LaShawn quietly pushed open the window and slipped out onto the fire escape. She slid back against the brick wall, cradled her knees in her arms, and began to cry. LaShawn didn't come out here very often - just when she needed to be really alone. Even though she was outside, in the middle of New York, it seemed like nobody could see her there in the alley. She felt she could cry all she wanted, and no one would bother her. As it turns out, she was wrong.
"Hey - you OK?"
LaShawn jerked her head up and looked around. She wasn't sure where the voice came from, but she was pretty sure it was directed at her.
"You OK?" it asked again.
Pretty sure the voice came from below, LaShawn looked down through the grating of the fire escape. "Who's that?" she asked, quietly.
"Nobody," it responded. "Just seeing if you're OK."
LaShawn put her head back down on her arms. "What do you care?" she muttered.
There was a pause, then the voice said, "So I guess you're fine."
"I'm just...ugly, OK?" LaShawn started crying again.
A small laugh came up from below. "Ugly? You don't know what ugly is."
Even though LaShawn didn't really feel ugly, she was indignant at that response. "Do so."
"You're not ugly."
LaShawn stopped crying and glanced down at her clothes. She was wearing an oversize pink shirt and striped sweat pants. She snorted. "You sayin' I'm pretty?"
"Well, I don't know about pretty. But you sure ain't ugly."
"How do you know?"
"Trust me - I know ugly."
Despite herself, LaShawn found herself interested. "How do you know?"
"'cause I'm ugly."
Again, LaShawn lifted her head and peered down through the grating. "I can't see you."
"And that's a good thing, 'cause I'm ugly." LaShawn smiled a bit at that.
"What's your name?" the voice asked.
"What's yours?" LaShawn demanded.
"Raphael. But you can call me Raph if you want."
"Raph?" she repeated.
"Yeah, Ugly name for an ugly guy."
LaShawn smiled a bit. She liked this guy. He sort of made fun of himself, but he seemed to be...comfortable with it. "LaShawn."
"LaShawn," repeated Raphael.
"Yeah - dumb, huh?"
"Well, it's better'n Raphael. Look, I gotta motor. You take care of yourself, LaShawn, OK?"
LaShawn answered, "Yeah, OK," without really thinking. She looked down, hoping to catch a glimpse of Raphael as he walked off. She heard a slight rustling sound, but didn't see anything.
After about a minute of waiting, she said, "Raph?" No one answered. LaShawn breathed a heavy sigh, wiped her face, and crawled back in through the window, shutting it behind her.
For the next several nights, LaShawn crawled back out onto the fire escape for a bit. She wasn't really sure why - there was no reason for this Raph guy to return - but she found him interesting, and wanted to talk to him again. And even though she didn't see him, it still helped take her mind off of things.
It had almost been a week since she'd heard him. LaShawn started asking herself if she was being silly, when she heard the voice again.
"LaShawn?" it said, again from below.
Even though she had been hoping to hear from him again, his voice still took her by surprise. She leapt up slightly, then peered down through the catwalk. "Raph?"
"Hey, you remembered my name - cool."
She couldn't spot him, but she answered him anyway. "Yeah, I was wonderin' if you were...y'know, gonna come back."
"Well, I'm only up this way about once a week. How you doin'? Everything OK?"
LaShawn frowned. She had been hoping to talk to this guy to help take her mind off things, not to discuss them. "I guess," she said gloomily.
"You don't sound OK," Raph pointed out. "You sure?"
"Doesn't matter," she said, pouting.
"You don't still think you're ugly, do ya?"
"Everyone thinks I am."
"I don't. And I'm somebody," pointed out Raphael. "Who says you're ugly?"
LaShawn shrugged and mumbled, "Some kids at school."
"Well, they don't know ugly. I know ugly."
"Yeah, right."
"No, really. Look down behind you."
LaShawn, curious, peeked back over the railing. Suddenly she saw a green face peeking up at her, smiling. LaShawn look horrified, and the face grinned larger.
"Now who's ugly?" it demanded.
LaShawn forced herself to look away. "I guess...you," she said quietly.
She heard his voice coming back up from below. "Told you." Raphael sighed and tried to think of some wisdom from Splinter he could pass along. "Look, LaShawn, it don't matter what these kids are sayin'. You shouldn't listen to 'em anyway. Well, you do need to listen, but not to the words. You gotta find what's behind 'em." He paused and thought for a second. "Look, you're better'n some of other kids at stuff, right?"
"No," she said glumly.
"C'mon. You're probably better at...reading than some kids, and...you can run faster than some of 'em, and stuff."
"Maybe. So?"
"So?" repeated Raphael. "Do you go around telling all them you're better'n they are? Do you tell the slow ones 'I can run faster'n you'?"
"No..."
"See? That's because you don't hafta tell them. So the kids that're sayin' you're ugly...even if they think you're ugly, why you think they're telling ya that? Not because they think you're ugly..."
LaShawn set her teeth, and put her head in her hands. "Cause they're mean."
"You got it. You see? You're not ugly - they're just bein' mean. The only way they can make themselves feel good about themselves is by making you feel horrible about you."
"How you know?" LaShawn asked suspiciously.
Raphael paused before admitting, "Well, I'm kinda more familiar with this topic than I wanna be. But listen. Next time, they're makin' fun of ya, you just think of two things, OK? First, think of my face, and remember that these kids don't know what ugliness is. And second..." Suddenly, Raphael broke off.
LaShawn waited for a second, then asked, "What's second?"
"Sh!" The hush came so loud, and so quickly, that she started wondering what she had done wrong. But almost immediately afterward, she heard footsteps in the alleyway. She looked down the way, and saw a man running from the far side, carrying something under his arm. She heard some indistinct shouts from far away as well. Just as the man ran below her, she saw Raphael drop off the fire escape onto his back. He wrestled with the man for a bit, then stood up, holding a purse in his hand. Raphael looked back up at LaShawn and smiled. "Looks like I got something to return. I'll see you later, K?"
LaShawn watched as he ran back up the alley, at an utter loss for words. She looked down at the man, who was barely moving, and holding his head. He must have stolen some lady's purse...and Raphael stopped him! LaShawn smiled. This guy might be ugly, but he's cool. She crawled back into her bedroom and shut the window behind her.