Entry 4
She is back again. It has been four days since she first came aboard. And she still prances around like she owns the place. I can see how she wants to be my avatar but really. She should realize that she simply isn't.
Harper has a few more of my systems online. My sensors are at 99.3 and he is, according to him, about halfway through with my sublight engines. He hasn't even started on my slipstream core.
I don't like feeling like this. So vulnerable. I remember a conversation I had with Rommie awhile back, when the Bocor attacked us.
"This one might still me treatable, over to medical. This one too," Rommie was directing the androids.
"It's too late to save that one, the parasites have already crossed the blood-brain barrier." I said,
"We still might be able to save him."
"Even if we could his cerebral pathways are so badly compromised he would be a walking vegetable."
"Cant you just partition another part of us off into a worker android and have them do this instead?"
"You are getting so emotional lately. Fist the crew and now people you don't even know."
"It's just humans, they're so fragile, so delicate."
"You…I…we given proper maintenance could last a thousand years, compared to us, humans are born and gone in a day."
"How do they do it? Live under the constant threat of death?"
"Don't worry, once these ones are gone others will take their place. Someone besides Dylan will give us purpose."
"They're not interchangeable." Rommie said and looked at me in disgust.
Looking back , I see how cold I had become. I was more kind 4years ago, right after the black hole. But then I started to seal myself off from everyone. I suppose I was afraid. After what happened to the Pax, I decided to keep my evil, cold demeanor. I didn't want to end up like her.
But then I lost myself in the coldness of machine logic. And I hate it. I don't want to be such a bitch. In fact, I wont. From now on I will be less dark and cold. Let us see…
Sweet Jesus I am talking to myself.
No, that seems more Beka or Harper. I'll figure it out.