I felt nervous and confidant knowing that self-defensive would save me, and let me see another day. If it wasn't for that pamphlet I discovered thrown in with the junk mail, I would have probably been dead on the ground, or even buried six feet under along with my mother. The noises of people shouting and screaming across the street, hearing them shouting over ridiculous things, while the cars sped by in such a rush close to knocking people off their feet. So many people where I stood standing, had been killed. I could tell by the dieing bouquet of flowers, and hand crafted hearts that were tapped and standing on the traffic island in the middle of the busy intersection. The bloody red flowers were fading into black, while my eyes caught more flowers that was stood right at the edge of the sidewalk. My violet eyes narrowed at the sight of two young girls shaking rapidly inside the bus shelter waiting to take, a bus home alone. I understood this part of the city was screwed up enough as it was, it wasn't right to have ten year olds waiting for a bus at that time of night either.
My hands felt frost bitten already, just by being exposed the cold windy weather of fall. My cream colored hand grasped the door, hoping all this would prepare me against my father. It amazed me that I wasn't already dead yet, he had so many chances to kill me but yet he decided not to. In one point in time I thought he had a heart underneath his hatred and anger, how could he when he murdered my mother? My heart was already pounding out of my chest, cause I knew I would have to use these moves more than anyone else would have to. The streets in my eyes seemed safer than my own home. They didn't always have the sensation of someone's hands grasping their neck, or something against their neck either. Most of the high school students think half of my life is all a little joke to make people believe, but they are stupid if they don't. Who in their right minds would make this story up? I learned to accept the fact that I could trust nobody else, except Inuyasha; he understands my pain and suffering, and I know that's one true reason why we are together. And this is how I met him...
I paced myself into the warm, small building feeling the cold wind disappear off my back.
My eyes were stunned in amazement watching men and women swinging punches into the air, and their eyes narrowed following every move of the male instructor. I stood quietly with the white pamphlet in my hand staying out of harm's way, leaning against the wall observing. There were mirrors everywhere; huge blue mats laid on the ground. There were a couple of punching bags hanging from the wall, but there was hardly anything in the room. I seemed very anxious noticing the skill and how accurate they were. The male instructor seemed very tense and I could tell from the sweat dripping underneath his black bangs. There was someone that caught my attention. He seemed angered and very determined and hardly blinked at all. His dark brown eyes looked almost black, and his long white winter hair stood out from everyone else's. He also had a very pale complexion, exactly like mine. He looked pretty tough and angry at the world, and step by step I understood why. The class graciously sat down clapping after each and every move, while the instructor's deepened voice stopped in the midst's of his instructions. He saw me laying against the wall in the shadows, waiting to be able to join.
"Class, wait one minute. Don't just stand there, drop your bags and join the rest of us. If you don't want to learn I suggest you get out right this second. If you are a tough girl you'll stay." The classmates heads swung in my direction chattering, watching their eyes shift constantly and their hands covering their mouths, whispering. I knew for sure they were making fun of my complexion, and truly how I white I looked. My arms and legs were completely frail, and they could tell just by looking at me something was defiantly wrong. They all had nothing better than do, to judge someone before they even got to know them. It seemed that's all the world was made of. Stupid, ignorant people that had nothing better to than gawk at someone who stood out amongst the crowd. It was nothing I wasn't use to, just made me sick this was how our society was. The teenage girls just laughed hurtfully, while the guys stood in stunned silence and I could only wonder what they were picking me apart for. Maybe my dull dry hair, or my skin complexion. I could read it their eyes, they were looking for something to tear me apart for and it seemed, that's what life was about. My frail hands grabbed the bright elastic from my wrist, nerve racking watching everyone stare at me, like some freak of nature.
"We don't have all day. Please tell us your name at least so we can get this over with." The instructor seemed pushy and impatient, and it seemed everybody was in a rush to do something. The women just glared at me with hate and satisfaction, as though they didn't like me just by looking how I presented myself. I threw my gym bag to the side, tying my black hair back narrowing my eyes back at everyone else who dared to even give me a look when they didn't understand who I was. Nobody did. I didn't even bother to let them. When people thought they knew the real me, they truly didn't. I had more problems that anyone else could see.
