Closer
Notes: AOL does actually have chatrooms geared towards this type of stuff if you look hard enough, MSN too. Yahoo Groups has some good groups if you search for 'em.
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Honda
Question and Answer
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Honda looked up at the clock. Last class of the day, ten minutes left, and then escape for the next…forever actually. This was his last year; independence loomed on the horizon. Kind of. His parents had forced him into university and were paying for it and intended for him to continue living at home. They didn't want him distracted by dorm life.
Still summer break lurked around the corner and, to be honest, he couldn't wait. He was hoping that, maybe, with some time to himself he'd be able to sort out whatever had started going wrong in his head as far as his sexual fantasies went.
After waking up before, sticky and shivering from his release, he'd begun to realize that his new…fascination of his wasn't just going to be ignored. The images his brain had conjured of being tied down while bodiless hands touched him, nails scratching long sting paths down his back, and harsh bites along his neck, of being stood upright while a whip rained lashes onto his body…
Honda shifted in his chair, uniform pants suddenly very…constricting.
He knew he couldn't just forget it. It'd been entirely too real and felt too good, at least in his head, to just be dismissed as a passing fancy.
He let his gaze drift over to Jou, who'd long since passed out and was snoring quietly, and sighed. It felt strange to be keeping things from his best friend but he didn't think Jou would look kindly on him going back on his 'vow' in order to explore more. He didn't think he'd ever kept any major secrets from the blond; Jou was always the first to know.
When he'd finally realized he was chasing Shizuka less to have her and more to keep Otogi from having her he'd told Jou first. When his first 'boyfriend, and he used that term loosely, had essentially used him and cast him aside it was Jou's place he'd ended up at. Not to mention it'd been Jou who'd kicked the guy's ass, but that was hardly the point.
They were just that close. They'd even tried being more than best friends for a while…well, a month, give or take a few days. It hadn't worked exactly. Not that it hadn't been one of the best months of Honda's, admittedly short, life but had been a little awkward being with someone who he knew that well. Plus they had a lot of the same opinions about everything and it had kind of been like being with himself. Dating someone that similar had been a little creepy.
He was jarred from his thoughts by Otogi, who sat in the seat in front of him, waving a stack of papers in his face. He blushed, embarrassed at having been caught daydreaming, and snatched them away. The final reports. His was on the top of the stack so he took it and then past the rest to the girl behind him. He all but ripped open the envelope and withdrew the paper inside, letting his eyes skim the grades.
Slightly above average. His parents were going to throw a fit, assuming they even remembered that he was done. They had, after all, written to say they wouldn't be around for graduation next week, why should he expect them to remember something as petty as his final report?
An annoyed sigh to his left made him look over at Jou who was staring at his report with a frown. He arched an eyebrow, knowing the blond would see it. Jou shrugged slightly before looking his way.
"My mom's gonna be pissed. You know how she is about grades and shit." He reached up and brushed his hair from his face, a sure sign of his nervousness. "I doubt Dad will notice. His new bimbo is keeping him pretty busy."
Honda snorted then shook his head. Jou never seemed to approve of the women his father dated. He claimed his dad was aiming too low. He tucked his report into his bag and glanced at the clock again. Any minute the bell was going to ring and he'd have some time to look at things and-
"You doing anything tonight?" Jou asked. Honda blinked, wondering if anyone else could see his plans shattering like glass around him. "Cause I…I've been thinking about…things."
"Things?"
Jou flushed the color of an overripe tomato and nodded. "You know…things. On that site we were looking at before?"
Jou's words breathed life back into his plans and then some. He glanced around, as if someone would suddenly stand up and announce to the world what utterly kinky and sick bastards they were, but nothing happened. Of course.
He swallowed then nodded slightly. "I've been thinking too. Maybe this agreement is-"
"Stupid and not going to work?" Jou guessed looking so hopeful that Honda couldn't have disagreed even if that wasn't the case. Seeing his agreement Jou let out a sigh of something resembling relief. "Good, I thought it was just me."
"'Fraid not." Honda smiled thinly then tilted his head off to the side. "So what're we going to do about it now? Keep looking?"
Jou's smile bordered on the mischievous. "Well actually I've been talking to someone on line for a few days and well... Look, you grab your computer then come to my place okay? Dad's working a double shift so we'll be alone."
Honda arched an eyebrow. It wasn't that he didn't trust Jou or something absurd like that it was…well, he didn't trust Jou's more strange whims. To put it as politely as possible sometimes the blond was just a little bit on the whacked out side of things and tended to enjoy pulling Honda along for the ride.
Jou pouted at him, amber eyes going wide and shimmering in afternoon light. Honda imagined his eyes went wide as well. When the hell had Jou learned to do that? He must have asked Yugi, Ryou, or Anzu to teach him the 'puppy eyed' technique. Maybe all three.
Either way Honda knew he was done. He nodded and Jou beamed at him. The bell rang, shrill but beautiful none the less. The other kids in their class went stampeding for the entrance, eager to leave the hell that was high school for good, but they followed at a much more subdued pace.
