I decided to rescue these from a very old thread on the "Xena Online Community" board after the hacker attack last week -- didn't want them to get lost in EZboard's recovery process! The thread was for limericks on any subject to do with "Xena: Warrior Princess", including episodes, characters, ideas, etc.
Here are some of mine.
Sins Of the Past
What a way to open the series:
Xena knows all too well what her fear is;
But she's forced to confess
That for life to progress,
Kicking butt must accompany theories.
Ten Litte Warlords
Apparently what makes a god
Is not birth or a good magic word --
In this ep we discover
That a god needs a lover...
Either that, or a really big sword!
The Furies
Though the Furies both howl and hound,
Ares never does get around
To repaying his debt to
The lust-filled Alecto,
So years later, she gets Xena drowned.
Fallen Angel (and Season 4)
There are more things in heaven's grand canyon
Than are taught of in Greece, Amazonia,
Hindus, Norselands and Ch'in...
From tai chi to the Djinn,
No religion missed Xena's companion.
Anthony and Cleopatra
Xena wasn't in Anthony's thrall,
She had everything under control,
But to quote Gabrielle,
As the farmgirl from hell --
She was playing her character's role.
Crucifixion
Wonder how many more works of fiction
Could convince viewers that crucifixion,
Rather than a once-off,
Like the flu and the cough
Was a harmlessly common affliction?
Eternal Bonds
Pursued by a storm without leasure,
Xena used Ares' cave under pressure,
Trouble was -- while the storm
Had no physical form,
Ares liked to mix business with pleasure.
Friend in Need (FIN)
Though it had silky fabrics galore,
Story-wise, FIN was truly a bore:
Many arrows were fired,
Xena died and retired
(In that order). But what was it for?
The Xena Scrolls
The scholars had always agreed that
The God of War wasn't a reader,
Until they exhumed
What remained of his tomb...
And found literature buried there with him!
Intimate Stranger
Ares had the misguided idea
To build Xena, like shelves from IKEA.
Though the product resembled
Xena fully assembled,
It had more than one screw loose up here.
Been There Done That (aka "Why I love X:WP")
If a girl from "Sex and the City"
Was stuck in a day that's repeating,
She would notice at once
That she didn't gain an ounce,
And would spend the whole episode eating.
That's enough for now!