Hello everyone! This is my first Saiyuki fic, and I hope it isn't my last. I love the series and I hope you do too. This does contain yaoi pairing, and if you don't like it, then please proceed to another fiction. Please review, I'm open to everything. Either way, enjoy the fic. Thanks.

Pairings: Hakkai/Gojyo, Gojyo/Hakkai

Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki or any of its characters.

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The evening was cool, the fresh scent of rain still in the air. The rain always gave him an excuse to be alone, not that he minded the company of the others mind you. It was just nice to have some time to yourself sometimes. He sighed and looked up at the stars.

The stars, they were so far away, and yet shined so brightly. Ancient light reached his eyes, probably burned thousands and thousands of years ago. Amazing…

Idly he thought of how long he could keep up his light emissions. His check twitched involuntarily, they were sore from smiling too much. You'd think that over the years he would get used to it, but apparently he hadn't had much time to relax.

Every time it rained he would think of her, the woman who had caused him so much pain. No, the woman whom he had killed because he caused her so much pain. Sometimes it felt like it rained for eternity, and sometimes it felt like it was so dry that his very soul was cracking.

He sighed again. There you go again, living in the past. But how could he live in the present if the light that he basked in was created so very long ago? Alas, the time for thinking was over.

Hakkai was mentally preparing himself to go back inside when a familiar voice cut through the night air.

"You're getting sloppy 'Kai," He bent his head backwards, looking up to see his red haired friend squatting down behind him. Genuinely happy to see him, the brunette gave up a big smile.

"And good evening too you too," His eyes followed Gojyo's finger as it descended on to his head in between his eye brows. Confused he uncrossed his eyes and looked at the owner or the offending phalange.

"You," A pause, Hakkai furrowed his brow and looked at the finger again, "Think too loudly,"

"Oh ho, so now you're a mind reading ero-kappa," Hakkai laughed and grabbed his friend's hand, holding the palm above his face. He traced the lines lightly, remembering how Gojyo had done in the forest that one night.

Gojyo shivered lightly as his hand was held in Hakkai's soft ones, his nimble fingers ghosting along his calloused skin. One of the red head's fingers twitched, calling attention to it. The path slowly moved upwards to the tip of the finger.

"That tickles a bit you know," Hakkai almost jumped from the sound of the other male's voice.

"Sorry," He sheepishly let go of his captive. Gojyo moved to lay down beside the Ki master, arms folded under head. Hakkai watched him as he settled down before gazing up at the dark sky.

He was so comfortable around Gojyo, Hakkai realized as he found himself closing his eyes and basking in the starlight for a while longer. It was nice to have a friend to just be with and not fell the need to answer questions or make idle chit chat.

They sat in each other's presence for a while before Gojyo spoke.

"What do you think about after it rains?" So much for questions, thought Hakkai. Gojyo knew ok Hakkai's dark past, and it's connection to the rain. But what after the rain? It was a valid question.

"…I think of how I've lived, and the people who have lived along side me, and how I should live in the future." That about sums it. Gojyo turned on his side and looked up into sad green eyes. Ashamed of the pain swirling in the depths of his orbs, Hakkai averted his eyes to his fidgeting hands.

"You know, you can't keep living and existence of pain. Eventually you'll crumble and blow away in the wind." When Hakkai looked up his eyes were glistening with tears.

"It's just that," He swallowed and continued more stably, "It's just that all these years that I've spent living, forgetting; they've all been because of my weaknesses, and because of her strengths. I would have been a mortal, a normal human to come and pass as the next would. But out of spite, out of hatred, I killed a thousand innocent demons. One thousand, Gojyo. And yet they're all living, nestled in some forgotten niche in the back of my consciousness. Sometimes… never mind."

"No," Gojyo said in a motherly tone of voice, "What were you going to say?"

"Nothing, just forget I said anything,"

"Hakkai," There was that disapproving tone again. He swallowed, a silent mark of defeat.

"Sometimes… I feel like maybe I'm the cause of this war, the reason that all the demons have suddenly become evil killing machines." His voice became quieter and more lost as he went on. "Like me," he whispered.

With that Gojyo sat up and pulled Hakkai's head to his chest. He could feel the dragon tamer's body tense and then tremble, trying to hold back the reservoir of emotions he has kept dammed up inside him. With a silent sob, Hakkai clung to him as if he would hurtle off into space if he let go. Gojyo held him, one hand kept his head close, while the other held his shoulders in a sort of offset hug.

And so they rocked back and forth, Hakkai softly sniffling. The red head gently dragged his fingertips up and down his back, and eventually his friend quieted. Hakkai decided not to move, feeling slightly embarrassed from his sudden outbreak. When he did pull back though, his eyes were glued to the ground.

"… I'm sorry" Hakkai whispered almost inaudibly.

"'Kai," Gojyo frowned when he was unable to catch his friend's eye. Gently, he took a hold of Hakkai's chin angling it towards him. Still unwilling to look up, he escaped Gojyo's grasp and looked away again.

