Easier to Run

by Daegana

I won't let you change me. I still have a past, and a future."""I will still change you, but not in the way you are speaking of Integral.""What are you doing, Aluc-"

Easier To Run - A Hellsing AxI Songfic by Daegana

"Easier To Run" by Linkin Park

Warning: There's some OOC-ness here with Integral, but nothing HORRIBLY sappy.

Insert pointless disclaimer here: ...

It's easier to run
replacing this pain with something numb
it's so much easier to go
than face all this pain here all alone

Sir Integral Hellsing sat at her desk, looking through large stacks of papers, reading them and signing some. Looking up from the mess, she saw that the sun was setting and she knew she would soon be having a guest. Allowing herself a moment to stop, Intergral thought about the things she wish she could say to her guest.

Something has been taken
from deep inside of me
a secret I've kept locked away
no one can ever see

"Are you all right, my master?" a deep voice asked, startling Integral out of her thoughts. Her eyes flew up to gaze upon the object occupying her mind. "You're all dressed up with nowhere to go tonight Alucard," she said. Alucard wore black pants and a red shirt, partially unbuttoned to reveal a pale, yet muscular chest. "As an answer to your question, yes, I'm fine. I was just thinking," Integral added. What she didn't voice out loud was that he looked amazingly handsome, with his jet black hair falling over his shoulders.

wounds so deep they never show
they never go away
like moving pictures in my head
for years and years they've played

Alucard smiled inwardly as he heard Integral's thoughts through the telepathic link they shared. For the last six years, as Integral hit eighteen and become a young woman, Alucard had longed to bring her under his wing, to love her as he had loved his wife six hundred years earlier. "Why Integral, I'm flattered you noticed my change in wardrobe," he purred, gauging her reaction.

If I could change I would
take back the pain I would
retrace every wrong move that I made I would
if I could

Integral felt blood rush to her cheeks and she tried in vain to quell the thoughts going through her head. An image of her father appeared in her mind's eye, saying, "Remember, Integral, the vampire is a cruel, unfeeling, tricky creature. To get close to one is a quick path to death." Integral gasped, closing her eyes to the sight and sound of her father. "Integral, what's wrong?" Alucard asked, moving quickly to her side. Integral looked up, tears streaming down her face.

stand up and take the blame I would
if I could take all the shame to the grave I would

"I'm so sorry Alucard. You shouldn't have to deal with these things of mine," Integral said between sobs. Alucard just shook his head and said, "It's obviously something you need to do. Say whatever you need to say; it won't leave this room, I swear." Integral nodded, but suddenly found she couldn't speak. How can I tell him everything I need to say? How in the world am I supposed to tell him how I feel? Integral asked herself.

Sometimes I remember
the darkness of my past
bringing back these memories
I wish I didn't have

Alucard, working on instinct, picked Integral up out of her seat and said, "Hold on tight." Integral opened her mouth to protest, but could do nothing as a portal opened in the wall and Alucard walked into it. They reappeared in Integral's bedroom, and Alucard sat down on the bed with Integral still in his arms. "Now you can say what you need to say," he said. "Let me go Alucard. I don't need to be babied," Integral said half-heartedly. In her mind, she was remembering the first time they had met, the way he had pinned her to the wall as she shot him in the chest. The way he had calmly told her that she aroused him.

sometimes I think of letting go
and never looking back
and never moving forward so
there would never be a past

Alucard couldn't help a small smile as these thoughts ran into his head and danced around. "I...I have always admired you. You always seemed so strong and selfless, and every since that day in the dungeon I have tried to be like you. I always thought that since you were so old, you had no human emotions left. But I realize now, you hide them away, behind a wall. I have always tried to emulate that, becoming the woman you know," Integral said, her breaths still catching. "You are still that headstrong, willful girl Integral. She is just sleeping, but I could wake her up," Alucard breathed, his ears listening to Integral's heart flutter around. "I won't let you change me. I still have a past, and a future," Integral said, becoming cold for a moment. Though I have often thought about it, she thought.

Just washing it aside
all of the helplessness inside

"I will still change you, but not in the way you are speaking of Integral," Alucard said, leaning closer to her. "What are you doing Aluc-" Integral was cut off as Alucard closed the distance between them and gave her a kiss. It was not a forced kiss, but one of pure emotion, long pent up within a wating heart. Integral tried to back out of the kiss at first, but then she realized she didn't mind the kiss. When Integral finally pulled away for air, her breathing was back to normal and she was no longer crying. "Alucard, we can't do this," she began. "We can Integral. No one will know. You will be the same person on the outside as you always are and I'll be the same cocky bastard I always am," Alucard said, earning a smile from Integral.

pretending I don't feel so misplaced
is so much simpler than change

"Sir Integral, are you in here?" a voice came from the other side of the door. "Releasing control art restriction to level two," Alucard said, transforming into a hellhound. "Yes, I'm here. Please, come in Walter," Integral said. The door opened and Walter walked. "Forgive me Sir Integral. I thought you were still in your office, but it appears I was mistaken," he said. "It's alright. Is something amiss?" Integral asked. "No, everything is fine Sir Integral. I just wished to say good evening before I turned in for the night," Walter replied. "Very well Walter. Good evening, until tomorrow," Integral said. Walter bowed and walked out, closing the door behind him. Alucard, who had been laying at Integral's feet, stood up and became human again. "Well, that was a close call, hmm?" Integral said pointedly. "Not at all. Walter would not have assumed anything, only that I was in your bedroom annoying you as I always do," Alucard replied.

It's easier to run
replacing this pain with something numb

"I still don't think this is a very good idea, not yet anyway. Perhaps we should wait Alucard," Integral said, the words sounding harsh, even to her. Alucard's face was impassive, but his eyes told a different story. "Perhaps so. If that is what you choose, I will abide by your order, for the moment," he said, disappearing. "Alucard..." Integral whispered, "why did I do that? Why did I just push away the one person who could actually understand me? The only one I could love?"

it's so much easier to go
than face all this pain here all alone

Five years later...

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. In the name of Queen and country, you may kiss the bride," Walter said, looking at the couple he had just unofficially married. Alucard looked stunning in a midnight blue tuxedo, a deep red rose sticking out of his buttonhole. And Integral, after hours of persuading by Seras and Walter, had actually found a wedding dress she was willing to wear. Made of gold-coloured satin, the dress fell right below Integral's knees and she wore silver flats with ballet ribbons tied to her knees. The dress style was something akin to a Greek toga and everyone agreed that Integral looked like a Greek goddess. Seras had persuaded Integral to do her hair and makeup and the result was stunning. Seras had straightened out the top layers of Integral's hair, so they didn't stick up and used a Greek-style clip to pull part of it back into a bun. The rest of her hair hung loose, lightly decorated with glitter. Integral's eyes were midnight blue fading into silver and pale pink was on her lips. Alucard stared at his blushing bride until Seras finally said, "Master, just kiss her already!" Alucard nodded and proceeded to kiss Integral full on the lips. Seras and Walter cheered and watched as Alucard picked up Integral and they disappeared through a portal.

Fin

R&R, please! My first attempt at a Hellsing songfic. D