Chapter 8: So Long

It took some time, but Calvin and Hobbes were soon back in their own back yard with Spiff, Tracer and Stupendous Man.

"Well," said Calvin. "You three were pretty good today."

"Aw, shucks," said Tracer. "It was nothing."

"Yeah," said Spiff. "We were just happy to help out."

"And to come out," added Stupendous.

"You wanna stay a little longer?" asked Hobbes. "Calvin's mom may get tired of cooking for seven people, but you're welcome to."

"Naw," said Spiff. "We've decided that the real world is too scary."

"Yeah," agreed Stupendous. "No offence. You guys are great."

"It's just that," finished Tracer, "we feel better on the adventures that you put us on."

Calvin grinned. "You guys are heroes," he said. "You're saying that you get afraid?"

"Well," said Spiff. "Everyone has their own fears. We've just decided that the real world is one of ours."

"Don't worry," smiled Calvin. "Let's just prepare the Imaginator."

Calvin put the helmet on his head. Hobbes was about to press the "reverse" button when Spiff stopped him.

"Hold on!" he said. He handed Calvin his Destructo-Ray. "You'd better destroy that thing when we're back just in case you-know-who comes back."

Calvin couldn't believe it. "You're giving me a weapon??"

Spiff winked at Hobbes. "Yep."

Calvin prepared himself. "Hobbes, the button, please."

"Okay," said Hobbes. "Only because you asked nicely."

Hobbes pressed the reverse button.

Stupendous Man and Tracer Bullet waved and disappeared in a flash of light.

"Remember," said Spiff. "No more Wormwood monsters."

"You'll be getting a different one come September," Calvin replied.

Spiff smiled and disappeared in the light.

From inside the house, Calvin's parents were watching. After Spiff was gone, they saw Hobbes morph from a real tiger to a toy tiger. For the last time, Calvin's mom fainted. His dad fainted with her.

Calvin removed the helmet and looked at Hobbes.

"Well, pal," he said. "That was quite the adventure."

Neither of them knew that a scratched up Retro was approaching them. He was in a mobile bush.

"I'll say," said Hobbes. "I always wondered what those three looked like."

Retro moved closer.

"Say," Hobbes continued. "Why weren't Tiger Lad, Spaceman Mort and Tiger Eye there?"

Retro moved even closer.

"Sorry," said Calvin. "I'd introduce you, but I've gotta destroy this thing."

Calvin took out the Destructo-Ray. He aimed and pulled the trigger. The Imaginator blew into smithereens.

"NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" screamed Retro.

There was an awkward silence. Retro realized he had given himself away. Calvin looked at Hobbes. Then he looked back at Retro.

"I don't think Earth really needs a nut like you," he concluded. "You're way too far ahead of your time."

Just then, a rather familiar flying saucer landed in the backyard.

"Oh!" said Calvin. "Look who's back."

The door opened and the escalator came out.

The escalator knocked Retro on his head, knocking him out.

Galaxoid and Nebular came down.

"Is it safe?" asked Galaxoid.

"Yeah," said Hobbes. "It's safe."

"I think you guys shouldn't come here anymore," said Calvin. "People will go crazy."

"True," said Nebular. "We shall be leaving. We just wanted to say thank you and good bye."

"No problem," said Hobbes.

Then Calvin had an idea.

"I don't suppose you two could take this here scientist with you?"

"A scientist??" asked Galaxoid. "Of course!"

A robotic arm came down and picked up Retro, taking him, still unconscious, aboard the ship.

"Thanks, guys," said Calvin. "You've both been a great help."

"No problem," said Galaxoid. "Good luck here on Earth, kid."

"Don't worry," said Calvin. "I've survived six years. I can probably make it a few more."

"Good bye!" chimed the aliens, and they went back up into the ship.

"Good bye!" called Calvin and Hobbes.

The ship hummed for a few moments, and then it disappeared into the sky. Calvin and Hobbes stood there, watching it leave.

"Well, ol' buddy," said Calvin. "There's a lesson in this adventure somewhere."

"And that is?" asked Hobbes.

"Guys like Retro are bad news."

"How is that applicable elsewhere in life?"

"It isn't. That's what I like about it."

"Well, what do we do now?"

