyone looks up as i make my grand enterance into the room walking like a lady. I've never felt so graceful as i slide into my chair and smile brightly at everyone. Then brat number one pulls on the chair leg sending me flying to the ground in a rather less then graceful fashion. Aren't kids adorable...no!
"Oh my god Fleur are you ok?" asks David's wife the only polite person at the table. Everyone on else is sat there laughing..except for brat number one who is stood there laughing. If her parents weren't there her malibu barbie would be going on a little trip to the dump with a one way ticket.
Why am i becoming apart of this physco family my future neice just shoved me off a chair for goodness sake! And does anyone care about my well being..ha yeah right!
"Have a nice trip Fleur?" asks Randy.
"I don't find that very appropriate" I tell him not looking him in the eye.
And he's still laughing at me. How blatently rude. I don't care how gorgeous..and sexy..with blue eyes..i mean i don't care if he is hot i hate him. He is arrogant and cocky. Infact his ego is so big it's a wonder he got through our front door. I was about to tell him as much but the door bell went. Finally the food is here and they can all go away home never to return again.
As we are all sat eating mom decides to include me in conversation. She's blissfully unaware that when i sit not talking or looking at anyone it means i want to be alone. Even when i say i don't feel like talking she calls me a drama queen and carries on talking. What i wouldn't give for one sane family member. My family tree consists of looneies and physcopaths. My grandmother has about fifty cats and can never remember my name. My uncle thinks he's a monkey and well my mother is...my mother enough said. I won't even think about the rest of them. They're all rude and speak without thinking. My aunt Claires the worst though. She's a large woman with a voice to match and she's got awful dress sense. The woman goes about wearing pink, red and green. If that's not mental i don't know what is. Wait yes i do..my mom!
"So Fleur thought anymore about the office job?" she asks as she collects the empty plates from the table.
"Erm i don't think it's my thing" I reply carefully.
"Fleur it'll be a great experience you'll love it!" she exclaims in an overly cheery tone.
She sounds more and more like Ric everyday. No need for an alarm clock one of them will wisper and the whole street will be awake.
"I won't love it because i'm not doing it" I tell her in my firm tone of voice letting her know she's not the boss of me.