Chapter 3

"This is hopeless!"

"And sick!"

Hermione and Ginny were discussing the situation of Operation Mushroom Tango (for want of a better name, Ron had been feeling hungry when he thought of it). So far they had tried everything they could think of to attract Malfoy's attention. Including falling in front of him, where he just stepped over them and continued talking to Crabbe and Goyle. Next they had tried pretending to find his (really non-existent) homework but he just nicked it and ran off.

Harry was reading a complicated piece of literature called 'The man who thought his wife was a hat' (A.N really there is a book by that name!). Ron was doing his homework i.e feverishly scrabbling bits of paper around and putting what looked like several neat ink blots on each page. It was Sunday afternoon and the gang was relaxing in the Common room.

Then suddenly Harry caught their attention. He looked very much like a person who would say, "What about a weak love potion, just to attract his attention. Y'know?"

"Of course! That's a great idea Harry!" cried Hermione.

And so Hermione and Ginny scooted off, namely to gather the ingredients of the 'luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurve potion'.

Soon they were all gathered around a cheerfully bubbling potion (except Harry who was still engrossed in a particularly interesting chapter of his book) and grinning maniacally like mentally unstable's on loony pills. It was a pale shade of mauve and little blue bubbles kept floating out of it, only to pop and leave behind a faint smell of roses.

Hermione seemed to realise she was 'grinning maniacally like a mentally unstable on loony pills' and pulled herself together "Right, ahem, the timing on this *must* be exact. Ginny, you're in charge of that okay? In…." she checked the book "…30 minutes exactly, call me. Got that?" Ginny nodded in affirmation.

"…Guys…. What are you doing…?" Came a voice from behind them. They spun round "Neville?!" The whole group simultaneously was trying to look totally innocent. But failed and ended up looking like someone had a scribbled 'guilty' in very large letters in pink highlighter all over their faces then hung a cardboard square round their necks announcing 'these people are guilty', just to make sure. "What are you doing?" repeated Neville in a confused manner.

Hermione had a brainwave "…Nothing…."

"Yes….Nothing…" the rest of the group echoed hastily.

Ginny picked up a spoon "Just making….soup…" Ron nodded vigorously and took the spoon from Ginny and took a sip of the potion "Mmmm soup!"

The fact that the supposed 'soup' was purple and had blue bubbles floating out of it completely passed Neville by. "Ok! See ya!" And he proceeded downstairs happily.

Hermione watched him go. "Talk about gullible…." Ginny snickered, Ron…Ron was curiously silent. "Ron…?" Hermione turned round and looked at him, then at the spoon in his hand. "Oh….Dear…." Ron was staring at Hermione as if she were Venus who had suddenly appeared and told him he'd won a million billion trillion gizillion….a lot of money. In other words, as if he were in love with dear Hermy. Ron would definitely think twice about tasting so called 'soup' again.

Hermione savored the moment for a while, then when she realise Ginny was looking at her oddly, she stopped having daydreams about her running into Ron's arms in a beach setting with romantic music being played by deep centaurs. Harry was trying his best not laugh. Hermione suddenly went a fiery shade of red and rectified Ron's mistake quickly with a flick of her wand. "Ahem…" she spoke quickly, with a dazed looking Ron glancing around confusedly "Well it's a tad too strong right now, we've got…" she checked her watch "twenty minutes left…" Ginny nodded "I'll just go and see if 'Pincer' is there yet…"

~Twenty five minutes later~

"Oh noooo!" Ginny dashed to the cauldron and awoke a dozing Hermione. She tried not to look flustered. "I think it's ready…" Hermione yawned "It's just in time for tea!" Ron added gleefully coming down from the boy's dormitory stretching. Harry was on the penultimate chapter of the book.

"Let's go down." Harry put his book down regretfully and Hermione took a vial of the potion. They were going to put it in Malfoy's pumpkin juice and they would make sure either Ginny or Hermione were the first to talk to him. Simple….in theory. But then again aren't the simple plans sometimes the best? Well, most of the time…

And so the gang went downstairs and by a cunning arrangement with Dobby (who coincidentally, also had a score to settle with a certain Rat-boy) who would put the potion in Draco's pumpkin juice. Dobby was waiting for them by the statue of Gregory the Smarmy. His bulbous eyes glowed as he took the vial. Revenge is soooo sweet. (A.N hehehehehehehehhehehheheheh…..)

Sitting at dinner they watched the peroxide wonder closely. So closely, in fact, that he began to get a little freaked by their stares and evil chuckling. He took a long draught of his pumpkin juice to wet his dry throat. He'd go over a deal with them he thought vehemently. Then suddenly, he felt peaceful and joyful. Outwardly, his eyes glazed over and he began swaying to a tune. Crabbe and Goyle looked severally alarmed, and began making (quite sweet)-concerned grunts. Then quite suddenly Draco Malfoy jumped up and began singing…

Underground, overground,

Wombling free!

The wombles of Wimbledon,

Common are we.

Making good use of the things that we find,

Things that everyday folk leave behind…etc.

By now Malfoy had caught the attention of everyone in the hall. Including the plotters, as Hermione turned her wrathful gaze on Ginny. "About that exact timing…."

Ginny flushed scarlet "Well, it was only five minutes…" Hermione threw her hands up in despair and then turned to watch the highly entertaining spectacle of Malfoy being a Womble.

The whole hall was in hysterics, even the teacher table. Even though they were trying their very best, they couldn't stop laughing. Excluding Snape who couldn't actually see or hear because his greasy hair had gotten so out of control.

Hermione bit her lip to stop the giggles escaping. "Onto Plan B…" she murmured.

~*~

Well that was Chapter 3 done by moi under the pain of death from my dear co-writer.

The next installment will come when we have a million reviews or my co-writer can be bothered.

Algiers: Hum…I can't believe you actually finished the chapter…

Sheep the Adventurer: -looks proud-

Algiers: Who are you and what have you done with Sheep the Adventurer!?

Sheep the Adventurer:….-injured silence-

…………..Oh and REVIEW GODDAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (No offence meant)