Title: The Trouble of Author.
Written By Radar Hunnihawk.
Notes….Challenged to write this by Hawkeyecat. My first attempt at this particular fandom so please constructive feedback would be appreciated. In fact Gets on knees begging really appreciated please. Unbeta'ed, hopefully it will not be too bad.
Rating: Oh Abut PG: 13.
To say that Arthur Dent was having a bad week was an understatement. It had started off with him awakening to a hangover on Thursday and things had rapidly been going down hill ever since. That is to say the least after all one does not wake up to expect your house being scheduled to be demolished, let alone your home planet, to be force read vogon poetry… (The second worst poetry in the world, even a Vogons own Granny couldn't stand to listen to it, that's if said Vogan hadn't sold his own Granny first!) Only to be thrown out into space and being rescued milliseconds before certain death. The being rescued part was kind of nice, until Arthur realised three very important things. One of his rescuers was a former crush that he could never forget even if he wanted to, the other of his rescuers had two heads, and the Ship had NO TEA. The third realisation was the most disastrous for the carbon based six foot two ape descendent from England, Earth. After all it is well known that English people drink a lot of tea. In fact if tea drinking was an Olympic event then it's the one event England could be guaranteed a gold medal in. However as it is not and the UK is actually doing okay Olympic wise of late we shall swiftly move back to Arthur.
Arthur's hangover headache had continued throughout the weeks events. Zaphoids heads had finally stopped arguing with each other long enough to as Marvin the Paranoid Android to show Arthur to his room. Now Arthur was gratefully laying down with the hum of the ships engines for company still wanting a cup of tea. The sudden thought occurred to him, suddenly as sudden thoughts tend to do, of "Why did Ford decide to save me?" Such thoughts about Ford often occurred to Arthur, which normally lead to even bigger headaches and confusion. However this time his thoughts would have an answer. Ford had been stood in the doorway watching Arthur for the last few minutes. So far Arthur hadn't done anything more interesting that argue with the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation Nutrimatic Machines about why anyone would want to drink boiled leaves. Arthur had then given up resorted to hitting it with one of his slippers. However even that had brought a smile to Fords face. If he had planned properly he probably would have brought some tea along with him, however he didn't really have time, what with the Vogons intent on blowing up the Earth. Instead Ford now had to try and take Arthur's mind of the very long week's events and Ford definitely had a plan to do just that.
"Arthur" Ford started
Arthur sighed. "Yes Ford." he responded wearily.
"Just checking your still with us."
"Unfortunately I can't really go home." Arthur responded in a matter of fact tone of voice.
"Ah yes. Sorry about your planet"
"Two words, my planet has been reduced to two words."
"Actually I did find another mention of it in the guide." Ford said tossing the guide to Arthur. This seemed to cheer Arthur up slightly.
"Look under fan fiction." He instructed.
"Fan fiction. As in those appalling stories started by Star trek fans."
"Actually the vogons first created it" Ford said with a shrug. Athor having by now having found the right entry in the guide began to read.
The Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy has this to say about fan fiction.
Entering the world of fan fiction is best avoided for the vast majority of writers. These writers tend to produce characters such as Mary sues and Gary stus completely change cannon for their own purposes and put characters together that never should be put together. These writers generally tend to be teenage girls, whom insert themselves into their own stories. Heaven knows why?
Fan fiction is so simple even a child can understand the concept, basically fans of a certain show, group, book or film write fiction around characters and plots in there chosen fandom. Whilst the vogons created this phenomenon the people of earth have expanded these creating terms such as Het, Slash, plot what plot and comfort/hurt.
"Hum, most of that is self explanatory but what the devil is slash?" Arthur mused out loud.
"Oh please allow me to demonstrate."
Arthur had a feeling his general state of bamboozlement was going to become even more confused. Before he could voice this however Ford had taken Arthur's face in his hands and kissed him. Let's just say Arthur did not complain about the lack of tea for a while and leave it at that!