When Mark woke she was gone. It felt like a dream. In fact, cancer aside, he was pretty sure he'd had that dream. He kept his eyes closed, hoping the dream would return, but he knew that never happened.

Then he heard the shower. Oh no. Surely he hadn't. No he couldn't have. It had been a long time since he'd brought someone home and regretted it in the morning. And now that Susan was back? Or maybe that was part of the dream. But why had he started dreaming about her again. He'd kicked that habit years ago. If it had been a long time since he'd brought someone home, then it had been a helluva lot longer since he'd imagined that person was her.

The shower was turned off and the hair dryer turned on.

Hold the phone. He did not have a hairdryer. Oh no. This was getting worse. He must be at her house. Whoever she was. What an idiot? He had no idea where he was or who he was with. Or what time his shift started.

He opened his eyes and sat up in an instant. This was… Susan's apartment. He almost laughed at himself. Then a flood of relief washed over him. It hadn't been a dream. Then horror. This could be very short lived.

Strangely relieved to find himself fully clothed he pushed the blanket off and dropped his legs off the side of the sofa, stretching long arms above his head and yawning blissfully. He sank back into the couch lazily.

"Good morning." Susan walked into the room in jeans and a Yosemite Sam t shirt.

"Hey." He turned, then stood up a little bashfully.

She smiled at him and stepped closer. "You sleep okay?"

"Great." He nodded, "Except when Iwas waking up just now and thought I'd dreamt you up."

Susan laughed lightlyand kissed him. "Feel real?"

He nodded and ran his hands from her shoulders down her arms and held her hands. "Don't imagine it tasted good though. Sorry, didn't bring a toothbrush. Didn't think I'd need one."

"Wasn't so bad but go ahead and use mine if you like." She smiled cheekily.

He headed for the bathroom and she, for the kitchen, calling back, "Coffee?"

"Absolutely. What time's your appointment?"

"Eleven. Are you working?" she called back through the apartment.

"No." He yelled through a mouthful of toothpaste, half of which ended up in the sink, thankfully.

"So how are you feeling?" Mark took the offered steaming mug and leant on the kitchen bench opposite her.

"Good. Considering." She took a sip and winced.

"Hot?"

"Yeah."

"The steam gives it away." He teased.

"Shut up." She put her mug down with a grin on her lips and a glint in her eye. Lifting herself up she sat on the bench top, leaning back on her hands and looking at him, head cocked to one side.

"What?" he sipped his coffee, uncomfortable under her stare, and burnt his own mouth.

She had to laugh. "I was just thinking, it'd probably be a good idea to take this slowly."

"Probably." He put his mug down, not sure what to expect.

"But highly unlikely."

He broke a smile to mirror hers. "I guess it depends when this started. Five years is taking it slow."

Her smile faded and she took a deep breath.

Mark crossed the room and stood in between her knees.

"We've wasted so much time." She said sadly.

"Or maybe," he took her hands, "Maybe we've got forever and these past five years … well, maybe without that we couldn't appreciate this."

Susan swallowed and slowly nodded.

He pulled her into his arms and she willingly nestled her head into his chest.

He didn't know what to say. He couldn't promise her anything.

"Thank you." She kissed the bottom of his neck, just above his sweater.

She sat up and didn't look at him until he touched her chin with his fingertips, so softly.

He looked really scared and it surprised her. "Do you want anything?"

She shook her head. "We should probably get going."

Mark nodded and stepped back from her.

She slid off the bench and stopped. "You can't imagine the difference it makes, having you here." She forced him to look at her. "I know you probably feel like you can't do anything to help but," she shook her head, "Your being here is more than you can imagine."

He ran the palm of his hand down the side of her face, his fingers running through her hair. And he told her he loved her. Again. It was the only promise he could make.

She stood on her toes and kissed him with a slightly different kind of promise. They could disappear into it for a few minutes.

Mark pulled back knowing that doing so was only getting more difficult. "Don't we ah, have to go?"

They were both grinning and glowing again, despite the depth of their conversation just moments ago.

"Ah, yeah." She cleared her throat. "I'll just get my coat." She turned to the door but he couldn't resist pulling her back for a little more.

Eventually, he let her go.

"Now can I get my coat?"

Mark grinned and followed her through the lounge, tidying the sofa, putting away the untouched wine bottle and glasses, anything to distract him. Anything. He folded the blanket and dropped it over the back of the sofa as Susan appeared.

She was serious again. No surprise really. She took his hand in the hallway and didn't let go of it the whole taxi ride.