Chapter 2

Michael's POV

When I arrived home from my visit to Sydney's house, I was surprised to find Eric waiting for me on the front steps of my building. I approached him reluctantly, thinking he must have come with some other bad news. Still, I tried to sound cheerful as I said hello.

"Hey, Eric. I didn't think I'd see you tonight. Sorry I had to drop our plans last minute, but..."

"You don't have to apologize. Can I come in for a minute?"

I got my key from my pocket, unlocked the door, and stood aside so Eric could enter. We went quietly up to my own door, and in another minute we were inside. Eric sank uneasily onto the couch, then asked me a question without any further small talk.

"Is Sydney feeling all right? When you said you had to go over and see her all of a sudden, I thought..."

I sighed, dropping down on the couch beside my friend. "I know, I thought the same thing. When Sydney was at the cemetery today, she thought she heard her father's voice. It scared her, but when she told me about it I could see it wasn't like the times she was sick before. Today is his birthday, she misses him, that's all. By the time I left, Sydney was asleep. If she needs anything, someone will call."

"Mike, I know what you're thinking. You don't have to pretend you aren't worried, not around me. I remember everything we all went through just as well as you do. What are you planning to do if she does relapse?"

I ran a hand through my hair, suddenly feeling exhausted. "Whatever she needs. It's what I did last time, I can do it again if I have to. But Eric, I don't expect you to..."

"Oh, no, don't you dare say I can't help you. If Sydney needs our help with this again, I wouldn't be anywhere else. I was able to help before, and anything that will make things easier, I will do. But for now at least, you said Sydney is doing okay, and you look like you're going to fall asleep sitting right here. Go to bed, I can just crash here on the couch. Tomorrow's Saturday. No work and nowhere else to be!"

I was suddenly annoyed as I stood up from the couch. "Everything is fine, Eric." I snapped. "I don't need a babysitter."

Eric didn't seem at all bothered by my comment. He simply leaned over and began removing his shoes as he answered me. "Yeah, I know that. I'm not here to do that. If I came here waiting for you to admit you needed someone to talk to, I'd be here for the rest of my life. I worry about Sydney, too, you know. All those things she went through, all that pain.... When you called me all I could think about was the first time I ever saw her drift away from us like she did all those times. That horrible blank look she'd get on her face.... After that, I just came here and waited."

"Thanks, Eric," I said wearily. "I appreciate it. If you're hungry, help yourself, but I'm going to crash. If the phone rings and I don't wake up..."

"I'll come get you. Just get some sleep, everything is under control."

Once I was alone in my room, I couldn't sleep even though I was exhausted. I knew Sydney was all right, for now. But as Eric had said, she'd already been through so much, and I dreaded the thought of her relapsing. I couldn't help wondering if what had happened today was just the beginning. It was past midnight by now, and I still wished I could talk to Sydney once more. I knew that both she and Francie were sleeping by now... My worries would have to wait until morning to be put to rest.

Finally, close to one o'clock, I began to drift off. Even Eric was asleep. He'd had a snack and fallen asleep even before I'd been able to relax. As I drifted off, I heard him snoring softly from the living room. I felt very lucky to have a friend that cared as much about Sydney as about me.

I was awakened at nine am by the ring of my telephone. I was out of bed and into the kitchen as fast as my legs would take me. Eric was half awake on the couch, and I saw him sit up long enough to send a look in my direction that made it clear he thought I was crazy running for the phone like that.

"Hello?" I said anxiously.

"Michael, it's me," Sydney said gently. "Did you sleep at all last night?"

"A little. How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine. That's why I called. You worry too much, Michael. But I love you for it. I was hoping, if you didn't have any plans for tonight, maybe we could go out to dinner?"

I broke into a wide grin. "Sure, that would be great. Our usual place, or did you want to try a new one?"

"Our usual one would be nice. Do you want me to come by there, or will you pick me up?"

"My turn," I said with a smile. "About seven, okay? Eric's still here, but I promise he won't be tagging along."

That made Sydney laugh, and I was glad. Eric, for his part, threw me a mock offended look. Then he got up from the couch and came to the kitchen, calling hello to Sydney as he passed me near the doorway.

"Eric says hi, Sydney. I'll see you later. Tell Francie I said hello when you see her."

"I will. Tell Eric I said hi, too. Goodbye, Michael. I love you."

"I love you too. See you tonight. Bye."

That night around six, as I was just about to start getting ready to go pick Sydney up, my phone rang again. I went quickly to answer it.

"Hello?"

"Michael, can you come over a little early?" It was Francie, and she sounded upset. Alarms immediately started going off in my head.

"Sure," I answered as calmly as possible. "I just need to change for dinner first, then I'll be right over, okay?"

"I don't think you'll have to worry about dinner." Francie paused, and faintly, in the background, I heard a scream. I didn't have to ask if it was Sydney... I knew. "I'll be right there, Francie." I hung up almost without a goodbye, grabbed my keys, and was out the door.

