Chapter 6 – Goodbye For Now

Disclaimer: These characters are owned by the WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions, and Amy Sherman-Palladino.

Author's Note: Thanks so much for reading and thanks to the gang at TWoP for the encouragement. Most especially, a huge thank you to JeSouhaite for betaing this whole fic. This is not remotely the same story it would have been without her input and feedback, and that's a really good thing.

Luke watched Lorelai pull away and followed her car with his eyes, smiling when he saw her wave before turning the corner. He dreaded the remaining weeks he would have to spend here, knowing what and who waited for him in Stars Hollow. He pulled the toy sword out of his belt, chuckling to himself at the gift. It was so very Lorelai to want to document such a moment, though he had to admit, it was definitely a moment worth remembering.

Today had felt so comfortable, and he was relieved that Lorelai was finally willing to talk about Rory. Though he had been hoping all weekend that she would open up to him, he was still sort of awed by it when it happened. She gave her trust so sparingly, to so few. For quite a while now, he had been one of those few, but starting this relationship had shaken the situation and it was as if she had to learn to trust him as a friend all over again.

He still felt a hint of worry, however, that last night's fight was a signal that something was not quite right. The responsibility was his, he thought. Not only had he accused her of flirting, but his inability to express himself had shaken her confidence in a completely unexpected way. It still surprised him to think about the vulnerability she had shown him. He had always seen her as a fountain of confidence, beautiful, bright and bubbly, but he was beginning to wonder if he really knew her as well as he thought he did.

His bigger fear, and the one he could barely admit to himself, was that she would realize that he wasn't the man she wanted to be with. He knew that he was different from other men she had dated. Those men didn't make Lorelai wonder if they were attracted to her. They didn't make her question herself. They told her what they felt. He had never been very good at that.

He walked reluctantly back into the Faire, trying to imagine how he had tolerated this madness without her helping him to make light of it. Since he no longer had anything better to do, he returned to Liz's booth to see if Liz and TJ needed anything.

Liz looked up as he approached, "Lorelai had to leave?"

"Yeah, she needs to work at the inn tonight."

"Luke," TJ cut in, "I have to tell you. I don't know how you did it. I have no idea what that girl sees in you, but she is hot, and way out of your league, buddy."

There were so many ways in which TJ's statement was inappropriate, not the least of which was talking that way about another woman in front of his wife, but Luke could not even respond, having had almost the same thoughts only moments before.

"Oh Luke, don't listen to him," Liz said, giving TJ a gentle slap on the head. She turned to Luke and said softly, "I'm really glad you're with her. She makes you happy, and 'happy' and 'Luke' aren't two words I usually think of together."

"Yeah…well…she does make life interesting."

"I'm sorry that we're keeping you two apart, especially since you just got together. Have I told you lately how amazing you are for coming up here to help us?"

"You don't have to-"

"No, really Luke. It means a lot that you're here, especially after all I've put you through. Does Lorelai know how lucky she is to have found such a wonderful guy?"

He couldn't really respond, except to shrug. Right now, he wasn't sure if he was really as good for her as she was for him.

Liz must have seen his uncertainty, because she added, "Luke, you make her happy too. I told you, I've got a feeling about you two, just like I had about me and TJ."

Somehow, that was not as encouraging as Liz had probably hoped it would be.

Luke waited to call Lorelai until he knew that the rush of dinner would be over and they might be able to talk uninterrupted. He couldn't believe how much he was looking forward to talking to her again, how much he missed her already.

"Dragonfly Inn, Lorelai speaking. How may I help you?"

"Lorelai, it's me."

Her voice softened with recognition, "Luke. I'm glad you called."

"Yeah…well…it's definitely not the same around here without you."

"No big parties? No girls around to flirt with?"

"Lorelai…" he protested. He knew that she was joking, but it reminded him of their fight and everything he had been worrying about all day.

"I'm sorry. I was just teasing. I didn't mean it," her voice had grown gentle, concerned.

