This Fic is Over
This fic is a disaster. Kelly is in the infirmary. The Living Monolith is locked in his dressing room screaming at his agent. Sabertooth and Selene are whooping it up in a bar somewhere. Stella and Luna went shopping which sounds like a great idea right now. I don't know where Sheriff Lobo went. Last I saw him he was muttering something to himself about taking up dentistry and moving to Maine. And Deputy Yokel decided to take everyone else out to lunch including a few extra people!
In other words my brain has been hijacked by my overactive imagination! I need a cappuchino…
"Man who knew Monolith had such a good right hook?" Alex shrugged. Several characters were at the local restaurant eating outdoors.
"Yeah thanks to him we were able to have some grub," Todd remarked as he munched on his burger.
"I thought Deputy Yokel was picking up the check?" Scott asked him.
"He did after he picked up Kelly's wallet where he dropped it," Todd told him.
"Why is he in this fic?" Alex looked at his brother.
"I don't even know why I'm in this fic," Scott groaned. "I gotta confess Alex I'm not exactly crazy about you being a superhero on your own. Even if it is in a town like this."
"Well you're not supposed to know about this yet," Todd said as he picked up a purple folder. "Remember? You find out about Alex being a superhero for his town in Holidays are Hazardous to Your Health. This takes place before last year's big holiday fic."
"Like anybody pays attention to continuity around here," Scott groaned. "Where did you get that?"
"Oh this is one of the folders Red uses to keep a list of her stories and what she's working on and stuff," Todd nodded. "I borrowed it when she went out for a cappuchino run."
"Another one?" Alex asked. "Man that chick drinks a lot of those."
"You have no idea," Scott sighed. "This is reason number five why our lives suck."
"I'd hate to hear about reasons one through four," Alex said.
"Hey did you know she was planning on doing a small series with you Alex?" Todd asked.
Alex replied, "Yeah but it's nothing much. A few stories about how I beat up the bad guy of the day and stuff. That's why she scrapped it."
"You mean like a Sailor Moon rip off?" Scott asked.
"Pretty much," Alex sighed. "All I wanted was to show what I could do. I didn't want to be just known as Scott Summer's Brother, ya know?"
"Trust me Alex," Scott sighed. "I don't think that's ever going to happen."
"Yeah there's no way anybody will confuse you with this uptight control freak," Todd pointed with his thumb.
"Why are you here again?" Scott glared at him.
"For the free food, duh!" Todd munched on his fries. He looked at Scott's fries. "Are you gonna eat that?"
"Help yourself," Scott pushed them towards him. "What is Deputy Yokel doing?"
"A very bad kareoke impersonation of Cher," Alex winced. "He does look good in the wig though."
"No wonder that sheriff of yours is so uptight," Todd gulped down on the fries.
"I HATE MY AGENT!" The Living Monolith stormed in.
"Couldn't get out of your contract could you?" Alex asked.
"SHUT UP!" Monolith shouted.
Okay everyone! Let's finish this fic! Boy this cappuchino smoothie is good!
"Don't you think you've had enough?" Todd asked.
Don't you think you should go back to your own fics?
"We're still going to do this stupid idea of me turning on that dumb giant animal making machine aren't we?" Monolith groaned.
"What are you complaining about?" Alex shouted. "You don't have to fight 'em!"
"Look the sooner we get this over with the sooner this fic is done and we can all go back to whatever we wanna do until she decides on her next dumb idea," Sheriff Lobo walked in.
"Fine!" Monolith threw up his hands. "But it's still a stupid idea!"
"Or we could just say my father got his hands on it somehow and accidentally turned it on," Jim walked over to them.
"What kind of stupid…?" The Living Monolith looked behind him. "AAAAAHHHH!"
"WOOF! WOOF!" Mayor Sprinkles barked. Considering he was twenty times his normal size this was rather frightening.
"What is that?" Scott readied his visor.
"That's our Mayor," Alex stopped him.
"You're kidding," Todd looked at him.
"He isn't," Scott groaned.
"Whoever heard of a St. Bernard in Hawaii?" The Living Monolith screamed.
"Okay I think we're gonna go back to our own fics now," Todd hopped away.
"Yeah, have a good fight Alex," Scott and the other characters that weren't supposed to be in the fic moved off. "I'll visit you in the hospital."
"THANKS A LOT!" Alex shouted.
Uh, I think we all know how this fic is going to end so I might as well cut out now…Besides Sprinkles will probably just shrink back to normal size after a few hours.
"PROBABLY?" Sheriff Lobo shouted.
"YOU'RE JUST GOING TO LEAVE US LIKE THIS?" Alex shouted. "YUCK! DOG DROOL! I GOT DOG DROOL OVER ME!"
"Great! I'm stuck in a fic even the author doesn't want to finish!" The Monolith shouted. "It can't get any worse!"
"Watch out!" Deputy Yokel screamed. "He's lifting his leg!"
"I had to say that…" Monolith groaned. "AAGGGGGGHHHHHH!"
"I am not cleaning that mess up!" Alex shouted. "Jim!"
"Why me?" Jim shouted from behind a tree.
"He's your dog!" Alex shouted.
"He's also the mayor and as an appointed deputy it's your responsibility!" Jim shouted. "Right Sheriff?"
"Hell no!" Sheriff Lobo snapped.
"You agree with me?" Alex asked.
"Yeah, because if I did that would mean I would probably have to help!" Sheriff Lobo shouted. "Animal Control is not in our job description!"
"I'm pretty sure it is," Jim said.
"Maybe we should check the town charter?" Deputy Yokel asked.
"STOP IT! PUT ME DOWN!" Monolith screamed. "I AM NOT A CHEW TOY!"
"I guess I should rescue him huh?" Alex looked at the others.
"Well let's not be too hasty here," Sheriff Lobo said. "After all it is his own fault."
"NO IT'S NOT! IT'S THE RED WITCH'S FAULT! WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE I WILL SUE! SUE I TELL YA!" Monolith screamed.
"She did say it would wear off right?" Alex asked.
"Yeah most likely," Jim nodded. "And the mayor does seem to be occupying himself so he's not gonna run around much."
"OH MOMMA THAT HURTS!" Monolith howled.
"The mayor does like to chew doesn't he?" Jim asked.
"Okay I have a suggestion for a re-write," Deputy Yokel said. "The Mayor shrinks back on his own in an hour and the rest of us go out for cappuchino smoothies downtown."
"Sounds good to me," Alex nodded. "I just need to take a shower first."
"Yeah that's a good plan," Jim nodded.
"First one you've ever had Deputy," Sheriff Lobo patted him on his back. "This calls for a celebration. I'm buying."
"HEY! COME BACK HERE!" Monolith screamed. "YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME HERE LIKE THIS! OW! YOU'RE THE FREAKING HERO FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! OW! QUIT IT YOU DUMB DOG! I WILL GET YOU FOR THIS HAVOK! I'LL GET YOU IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO! RIGHT AFTER I KILL THE AUTHOR! YOU HEAR ME? OWWWWWW!"