CSI: HAWAIIAN VACATION
Chapter 19
"Gil, what are you doing?" Catherine sighed, walking down the stairs.
When she reached the bottom, Grissom looked at her a moment, then went on flipping through channels.
"Gil? You should be in there with Sara. She needs you."
"She's asleep, there's nothing I can do for her."
Grissom brought his sock clad feet down from the coffee table and reached for a small glass.
Catherine walked over to the TV and pressed the off button and turned around to see Grissom sitting there, a surprised look on his face, the glass a few inches from his lips.
Sitting down in the leather chair across from him, she brought her legs up and held them close to her body.
"Why are you out here? You should be in there....taking care of Sara. I mean....yeah, there's nothing much you can do, but she's so weak that if she wakes up and needs a drink or something what's she gonna do?"
"I check on her every now and then."
Catherine didn't find his behavior funny anymore and in a quick motion brought her feet down on the floor and walked over and grabbed the glass out of his hand and slammed it down, hard, on the table.
"Dammit Grissom! What the hell is wrong with you?"
Grissom sat there, stunned again, wondering himself what was wrong with him.
Two hours before he had sat on the edge of her bed, kissing her hand, saying he'd take care of her, and now here he was, hiding away from her again, drinking.
Catherine still stood above him. Hands on her hips, waiting for a response.
When none came she sunk down on the couch, defeated in trying to understand this man she called friend.
"Grissom, I know this is very hard. I know your beating yourself up for not being there when Sara was getting the crap beat out of her, but that's in the past. If anyone's to blame it's me, because I was supposed to stay with her, so something like this wouldn't happen. You made a promise that is impossible to keep. Instead of sitting here, beating yourself up, hating yourself, drinking...you should be in there taking care of her. She needs you... and you need her."
Grissom quickly turned his head to stare at Catherine.
"I saw you Gil. I saw you through the window of the hospital room. You kissed her hand." Catherine smiled.
"You don't know how happy that would have made her if she'd been awake to see it. And now, you have the chance to go in that room and take care of her. To comfort her and show your love. I know you love her.... just like I know she loves you. Stop stalling, stop waiting and go do what you need to do. Besides loving her, you need to be a friend, she needs to be able to trust you again, because I know she wants to, and she wants your confidence in her too."
Catherine took a deep breath and smiled at him a moment, hoping to give him some bit of courage.
She looked away and slowly stood and turned to leave, but suddenly turned back.
Taking a step back she put her hand on his shoulder.
"Goodnight Gil."
She then turned and walked to the stairs and disappeared up the steps.
Grissom sat staring after, taking in her words and trying to process them.
~Why am I doing this? Why am I sitting out her on my ass? For a Genius I sure am a dumbass when it comes to taking care of the one person I love more than anything.~
Grissom quickly stood and walked towards the door if his and Sara's bedroom.
He put his hand on the knob and took a deep breath.
~No more hesitating, take care of her, befriend her, love her.~
He opened the door and looked in. She lay, sleeping soundly in the middle of the bed. She was covered up, once again her casted hand was hidden beneath the blankets and her right hand lay above the blankets.
Grissom stepped in and shut the door behind him and walked over to the bed and sat down.
Her hand was balled into a fist and looked as if it would explode from the pressure. Grissom carefully reached out and touched her hand, hoping that she wouldn't suddenly wake up and punch him. Relieved that her hand unclenched a bit he set his hand over hers and lightly brushed her skin with his thumb.
He looked up from her hand to her face. It seemed to be contorted in fear her eyes were shut tight and her lips were trembling slightly.
Before Grissom could stop himself he whispered softly, "Sara. Sara honey it's okay.... wake up."
He saw her lips move slightly and her face scrunch up more, her mouth opened a bit and she let out a soft cry of fear and a tear escaped down her cheek.
Grissom quickly moved up on the bed and moved to her and touched her shoulder trying to wake her.