"I know you didn't. I just…I'm really sorry about last night."

"For what?" she sounded honestly confused.

"For fighting. For accusing you…"

"Luke, you already apologized for that."

"Actually, I don't think that I did."

"It was just a misunderstanding and it's in the past."

He marveled that she could just set the argument aside and move on, but he had been thinking about it so much since she had left, that he wasn't able to brush it away. "Lorelai, I just…I don't want you to wonder about me…about us."

"What do you mean, wonder?" She was confused again, and Luke sighed again at his inability to say what he meant.

"Lorelai, you're used to guys who tell you stuff, buy you flowers-"

"You bought me flowers."

"I know, but that was unusual for me. I'm not great with words and stuff. I'm not…obvious. You're used to the thousand yellow daisies kind of guys."

He heard her take in a breath, "Luke, I didn't marry him."

"At least you knew how he felt about you."

"Yeah," she said, a little sadly. "I just didn't know how I felt about him. It's easy to let yourself get so wrapped up in what someone else feels that you forget to think about what you feel. Where is all this coming from?"

"When you said you didn't know if I wanted to be with you, it really threw me. It made me wonder if I'm the right-"

"Stop. Don't do this, Luke. I want to be with you." She paused and he heard her take a breath before continuing, "I don't want a thousand yellow daisies. Maybe I used to want that, or think that I wanted that, but I don't now. I want the guy who can tell when I'm hurting but lets me change the subject until I'm ready to talk about it."

"Oh." How was it possible for her to say a few words (okay, more than a few - this was Lorelai after all) and turn everything that he had been feeling upside down?

"Yeah."

"Well…uh…good."

"I also want the guy whose kisses are amazing, but who has this crazy idea about waiting for the right time and place to uh…you know." She was teasing now, her voice dropping at the last few words to mimic his euphemism for sex. Her tone was a signal to bring back the banter.

"Really? Amazing, huh?" His voice was light. Her words gave him a new assurance.

"Yeah, it'll give me something to think about during these three long weeks until you get home," she said, still teasing.

He swallowed thickly. "Well…I'll be thinking of you too."

"Good. So, speaking of you coming back, where are you going to take me?"

Luke couldn't resist. "Dirty!"

Lorelai laughed. "That's not what I meant! Where are we going to go for our first date?"

"Lorelai, we just spent a weekend together. Doesn't that qualify as a first date?"

"Not in the traditional first-date sense. Don't you owe me a movie?"

"Yeah, you're right, though in the weeks since I asked you, I've been rethinking-"

"Rethinking? Don't you dare!" As much as he hated himself for thinking it, it was good to hear the horror in her voice.

"Not rethinking the date. Rethinking the plan for the date, our 'first date' if you want to call it that."

"So you can't be a movie guy after all?"

"I can, and I suspect that being with you isn't going to give me much choice about that, but I had a different idea for this date."

"Oh share, share!"

"I'd like to surprise you, but let's just say that dinner will be involved."

"Sounds good, as long as there's dessert..." Her tone said that she might not be referring to food.

"Well then, I'll have to figure that into the plans."

"Good. I'll be looking forward to it."

They continued their banter about the upcoming date. It felt so familiar and yet different at the same time. Their wordplay often had sexual undertones, but now those light jokes held promise as well. He thought perhaps it was Lorelai's way of reassuring him, convincing him that she was sure about him.

He felt himself relaxing as they talked, allowing himself to fall into the comfort of their relationship. The hidden fears gradually left him as he realized he didn't need to measure up to 'those other guys' that Lorelai has dated. Because she wants him. He rolled that around in his head and replayed the weekend, starting to wonder if there might be another explanation for Lorelai's temporary lack of confidence. That maybe it wasn't about him not measuring up, but about her feelings for him. He was struck by the possibility that this relationship was different for her in the same way that it was different for him. That maybe it mattered to her, that he mattered to her, in an entirely new way. At least, that's what it was starting to feel like.

The end