The others would be waiting by the entrance for them and they'd go over their summer plans one more time before heading off for work and home.
Anzu was going to be attending a dance camp in Canada, Ryou and Malik (and their Yamis by default) had summer jobs at a day camp (it promised to be very traumatizing for all of the kids who were unlucky enough to accidentally get on their nerves) Yugi and Yami were going to be working as part time life guards as well as helping out at the game shop. Otogi was going to be working with his company, of course, while Jou and Honda planned to just be lazy.
Or that's what they told everyone. It seemed they were actually planning to explore this new 'thing' of theirs.
They talked to their friend briefly then Honda headed towards home to grab the laptop his sister had sent to him in honor of his actually graduating from school. He hadn't even expected that much form his family, so he was far from complaining about it.
He couldn't help but think, as he walked down the streets and passed by laughing and chattering teens, that this was going to be an interesting summer.
As it turned out that was the understatement of the year.
As it turned out Jou had been very serious about…everything. He had, while Honda was engaged in a moral dilemma concerning going behind his best friend's back, sought out a chat site that specialized in the sort of things they were seeking.
Honda still had a problem thinking, or saying, Domination and submission and was even hedging it in his brain. He couldn't believe he was even doing this. He was supposed to be the normal one of the group. No strange voices, duels against strange spirits, or multi-million dollar companies for him, oh no. He just had a motorcycle and neglectful parents; He was Normal.
Some may have even said boring and he was completely and totally okay with that. Someone had to be the boring one, right? He was happy to take up the mantle, because he was normal.
Or at least he had been up until this.
Jou directed him to the 'SubParty' while explaining that this chat was just for subs so they could ask questions and stuff without risking someone trying to pick them up. Honda just blinked, wondering how into this Jou had gotten while he'd been beating himself up.
Still he logged in and found himself as one out of the thirty-seven people in there. He didn't know any of the other names (thankfully. That would have been creepy) at first, but then the number went up to thirty-eight because 'Flmsrdsmen' had joined.
Jou.
Of course.
There seemed to be a few conversations going on at once but Honda had a little experience in filtering so it wasn't overly complex. Not that he had much of a chance because a few second after logging in someone named 'qtslave' invited him a private conference.
He stared, hesitant. Hadn't Jou said no one was going to try and pick up on him?
"Click yes. This is the person I've been talking to. Her name's Lisa." Jou was sitting at his computer desk, while Honda was sprawled out on his bed, but appeared to be aware of his problem without even turning around. Honda did as he was told and a new screen popped up. He seemed to come in mid-conversation.
qtslave: So, Jou, what've you been up to?
qtslave: Hi, Dominosolider. Nice to meet you, Jou told me about you.
Flmsrdsmen: Nothing much.
Dominosolider: Uh. Hi.
qtslave: Me either.
qtslave: - Jou said you'd be shy.
"I am not shy." Honda muttered, ignoring Jou's laughter. He wasn't. He was just wary.
qtslave: It's okay, I understand. I was shy at first too, and I didn't even have anyone to help me out. That's why my master and I made this site and the chats, to help out newbies.
Dominosolider: you're a sub?
qtslave: Yep! I've been with my master for almost eight years.
Dominosolider: wow.
Flmsrdsmen: That's what I said, lol.
qtslave: I know, seems like a long time. But Jou told me you two are just now starting out and aren't really sure what you may be in to, if your in to anything, and I am here to help.
qtslave: So ask me some questions, anything you want to know.
"Is she serious?" Honda asked, looking up again. Jou turned around in his chair some and nodded.
"She is. She let me ask her a whole bunch of shit and answered everything. Didn't even call me a pervert." He shrugged. "The people here are pretty cool."
Dominosolider: How did you know you were you know, a sub to begin with?
qtslave: It's hard to say. I figured I was a little outside of the norm when I was around twenty and my friend talked me into going into some sex shop. It was terrible, I was blushing and stuttering the entire time.
qtslave: Anyway there was a stage in the basement that I stumbled upon looking for the bathroom and they were doing a bondage demonstration for some customers and I wasn't sure if I was horrified of interested or what. So I ran out but I kept thinking about it and ended up coming back to see another show. Long story short the guy in charge of the shop saw I was interested and gave be a book on bondage and D/s, then invited me to a Munch.
Flmsrdsmen: A munch is a meeting of people into the scene.
Dominosolider: Oh.
qtslave: Aww, my little student has learned so much. sniff sniff you make me proud Jou.
Flmsrdsmen: Ha ha.
qtslave: Heh. Anyway the munch leader's slave approached me and invited me to talk to him about anything I wanted and, by the end of the night I knew I had to look into it some more. I liked to idea of obeying someone else, serving someone, and being loved unconditionally. I'm always happiest when I'm making someone else happy, or pleasing someone else. I came back for the next meeting and the next and the next and then I met my master. He invited me out for coffee and for a while we just had a normal 'vanilla' relationship.
qtslave: Most people 'play' with a lot of unattached masters, or couples but I wasn't really interested in any of that, but there's nothing wrong with it. Some people also start out playing or with sex, but I'm not that sort of girl. we dated for a few months before we were intimate.
qtslave: To me, at least, it's not all about sex. There has to be trust and love and limits before you can ever move on to a sexual relationship.
qtslave: Oh dear. I must sound all preachy now. Anything else?