"Kikyo." I replied throwing myself down on the floor heavily, while everyone finally drew their attention away from me. I sat directly beside Inuyasha who had an angered look on his face, seeing his one hand hold up his face weakly. His silver colored hair shone beautifully, even looking into his eyes told me his life was no walk in the park either. Something else about him intergued me, other than his fighting skills. He didn't even say a word, or mentioned anything about himself. He seemed mysterious and didn't seem willing to let anyone understand him, or even hear his own voice. Everyone else would talk and smile, and laugh. Not him. He seemed like he had more to him than that. He seemed like a teenage boy that was shaken and broken too many times to count.
The instructor nodded with a keen smile, making everyone stand on their feet, while they listened to every command and word that flew from his mouth. His black shimmering eyes narrowed at Inuyasha with a smile, whispering my name gently to come in front of everyone so they could judge me even more. His hands gently placed against my shoulders, knowing I'd have to stand there and make more of an ass out of myself. My violet eyes weakly looked at him, while everyone suddenly shut their mouths when his hands violently swung by. "Now Kikyo, why did you desire to come here?" My heart slowly but surely jumped to my throat. He was already passing the line with personal questions that were none of anybody's business. I wasn't going to tell them about the reason, it was too much to tell about me. I wasn't in my right mind gonna tell the complicated reason why I wanted to do this. All I knew is I needed it, if I wanted to live longer than sixteen. I wasn't going let have even a taste of my life, and not even say that I wanted to sign because my father is abusive. I didn't need anymore people to complicate my life more than it was. They didn't deserve to know, and frankly nobody did. "None of your damn business." My voice sternly warned him, that I wasn't going to share what I kept inside and tried to keep hidden. They all seemed to drop their mouths wide open, like I committed a sin or something stupid like that. Only expect Inuyasha, who's eyes beamed at me while throwing himself against the wall. The instructor seemed amazed at the heated anger, with the response I gave him. It didn't seem like anyone had told him off like that angrily, and he had no right to understand my life. His deepened voice chuckled as though he was taking me for some kind of joke. "Interesting Kikyo. With that tone you sound like you truly are a fighter. We will see about that."
It seemed there was more to this whole self-defensive than I realized. My eyes were completely focused on the tinted windows, and getting use to the small environment surrounding me. By the look on the stranger's faces they all predicted and knew exactly what was about to happen. I guess they knew this happened to new comers all the time. I didn't know maybe because I was new, and felt like an complete outsider anyways . I completely lost focus for a minute, and noticed the silver haired boy running full force from the doorway with his brown eyes looking at me, as though he was ready to murder me. His hair swayed simmering from the lights above, grasping his hands around my neck in surprise and fear. I began to understand, why everyone seemed excited and so anxious for this. They used the toughest person in the class to challenge to see what I knew myself, on protecting and fighting back. My head swung around realizing the strong hold his hands truly had, over me. He had complete power, and simply I felt threatened and frozen to the spot. My violet eyes glared back at him like a threat, feeling the sensation of tiredness ready to fall asleep. He was overly strong, and it amazed me how he could throw me around so easily. My hands could only swing pathetic punches and kicks, not even aiming or able to move my feet or my hands. His body laid over mine, pinning me down instantly hearing my light scream and struggle constantly.
His warm hands grasped my wrists,while his body weight held me down in a uncomfortable position. I couldn't even turn my head, I felt completely paralyzed and useless. I must of looked stupid that I couldn't even get even a hand out of his grip. I realized, if he could over power easily so could my father. I thought if that was my father, I would have been dead before it was even considered over.
Inuyasha refused to make his grip loose, he made sure I felt pain and the true sensation of feeling threatening and confronted. His brown eyes hardly even blinked, he stared into my violet eyes deeper, like he was staring right through me. "Come on wench, let's see you fight..." His deepened voice finally came from his mouth, sounding tormented, rusty and cold as clay. I kept up a constant struggle, I knew if he won it would be exactly letting my own father getting away with murder and I would refuse to let that happen. Inuyasha knew I was stubborn; just the way I attempted to struggle out of his grip, even when most people were already down crying out mercy. I knew I had the fighting spirit, but that didn't seem like enough to knock him down. In the corner of my eyes I could feel tears ready to flee down my face from the pain, and I knew eventually I'd have to give up. I could finally feel my hand slowly rise, but the minute I thought I was safe he proved me wrong.