"Come on," said Calvin, pointing to the tree house. "Let's have a G.R.O.S.S. meeting. We have to catch up."

"Right."

Calvin and Hobbes scrambled up the rope ladder. They put on their paper hats and got started.

"This meeting of the secret girl-loathing club of the Get Rid of Slimy girlS club will now come to order, Dictator-For-Life Calvin residing."

"Here, here!" said Hobbes.

"Today's meeting is commemorate our two brave soldiers, Dictator-For-Life Calvin and President and First-Tiger Hobbes, for saving the world from complete and utter destruction. It was a tough mission, but they've won the hugest battle in G.R.O.S.S. history. I say that what they have proven themselves loyal members. I say that they've earned multiple awards: Bottle Caps of Valor, Rubbers Balls of Cunning, Erasers of Courage and Buttons of Good Will."

"Here, here!" cheered Hobbes. "Now then, I would like to make a note."

"The chair recognizes First Tiger Hobbes."

"Let us not forget those we lost in this battle: Spaceman Spiff, Tracer Bullet, Stupendous Man, Galaxoid and Nebular. Without them, the mission would have failed."

"Yay verely," agreed Calvin. "Let us remember them with pride. We were privileged to know them. Meeting adjourned."

Calvin and Hobbes removed their hats.

"So," said Hobbes. "What do we do now?"

"I say we get ready for the best summer of our lives!"

"How do we do that?"

Calvin climbed down the rope ladder. "Well, for one thing, we could go for a ride in the woods."

Hobbes climbed down after him. "How about no. I've had enough rides in that old thing for a few days."

"Okay, then how about we go watch TV?"

"Now there's something I wanna do!"

"Great! I'll break out the cereal and the tuna, and then we can discuss how we're gonna attack Susie with a water balloon after the cartoons are over."

"Sounds like a plan!" said Hobbes. "Then we can search for dinosaur bones in the backyard!"

"Yeah! Then we can play a rousing game of Calvinball!"

"Then we can find a poisonous snake and scare ourselves silly!"

"Yeah!"

The two friends smiled and went inside.

"It's going to be a great summer, Hobbes ol' buddy," smiled Calvin. "Let's make it last!"

And the two friends sat back and relaxed as they got their summer vacation started.

Epilogue

Everything basically returned to normal afterwards.

Calvin's parents never really believed that everything that had happened had happened. They'd both fainted and woke up thinking it was a dream. The entire neighborhood seemed as though it was all a dream.

Calvin never really liked this. He's still wondering how it happened.

In truth, Hobbes had gone back to Retro's secret lair and had set a Forget-O-Ray for everyone except Calvin and himself so that he'd have the entertainment of watching Calvin fail at trying to get the press to report the story. That and he just wanted things to be the way they were before. He figures that Calvin will get over it in a week, and then they'll really have a great summer. They still talk about it every now and then, but Hobbes is just glad it's over.

Calvin is no longer looking forward to 2nd Grade, so he's basically back to normal. After hearing several horror stories about homework assignments from various websites, he's wishing he was still a 1st Grader.

Still, summer has been good for them so far. They put the wagon away so for a month, having gotten their butts sore from riding in it for a few days straight. They've played several games of Calvinball and had several victories during G.R.O.S.S. They managed to knock Susie three feet from where she was hit last week.

You're probably wondering about Retro returning. In truth, it's not likely. Now that he's gone with Galaxoid and Nebular, they've probably already done some damage to him.

Calvin and Hobbes have neither seen nor heard from those two aliens ever since they took Retro away. It's probably for the best. They've figured that Earth probably wasn't prime real estate after all and probably sent in for a refund. That'd be pretty hard to do, don't ya think?

Calvin and Hobbes have decided that they'll hold off on the adventures for a while. They haven't pulled out the cardboard box for ages, and, most likely, it's gonna stay like that. They've limited their adventures to what they were before, but who knows? Maybe one day they'll venture out of the neighborhood once more and go to the rescue again. Maybe they'll be heroes and stay heroes.

And maybe, just maybe, not everyone thinks Calvin's tale of saving the kids was fake. There may be some people out there who will bring them in for help. Maybe…

But I mustn't tell you anymore, or Ishould spoil the next story…