The drive to Sydney's house seemed to take ages. When I finally pulled up and went to the door, I knew Francie would be occupied taking care of Sydney, so I used the key Sydney had given me a few months before to let myself in. Once inside, I followed the sound of Sydney's screams, ending up at the door to her bedroom. I knocked quickly before entering. Relief filled Francie's face when she saw me. Sydney, however, didn't even notice me. She was huddled in a corner of the room. At least for the moment, her screams had quieted. Francie was holding her tightly, rocking her gently back and forth.

"When did this start, Francie?"

"Just before I called you, I think. I was out running errands, and when I got back Sydney said Will had stopped by to see her. She wouldn't tell me what he said to her, but after a whe she just closed herself up in here. I thought she was just resting, but then I heard her start screaming, so I came in. Just before I called you, she was saying how sorry she was, that she should be the one that was dead...." Francie burst into tears, and that made me sad and angry at the same time. I gently took Sydney from her embrace.

"I'll take care of Sydney. Please go call Will, ask him to come back here. We have to find out what he said."

"Okay," Francie whispered as she stood up. I faintly heard her as she moved around in the kitchen, then began talking on the phone. After that, I shut out everything else and turned my attention to Sydney.. She was quiet now; In fact, she didn't even respond when I called her name.

"Sydney," I repeated, louder this time. "It's Michael. I know Will must have said something to upset you, but it will be okay. We can talk about it later. Just say something, okay? If you can hear me, please talk to me."

"Why did it have to be him?" Sydney said in a choked whisper. "I never meant to hurt him. If only I hadn't moved so fast. He'd still be alive, Michael."

I sighed, holding Sydney as tightly as I dared. "Sydney, everyone knows you didn't mean it, including your dad. I know you still feel guilty, but you have to stop torturing yourself. Francie is out there calling Will right now. Whatever he said, he'll come over here and apologize to you. That's all he can do. "

"This didn't happen because of what he said. After he left, I... I came in here, to try and calm down, because he did make me a little upset. So I was sitting in here, all by myself, and I heard Dad's voice. I looked all around... but I knew he wasn't anywhere. I knew it was me, hearing things.... Just like before. That's when I started screaming... Trying to drown him out. I'm sorry Francie called you. I would have been better in a while, by the time you came to pick me up..."

"Sydney, you don't know that. I'm glad she called me, that I was able to come here and help. But Sydney, if you're... If this is a relapse like it seems to be, you need to start going back to the psychiatrist. Right away."

"No, Michael. I just stopped going there a few months ago. I'm not ready to start going through all that again. I know it will help, and I will go. Just not yet. I want to wait a couple of weeks, okay?"

"All right, Sydney. But if anything else happens between now and then, I want you to tell me. No secrets. When we go to talk to the doctor, we'll have to tell her everything."

"I know," Sydney said with a sigh. Then, she asked me to let her go so she could stand up. "I feel better now. After Will leaves, do you think we could still go out to dinner?"

"Sure, if you're feeling up to it. I'd like that. But we should probably get out there and wait for Will. Francie will be glad to see you're feeling better."

Sydney's POV

Will ended up visiting for only about a half hour. He was very sorry he'd had any part in upsetting me, and he'd sincerely apologized. When I admitted to him what had happened after he'd left, he'd become just as alarmed as Michael. But I had assured him I was feeling better. Soon afterwards, he'd gone home, and Michael and I got ready to go out to dinner.

We each had our usual meal, and we spent nearly the next two hours talking at our small table in the corner, away from all the bustle and noise of the rest of the place. Neither of us mentioned my earlier episode, so it didn't take me long to relax. Once we'd finished dinner and our plates had been cleared, Michael's face turned more serious. I immediately asked him what was up.

"Syd, I've been wanting to talk to you about something for a while. I know it might not be the best time, but if we wait for the perfect one we'll be waiting forever. And I think I've waited too long already."

"Michael, what are you trying to say? Is something wrong? You're scaring me."

"I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to. Nothing's wrong. What I'm wondering is if... If you'd agree to marry me."

I sat there silently, taking in what he'd said. It wasn't a complete surprise, of course. I knew how he felt about me, and I felt the same in return. After everything we'd been through together in the last couple of years, there was nothing I wanted more than to spend the rest of my life with Michael. I smiled widely at him and said, "Michael, of course I want to marry you! But I know why you're hesitant to ask. If one of us has to quit, I'll do it."

Michael pulled back in surprise. "What? Sydney, I was already planning on doing that, if you said yes. But if you really want to... I guess we'll have to talk about it more. But that's for later." He leaned forward again, took both of my hands in his, brought them to his lips and kissed them. "I'm so glad you accepted. I don't have the ring yet. I went to look for the right one, and it felt so wrong doing it without you. So I thought we could pick them out together. If you want me to do the get on my knee and propose thing after that, I can."

I laughed. "No, I liked this better. You were so nervous. I think it's cute. Did you really think I'd refuse?"

"Not really.... But you always are full of surprises. Are you ready to go? It's getting pretty late, and if you wanted to tell Francie the good news you should probably get home soon."

"You won't mind if other people know already?"

"No, it's good news, why should I mind? But if you don't want to tell her yet, that's up to you."