"'Kai, look at me," Gojyo said gently, he only shut his eyes. Tentatively, the carrot-top cupped tear streaked cheeks in his hands. "Hakkai," he said again, enunciating his whole name softly. He looked up.

"You don't need to be sorry. There's no reason," Gojyo moved his thumb to wipe away the moisture "For you to regret anything you've done." Hakkai subconsciously leaned into the hands, making the owner of them smile slightly.

"With out your past, you wouldn't be the same 'Kai we all know and love today."

"Aren't you… afraid I'll kill you too?" Hakkai shut his eyes, finally voicing the fear he had kept secret since he had first met Gojyo all those years ago. He didn't want to see the affirmation he knew he would see in his fiery eyes.

"Is that what this is about?" Gojyo blinked and looked into his captive's dark green eyes, "Oh, Hakkai," His smiled lopsidedly, "I'm not afraid of that. You're no longer the person you were, you've changed, and I've watched you do it." He leaned in closer, eyes smiling. "I trust you, Cho Hakkai. I trust you with my life."

And with that Hakkai sniffed and threw himself at the other male, sending them both sprawling to the ground.

"Thank you so much, Gojyo." Hakkai breathed into ruby locks. With a small laugh, Gojyo encased the green clad man in his strong arms again.

"Hey, Hakkai,"

"Hm?"

"We're wet," Gojyo could feel him frowning without him raising his head.

"But it's not raining," The hanyou looked up at the sky, the stars were still visible.

"The grass…"

"You're right," Hakkai pulled his face out of his friend's hair, looking at him with a look in his eyes the other could not place. "I don't mind," With that he laid his head down again, inhaling the scent of the crimson locks.

Gojyo smiled and laid his head against the other male's. My, my… aren't we being affectionate to day? He thought. Despite that, it's getting kind of cold…

Beneath him, Hakkai felt Gojyo shiver. He pushed himself up on to his elbows, eyeing the person below him for any signs of disgust. He found none.

"Cold much?"

"Nah, not really. I'll live," Despite his denial, Hakkai rolled off him, lending him a hand when he stood. With a questioning glance he accepted and was pulled to his feet with more force than would be expected from the slight dragon tamer.

"I may have one eye, but I can still see through you," Hakkai said leaning close to make the statement. Gojyo leaned in closer, surprising him when he went farther and whispered into his ear.

"And do you like what you see?" Hakkai's green eyes widened and met mischievous scarlet ones.

"And what if I said yes?" Two can play those games

"Well then, I'd have to do," Gojyo hoped he was getting the right message from Hakkai, "This," He threw caution to the wind and softly pressed his lips against the brunette's.

It was a comforting slow kiss, Hakkai almost immediately responding to his touch. Despite all he lip locks he had engaged in recently, the kappa's head reeled from the contact.

It's been a long time, Hakkai thought, Since I've been in such intimate contact with another being. He sighed into the hot mouth on his as he deepened the kiss, tangling his deft fingers in long red locks. Happy with the vigor in which the demon slayer was responding, Gojyo traced his bottom lip with his tongue asking entrance, which was quickly granted.

They broke for air a few moments later, Hakkai resting his head against the other male's collarbone. It smelled sweet, faintly of cigarette smoke and booze, but sweet nonetheless.

"Are you still cold, Gojyo," Hakkai said once he caught his breath. He was teasing him now.

"Hm, maybe if we went upstairs and got into something more comfortable…" Who was teasing who now, Gojyo could feel the smile against his skin.

"Well… I don't know." He traced patterns with his finger against Gojyo's chest, playfully flicking him. "You do know this means no more midnight rendezvous with strange, large chested women, don't you?" He liked the sound of his rumbling chuckle when his ear was pressed so close to his chest.

"Yeah, I kind of figured that going into this."

"Too late to back out now, love." Hakkai tested the word out on his tongue, wondering if the other would notice.

"Hm… I could get used to that nick name," Apparently he did, "And what shall I call you? Kitten?" Hakkai almost sweatdropped, "How about, sugar, because you're so sweet?"

"Am I?" Gojyo laughed and nodded.

"Sweet by nature, sweet to taste," Hakkai blushed as he left off at that. "Come one, babe, let's head back before Sanzo figures out we're missing and he's got the brat all to himself." Hakkai laughed quietly, pretending to overlook the name in the middle of the sentence.

"You're right, the place is probably in havoc by now." The two walked back, holding each close.

Their paths were preordained to cross, they were fated to be lovers, and it was the beginning of a series of prophesies that would eventually come to pass, all of which were welcomed with open arms.

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Te he! I just love this pairing. They're soooooo cute together. Anyways, please review. I'd enjoy that very much. I found that when I went over the story I found that I talked about Gojyo's hair a lot. Sorry about that, it was not intended. It is pretty though… Ja