Disclaimer : All characters belongs to J. K. Rowlings. All were kidnapped in the dawn, and are not used to make money. They will be returned when I'm done.

See, don't own so don't sue, unless you're interested in my teddy bears collection...

Besides this work will contain people out of character since I am definitely not JK Rowlings, and some strange sentences since I'm French. Not to forget it's an AU... Still here?

So, on with the show...

Zippyfox, is that soon enough? Don't worry, the confusion is on purpose, you'll find who they all are soon enough.

Nowadays

"They're not safe at Hogwarts. We have to get them out."

"And how do you propose we do that? Maybe we should go to Dumbledore and say 'well, sorry for the disturbance, but I heard a rumour stating that you're putting the Boy-who-lived into danger to further your own goals. Mind if I take him away for a while to protect him from you?' that will go well!"

"No need to be sarcastic, you are aware that there are such things as portkeys, are you not?"

"What I am aware of is that you should be in bed."

"I am."

"I wanted a snack."

"And you couldn't ask?"

A pout "But nobody can make gravy apple compote the way I like it..."

"Share?"

"Sure!"

"Boys!"

"Maybe a pinch of mustard..."

"We never tried curry, by the way."

"Don't mind me, I'll just go and single handedly kidnap the Boy-who-lived!"

"Don't be dramatic, kiss me?"

"I'll wait till you brush your teeth."

A pout. "You're not fun. Hey, leave some for me!"

Somebody sighed and exited the room.

In the library.

"Are you alright?"

"Thank you for your concern. I will live, but they're utterly useless."

"But we love them, nonetheless. Anyway, I agree with our experimental cook, we will use a portkey. Let's hide it in the boy's homework. It will avert suspicion from us if the boy disappear from his tower or the library. You could order your son to go home for familial business or whatnot."

"Yes, but the Manor will be one of the first place they'll check."

"And what about Grimmauld Place? True, it will need a serious cleaning and remodelling, but it's better than nothing. And nobody would think to check for us here."

"So you're back."

"That I am."

"Your other half?"

"Stopped for a snack."

Three sighs could be heard.

"They're all the same!"

Somebody chuckled.

"All right, here is the plan. You will both take the boys and clean Grimmauld Place. I will make the portkey and make sure there will not be any trail going back to us. You will write to your son and greet him once he arrive then take him to Grimmauld Place, as well as your wife. I'll go back to Hogwarts and teaching to make sure nobody can pin the kidnapping on us. We will move them last."

The three men went to do their business. Soon a big mayhem could be heard in the Manor, and four boys could be seen running everywhere. Suddenly, somebody whistled sharply. "Okay, check list! House elves?"

"Check" squealed the House elves.

"Cleaning tools and supplies?"

"Check"

"Clothes and Homework?"

"Check!"

"Nicholas? Ian? Alex? Luke?"

"Check, and it's nice to know that we rank after clothes and homework!"

Before the owner of the first voice could answer, another voice cut in "Snacks?"

The four boys chuckled while the first man sighed. "The travel will be instantaneous. What need will you have for snacks?"

"I'm hungry!"

"Again? But you just eat, not three hour ago!"

"But that was before I had to do all this running around to pack. And now, I'm hungry again."

A few House elves squeaked and popped out to the kitchen to fetch some easily-eaten-with-the-fingers food.

Once everybody was back, they popped out to their new house, while the six humans portkeyed away, one of them happily munching on a piece of chocolate cake.