Author: Daisy

Rating: PG although some parts might be rated higher.

Summary: This is Draco's story. It has no clear beginning and it has not clear end. Each chapter is another part of his history. Each part details his journey through the darkness that each person holds inside.

Disclaimer: I hold no authority over any of J.K Rowling's books. I most definitely do not own any of the Harry Potter books.

Author's notes: This will (eventually) be slash. If you don't like that sort of thing perhaps it would best not to get attached to this story!

Into the Darkness

By: Daisy

People often find themselves looking for something to hold in their lives. It seems like the world turns too fast for them to grasp what they have just seen. It is like putting a movie in fast forward and sitting back to watch it, but just as you reach the couch, the movie comes to an end and you hear the click of the tape. You could rewind as many times as you want but as long as the movie is in fast forward you would never see any of it. Life is a bit like that too. You turn around to reach for your goal but just as you grasp it, the VCR/DVD player goes click and you realize you have spent your whole life going after that one goal. No one ever gets the chance to get comfortable because that would mean that the world has come to a stop, which would in turn, end all human life. It is a sad reality and one that everyone is forced to live with. No human will ever find that something to hold because there is no something and no one has time to figure that out.

I guess that is the point of human life. It is not the treasure at the end; it is the journey there. My sixth year at Hogwarts was much like that journey. It was in sixth year that my world began to spin faster then I could comprehend. When that occurs, many times it leads to bad decisions. I will be the first to admit that haste makes for errors and that year I created more problems then humanly possible.

Like all Malfoys, I was addicted to power. I lived in a family where power was the only way to gain dignity and respect. I craved respect and dignity but to get what I wanted, I had to have power. Oh scaring first and second years was great fun and almost always boosted my ego but I wanted real power; the kind where you have control over everything, the kind of power that people hate and fear. It was a stupid thing to want and wish for because as the proverb goes 'be careful what you wish for, you might just receive it'.

I was still upset that dear old daddy was in prison from when Potter had placed him there in fifth year. Not because I missed him or anything like that but because it meant that my mother was all alone with me and I think I fear her more then my father. She was the one that I never knew what she was thinking or she was going to do next. It was that, that scared me. I did not understand then, that she loved me and was just trying to protect me from my father's abusive ways.

Stupid Potter thought that he knew it all. Well obviously he was not thinking clearly because humanity hates to be surprised. By saying father was a death-eater, Potter gained more enemies. I guess that was partly my doing. Mother and I played victims all summer long. I still do not understand why mother would want to be a victim. I mean I knew she hated father and yet she still pretended that she missed father. Maybe she thought I would listen to her if I thought she was on the same side. I will never know now though.

When I arrived at the station, everyone looked at me with pity, or what I perceived as pity. The only other thing I saw when I arrived was the devastation that Lord Voldemort had created. There were no more skipping, dancing, happy children. All that was left were tired worn parents dragging their crying children behind them. Being the big git I was, I caught myself smirking. Things were going to be different now. I quickly schooled my features back into a somewhat depressed look; I still had to play victim.

It wasn't long before I had the entire Slytherins ready to kill Potter. It was not hard to get all of the Slytherins to hate Potter for what he did to me. I was royalty among them and Potter and his gang had put many of these kids' parents in a dangerous position. All this led to what I hoped would be Potter's worst nightmare. I was soon letting all of my fury go.

We played all sorts of tricks on Harry and his friends. The one that sticks out the most is where all of the Slytherins made it look like the carriages that take us to Hogwarts were full. The Golden Trio did not seem to think it was all that funny to walk. The Slytherins and I had so much fun poking fun at them, at least until I (we) was caught. I was forced into a week with that witch of a woman, McGonagall. It turned out that my small prank had caused most of the staff to go into frenzy over what could have happened. I pretended that it I had forgotten about why everyone was watching him. The act was not played out to perfection, but it really did not matter, everyone knew I would give anything to get rid of him.

