Chapter 12

It's Getting Even Worse

Days after the disastrous revelation, James did as Lily requested. He didn't seek after her anymore; in fat, he ignored her presence, although it hurt him to do so. And while Lily was glad that he was doing what he had told her, she still felt a pang of sadness when James hardly acknowledged her at all, even though she was the one who had asked him to do just that. Their friends watched them in dismay; this was not supposed to happen. They also began to act differently. They hardly spoke to their friends and didn't participate much in class anymore. Lily was feeling angry at James for ever doing it, and James was angry at her for telling him to leave her alone. Although they both kept their anger bottled up. That is until, during a fateful Saturday, where they let it all out.

It was a Saturday and Lily and her friends were by the lake's edge, talking. Suddenly, the Marauders arrived. They four sat near the girls and started a conversation with the girls, Lily and James determinedly not looking at each other.

Sirius, who was tired watching his friends' stupidity, said in an exasperated voice, "God, would the both of you quit it, already? Your LOVE SICKNESS is getting us all annoyed. Could you please sort your problem out already?" At once, Lily and James snapped out of their thoughts and shot a glare at him.

Something inside Lily snapped. She stood up and said, "Well, I wouldn't have a problem if someone didn't tell me how he's been lying and tricking me all year!"

James then stood up and, with a spark of anger in his eyes, said, "Well Evans, no problem would have ensued if you had just let that certain someone explain but no you had to----"

"YOU LIED AND TRICKED ME. END OF STORY!"

"BUT NO, YOU HAD TO JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS. YOU JUST HAD TO BE THE JUDGMENTAL PERSON THAT YOU ARE. YOUR DIDN'T EVEN LET ME EXPLAIN!" James shouted.

'EXPLAIN? YOU TELL ME THAT YOU WERE THAT DESPARATE TO GET ME TO LIKE YOU JUST SO YOU COULD PROVE SOMETHING AND YOU STILL WANT THE CHANCE TO EXPLAIN! YOUR UNBELEIVEABLE!"

"I GUESS I SHOULD SAY THE SAME TO YOU. WHY IS IT THAT, WHATEVER I DO, THE ONLY THING YOU PROBABLY SEE ME AS IS AN AGGORANT PRAT!" James yelled.

"BECAUSE YOU ARE!"

"YOU KNOW WHAT, EVANS? YOU ARE ALL WORKED UP TRYING TO BE PERFECT BUT I'VE GOT NEWS FOR YOU: YOU'RE NOT. NOBODY IS AND-------"

"WELL YOU THINK YOUR SO GREAT, BUT LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, POTTER: YOU ARE NOTHING MORE THAN AN IDIOTIC JERK TO ME" Lily yelled, an angry expression on her face, although she felt her heart break into pieces at every insult she and James threw at each other.

"WELL THEN," James yelled, his anger getting the best of him. He really hated what was happening, but right now, his anger clouded over his common sense. And when that happened, things did not turn out well. "YOU ON THE OTHER HAND, THINK YOU'RE SO PERFECT, SO GOOD, SO IMPORTANT. WELL GUESS WHAT? TO ME, YOU ARE NOTHING MORE THAN A WORTHLESS AND JUDGEMENTAL MUDBLOOD!"

As soon as he said that, everyone, including himself gasped. He had only said that awful word once, when he had first asked his parents what it had meant, and vowed never to say it again, and here he was willingly calling the love of his life a mudblood? Crap, what was wrong with him?

Everyone was in shock, but none more so than Lily, who had paled and was trying to take deep, even breaths to calm herself down. She just couldn't believe he had said that. And to her, none the less. What the hell was wrong with him? Was he really that hurt at what Lily had said to him?

Struggling to stop herself from crying with hurt, she said, her voice in a hurt whisper, "Is that all you thought of me? Huh? After all these years, is all that you think I am?"

Her voice pierced his heart. It would have been better if she had yelled at him; he could handle to hear the hurt in her words. "Crap, Lily, I'm sorry it just slipped out and-----"

"No, James. It's fine. At least now I know that that's what you really think of me" Lily said in the same voice. And with that, she fled.

He was going to go after her, but Sirius held a restraining hand on his shoulder and said quietly, "No James. Not now. Let her be for now"

James sat down and buried his face in his hands. "Great James. You just managed to screw up your already messed-up relationship with her. Good going" he thought sarcastically, very angry at himself.

Lily ran and ran until she reached the Head's common rooms. Saying the password quietly, she went in. She headed directly up to her bedroom. Once there, she slammed the door, flung herself on the bed, and broke down and cried.