Honda frowned, gnawing on his bottom lip, considering. Jou was being very silent and he had the feeling he'd already asked al these questions and was just giving a chance to catch up.
Dominosolider: What makes someone a sub
qtslave: Ohhh, you get right to the point don't cha?
qtslave: It's harder to define a slave, which is what I am, than a sub because everyone and every relationship is different, just like in vanilla ones. But, basically, you have to be selfless and obedient, willing to put your needs aside in order to keep your master happy. You have to be intuitive and have common sense, patient and caring, willing to making service and pleasure your highest priorities.
qtslave: But you also have to have high self-worth and not be a total push over. Being a sub doesn't mean being weak; to give up power to someone is nothing a weak person can do. You can't let someone treat you like trash just because they hold the whip, you have to be willing to defend yourself and your honor from even your master. Some people think this is a way for people with low self-esteem to feel better
qtslave: But that's not it. If you have low self-esteem you'll probably end up with a Dom who will take advantage and make you feel like shit, just because they can. You don't have to like pain or accept pain to be a sub, and a real Dom doesn't need to dish it out casually.
qtslave: A real Dom, a good Dom, will treat you like you're the only worthwhile thing in their lives. You, as a sub, are their most prized possession, never to be mistreated or taken advantage of or placed second in their lives.
qtslave: That made sense right?
Dominosolider: yea, I got it.
qtslave: Oh good. I ramble sometimes. What next?
Dominosolider: It seems…like a weird idea. You really like it? Not being in control of your life?
qtslave: Like it? No.
qtslave: I love it.
qtslave: I love my master, I love when he's pleased with what I do and when he's disappointed in me I'm upset, but prepared to do better. It's a two way street that way. He's what's important to me. I couldn't see myself with anyone else or anywhere else.
qtslave: But 24-7 isn't for everyone, which is cool. It's an intense thing, you know? I have friends who are only into it for fun, not as a lifestyle. That would make you a sub, someone who likes to play and have fun but isn't into it all of the time; Slaves want something beyond the occasional play session, Subs don't.
qtslave: And it is weird and kind of not normal but…for some of us it works. What now?
Dominosolider: I…don't know.
qtslave: lol. That's okay. Why don't you have Jou show you the 'what are you quiz' and then find me if you have any other questions. It's a fun quiz, not super serious, to help figure out if your Dom, if so what kind, Sub, if so what kind, or just vanilla with a small bondage kink.
qtslave: I made it myself.
"Did you take it?"
Jou was out of his chair and walking over to him now. "Yeah."
"What'd it come up?"
The blond shrugged, looking uncomfortable. "Sub…Pet. Like a Slave but…not. Look, I know it was just a game and all, but it seemed weird you know? I never thought of myself that way but the more I think about it the more I think maybe I'd…like it. Talking to Lisa and everything and getting past all that kinky stuff, maybe…eh."
Honda looked at his friend as if staring long enough would show some kind of change in him from the week before. But no, it was still Jou. Loud-mouthed, sometimes empty headed, slacker, guy he'd known since he was a kid…Jou.
Jou looked at him as well before a pink flush colored his face. "Look, Honda-"
"You think you could really be into it? For real? A real…"
"Slave? Not just on weekends?" Jou shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe. I was thinking, actually, there's this meeting tomorrow night and Lisa's mater is charge and she invited me but I didn't want to go alone or anything sooo…"
Honda considered it for a moment. Just looking on the 'net was harmless, but going to an actual meeting was something else. That was kind of like admitting he was…serious and he wasn't sure if he was. Maybe Jou could be into it but he wasn't sure about him.
He'd been taken care of himself as long as he could remember and he didn't know if he could just…suddenly trust someone else to do it.
Still. He'd never know if he didn't at least check it out.
"I'll go with you."
The bright smile Jou flashed him was, really, enough to make any potential mental scarring worth it. It was one of Honda's things, he liked making people happy at all costs. Like when he'd raced to get Shizuka to Battle City; he'd know that both she and Jou would be ecstatic...and so he'd done it.
He frowned for a moment. If nothing else he had to admit he'd never had a problem putting people ahead of himself and that he was never happier when he pleased someone else. It was actually more of a problem then anything else, it was how he'd ended up giving in and sleeping with his first boyfriend, thinking it'd make the other man happy.
Happy enough to decide to break it off the next day…
Honda didn't want to be used again and, in spite of that that most prized possession stuff, this seemed like the perfect setting for that.
But, at the same time, he doubted Jou would get him into thing where he'd be hurt. Jou looked out for him and he looked out for Jou. That was just the wait it worked.
He'd be fine. Hopefully.
Next chapter: Jou's POV of the meeting and Seto's POV of his and Otogi's relationship pre-Honda and Jou. I think anyway…I never really know until I write it. Review please, they make me warm and fuzzy inside.
Thanks to the reviewers. I love you guys!