His hand brutally whipped it down to the ground, and I could feel my knuckles smack hard meeting the floor feeling exactly like cement. My eyes tighten and winced and pain, and finally I let out a soft scream feeling my hands drop hard and the air circulating back into my lungs again. His warm violent hands released from my wrists, with his eyes still plastered on my grayish-violet eyes. Finally, I could inhale gathering all the air he squeezed directly out of me. I could hear the childish laughs coming from the girls my age, I could wait to face them and knock them out for being so inconsiderate. They looked weak themselves; they had skinnier arms and legs than I did that was sickening to even look at them. No wonder why, they had signed up for self-defensive. Everyone signed up for the hell and the fun of it, it seemed but I knew I would have to use this way earlier than expected. I knew also, this was something nobody could learn over night. Sometimes I wish things could be that way.
I threw myself against the wall, gathering all the air I possibly could before I could even say I felt alright. Determination and hate shone through both the silver haired guy's eyes and mine; we were both here, and defiantly not for the sport either. The instructor gave a devious laugh at my mere attempt to throw the guy off of me; I believed a lot of girls needed to learn this more than men needed to. Girls were always roaming the street at night, even younger than fourteen and anything could happen to them. Rape was a big factor in the city; sick, twisted men roaming around like aroused, animals doing whatever they pleased without guilt. The men were strong enough to take care of themselves, but we are considered weak and that's why so many can take advantage of us. We don't have the right to be roaming around at dark, even if we had a good reason to. Welcome to the sick society we all live in.
The instruction grasped the water bottle, drenching his throat ready to give out more detailed and hard instructions. "Now everyone you will be assigned with an partner to learn the difficult techniques." His hands waved to get people paired up, and it seemed me and Inuyasha were the only ones out sitting alone.
We eventually had to get up, and follow through with this whether we liked it or not. His brutal hands left a red rash mark on my neck and my wrists, and I could tell he was completely serious about this like I felt. I wanted to ask him so many questions why he seemed like he hated the world, but I'd be butting into his personal space just like the instructor did with me. Inuyasha's brown eyes glared at me hatefully, and it felt so awkward that none of us were talking. Everyone else was chatting, laughing getting acquainted with the others but we remained still and motionless. He had only said one word to me, that was nothing other than friendly. The word wench strongly ringed in my head, and those were the only words that rolled off his lips. He stood completely still and impatient, while he wiped the sweat from his white winter bangs. "Kikyo, right?" His voice had unique character to it; it sounded bitter yet caring at the exact time. My eyes blinked for a moment, watching his face wringed slightly and while his left eye twitched.
"Yes." I calmly answered feeling abit nervous I was put up against the guy who had just kicked my ass completely. His hands just rested on his hips, laughing hysterically like he was legally insane. There was more to him than that.
"Feh, nice name, if you are named after a pathetic flower." His voice hissed and laughed at the same time, while he noticed the mild angered expression on my face. He was already starting with me, and by the looks in his eyes he was just alittle boy that had nothing better to do than torment and challenge the opposite sex. My violet eyes slightly narrowed, noticing the flare and spunk coming from this seventeen year old guy.
My face hardly showed any emotion, and it wasn't like I actually cared that he dissed me already by starting with my name. If he wanted to play this childish game, I was going to let him. Show him what a fool he was for thinking in his right mind he could get me going. "Oh, and I doubt your name is any better." Everyone was else practicing moves, instead we stood here like children arguing over the stupidest thing anyone could possibility imagine. Still, I hated it but at the same time this was getting interesting for me. Still, there was something underneath that made him stand out and I couldn't put my finger on it. He intrigued me with his attitude; rarely anyone had that exact fiery attitude.
You could hear people's feet and hands meeting with the hard punching bag, while Inuyasha and I just stared at each other like it was someone competition. He gently bit his lip, watching his relaxed hands turn into fists and I could tell his name was no better either.