He reached up with his other hand and brushed the tear away with his thumb. Sara's eyes quickly opened and she almost screamed sensing someone's hand on her face.
But she found that the person's touch was soft and caring. Her eyes clamped shut a moment and then she opened them to see blue eyes staring into hers.
She felt a cry choke up in her throat and couldn't hold back the tears. Her dream was so horrible and she wished it would all go away, as more tears streamed down her cheeks she found Grissom softly pulling her up and putting his arms around her.
Her head lay on his shoulder and she could smell his strong, sweet scent. All these years she had wished to feel his arms around her and now that they were, she couldn't focus on him, but on the pain she felt in the back of her head and in her body. She cringed, hating that she would have to pull back, but couldn't stand the pain any longer and pulled back and lay down slowly on the bed her head making contact with the pillow, making the room stop spinning.
She closed her eyes, hating that it took something like this to make Grissom make a move to her, yet in some sick way, glad that he was now paying attention to her. Amazing the price to get a look from him.
Maybe he'd show a bit more emotion and act as if he cared. It seemed to be that way at the moment, but when she was well again, would he turn back away from her and leave her alone. She didn't think she'd be able to take it and quickly made up her mind that she wouldn't allow herself to get used to his caring and kindness. She didn't want to get used to the feel of his arms around her, because then it would be too hard to go on knowing that she'd never feel them again.
She opened her eyes at the feel of his hand brushing her dark hair back from her face and brought her right hand up and grabbed his and pulled it back from her face.
For a moment, time seemed to freeze and she longed for the chance to linger in the feel of the softness of his hand in her gasp, but before she could convince herself that this was what she wanted more than anything, she quickly let go and felt his hand drop to the bed.
She looked up at his face to see that his bright eyes the moment before, were now clouded with hurt. At once she felt like crying and then laughing. He now knew the pain. The emotional pain that had been inflicted upon her when she knew that the slightest touch of her hand would make him reel and move away. Now he knew how she felt, but instead of being happy about it, it was tearing her apart and now she wished more than anything to feel the softness of his hand on her cheek again.
Chapter 19
"Gil, what are you doing?" Catherine sighed, walking down the stairs.
When she reached the bottom, Grissom looked at her a moment, then went on flipping through channels.
"Gil? You should be in there with Sara. She needs you."
"She's asleep, there's nothing I can do for her."
Grissom brought his sock clad feet down from the coffee table and reached for a small glass.
Catherine walked over to the TV and pressed the off button and turned around to see Grissom sitting there, a surprised look on his face, the glass a few inches from his lips.
Sitting down in the leather chair across from him, she brought her legs up and held them close to her body.
"Why are you out here? You should be in there....taking care of Sara. I mean....yeah, there's nothing much you can do, but she's so weak that if she wakes up and needs a drink or something what's she gonna do?"
"I check on her every now and then."
Catherine didn't find his behavior funny anymore and in a quick motion brought her feet down on the floor and walked over and grabbed the glass out of his hand and slammed it down, hard, on the table.
"Dammit Grissom! What the hell is wrong with you?"
Grissom sat there, stunned again, wondering himself what was wrong with him.
Two hours before he had sat on the edge of her bed, kissing her hand, saying he'd take care of her, and now here he was, hiding away from her again, drinking.
Catherine still stood above him. Hands on her hips, waiting for a response.
When none came she sunk down on the couch, defeated in trying to understand this man she called friend.
"Grissom, I know this is very hard. I know your beating yourself up for not being there when Sara was getting the crap beat out of her, but that's in the past. If anyone's to blame it's me, because I was supposed to stay with her, so something like this wouldn't happen. You made a promise that is impossible to keep. Instead of sitting here, beating yourself up, hating yourself, drinking...you should be in there taking care of her. She needs you... and you need her."
Grissom quickly turned his head to stare at Catherine.
"I saw you Gil. I saw you through the window of the hospital room. You kissed her hand." Catherine smiled.
