An Outsider

My name's Ayumi. I've been Kagome's friend for a long time, and we've been through many normal up and downs together, many years of change, both in our bodies and in our hearts.

I suppose when we were younger we were closer; without the intrusion of the many solicitudes that come with the growing awareness of maturity on our friendship we were drawn to one another in the blissfully single-minded world of childhood.

But upon entering our teenage years we became more tuned in to our friendship, or at least I did, acutely aware of the little things that transcended our everyday interactions. I was more analytical than ever of the secrets withheld, a dwindling of trust, the jealousy felt but never spoken of, the troubles dealt with alone, the feelings that we felt our no-longer-so-innocent friends would never understand, like unpleasant spices added to a once familiar food.

Gain other friends we did, which served to only further us apart in regards to the openness we had once enjoyed as ignorant, carefree youths. We may have found solace in taking our hearts off of our sleeves, but I missed having such a close friend...that it seemed as if we were one.

Kagome did change, and just the fact that she was no longer a daily reminder of the friend I had cherished helped me to accept these adjustments to our friendship with slightly greater ease. I learned to tolerate the new Kagome, the girl who I now spend my school day and leisure time with. Though...occasionally I still miss the old her, along with the old friendship we shared.

I can't help but be concerned for her nowadays; she's been so sick for the past year, and her multiple illnesses are showing no signs of relenting. It makes me feel guilty when I think of how our friendship has waned and lessened to something so antithetical of it's previous form that I have to wonder what she wants. Does she want her friends to visit her? Sometimes it feels like we're interrupting something, like she's trying to leave us behind, and all her efforts are being diverted elsewhere. I hardly know who she is anymore, and the fault is partially mine.

The new Kagome is still kind and a bit clumsy, but she seems so much more grown up than she did before she started getting sick. Has all the time away from kids her age given her time to revert back to the uninfluenced entity she should be? Somehow I doubt it...she was always too tentative to undergo drastic changes alone.

She's become so much more confident; I can see it in the way she carries herself. It's reassuring to glimpse the old flame of compassion in her gaze, but at the same time uncannily startling. I've noticed recently that it's blended with something else, some deeper knowledge of pain, and a unique desperation to prevent such turmoil that only Kagome's eyes can achieve.

Who is this person that Kagome has become after all this time we've spent drifting apart? I know she hasn't changed alone; I may not know her as well as I used to but I am able to deduce that much. Something...someone has changed her.

My thoughts on her changes had been floating idly around my brain for the longest, but the realization that the new Kagome in her was a product of some mysterious alteration in itself did not come until later.

"Ayumi," Houjou approached me with a look of controlled worry on his face, "Have you talked to or seen Kagome lately?"

I blinked, "No; she's been really sick with hypothyroidism."

"Oh." He rubbed his neck anxiously.

"Is there something worrying you?" I asked the boy, wondering if he'd heard an unsettling rumor or something.

"Just the usual. I can't help being concerned about Kagome; she's been sick for so long...it must be terrible."

I gave a weak chuckle, "Yeah, I know what you mean. 'She'll get better soon' is fast getting to be a redundancy."

Houjou shook his head, "We really shouldn't be so apprehensive; the time we live in is the pinnacle of medical technology."

"Speaking of time," I glanced at the clock, "School's about to start. You'd better get to class."

That night I called Kagome, planning to tell her about Houjou's sweet concern for her. Eri and Yuka had talked of little else during lunch, casting their eyes over to where Houjou sat eating a sandwich time and again.

"Hello?" My friend's voice answered. She didn't sound sick.

"Hey Kagome, it's Ayumi. Are you still not feeling well?"

Kagome made a shifty noise, "I'm feeling much better, actually."

"That's good," I smiled, "Houjou was asking about you today. He really seems to care about you."

I was a little surprised to hear her uncomfortable sigh.

"Why don't you like Houjou, Kagome?" I questioned her wistfully, feeling tendrils of the old friendship thread back into place when she answered in an honest tone.

"Really...I guess I might have liked him two years ago, or even a year ago, but now..."

I grinned knowingly, "It's that guy you're seeing, isn't it? The one with the conflicting emotions?"

"InuYasha?" Kagome squeaked, after the fact sounding regretful of ever picking up the phone, "He...oh, I don't know at all. So much has changed..."

I nodded my head against the phone, "Don't I know it."

Kagome sighed in exhaustive agreement.

"So, I guess I'll see you in school tomorrow if you're feeling better."

"Yes, definitely." There was smile in her voice, reminiscent of the Kagome I was once so familiar with.

The next day was spent in the company of teachers, friends, and the new Kagome with her confidence and strange maturity that made me feel infinitely separate from her. Perhaps if I was more mature I could join her where she stood on the path so far from childhood, but I didn't feel ready, no matter how much I may have wanted to emulate her. Somehow I got the sense that she wanted me to stay where I was, that her speeding ahead of us maturity-wise was a burden for her alone.

Poor Houjou; by the end of the day he had been declined in his offer of an outing with Kagome that weekend, as well as been cut off in mid-sentence by her retreating form three times. He was still smiling amicably at her all the same as we left in response to the last bell.

As I was walking away from the front door of the school I was rendered speechless as I literally ran into a face I'd only seen once before, but which I had remembered many times thereafter: InuYasha. The boy was odd, but intriguingly so, his demeanor reminding me of a lost puppy as he moved about swiftly in his funny red clothes and black bandana.

"Watch where you're goin', would ya." He said gruffly, brushing his haori off as I regained my balance.

"You're...Kagome's friend." I gaped, suspecting he was here to see the very girl.

He eyed me irritably, "Uh huh. You're that girl from before," He observed.

I nodded my head ever so slightly, but before I got the chance to say more his gaze had wandered and he had darted away in a flash of red and silver. Turning, I saw him light upon the grass in front of Kagome, immediately taking her hand, his lips moving as he spoke.

I looked around for any sign of Eri and Yuka or Houjou but, finding none, I watched the scene play out for myself. Even from far away it was surprising to behold the couple's eyes. How could she have kept all those feelings hidden from us when she spoke of the boy? Perhaps it was a recent development. Her sudden and severe blush encouraged my assumption.

The boy had an otherworldly aura about him. I'd noticed it before, but it seemed to stand out as he caressed her small hands in his large ones, speaking with the same ardent intensity in his abstruse eyes. I couldn't help but gape as his hands went around her waist, pulling her closer. She didn't object, but kept looking up into his face as if nothing around her existed but InuYasha. Their body language told all; they were in love.

Perhaps this boy was the one who had changed Kagome so? It was obvious they complimented each other in the way a ladder did feet, or yin did yang, or night did day. The way InuYasha complimented Kagome...it made me understand how a friendship like theirs could change her into the new Kagome she was...but maybe it wasn't so bad. That is the conclusion I came to as InuYasha pulled her onto his back with a determined look and miraculously jumped out of sight; perhaps someday I'd find myself in a relationship or situation that changed me, and would consequently change my friendships to Kagome, Eri, and Yuka. But, perhaps, I'd come out of that friendship a stronger person than ever before.

The new Kagome was at once a combination of her old self and the new person that had arisen with the presence of her pale-haired friend. The memories and shadows of the old friend she had been to me rippled in the sparkling pool that was this Kagome, whom destiny had seen fit to move on from being solely my friend. I didn't really feel bitter or sad about it so much as I was...a little...proud of her. Going through changes like she had, she'd needed InuYasha, and he her I would think. She would always be my friend, no matter how she changed.

And another thing, that InuYasha certainly was a strange boy.