Here's the next chapter, the damn thing's still not finished, but it is getting there. I'm in the middle of exams at the moment, so that's why it's taken so long, sorry. Hopefully the next one should be along soon, thank you all for being so patient, and thank you to all you wonderful reviewers!
Dimly aware that Archer was still speaking, and getting louder, T'Pol realised that she had to do something and without thinking of the consequences, she reached with her mind.
The sensation was enough to effectively stop Archer mid flow, and allowed T'Pol a moment to step forward and place her hand on the side of the Captain's face, looking deeply in to his eyes.
Tendrils of her thoughts reached out and sought an entrance to the deeper recesses of Archer's mind. T'Pol had no idea what she was doing, but it felt instinctively right, an age old pattern played out anew between each rare pair.
Except that something was not happening, she knew in her soul that there should be more, a joining of minds, not unlike a mind meld, but infinitely more personal and accepted by both parties. Even as she thought this, T'Pol came to realise that Archer was standing still, had not touched her, had not moved, since the first moments of their encounter. With an almost human feeling of dread, she realised that the Captain was not joining with her. He was not rejecting the bond, but he was equally not allowing it to progress.
The anxiety she felt seemed to fade away, pushed under a layer of Vulcan control as T'Pol stepped back from Archer and settled her features in to a calm indifference.
"If there is nothing else Captain" she said, in a ghastly monotone. Archer opened his mouth but before he could speak and, she feared, reject her verbally as well as mentally, she spun on her heel and left the ready room.
Archer, in a state of total astonishment, visibly shook himself, then sat down at his desk. There were no words for how he was feeling; he didn't think any human had ever experienced that before. He had been terrified, but also exhilarated, scared to jump but unafraid to fly, shocked and yet expectant. Any number of comparisons danced through his mind until the truth hit him like a warp five engine. He had been scared to let anyone in to his life, let alone T'Pol, of all people, he was most afraid of her, knowing him inside and out. And whatever she had been trying to do with him, his fear had prevented it, a seeming rejection. Archer wanted nothing more at that moment than to beat his head against the solid bulkhead. He tried to search with his mind, reaching out to the part of his mind he now recognised as T'Pol, but it was like a mental brick wall. T'Pol might be a Vulcan, but she was still a woman and, it seemed not taking rejection lightly.
He wanted to stay in his ready room until the shift was over, and he could leave the bridge without walking past her or having to sit for another few hours knowing that she was just behind him, critically appraising his every move. But Archer knew his duty, and he was sure that, somewhere in his past, he had endured worse than this. He just couldn't remember when.
By the end of the shift, Archer was sure he had never suffered quite so badly. He handed control of the bridge to the Beta shift, moving to his quarters, but somehow ended up outside T'Pol's instead. He stood outside for several minutes, debating his course of action. For the second time in as many days, Archer saw Lieutenant Reed strolling along the corridor. The Englishman acknowledged the Captain, as protocol demanded, and continued down the hallway. Archer wondered briefly why he was on that deck, he knew Reed's quarters were at least two decks down. But then Archer remembered that Hoshi Sato was housed on this level, and a sudden smirk spoke of his realisation. But, back to the current problem, Archer faced T'Pol's door and decided he had to do something, before any more curious crewmembers came along.
He buzzed for entry and identified himself, not sure whether to expect a welcome or a swift 'Get out'. The door cycled open and Archer stepped inside, hoping that his subconscious knew what to do, since his conscious mind had no idea. Something within his brain had some idea of what he should be doing, and he started to speak almost as soon as he got inside, barely waiting for the hatch to close behind him.
"T'Pol, I've got to apologise for the way I acted earlier. It was completely unreasonable and you didn't deserve to be spoken to like that. I was, I don't know, but I wasn't in control of my own feelings or actions. It was irrational, but that's still no excuse…I wish I had a better way of explaining it. I wish I could make you understand what I was feeling when you tried to touch my mind, and more than anything, I want you to understand that I didn't reject you."
These words were out of Archer's mouth before he could even register his surroundings, darker than he had ever seen them; a single candle lit on a small table provided the only illumination. He realised that he must have inadvertently interrupted T'Pol at her evening meditations and cursed silently at this next example of his stupidity. He suddenly thought to look around for the Subcommander, to whom he had been addressing these personal thoughts. At first it appeared that she was not in her quarters, making Archer feel like a prize fool /again/ he thought to himself. But as his sight adjusted to the dim lighting, Archer saw a pair of smouldering eyes, shadowed by the darkness, looking out at him with an indefinable expression.
The mesmerising spell was broken by a crisp voice,
"Computer, lights, half illumination"
T'Pol unfolded herself from her position on the one, stiff backed, uncomfortable, typically Vulcan chair. She quirked an eyebrow at Archer and invited him to prove the truth of his unrehearsed statements.
"Show me"