"You don't know how happy that would have made her if she'd been awake to see it. And now, you have the chance to go in that room and take care of her. To comfort her and show your love. I know you love her.... just like I know she loves you. Stop stalling, stop waiting and go do what you need to do. Besides loving her, you need to be a friend, she needs to be able to trust you again, because I know she wants to, and she wants your confidence in her too."
Catherine took a deep breath and smiled at him a moment, hoping to give him some bit of courage.
She looked away and slowly stood and turned to leave, but suddenly turned back.
Taking a step back she put her hand on his shoulder.
"Goodnight Gil."
She then turned and walked to the stairs and disappeared up the steps.
Grissom sat staring after, taking in her words and trying to process them.
~Why am I doing this? Why am I sitting out her on my ass? For a Genius I sure am a dumbass when it comes to taking care of the one person I love more than anything.~
Grissom quickly stood and walked towards the door if his and Sara's bedroom.
He put his hand on the knob and took a deep breath.
~No more hesitating, take care of her, befriend her, love her.~
He opened the door and looked in. She lay, sleeping soundly in the middle of the bed. She was covered up, once again her casted hand was hidden beneath the blankets and her right hand lay above the blankets.
Grissom stepped in and shut the door behind him and walked over to the bed and sat down.
Her hand was balled into a fist and looked as if it would explode from the pressure. Grissom carefully reached out and touched her hand, hoping that she wouldn't suddenly wake up and punch him. Relieved that her hand unclenched a bit he set his hand over hers and lightly brushed her skin with his thumb.
He looked up from her hand to her face. It seemed to be contorted in fear her eyes were shut tight and her lips were trembling slightly.
Before Grissom could stop himself he whispered softly, "Sara. Sara honey it's okay.... wake up."
He saw her lips move slightly and her face scrunch up more, her mouth opened a bit and she let out a soft cry of fear and a tear escaped down her cheek.
Grissom quickly moved up on the bed and moved to her and touched her shoulder trying to wake her.
He reached up with his other hand and brushed the tear away with his thumb. Sara's eyes quickly opened and she almost screamed sensing someone's hand on her face.
But she found that the person's touch was soft and caring. Her eyes clamped shut a moment and then she opened them to see blue eyes staring into hers.
She felt a cry choke up in her throat and couldn't hold back the tears. Her dream was so horrible and she wished it would all go away, as more tears streamed down her cheeks she found Grissom softly pulling her up and putting his arms around her.
Her head lay on his shoulder and she could smell his strong, sweet scent. All these years she had wished to feel his arms around her and now that they were, she couldn't focus on him, but on the pain she felt in the back of her head and in her body. She cringed, hating that she would have to pull back, but couldn't stand the pain any longer and pulled back and lay down slowly on the bed her head making contact with the pillow, making the room stop spinning.
She closed her eyes, hating that it took something like this to make Grissom make a move to her, yet in some sick way, glad that he was now paying attention to her. Amazing the price to get a look from him.
Maybe he'd show a bit more emotion and act as if he cared. It seemed to be that way at the moment, but when she was well again, would he turn back away from her and leave her alone. She didn't think she'd be able to take it and quickly made up her mind that she wouldn't allow herself to get used to his caring and kindness. She didn't want to get used to the feel of his arms around her, because then it would be too hard to go on knowing that she'd never feel them again.
She opened her eyes at the feel of his hand brushing her dark hair back from her face and brought her right hand up and grabbed his and pulled it back from her face.
For a moment, time seemed to freeze and she longed for the chance to linger in the feel of the softness of his hand in her gasp, but before she could convince herself that this was what she wanted more than anything, she quickly let go and felt his hand drop to the bed.
She looked up at his face to see that his bright eyes the moment before, were now clouded with hurt. At once she felt like crying and then laughing. He now knew the pain. The emotional pain that had been inflicted upon her when she knew that the slightest touch of her hand would make him reel and move away. Now he knew how she felt, but instead of being happy about it, it was tearing her apart and now she wished more than anything to feel the softness of his hand on her cheek again.