I fell silent for a few minutes as we each paid our portion of the bill, then got our coats and made our way outside to the parking lot. Even as I went on talking I could feel the smile that was tugging at the corners of my mouth. "I'll tell her. When I come in grinning like an idiot, she'll know something's up and bug me until I tell her anyway. She'll cry, you know. She cries at tv commercials, even. Hopeless romantic, that's Francie for you."

We climbed into the car and began the drive to my house. On the way, I was quiet, just watching Michael. He couldn't stop smiling either, and that only made me happier. After everything I'd put him through while I was sick, it was a joy to see such light in his face. I wondered if he'd talked to Eric about the impending proposal when he'd been to visit. Then I decided probably not. Eric was a very good friend, but one thing he didn't possess was an ability to restrain himself when he'd been given good news. If MIchael had told him, he wouldn't have been able to hold back from telling anyone else, either

When we arrived at my house, I got slowly out of the car, and instead of going directly inside, I stood there on the sidewalk, looking up at the night sky. It was clear, and though the stars were subdued by the bright lights of the city, I could see them winking at me. After a moment I felt Michael's arm slip around my shoulders.

"What are you thinking?" he whispered in my ear.

"I'm wondering.... If you'd had to ask Dad's permission to marry me, what do you think he would have said?'

Michael pulled me close, my head coming to rest on his chest. "I'm not sure, Syd,'" he said softly. "No, probably. Or maybe 'How dare you think you're good enough for my daughter.' But it would have been okay. I can be a very persausive guy when I need to be."

"Oh really?" I said with a chuckle. "I guess that would have been lucky for me, then. It wouldn't have been you he disliked, not really. It was just Dad's way. Did I ever tell you what he said to Danny, the day he called to ask permission?"

Michael sqeezed me tighter as he asked, "What did he say, Sydney?"

"He said... He said that he didn't know why Danny should care what he thought. Because he believed I didn't care what he thought. At the time I suppose I didn't... but I also didn't know him then. I felt bad for Danny, having to ask him like that. Now I'm standing here wishing you had the chance to. Because I'd like to know what he'd say, if he'd be happy for us. That sounds so stupd."

"It's not stupid. It's very sweet." He hugged me tightly once more. "Come on, let's go inside and give Francie our good news."

We went inside and found Francie waiting up for us, pretending to watch a movie. As soon as the door opened she was on her feet, rushing to meet us. "Finally! How many hours do you guys need to eat dinner, anyway??"

I looked up, and the smile faded from my face. Francie hadn't been waiting up to ask us what we'd talked about over dinner. She really looked worried, even a little scared.

"I'm sorry, Fran. We just took our time, that's all. I'm fine, really. Nothing bad happened tonight, I promise. But something good did."

Francie's face lit up, and I looked back at Michael to see if he wanted to say it with me. But he shook his head. "This is your moment. You tell her. I get mine with Eric tomorrow anyway."

I broke into a wide grin, took a couple more steps inside, and said, "How would you feel about being my maid of honor?"

Francie gasped, and almost immediately had tears in her eyes. "Are you kidding? Of course I will! I'm so happy for you!"

Francie hugged both of us, congratulated us again, then left us alone to say our goodnights. We lingered a while, sitting on the couch together for a few minutes, enjoying the quiet after I turned off the television. Then, I hugged and kissed Michael goodbye, telling him I'd see him tomorrow. By the time I went back to my room to get ready for bed, passing by Francie's open door, I saw she was already asleep. I never could figure out how she was able to do that. Once I was in bed, I laid there for a long time, as usual. But I knew that for tonight at least, my dreams would be happy ones.

Six days later

Sydney had debated for a while at work whether to come to the cemetery or not. In the end, she had felt compelled to. She was going to be a bride... A bride with no father to give her away. Wherever her father was, Sydney was sure he already knew about the changes in her life. Still, she wanted to tell him herself. Kneeling carefully on the grass, she whispered,

"Hi, Daddy, I know you're probably wondering why I'm back here so soon. I came to tell you my good news. I'm going to be getting married. Michael asked me on Saturday..."

Jack stayed where he was for another moment or two, just listening to his daughter speak. He'd shown up at her house this afternoon, hoping just to catch a glimpse of her as she'd come home. But then, she'd come back out of the house after only a few minutes, getting back in her car. Jack had followed as distantly as possible without losing sight of her, even though he was driving a new car she wouldn't recognize. When he realized where she was going, his heart had grown heavy.

Now, to hear her so eager to share her happy news with him, he wanted so much to come out of hiding, to tell her he was alive, and would be there when the time came for her to be given away. But he knew Sydney was nowhere near ready... He became even more certain of this as he listened to her talking about a relapse of her bouts with mental illness that had happened on the same day Michael had proposed. He was going to have to bide his time, and find the most gentle way possible of helping his daughter realize he was indeed still alive.

He watched until Sydney finished speaking, stood up, and walked away. Then, he whispered, "Sydney, I promise you that soon you won't have to miss me anymore. I miss you, too. And I'm coming home."