"It's Inuyasha. Don't even start with my name alright? Really, I don't see any reason why girls would want to fight. Why would a beautiful girl want to fight anyways? Your weak and pathetic as it is Kikyo. So you know this isn't going to be a challenge for me, you already proved that not too long ago." His coarse bitter-sweet voice was none other than cocky. It seemed he complimented me but at the same time mocked me. Inuyasha I could tell just looking into his heated brown eyes, something inside he was hiding and I knew I'd eventually figure it out someday. He seemed like an interesting character, and we both seemed to stand out more than anymore. His silver white hair, was enough to say he was different and his attitude made it sound like he hated every human being except himself. There was no trust, only hate and pleasured anger he gave off. My eyes just narrowed, how the hell could he say there was no reason that girls should fight? We have a lot more problems to deal with than men. To me, they seemed to have to easy going for them, and they never had an ounce a guilt in their bodies and my father proved that.
He truly disgusted me, and his attitude was enough to drive you up the wall and back again. My black hair was all thrown out of place from getting thrown around, and I had no clue why I had to prove anything or speak to him what was on my mind when it was completely useless. "Listen Inuyasha, we have a good reason to fight. For myself, I needed to come here and you don't know the half of my life alright? So why don't you just butt out of my business, obviously your too thick headed to realize anything."
My heart just jumped to my throat; I don't even know why I lead him to believe something was wrong with my life and just by my tone of voice he could tell there was.
He had a lot of attitude, and his eyes had hate written all over them.
We had been fighting each other for basically the whole class, and we already saw the other classmates rushing for their bags and their clothing hung on the small racks. I just ripped the elastic out of my hair, letting it down which felt a lot comfortable for me. The instructor was already out of the class, probably getting a drink ready to head home to his own loving family. Inuyasha viciously grabbed his black coat off of the rack, watching me walk ahead of him. "Try me...." It sounded like he gotten a thrill out of life if someone else was worst than his. It made him happier to know his life wasn't the gaping whole he thought it was. I quickly tied the jacket, the ones with the mysterious holes that I had received from my father. I could taste and smell the nasty stench of the city, it wasn't anything pleasant. You could taste the exhaust in your mouth and it was revolting even to have taste of it. The huge buildings towered over the streets, seeing the lights illuminating all the windows you could see from the distance. My eyes glanced over at the bus shelter, and noticed the young girls were gone. I could only wonder if they actually made it home, or if crazy people of the city decided to give them a detour?
My head just bowed down from the smoke and smog, trying to gain any fresh air I possibly could. Inuyasha was walking steadily beside me, copying every beat and every footstep I made. "Inuyasha it's none of your business. It isn't anybody's business alright!? So just lay off!" My voice was stern and hateful; just like it always sounded. Even when I talked to just people, they thought their was always something wrong and there always is. Inuyasha finally disappeared from my side, feeling the tension inside me disappear. Finally I could actually breathe, without the world asking me so many stupid personal questions. My head was aching, and my heart was pounding. I hated walking down into the quiet vague streets, and only street lights lit the way. I sometimes wish I could call my father and ask him to drive me home and be safe, but I knew he'd never do me that favor. He probably be too intoxicated to even drive in a straight line, let alone take me home. I didn't even want to go home. I had to. It was my place with a roof over my head, and food in my stomach. I knew once I had a good job and money, I'd step my foot right out the door and never dare return. "Why did he insist of understanding my life!? He wouldn't care anyways, he'd probably try to hurt me any way he possibility could. Calling me weak and pathetic. How am I weak when I have to deal with an abusive, intoxicated father? Also dealing that my own father killed my mother. If anyone else had this problem they probably couldn't stand it, and go out of their right minds. I don't know it's important for him. He won't learn the half of it. I won't let him."