I enjoyed dear old Potter's face whenever he saw me. White is supposed to be the colour of purity and peace. Well Harry, being Harry, changed the rules. His face was white with rage. I don't really understand what's wrong with a little bit of exercise, but I guess four hours is a little long. It was a constant reminder of the power that I held over him. I loved making Harry go pop. It was one of my favorite games, well, that and scaring Neville with horror stories about Snape.

I guess that's why everyone figured I would end up dead at Harry's feet. He hated me more then anything. I am sure that if he had no pride and no common sense I would have been dead in a matter of seconds. I guess that does not really matter though, see as I made it through his rage and I am still alive and doing fine, well as fine as I can be.

I was lucky that both of his friends were loyal to him otherwise I am sure I would have ended up in the hospital wing more then the few times that I did. I am sure that it would have been for something worse then black eye and purple fingers. Harry never did grow out of his awful colour sense but I am getting ahead of myself. Memories tend to do that though. They tend to bring you to places that you did not really think about before. I wonder why these memories haunt me in the way that they do. I wonder if maybe I feel guilty for the things that happened to me that year. I guess I should tell the rest of my story before I get ahead of myself.

As I said it was in sixth year that I really noticed the difference in the world. To be precise, it was near Christmas when I came to realize just where I belonged in the upcoming war. Most kids had gone home for Christmas. I think it is because everyone knew that the war was coming. I am sure some figured that this would be the last Christmas they would be together as a family.

My family hated Christmas. Or more that my father hated Christmas and the rest of us just agreed with him. We all figured it was pointless but that was not something that one goes telling others. We acted like any normal family. We decorated everything and made a big deal out of such a dull holiday. We did it every single year, except that year. Part of the reason was that my father was still in prison and part of the reason was that my father had somehow managed to get word to my mother that he thought this would be a good lesson for me. For some reason, my mother agreed with him. They figured that if I stayed at school, I would listen to them when I went home in the summer. I think it is more the fact that father was in prison and I really did not want to stay near my mother. Her whole loving me act just scared me.

Even though I did not go home, mother decided to write me every day that I was away. It was very embarrassing to receive her letters at the time but now those letters are the only thing that keeps me sane at night.

It was later, once everyone who was going home for the holiday had left, that I figured I should find out who were to be my roommates for the festive season. Dumbledore had decided that since most of the kids had left, the rest of us would be bunked all together. We were all given a bed in the Room of Requirements. Some how though Dumbledore had made it so that the room would not change once he had set it. It was not so bad, the girls were given half the room, and us guys were given the other half. Everyone fit but it was snug.

I started to look around to see who had been left behind. There were not many people around my age. I soon realized that I was the only sixth year there, or at least I would have been if Potter had not shown up. Unfortunately, for both of us, the only bunk left was the right beside me. Lucky us.

"This is going to be the worst Christmas ever." is what he said as he threw all his stuff unto the bed.

"What? You think I am going to have fun with you here?" I replied. It made me so mad that just because my parents thought that this was going to teach me some sort of lesson I would have to sleep beside him. I agreed. This was going to be awful. It was the first Christmas I had spent alone and even that thought did not cheer me.

Some how we both managed to get through the next couple of days. We made it up to Christmas Eve without arguing too much and then something made us both go pop. I do not even remember what exactly what happened. All I remember is that he made me so angry that I punched him. I remember watching him fall and realizing that I would be in so much trouble if someone caught me, and so I fled the scene. I ran and ran. I went out through the front doors. I had no idea where I was running to and what I was going to do next, all I knew was that I could not be found. When I saw the Forbidden Forest, I knew that was the perfect spot.

I have never made a worst decision then that. When I went in to that forest, I did not realize that there are worst things then death. I guess I had reason to fear it for all of those other years. I will never know what force drove me to think that the Forbidden Forest would be better then a month's detention. All I know is that when I woke up the next morning I was different.

Thank you soooooooooooo much to all of you who have given me feed back. I really hope you are enjoying where this is going. Well until next time. Love you Mucho