Chapter Four: Mourning the Dead
"Are you sure you don't want to go?" Shigure asked Kyou and I for the umpteenth time while forcing his arm into the sleeve of his coat with his black suit underneath.
I glanced across the table to look at Kyou's expressionless features and shook my head at my other cousin. "No Shigure, we'll just stay here."
"All right then. I should be back before it gets too late and then we'll order take-out." Shigure sighed and left the still house.
Today… it was the day scheduled for Tohru's funeral and it was being held soon. All those who knew her—were touched by her kindness, were attending except for Kyou and I. Believe me, I would go, but Kyou didn't want to and I certainly didn't want to leave him by himself just in case he decided to do something… drastic. A couple of days ago, when Kyou insisted on having his memories erased, Kazuma came by to cheer up Kyou but Kyou flat out refused to see him. And now we were running low on ideas of how to comfort Kyou…
So here we were…
The two of us…
Alone…
Not speaking to each other.
"Do you think we should watch TV?" I asked kindly in hopes to take Kyou's mind off of Tohru.
"No…" Kyou grumbled quietly.
Another long pause…
"I'm a little hungry right now, how about you?" I asked, even though I wouldn't know what to cook because I can't cook… sadly.
"No…" Kyou sighed and then lay down on the floor with his back to me.
Yet another long pause…
"Ah screw this!" Kyou sat up abruptly and started walking out of the room. "I'm going to bed."
"But it's only four in the afternoon." I pointed out after glancing at the clock.
"I don't give a damn!" Kyou shouted and slammed his door shut, making me flinch.
For a long time I sat in the tearoom by myself, feeling guilty for not being able to help Kyou. If I were to lose Kyou… I'd be in the same situation… and of course Hatsuharu would try and be there for me. But what would I want Haru to do to make me feel better?
I pondered this for who knows how long, not being able to come up with any answers except for the fact that I'd want Haru to let me die and be with Kyou again…
But there's got to be something I can do! I don't want Kyou to die on me…
"Just be there for him."
Haru's advice reiterated itself in my mind and I stood up from the table. I walked up the stairs delicately so as not to make too much noise and alarm Kyou or something. Within seconds I stood before his door and rapped on the wooden surface quietly. There came no response and at first I thought it was because I had been too soft, so I knocked again louder. There was still no answer and I was getting worried. Hoping Kyou wouldn't kill me later for this, I entered his room without permission and to my relief I saw him curled up in bed asleep.
Smiling inwardly, I took a moment to look over the relaxed expression on Kyou's face and dwell on how tense Kyou was on a regular basis. Having admired Kyou's still form long enough, I turned to leave when a sudden movement out of the corner of my eye made me turn back. That previously calm and relaxed face was now contorted with frustration as Kyou violently thrashed in his sleep.
"Kyou!" I exclaimed and ran to his bedside.
"No! Tohru!" Kyou called out in his nightmares.
"Kyou!" I shook him by the shoulders but he wouldn't stir from his dreams.
"Just be there for him."
Without a second thought, I wrapped my arms around Kyou's shoulders and held him close. Not long afterwards, Kyou stopped talking in his sleep and thrashing to escape from my grip. Running a hand through Kyou's orange hair I rocked the two of us slightly and just focused on Kyou's steady breathing against me.
Now that I think about it… the two of us are very similar when it comes to love…
We've both lost.
The love I couldn't win and the love he couldn't protect…
But this moment, with Kyou in my arms sleeping, it made me feel so at peace and content for the first time in a while. And it wasn't long before I fell asleep, too.
TO BE CONTINUED