My violet eyes gazed at the darken street, feeling the cold chill of fall get to me. The park looked eerier than ever; the swings creaked with every gentle sway noticing the huge school still standing. My life wasn't ordinary and I knew that well enough. I didn't seem good enough for anyone, and I knew now nobody was good enough to me. I'd wake up and face my father's rampage, trying to keep myself sane. Even that was a hard enough task when you've known this hell all your life. Travel to school to get the same laughter same hate, out of all the teenagers that didn't even have a heart or a brain in their head. Come home, and face my father again. Fall asleep, and wish you'd never wake up to see the light of day. There was never an ounce of happiness, and when there was something had to ruin it. I heard footsteps dashing behind me; heavily pulling and pushing it's self along sounding out of breath enough as it was. There it was; Inuyasha trailing behind me wondering why the hell he'd be stalking me all this time.
"Inuyasha, why you think you have the right to insult me, and stalk me? You gonna try to find my place and see if I'm living in hell?" I thought he was gone and went the other way, and by the looks of it he was just going to put more problems on my shoulders. His white hair looked silver underneath the flashing street lights. He was someone else who stood amongst the crowd, and I was glad I wasn't the only one who did. Maybe I wasn't an outsider I thought. Inuyasha's brown cunning eyes shot right through me, hearing his rusty, fiery attitude fire directly at me. He seemed like he hated life enough, and didn't seem friendly either. I knew something made him hateful, and I learned I wasn't the only one with nasty problems. "Kikyo, no I decided to walk you home...." His voice sounded bitter sweet, while I could only turn my head away, I didn't need to fight with him the moment I felt calm and at ease. "Like you have a heart to do something like that. Quit following me...." My voice was strained and course, hardly could say anything in the mean, nasty tone like I usually did. He paced himself beside me, looking at the sternly, hated look on a girl's face. He acted like he never saw that expression, let alone on someone like me.
"Feh, why would I waste stalking some hideous women? I'm going to my place which is sadly down the same path as yours." I felt myself tense up, I didn't understand what game he was trying to play. "Hmm this coming from the guy who complemented on me earlier. Listen Inuyasha, why don't you just shut your mouth, I shouldn't be wasting my time on you anyways." He seemed too stubborn, and his face wringed when he heard even the tone of my voice lingering in his ears. Inuyasha was nothing but an asshole to me at first; it seemed he couldn't trust anyone let alone be nice in general. I learned to understand Inuyasha, and knew underneath all he was, was a lonely guy that had enough issues like mine. His hands flexed into fists while his feet, stepped into the puddles right beside me. "Kikyo, you always like biting people heads off? Or is that in your nature to be a wench?" Inuyasha knew what buttons press; Nothing got to me at all, but with Inuyasha it was all different. He knew how to twist and bend me the wrong way, but somehow we developed the oddest friendship that way. He wasn't no ordinary guy, and I knew something else about him drove me nuts, yet something made me have the desire to tolerate him; no matter how much he got on my nerves.
"Inuyasha listen, I've got enough problems I don't need some guy to complicate them even more." My violet eyes narrowed, watching him freeze the moment we stood on the corner just a few blocks away from my trashy street. His face looked paler in the shadows, while his silver long hair was something that was unique that I also I liked about him. Nobody I knew had hair like that, but it wasn't the hair that intrigued me, it was more of his mysterious attitude. His rough hands dully grasped my face, staring into my gray-violet eyes that made me freeze and made my heart jump into my throat and back again. I could feel his rough fingertips touch my cheeks seeing the expression on his face, that I couldn't even label. "It amazes me Kikyo, such a strong, spirited women would have problems." His rusty deepened voice sounded sincere, something I never expected to hear. It threwme off so much, I didn't know what he was doing or what was even going on around me. He still had the agitated look on his face like he hated me, yet he confused me easily. "Well wench, see you around." His voice flared into cockiness distancing himself down the long road, seeing the rain bounce directly off his shoulders.
I began to walk to my house, but with all my problems and at the pace it seemed like an hour. My heart was already jumping to my throat, seeing my white house looking like hell. I could only heavily swallow hoping I could face him without getting beaten or tormented to death. The way he looked at me, was like facing Satan or Hitler in my eyes. There was no good inside him; He had no heart, no love, and no guilt when he attempted to kill his own daughter. But here I am, knowing I'm going to suffer hell.
Sometimes I just wish, I could sleep and never wake up again.
Author's NotesSo far I think this is the longest I've written for a chapter! Hopefully you guys enjoyed it, and I thank you guys for all the reviews I received so far. Please R&R!