Chapter Three: Memories of Loss.

Riku's skin was a pallid white and his half open eyes were glazed, his breathing was labored and his heartbeat was erratic. He looked almost dead to his friends who stood around him at a loss for what to do. Kairi had placed a damp towel on his forehead and Yuffie had covered him with a blanket, but they could think of nothing else they could do until he woke up.

A few hours later something happened that drove them all into a state of panic; Riku stopped breathing. Leon, sitting on the edge of the couch next to him noticed that Riku's chest had stopped moving and he frantically leapt up, ready to try anything to save his friend.

Propping a pillow under Riku's neck, Leon tilted his head back and opened his mouth. Pinching his nose shut and barely hesitating, the dark haired warrior clamped his lips on Riku's and with a deep exhalation, pumped air into his lungs. With each inhale and exhale, Leon tried to impart into the still form of Riku, some of his own life force. There was no way he was going to let the silver haired boy go without a fight.

'Breathe goddamit Riku, breathe.' He panted between breaths. 'Live for us, we're here and we will find Sora, so bloody well live.'

He was dimly aware of Kairi and Yuffie holding each other and sobbing, but they seemed detached from his world. All that filled his mind was the deathly form of Riku lying beneath him, and the stillness of his lungs. He breathed harder and pushed his clenched fists into Riku's chest. He just had to force the boy to breath. Fuck, he just couldn't lose another one of his friends.

Rinoa…
Her eyes were clouding over. This couldn't be happening. Not after all they had been through together. After all the hard times, happiness had been so short…
He could remember tears, flowing like they would never stop. He never cried. His pain stayed inside. But never his pain for her. It hurt too much…
Seifer…
Standing over his dark haired angel. Watching cruelly as her life's blood flowed from her open throat. Laughing at her pain. But never at mine. I know he cared. So much that he would kill the one I loved. I remember his anguished laughing eyes…Oh god, not Riku too…

Ages passed. Years, but it was only moments that passed by. A rasping breath broke the absolute silence of the fearful room, drawing gasps of relief from everyone's throats. Riku's eyes were still in that uncanny half open state, but he was once again breathing and his skin was turning from a dead white to a pale, pale pink.

xxx

Kairi let out a strangled sob and ran to Riku's side. Falling to her knees she gently took the boy's head in her hands. She started stroking his face and murmuring nonsense words of soothing and calm. She had tried to hide her feelings ever since Riku had returned from the darkness of Kingdom Hearts, but now her heart was exposed for everyone to see; though at this time no one noticed the heartsick love of a young girl.

She remembered him back then, before the darkness had taken hold.
Sparkling green eyes… The laughter as he talked to her, 'You're as lazy as he is.'
He sounded so warm, 'Kairi thanks.' And all she had done was land on his island. He couldn't know the impression his lazy comments had on her.
God, they could see into the depths of her soul; those jade, all knowing orbs. That was before. Before hell had been unleashed on the worlds…
Since he had come back from the shadows, she could see the hell in his eyes. The shadows still hid there. She missed his carefree smile. He never smiled anymore.
Now, after the heartless stole Sora away, nothing looked out of Riku's eyes anymore. To the young girl, who looked at him with such love, he seemed to have lost his soul. He was no longer Riku. Now he was merely a slave to the life consuming drugs; and to his self-pity and self-hatred…
Oh god let him come back to me…

Yuffie gently pulled Kairi upright and together they stood, watching as Leon lifted the comatose Riku and carried him to his small room at the back of the house. He laid Riku down on his messy bed and almost tenderly, tucked the blanket in around him. Straightening up again, he turned to the girls and murmured, 'I need to stay with Cloud. One of you has to stay with Riku. We can't take the chance that something might go wrong in the night.'

Almost too quickly Kairi felt the words force themselves out of her mouth. 'I'll stay here. I'll stay with him.' Recovering quickly, and catching the look that Yuffie shot her she stammered, 'I mean, I don't want to go home alone, and I might as well stay here; in here. You have no other spare rooms, right?'

Yuffie nodded slowly, but didn't take her eyes off Kairi as the younger girl blushed deep red. For once, keeping her thoughts to herself, the ninja nodded again and said softly, 'Sure Kairi. Stay here as long as you want.' Ignoring the pissed off look from Leon she continued, 'I'm too tired for sure, to stay up and watch the druggie. What's say we talk more later in the morning, say around midday?'

She surreptitiously elbowed Leon in the ribs, forcing him to stretch a fake grin across his face and back quickly out of the door. 'Goodnight Kairi. Call me if anything happens in the night ok?'

She nodded in response but kept her face turned away from her friends, lest they see her emotions written, naked in her eyes. 'Sure Leon. And I'm sorry I was so horrible earlier. I hope I can make it up to you in the morning.'

Still backing out the door, Leon smiled again. But this time with more genuine feeling. 'Sure Kairi. And I hope you can forgive me for being such an asshole. I'll see you in the morning alright?'

xxx

As soon as he and Yuffie were out of Riku's room and safely away from Kairi's earshot, Leon exploded. 'What the hell were you thinking Yuffie? She can't stay here!' he all but shouted. 'God, I'm stressed enough having to take care of you, Cloud and Riku. But with her too? Are you asking for me to go postal? In the morning we are telling her to go home.'

Yuffie simply shook her head. 'Leon, there is no way that you are bullying me on this one. My god, her best friend was stolen away and now her only other friend almost died! Are you really that heartless? For fuck's sake, I know you must have some emotions in there, I hear you crying in the night!'

At this, Leon turned and walked silently down the hall. Ignoring Yuffie's quiet sobs, he strode down to Cloud's room and paused in front of the door to collect himself. He didn't think that his nightmares had pierced the veil between sleeping and waking, but apparently his night terrors weren't as private as he had thought. In the brief second before he opened the door to Cloud, he had to quell a surge of anger unlike any he had ever felt before. Except when he stood in front of the remorseless Seifer, next to the dying Rinoa.

xxx

Cloud sat in a haze of pain and denial. His head was full of wild thoughts and insane voices.

Your fault…Weren't there…Probably dead now…

Oh god it should be you, you in the hands of darkness. Find her, kill them, how, when, where, where, where?
Please someone, help me?

Is this what it is like to be insane?

xxx

A/N: The background of Leon and Rinoa is that they got married. In my mind, the events of VIII happened years before the Kingdom Hearts game, as did VII. Of course some of VII has changed, hence Aeris is alive, but other things (hint for future) are the same.