Stupid Stupid! I am the stupidest person on earth. What normal person would trip from looking back? And in front of everyone while receiving your diploma! I punched my pillow over and over, crying and shouting at myself.
Knock knock. "Natalie?" someone called.
"What?" I yelled back
"Are you alright?" my mother asked, "we could talk…"
"NO!" I yelled, "I DON'T WANT TO TALK! LEAVE ME ALONE!" I fell back into my pillow, hugged it tight and cried harder.
"honey," my mom started, but I broke her off.
"just… just LEAVE ME ALONE! PLEASE! I just want to be by myself!" I cried.
With a sigh, my mother replied, "alright," and left. I laid on my pillow and faced the door. I watched as her shadow disappeared from the door at the crack beneath it. Then I stopped crying and listened carefully as I heard her footsteps going down the stairs. I turned to face the window, head still on the pillow, but now my crying lessened to sniffles. I stared outside, looking at the dark sky. It had only been 2 hours since I humiliated myself in front of everyone.
But it is not my fault. No. If I were to blame someone, I should blame it on Leslie. And Jannie. But most of all, on Pamela. If they had not teased me, provoked me, I wouldn't be in this situation. I would have happily graduated, with my parents clapping hard and hugging me because they were so proud. But no. I'm the bullied girl. I'm the girl they teased.
It's because I'm a Geek; a Loser. I repeated the same words over and over again in my head. That's right. Just as Leslie had said during the ceremony. I'm a Geek and a Loser. If I was not, I wouldn't be bullied. It's because I'm a damn geek. I'm a damn LOSER!
Anger filled me. I could feel My face growing hot. I clenched my fist and smashed my pillow hard. Reality finally dawned on me, still repeating those same two words; Geek, Loser.
From now on, I don't want any of those two words to come out of anyone's mouth about me. NO ONE. Because from this day forth, I shall no longer be the Loser.