Chapter 4: Galaxoid and Nebular
Eventually, the cliff went downwards until it evened out with the river. Calvin and Hobbes reached it and sat down. Calvin had fazed out of fantasy mode sometime ago. They sat down to have lunch.
"Break out the peanut butter!" Calvin said to Hobbes. "I need something to eat."
"Same here," sighed Hobbes, digging through the suitcase. "Here's the bread." He handed it to Calvin.
Calvin took out a few slices. "I'm beginning to think this could be the start of a whole new life!" he said. "We could join the S.W.A.T. Team if we succeed at this."
"You can have your peanut butter," Hobbes said, handing him the peanut butter. He wasn't really listening to what Calvin had said. "I'm going to have a tuna fish sandwich instead."
Calvin prepared his sandwich. "Do ya think there'll be a reward for this?" he continued. "Maybe we'll get a hundred dollars out of this deal! Maybe even two hundred!"
"Ah, here's the tuna!" said Hobbes, pulling one of the cans out. "Here we go!"
"I'll bet Mom and Dad are gonna treat us differently after this, too. They'll probably let us choose dinner for once. Quite frankly, I'd rather not have to eat some living green glop that can get me in trouble."
Hobbes had just finished making his sandwich. "Ah, the perfect sandwich!" he declared. He took a bite out of it.
Calvin finished making his sandwich. "It's gonna be whole lot different when we get home, Hobbes," he declared. "We'd better get this over with to make it come sooner."
Hobbes had just finished his sandwich. "Sorry, did you say something?"
Calvin finished his sandwich. "Never mind. Come on. Let's look around. I'm sure the claw-car managed to get to shore somehow."
Hobbes looked all around, using his super-good sight. Then he spotted something.
"Look over there!" he exclaimed. "There's a tunnel in there. Tire tracks are going inside it."
"Good job, Hobbes," said Calvin. "I'll lead. You take the wagon."
Hobbes was tired of pulling around the wagon, but didn't argue. He took the handle and walked after Calvin.
The cave was dark and spooky. Hobbes, despite being a cat of the wild, was terrified.
Normally, Calvin would've been, too. Somehow though, he wasn't.
That was because instead of an underground tunnel. To him, it was an alien corridor. To him, Hobbes was his trusty sidekick, Spaceman Mort. To him, Calvin was the intrepid space explorer, Spaceman Spiff.
Hobbes noticed the look on his face.
"Here we go again," he thought.
Calvin began to mutter again. "The fearless Spaceman Spiff and his trusty sidekick, Mort, walk down the alien corridor. Spiff notices that there is a light up ahead. It must mean that they are reaching the end of the corridor. Spiff and Mort hurry on ahead."
Calvin and Hobbes hurried on to the end of the tunnel. When their eyes adjusted properly to the sunlight, Calvin continued to mutter.
"Spiff realizes that they are in a part of the planet they have never seen before. Spiff and Mort follow the tracks made by the space-napper's planet car."
Calvin and Hobbes walked at least a mile.
By 2' o clock, they noticed that the tracks were gone. Their faces fell.
Calvin was about to continue muttering when he felt something hit his head, snapping him out of it.
He whirled around and saw Hobbes with the bread.
"Hey, we need that stuff!" he yelled.
Hobbes was extremely angry with Calvin.
"Well, this is just great, Calvin. Just great. Thanks to you, we are now hopelessly lost in an area of the woods we're not familiar with! We could've stayed home for at least a week before the camping trip and have all the fun we wanted. No, you had to make sure your summer vacation was perfect. Well, let me tell you something, buster! Right now, sleeping in a tent on hard rocks and eating dead sea animals and dry spam is starting to sound pretty good right now! You wanna go and get lost in this place? Fine. I'm going home!" And he turned to leave.
Calvin ran out in front of him.
"Come on, Hobbes!" cried Calvin. "Don't give up now! We're doing great! We've only been gone for about five hours. If we haven't figured out everything in another five, then it will be okay to give up. Hobbes, we've come too far to give up now! Just think of the fame we'll be getting if we succeed. Also, we're not just doing this for ourselves. We're doing for Susie and Moe and all the other kids. Sure, they're not so great, but do they deserve to miss out on summer vacation because of some wacko? NO, THEY DON'T! No child should have to spending summer vacation in some place we don't know about yet. I feel sorry for those schools that have year round school years, and I wish I could help them, but I can't. This is my way of helping innocent kids get their time off from school to be enjoyable, as all summer vacations should. If you want to go home, fine, but I'm in it for the long run. I'm not giving up until I've rescued those kids!"
Hobbes stared at Calvin, bewildered. He sighed.
"Okay, Calvin. You're right. We'll rescue them."
"Great!" said Calvin happily. "Come on. I'll pull the wagon for a half hour."
"Thanks pal," said Hobbes.
They were about to leave when they heard something from above them. They looked up. They could not believe what they saw! Settling down on the ground was a huge, shiny flying saucer!
"A UFO!" they gasped.
The door on the front opened and an elevator stretched down to them. Two aliens came down. They both had only one eye. Neither of them had arms and they had tentacles for legs. They both had on uniforms. One had a moon and the other had a star. They had pointy hats on that had the symbols on them.
"I'm Galaxoid," said the star one. "This is Nebular.
Calvin wasn't sure of what to say except for, "I'm Calvin. This is Hobbes."
