My hands were already grasping the floorboards tight, while I could feel his heavy weight crushing my body, practically flat as the ground beneath me. I felt like I was drowning; I could barely gather any air into my lungs, and I could feel my throat burning while gasping for air desperately. " I'm not letting him destroy me like he did my mother." I told myself again and again, seeing the reflection of me in my eyes and for once seeing no fear fled through them. For awhile I saw my face, until I began to see my mother's terrified face screaming with her hands out, with her bloody scream so fresh in my mind. My father just stared at me constantly, with his fists wrapped around my wrists and while I was determined to keep show no fear, and not be that scared little girl no matter what the cost. " Kikyo you fucking bitch." His words rolled off his lips with the sound of pleasure running through his veins, while they tightened even harder around my wrists hoping he could heard the cracks and my bones breaking underneath pressure.

" What are you going to do? Kill me like you did mom?" Something inside me was able to scream out. It didn't matter that I was kissing the disgusting floorboards, and that blood was smudged all over my face and my dark lipstick to the one side of my face. In fact, it was the dumbest thing to say when he was able to kill me. I knew he was able to, and that's what I once feared before. My eyes narrowing, waiting for his hands to crush me harder into the ground but instead, his grip was loosening feeling my lungs rush with air and my veins filled with blood again. My disgusting excuse for a father was breathing heavier, while he was completely stunned. I was surprised my words could even have such an affect on him after all, drinking and how he was this seemed like the first time he actually listened to me.

He didn't say one word to me. In his eyes, it's almost like he was struggling and realizing his own flesh and blood was his victim. Something gave me the courage to say that, and I never thought his grip would loosen; it was the complete opposite to what I was thinking.

He was acting like he saw someone else and never me. All I could do was laugh inside; the fact that his daughter, his own flesh and blood finally got through to him. He just stood over me like a shadow, while I stood my ground waiting and watching to see what he was going to do next. I'm a fool, yes I'll admit but something kicked in that gave me such victory a taste, that I had a glimpse of a chance to breathe just awhile longer.

His heavy looking eyes blood shot, stared at me longer until I saw his eyes cringe with anger and thoughts, seeing the veins in his neck bulge while the sweat beamed down hisface. " Kikyo.. You bitch. Get the hell out of here…" His voice sounded calm for a moment, almost believable that he was such a normal gentle human being. It almost fooled me that he killed my mother, but yet her grave and the fact I saw it made me remember truly what he was; a monster. A monster with no heart.

His hands just grabbed the beer bottle that laid inside my bedroom floor, and chucked it in anger while it smashing against my wall just missing my head. The beer splashed and stained the bed, while my eyes bleed with tears in hate knowing this is how my life is,and this is how it will likely end. " You'll be sorry when your own daughter is gone!" I cried out rushing for the edge of the window, while his feet pounded against the floorboards trying to get me back and continue beating me until I laid broken and beatenon the ground. His hands wrapped around my leg, while I could only fail and kick with force and feeling my head knock against the side of the wall hitting me in the temples that was enough to knock me out.

" Get the fuck off of me! Your not my fucking father anymore! A father doesn't beat their fucking kid!" I managed to yell at my loudest, through the sounds of his screaming and things smashing and falling apart. Clearly I kicked him hard enough, able to jump from the bedroom window and hitting the ground and continued running without ever looking back. All I could hear was the sound of his screaming from miles away, while my feet kept hitting the pavement and I continued running, like that scared little girl I use to be

I ran past the park, cringed when I saw the swings silently moving by themselves and remembering what almost happened to me because of my father. I could have been killed, or raped. Maybe even both. But he didn't care. He was too drunk too give a shit. I always thought smoking and drugs were bad, but now I look at drinking and every single beer bottle and just think… somebody's going to die tonight. I didn't care where I was running, or where I was going. All I knew was to keep running until I was out of mind, and out of sight.

-

" I rather sleep on the damn streets than live in that house a second longer…" I thought to myself, rushing past all the pretty houses that were particularly quiet and partly lit throughout the night. My violet eyes widened when I saw the abandoned school, knowing I could sleep there for tonight. I remembered passing by girls on the streets, shivering. Pretty girls that were suffering and begging to live but yet on the verge of death. I remember walking down there, seeing there pathetic faces lurking around every corner judging us because we had so much more than they ever had. I always read about girls sleeping outside on the streets, that were dying and getting raped every day. I didn't want to become that victim again, and the school was my best bet. My home, away from home

" Fuck. Only if he was a fucking father. Only if he understood the shit he's putting on my shoulders. He can't even realize what he's doing to me anymore. One day, he will die and one day I'll be happy. He deserves to die. I can't wait until I have everything down to kick his ass. I'll be begging for him to run after me, just so I can choke him with my own bare two hands. Once I get the money, and everything I'll need I'll leave. And never coming back." My hands were already growing colder, feeling the icy wind smacking against my cheeks almost like a fist to my face. My head was already throbbing, feeling the new mark with my fingertips adding it to my collection of scars. I felt compelled to laugh. Not laughing because it was funny, laughing because this is what we've become

I just stared at the huge empty building seeing the shadow cast over me, seeing that it was once full of life and now that it was empty, like my heart. The windows were cracked open, broken with huge stones and beer bottles that surrounded the edges knowing people wanted to break into it, and wanted to cause hell and trouble near it. " Not a bad place to sleep tonight. After all, no one will be out to hurt me here. The only person that can hurt me right now. Is me." My hands grasped the edge of the building, leveling myself up to the broken windows and throwing myself into the empty building, and imagining students and kids running up and down the stairs, where I was.

" Tomorrow, I can relax knowing I'll be going to self-defensive. Then I'll see that rotten Inuyasha there. He thinks he has the worst life, that his life is worse than everybody else's. Fuck, what does he know? He looks at me like I'm a liar. When was it ever a competition to compare each other's lives to see who's worse? Than again, there's something about him. Something I can't explain. I can never trust anyone.. but it seems it possible to trust him….but why?" I kept muttering to myself, lingering around the moonlight that shone through the open window, not worried about the shadows or whatever else that was in the building. It was home to me. I just remembered his rough face, and his flaring anger written on his face and his attitude that stunned me completely. His eyes glaring at me, and his hands once around my neck.

He was nothing special. But after everything had happened to me, I felt like I could trust no living soul. But with him, something made me want to open up. Maybe the fact that I had stumbled upon someone who saw the world exactly like me. I never thought their was another human being out there that was in the same spot. Everyone else I stumbled upon rubbed it in that their lives were perfect, full of happiness. Taking my words and feelings as a joke, as though I never had any. They were the fuckers that made life much miserable, people who didn't and won't understand what it's like walking in my shoes

" Well Kikyo. This is home tonight." I told myself again and again, looking at my surroundings seeing there was nothing. It always seemed I was always by myself. Even if, my father was around. Inside I am alone. And outside it may not look that way. I placed a smile on my face when I thought about the defensive class. For once in my life it was something to look forward to, even if it was just so small and simple. " I'll be one step closer to be stronger than I am, and one step closer to freedom."

Someone who was bleeding inside and out, someone who had many problems of their own just made me feel happier knowing… at least I'm not the only one….

Author's Notes:

I know I haven't updated in awhile.. well now I can say I did! It's kind of short, but bare with me here. Please Read and review!