Disclaimer: I don't own anything in One Tree Hill.

Pain.

The one constant in her always-altering life. The one thing that had always remained. The one thing tat will always remain. Never changing, never leaving. Happiness? What the fuck was that? She had only heard of such a word, only seen it when she had gazed at her two best friends, Nathan and Haley, but never had she felt it. Or, maybe she has, but was too overwhelmed by the pain swirling around her to remember. But, maybe it was better not recalling something that she will never encompass for a long period of time. Whenever a small wave of happiness reaches her, a larger stronger wave is always waiting to wash it away. It was useless reallyhoping, believing, trusting…thinking.

She eyed the bottle carefully, watching it lay on the sand innocently. Heh, innocent. That's what it wanted her to believe, the damn thing. She fell for it too a while back; the innocent thing seemed to get to her. The look, the damn look; she could swear he looked at her the same way. And, she had fallen for it over and over and over. Not this time, though. She wasn't going to let it get to her; she wasn't going to let him get to her. He had taken so many things away from her; her confidence, her wall, her heart; it wasn't going to happen again. Snatching the bottle up from the sand, she quickly opened it while pulling a dollar bill out at the same time.

If you're really not going to let him get to you, why are you taking it now?

Damn her thoughts. Why did she have to think all the time? She wished she was drunk now; just like she had been a while back. She wouldn't care then; she wouldn't stop to contemplate what she was doing. She would just do it…

FLASHBACK

Nothing mattered anymore. It was all gone for the night. Kind of. She could still see his face in front of her; no matter how much she drank, he was still there. Another gulp, another memory. That's how it worked. But, there had to be a point when everything faded away, like it was supposed to. He couldn't stay there forever; right?

"Looks like you're trying to forget something."

Peyton ignored the voice; no one could tell what she was trying to do. Another gulp. She could sense her companion smirk, but she chose to ignore it. She was too wasted to respond fully anyway.

"What if I told you I could help you?"

"Not like i haven't heard that before," Peyton replied, almost sounding sober. "Never worked."

"What if I told you this would work?"

"Then, I would say you're dellusional; if alcohol doesn't work, nothing"

She stopped, staring at the container right under her nose.

"Trust me; this works."

Too curious and too drunk to question anything at that moment, she grabbed the container and carelessly open it. A sniff. An addiction. A near-death situation. All because of him.

END FLASHBACK

By taking it, doesn't it mean you are letting him get to you, just like old times?

"No!"

Her reaction was quick, almost instantaneous. The faint whisper of the waves died down, as if they too were focused on the screaming teenager before them. A smash, a wince, a puddle. That's all it took. She could resist him, she could resist anything. Leaving a red residue on her jeans as she wiped her hand, she collasped on the sand, exhausted. Her palm still was still stinging, but she was too overwhelmed to care.

Happy? No, she wasn't happy. She never will be, she supposed. But, at the moment, she was fine. And, she didn't need him or a substance to make her fine. She could do it herself; she could take care of herself, the way it was supposed to be.

That was kind of short. Sorry it took so long…I was being lazy as usual.

The title comes from Falling Down by Travis.