"Um, hi?" said Hobbes.
"Charmed. Take us to the Supreme Earthling Potentate."
Calvin thought for a moment. He really didn't know who that was or if one even existed. Then he had an idea. "Speaking," he said.
Hobbes was alarmed.
"Ah! What luck," exclaimed Galaxoid.
"It was I who chose to the landing site," said Nebular. "Kudos for Navigator Nebular!"
"So, uh, what can we do for you?" asked Calvin.
"We are taking over your world," explained Nebular.
"You are??" asked Calvin. "What for??"
"Earth is prime real estate," replied Galaxoid.
"Location, location, location," added Nebular.
"I guess I'd never given that much thought," said Calvin.
"Charm, atmosphere, quiet galaxy…" said Galaxoid.
"Actually, the atmosphere needs cleaning," said Hobbes.
"A good fixer up," said Nebular.
It was then that Calvin got an idea.
"As Supreme Earthling Potentate, I'm afraid I can't let you just come in and take over the planet."
"You make this difficult," frowned Galaxoid.
"Prepare for war," declared Nebular.
Calvin and Hobbes gulped. "Let's not be hasty!" said Hobbes.
"Yeah, we'll offer you a trade!" Calvin offered.
"What sort of trade?" Galaxoid questioned.
"It's quite simple," said Calvin. "We're off on a mission to find a lost group of earth children who have been kidnapped."
"We're quite sorry to hear that," said Galaxoid.
"Thanks, but listen," said Calvin. "If you can help us get any information on their whereabouts, we shall give you the Earth."
"It's a deal!" said Nebular.
"Come aboard the ship," said Galaxoid. "We can locate anyone on the planet quite easily with a few button pushes and switch flips."
The two aliens climbed aboard. Calvin and Hobbes, pulling the wagon, went up, too. It was very difficult. Have you ever tried to pull a wagon up a flight of stairs? It's quite difficult.
Once inside the UFO, Galaxoid and Nebular started searching through the computer system. Since they didn't have any arms, they used their hats. Calvin and Hobbes waited.
"They have a lot of shiny things in here," whispered Calvin. "I wonder what they all do."
Hobbes knew he had to answer in a way that would not make Calvin push them all at once.
"Um… they probably run the…er…radio?"
Calvin looked disappointed. "I was hoping they'd blow something up."
Galaxoid approached. "We need the name of an earthling from your area."
Calvin and Hobbes really didn't know that many kids. Calvin came up with the first one that really came to mind. "Susie Derkins."
Nebular typed it into the computer. Big red letters came up on the screen.
SUSIE DERKINS LOCATED! FASTEN YOUR SEAT BELTS AND/OR HOLD ON FOR DEAR LIFE!
That thing wasn't whistling dixie.
The UFO shot into the air and sailed so fast, Calvin and Hobbes had no time to hang on to anything. They flew back into the wall.
No sooner had they crashed that the UFO stopped. Hobbes landed first. Calvin then landed on him.
"Nice landing," muttered Hobbes. "I'm probably paralyzed."
"All except your mouth, obviously," Calvin shot back. "I'm not sorry at all."
The two looked outside when the door opened.
Calvin thought he was in heaven! They were at a swamp!
Hobbes was a little disgusted.
"They're here?" he asked, surprised.
Calvin, Hobbes, Galaxoid and Nebular all walked down.
"We just bought a planet with murky spots?" asked Galaxoid, outraged.
"Why did you not tell us?" demanded Nebular.
"You didn't ask us," Calvin simply said.
"You made us fly out here in exchange!" cried Galaxoid. "We've been greatly overcharged!"
"Yeah, well," said Hobbes, "let the buyer beware."
"We demand that you bring this planet up to code!" exclaimed Galaxoid.
Calvin was confused. "Why don't you take in some of the beauty around here?" he asked. "Lot's of beautiful plants are grown here. Lot's of interesting animals live here. It would be great for science and research."
The two aliens were impressed. "Thank you ever so much!" cried Nebular.
"Oh," added Calvin, "I'd also like you to know that girls ages 5 to 12 make excellent zoo exhibits."
"Thank you!" said Galaxoid. "We most go now. Good luck to you. Hurry, Nebular! At light-speed, we can just make it back in time."
"Our leader will be pleased," said Nebular.
The two aliens scrambled up into the spacecraft.
Calvin and Hobbes waved as they took off and disappeared.
"They were nice," sighed Hobbes.
"Indeed," said Calvin.
He picked up the wagon handle.
"Come on," he said. "Let's figure out how to get into the room where the kids are."
Hobbes yawned. "Can we go to sleep first?" he asked. "It's almost 9!"
Calvin hadn't noticed. How did it get so late all of a sudden? He didn't care. He was beginning to feel sleepy, too.
"Okay. Let's sleep in that tree over there." He pointed to a moss covered tree that had a nest like middle.
Hobbes helped Calvin into the tree's middle. They hung the wagon from a branch. Then Hobbes rested himself on a branch.
Calvin sighed. He looked up at the stars.
"That universe just goes on forever, doesn't it?" he sighed.
"It kinda makes you wonder why man considers himself such a big, freakin' deal, doesn't it?" added Hobbes, nodding off.
Calvin muttered as he fell asleep, "That's why we stay inside with our appliances."